Only You Can Save Me
by TheNorthernLine
Summary: Kurt is twenty four years old and deeply troubled. He's never told anyone about his traumatic past before. He doesn't even see the point of living. But then he meets Dr Anderson and things start to change. CHAPTERS 1-27 REWRITTEN JANUARY 2014.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: **Only You Can Save Me**

SUMMARY: Kurt is twenty four years old and deeply troubled. He's never told anyone about his traumatic past before. He doesn't even see the point of living. But then he meets Dr Anderson and things start to change. ALL CHAPTERS REWRITTEN JANUARY 2014.

WARNING: Dark themes

DISCLAIMER: TheNorthernLine owns 0% of Glee. Booooo :(

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

Why is it that when you're in a hurry you hit every red light along your journey? Yet the one day I wish that would happen so we would be late, the lights all seem to be stuck on green. It just wasn't my day. Although, to be honest, it wasn't my week, my month, my year, or even my life. That probably sounds a bit dramatic right?

All too soon the engine cut out, leaving us in complete stillness and silence. I stared straight ahead out of the front window at a tree with its leaves swaying slightly in the breeze, trying to invoke some kind of inner calmness within in me, but no such luck.

'Right, here we are.'

'Dad, you do know this is completely pointless right?'

'Just shut up and get out of the car Kurt.'

I groaned in frustration as I reluctantly unbuckled my belt and climbed out of the passenger side of the car. This must have been my hundredth protest that day already, but hey who was counting? I was being dragged here against my will _and_ on my day off work, I was entitled to a little moan. I shut the door behind me with a lot more force than was necessary and couldn't help smiling to myself at the childish display. Dad just gave me a look which clearly said '_Seriously_?' Yeah, I really needed to get out more.

Bringing myself back to reality, I looked up at the large brick building before me and gulped. All of a sudden I had a huge sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach which I put down to nerves and sheer dread. One thing was for certain, if I had eaten my breakfast this morning, this was the precise moment it would have been resurfacing. Not a very nice image, but a fact nonetheless. I desperately wanted to fast forward the next hour of my life, or even better yet just turn around and go straight back home to the safe haven of my bedroom and the warmth of my duvet.

'How about we come back next week?' I suggested to my Dad, one of my last ditch attempts of getting out of there. 'You know, I'm not really prepared for it, but if I had some more time I promise-'

'I'm done arguing with you about this,' Dad said to me in his angry _don't-mess-with-me-kid_ tone.

'But it's a waste of your hard earned money,' I told him. Dad always responded positively to the possibility of saving any money, even when it was just a few cents, but not this time. He was stubborn with a capital S, and I probably couldn't blame him really, not after what had happened recently.

'Kurt, I don't care what you think, you're damn well going in and if I have to drag you by your feet then so be it.'

'I'm twenty four.'

'Then start acting like it.'

I sighed and rolled my eyes up to the heavens. Dad walked straight up to the entrance and I followed after him, trailing a few steps behind. When he got in line for the receptionist I briefly considered running off whilst he was occupied, but knew I'd only be brought here again tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever. It would just be delaying the inevitable.

I wandered over to the waiting area where there were rows of chairs and sat down, folding my arms across my chest like a moody teenager at a family dinner party with a bunch of old people. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I took it out to find a text from my foster brother Kip. _Good Luck Bro!_

Oh great, so Dad or Carole had been gossiping to Kip about all this? That's all I needed, Kip to start telling everyone what a screw up I was. It was bad enough my family had to know. A couple of minutes later Dad came and sat on the chair beside me. 'All booked in,' he told me. 'They said the Doctor will be down shortly to get you.'

'Yippee,' I said sarcastically, clapping my hands together lightly.

'Kurt, please take this seriously. You won't talk to me, you won't talk to Carole or Kip, you won't talk to your friends... if it takes you talking to a complete stranger to sort this out then that's what's going to happen.'

I didn't reply to Dad's little rant because, well what could I say? It was all true. We lapsed into silence instead. Dad picked up a newspaper which had been dumped on the vacant chair next to him and starting flicking through it, mumbling about how the country was going to the dogs. I was tapping my fingers on the wooden arm of my own chair and staring down at my shoes, trying to ignore the sick feeling that was rising up in my throat at an alarming rate. _Think about clouds and kittens_. Maybe luck would be on my side today, perhaps the doctor I was seeing would conveniently get trapped in an elevator, or fall down some stairs and sprain his ankle, or even just have a little asthma attack so I didn't have to endure this-

'Kurt Hummel.'

Crap. My head snapped up at the sound of my name. There was a very smart dressed guy standing by the receptionist desk, holding a file and scanning the waiting area, looking for me. I was a little surprised, I was expecting someone old with grey hair and glasses, but he was young and hot. Well at least I'd have something nice to look at and someone younger would probably be less likely to be homophobic.

'He looks about twelve,' I muttered to my Dad before standing up and walking over slowly, anything to waste a bit of time.

'Hello, I'm Dr Anderson; it's nice to meet you Kurt.'

_Well the feeling isn't mutual_, I thought bitterly and I almost uttered it out loud. He held out his hand for me to shake, which I did briefly. Why was he being so formal? This was hardly some sort of business meeting. And what if I had an OCD disorder and didn't like touching people's hands? Shouldn't he be thinking like that? Although more to the point, why am I thinking all this crap right now?

'If you'd like to follow me, my office is upstairs.'

Dr Anderson turned and began walking away. I threw my Dad a quick look of pure disdain before following the suited quack down the corridor and up some stairs, along another corridor and finally stopping at a door which had a brass plaque on displaying his name. Dr Anderson took some keys out of his trouser pocket and tried to unlock the door but it didn't fit.

'Oops,' he laughed, turning to me for a second before trying another key. 'Why is it never the first key you try? I should really start labelling them.'

I was so tempted to say to him, _God is testing you_. The second key worked and Dr Anderson walked in and held the door open for me. 'Um...'

'Are you ok Kurt?'

'I just... I really need the bathroom.'

'Sure, just go back the way we came and it's the third door on your left. Come straight back in when you're ready.'

'Ok,' I said and walked off. Once in the bathroom I stood looking at my reflection in the mirror, just thinking how pathetic and shameful this whole situation was. I wish I had smuggled some alcohol in with me, at least then I'd be able to numb my feelings somewhat. After a couple of more minutes I figured it was time to get this whole nonsense over with, but at least I'd managed to waste a good five minutes.

I left the bathroom and went back to the office, where the door was wide open. I went into the room and closed the door behind me. Dr Anderson was standing there waiting for me with a stupid smile on his face. I had a good look around; there was a big desk at one end of the room, immaculately tidy. And at the other an area with several chairs and a small coffee table. There was a box of tissues located in the middle of the table and I fought back the urge to laugh. Did they just expect everyone who walked in here to bawl their eyes out? There was also a very faint lemon smell coming from somewhere which I put down to cleaning products. I had to admit, it was all quite pleasant.

'Please take a seat,' Dr Anderson said, pointing to a bright lime green chair. I sat down, folded my arms automatically and wished time would speed up so I could get the hell out of here. 'Would you like anything to drink Kurt? I could get you coffee, water, tea, a soft drink...?'

I briefly considered asking if he had anything stronger, but doubting the guy had a sense of humour, instead I opted to mumble, 'No thanks.'

Dr Anderson sat in the chair opposite me. He folded his right leg over his left and pulled a pen out from his suit's inside pocket. It looked expensive, not like the cheap pens we have at home, most of which had been stolen from somewhere (Dad and Carole were obsessed with hotel pens). Dr Anderson then opened my file and looked up at me with a smile.

'So, Kurt, let me introduce myself and you a little about what we do. I'm Dr Anderson but you can call me Blaine. I'm a clinical psychologist and this first appointment is really just to get an overview of any difficulties you're currently having and what we can do to help you with that. Also, we can discuss which techniques would be best to adopt for future sessions, whether we go for a more practical approach, or a cognitive approach, or even a mixture of the two. We have half an hour today but the rest of the sessions will be the full hour.'

'Right,' I said in a bored tone, hoping my bathroom break would have reduced it to twenty five minutes. My mind then focused on what an unusual name the guy had. It was nice though. _Blaine_.

'Just so you know I will be taking notes as we go along so please don't be put off by that, you'll have my full attention at all times.'

'Ok.'

'Have you any questions before we begin?' Blaine asked me.

'You don't look like a Doctor,' I said without thinking and Blaine laughed.

'Well technically speaking I'm not a medically trained doctor; I couldn't give you a prescription or save your life unfortunately. But I have a PhD in the field of psychology.'

'Oh,' I shrugged.

'So... Kurt, tell me a little about yourself and what's brought you here today?'

'There's nothing to tell,' I replied with a sigh, looking at Blaine's hair and wondering why there was so much product in it. I really doubted it would budge at all in a hurricane. Was it really curly, was that the reason for so much-

'Nothing? Was that your Dad you were sitting with downstairs?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you two close?'

'I guess... look, my Dad practically forced me to come here. This wasn't my idea.'

'Well seeing as you are here, maybe we should take advantage of the time we have... you're not obligated to come back and you've nothing to lose.'

Oh great, he's already started to sound like a bloody text book. Next he'll be telling me it's my own time I'm wasting, that I shouldn't give up on this opportunity, blah blah blah. What a complete dick hea-

'What's on your mind Kurt?'

'Nothing.'

'Can you think of anything you might like to talk to me about? Anything you're having difficulties with, regardless of how small it may seem?'

I wanted to retort with _Yeah, you, interfering arsehole_ but funnily enough I held it back. I shrugged again in response. Blaine studied me for a moment, turning his pen over and over in his hand.

'Kurt, your Dad is clearly worried about you if he felt coming to see me would be in your best interests.'

I looked away from him as though I was thoroughly bored with his drivel, which I was, if we were being perfectly honest. God, I was acting like a sulky kid who didn't want to eat their vegetables at dinner or something. What must this guy think of me? But more importantly, why did I care?

'Why do you think your Dad is worried about you?' Blaine asked. Oh, so he was just going to keep asking was he? I returned my gaze back to him.

'You'd have to ask him,' I answered childishly.

'You must have some idea. Is it something you've talked about? Have you-'

'No offence but I don't want to be here and you don't care as long as you get paid,' I blurted out, beginning to feel annoyed and wound up. 'So could we just cut the bullshit?'

'Kurt you're free to leave anytime you wish,' Blaine said, gesturing to the door with his hand. The offer was tempting, _very_ tempting, but I couldn't leave.

'What, and give my Dad another reason to be on my case? No thanks.'

'Kurt, despite being adamant that your presence here is solely due to your father's insistence, is there not even a little part of you that perhaps thinks it's a good idea?'

'No.'

'You're an adult Kurt, nobody has the ability to completely force you to be here. Perhaps on some level you actually wanted to come? I understand that it's a very hard thing to confide in those closest to you and our instinct is usually to protect our love ones.'

I gave yet another shrug. Blaine scribbled a sentence down in my file. I wondered what he'd written. Probably something along the lines of _Childish idiot with anger and emotional issues. He's beyond help and needs to leave asap._ When he'd stopped writing, Blaine looked up at me but didn't say anything. It was unnerving just having his eyes watching me and he was putting me on edge, so I said the first thing that came to my mind, desperate to ease the awkwardness.

'Don't you get bored of listening to people's problems all day?' I asked, knowing I could never do it myself. I didn't have the patience.

'It's my job,' Blaine said.

'Parents?' I asked him.

'Sorry?'

'The photo,' I replied, pointing to the framed picture on his desk of a middle aged man and woman. Blaine turned slightly to be able to look behind him at his desk and then he turned back to me.

'So you get to ask questions and I don't?' Blaine asked with a smile and I felt like smacking him. Smug idiot. Correction, _gorgeous_ smug idiot. The more I looked at Blaine the more I could see how hot he was and his smile really was to die for. I wonder how he'd feel if he knew I was sitting here ogling him right now? Maybe if I told him he would chuck me out, that would be good. Anyway, enough daydreaming, time to act immature again.

'Whatever,' I said.

'Well, how about we take it in turns. I'll answer one of your questions if you answer one of mine.'

God what was this, second grade? Well if he wanted to play childish games who was I to argue? It was _his_ own time he was wasting and it was better than him going on about 'difficulties' and whatever other crap he had up his PhD sleeves.

'Ok,' I agreed and repeated my question. 'So are they your parents then?'

'Yes,' Blaine replied, looking over at the photo briefly, with a fond smile. 'Ok, so my first question... how old are you Kurt?'

'Wow that's a tricky one,' I replied, rolling my eyes. Do they not even bother asking the basic questions when people call up for an appointment? 'Last time I checked I was twenty four. How old are you? Cos you look about twelve.'

Blaine laughed before answering. 'Twenty eight. Are you in employment, and if so what's your occupation?'

'Teaching assistant.'

'Do you enjoy it?'

'Er, isn't it my turn?'

'Of course, sorry,' Blaine replied with a smile, gesturing with his hand for me to go ahead with my next question.

'Why have you got so much product in your hair?' I asked him, not meaning to sound rude but it probably came across that way, especially coupled with my unamused facial expression.

'I like to maintain a professional image,' Blaine explained. 'So do you enjoy your job Kurt?'

'I suppose, it's just a job... keeps me busy. Do you enjoy yours?'

'Yes I do. What are your living arrangements?'

'I live with my Dad and step Mom. Have you got any brothers and sisters?'

'A brother, he lives in LA. Do you have any siblings?'

'No... well a foster brother. Is your brother a psychologist as well?'

Blaine chuckled. 'He's actually an actor, had a few minor roles but mainly theater. Are you in a relationship Kurt?'

Oh here we go. The dreaded 'relationship' question. Why were people so obsessed about everyone else's love life? Being with someone wasn't a guarantee to happiness. Trust this stupid Blaine guy to hit on a sore spot; it took him all of fifteen minutes. He sensed my discomfort at being asked the question and quietly said my name, prompting me for an answer.

'Kurt?'

Lie. Just say yes. That you've been dating your High School sweetheart for eight years and you plan on marrying her and producing a whole load of annoying children. He doesn't even know you so what does it matter?

But something was telling me that it would be a bad idea. One lie leads onto another and before you know it everything you say is made up and there's no going back. What's the worst that can happen by telling the truth? I'll feel embarrassed? So what, this Doctor probably already thinks I'm a stupid waste of space, I may as well confirm it for him and give him an amusing anecdote to tell in the staff room.

'I'm gay,' I whispered eventually, looking down at the carpet.

'Ok,' Blaine replied. 'Have you struggled with accepting your sexuality Kurt?'

'Um... no. I've been sure since I was fourteen.'

'Have you got a boyfriend?' Blaine asked and I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat. Hang on a minute, since when did he start asking all the questions? I thought we were taking it in-

'Have you ever been in a relationship Kurt?' Blaine asked quietly.

My eyes snapped up from the carpet to lock with his. I took a deep breath before shaking my head again, the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Oh for fucks sake, what was this guy doing to me? How did we get here, from questions about jobs and hair?

'Is there a reason why?'

'I, er...'

'Take your time,' Blaine said kindly after several long seconds of silence.

His eyes were so caring and I immediately regretted the question earlier about the state of his hair. I didn't quite know how to explain it, but I felt comfortable in Blaine's presence. Of course I wanted to be anywhere but in this room but I was surprised it felt relatively easy telling him stuff. So, back to the reason why I'd never had a relationship? Sure, I could talk about that, why not.

'When I was seventeen,' I started to say quietly. 'I...' Just say it Kurt. What have you got to lose? It won't change anything. The past can never be rewritten. 'I was um...'

But the sudden build-up of anxiety gripped me. I shot up from the chair and rushed over to the window, breathing deeply as though I'd been holding my breath... maybe I had been. After a couple of minutes my breathing started to slow down but I stayed at the window, staring out at the cloudy sky. It was oddly comforting.

'Are you ok?' Blaine asked from across the room, making me jump a little. I'd almost forgotten he was there. I nodded from where I was.

'Kurt, what happened when you were seventeen? You've got nothing to fear here. Saying something aloud isn't going to cause you any harm.'

'I don't think I can say it,' I told him, my voice cracking.

'Yes you can Kurt. It's only words, they can't hurt you.'

Come on Kurt, just tell him. Isn't this the reason why I was dragged to this stupid place, to sort my head out? But would it make any difference? Probably not. Could this quack help me? Probably not. Will I walk out of here feeling any better? Probably not. Will it change what happened? Most definitely not. Then what was the point of... _oh fuck it_...

'I was raped,' I whispered.

My whole body tensed up as I said the three little words I'd never said out loud before now. You could literally hear a pin drop. The room went deadly silent, but I could still feel my heart beating fast against my chest and my hands shaking violently. I don't think the doctor was expecting me to say that. I felt a tear rolling down my left cheek and quickly wiped it away with my sleeve.

'That's an incredibly brave thing to say Kurt.'

I felt like laughing, was he for real? It wasn't brave, it was completely pathetic. I was just a useless and irrelevant human being. Doctor Anderson was no doubt just quoting from his many text books he'd read when learning to become a Psychologist. Book 1, page 1, tell your patient how brave they are at the earliest opportunity. The truth was, he didn't care, and I wasn't worth caring about.

'Kurt would you like some water?' Blaine asked me and I shook my head. Although my mouth was dry as a bone right now, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep anything down. 'Would you be ok with sitting back down again? You don't have to if you feel more comfortable standing over there.'

I didn't answer the question but I turned away from the window and returned to my seat, clasping my hands together in my lap and looking anywhere but at Blaine, too ashamed to see the look in his eyes.

'Kurt, did you get any help with this at the time?' Blaine eventually asked me, leaning forwards in his chair, his own hands knitted together on his knees and my file sitting abandoned on the chair beside him.

'No... I've never told anyone before.'

'Why not?'

'Because... just because alright,' I answered defensively. I wanted this to stop now. 'Why does there have to be some stupid profound reason behind everything?'

Blaine fell silent. I was about to look up at him but he started talking again. 'Thank you for confiding in me Kurt. I know that must have been very difficult for you to say, especially as you've been carrying this traumatic incident around with you for seven years. You've done really well.'

'Yeah sure,' I mumbled.

'You don't think so?'

'Oh yeah, getting all worked up over saying a few little words is really fucking great. It's _stupid_, and I'm stupid.'

'You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Kurt. I know it can sometimes be hard to ask for help, or even to accept help, but never feel as though you don't deserve it or that it is somehow a character flaw that makes you weak. The mind is a complex thing and just because there's no physical evidence of trauma, it doesn't mean there isn't any. I'd like to ask you Kurt, have you ever tried taking your own life?'

'Yes,' I answered quietly after a brief hesitation and wondering whether to lie and say no.

'How many times?'

'Twice... the first time was... was just after.'

'And the second time?'

'A couple of weeks ago.'

'Is that what prompted your Dad to make this appointment for you?'

'Yeah,' I replied.

'He loves you very much doesn't he? He sounds like he wants to do anything to help his son have a better life. That's a pretty great thing to have, such a supportive parent.'

'Mmm,' I managed to say through trying not cry.

Finally, I built up the courage and slowly raised my eyes to look at Blaine for the first time since those three words. I'd been wrong to avoid him, he actually seemed genuinely concerned for me, like a friend or family member would be. Or maybe he had perfected some acting skills? Either way, I was incredibly grateful he wasn't showing any signs of pity towards me.

'Do you feel as though you'd be able to talk about what happened Kurt? When you were raped, and the times you attempted to end your life?'

'I don't know,' I answered truthfully, and I began to tap my feet in agitation. 'I'm not sure I want to do this. I don't think I...'

Oh crap, and now the waterworks _were_ happening again. What the hell was wrong with me? _Keep it together_. Although that was easier said than done. Blaine reached over to get a tissue from the box and held it out to me. I took it and smiled in thanks.

'Are you ok to continue?'

'Yeah.'

'Ok. Kurt, you've got two options here. You can tell me to get lost and carry on with your life without addressing any of these issues... or you can step outside your comfort zone. Take a risk and see if it works. I really believe I can help you, and together we can make your life worth living for, and stop these horrific demons from your past controlling your future. I don't think you came here with the intention of telling me about your past, but you did. You've surprised yourself and I think you could continue surprising yourself if you decided to continue treatment, which I feel, at least to begin with, should focus heavily on the cognitive side. Get those negative thoughts to stop being so prominent and demanding in your brain.'

'You make it sound so easy,' I sobbed, feeling embarrassed at my crying.


	2. Chapter 2

_~KURT'S POV~_

'I really don't mean to. It won't be easy and I'm not going to lie to you and say that after one or two sessions you're going to be magically cured. It will take effort on your part and each hour, each day, each week, hopefully we'll be able to chip away at the problem, knocking it down and building a stronger mind set in its place. So, the possibility of a brighter future? Seeing life in a more positive light? Achieving goals you'd never dreamed of? That sounds pretty good right? Like it might be worth a shot?'

'I don't know... maybe. I need to think about it.'

'It's completely up to you. I believe six sessions have already been paid for but I'll give you to the end of the week to think it through... if you decide not to go ahead with the remaining five sessions just give us a call and we'll sort out a refund ok?'

'Thanks.'

'I'd also like to talk to you about keeping safe. With your recent history of attempting to take your own life, do you feel in the near future that you may be at risk?'

'Um... no, I don't think so. It depends on triggers.'

'Ok, well if you do feel you're getting to that low point, please either ring us here, or a helpline or take yourself to hospital. I want you to stay safe Kurt, there's help out there, you just have to ask for it. Don't _ever_ feel like it doesn't matter, talk to someone and we'll get you the help you need.'

'Ok,' I nodded.

'Another thing, if you do continue with the sessions, which I hope you do, would you rather see a female? It would be no problem to transfer you to one of my colleagues if that would make you feel more comfortable about attending?'

'No, I'm not bothered,' I shrugged.

'Ok, well it was really great to meet you today Kurt and I hope to see you next week.'

Blaine stood up from his chair, so I did the same. He opened his office door and I followed him to the top of the stairs we'd come up. He turned to me and held his hand out again.

'Take care Kurt,' he smiled as I shook his hand.

I didn't reply, but smiled back slightly. As soon as Blaine turned back towards his office I walked down the stairs I let out a huge sigh of relief. I felt completely and utterly drained, like I'd ran a marathon or something. Who knew sitting and thinking could be so exhausting? I just wanted to go home now and crawl into bed for a few hours. I reached the waiting area and Dad spotted me straight away, jumping up from his seat.

'So how did it go?' he asked as we walked out of the building together.

'Waste of time,' I replied. Well I was hardly going to tell him the truth was I?

'Kurt, I've paid upfront for six sessions and you're going to _every_ one of them. Do you understand?'

'Loud and clear Dad,' I replied.

I had a lot of thinking to do. I'd just spilled my biggest secret to a stranger who spends far too much time on his hair and looked barely old enough to vote, let alone have a PhD or whatever. What was I getting into? Did I really want to dissect my past with a complete random? Wasn't all this psychology stuff a bunch of crap anyway? One thing was for sure though, I needed some painkillers, I had a thumping headache.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

After a very long and tiring day, I got back to my apartment just after six. It was days like this that I really valued my job and the study I put into it. There will always be people who are struggling mentally, and knowing there was a possibility I could help them overcome their obstacles was a great comfort to me. Helping people just made sense to me.

Mark was already home, chatting to someone on his phone in the kitchen as he made something to eat, well I say made, something was whirring away in the microwave. We smiled at each other as I walked past the open doorway and then I went to sit down on the sofa in the living room, pulling out some books, a note pad and a pen from my bag. I got to work and a few minutes later I heard Mark saying 'Bye then,' and then his footsteps.

'Hey, fancy going out for a couple of drinks tonight?' Mark asked me, standing in the doorway. 'Ryan and his brother are in town for a couple of days.'

'Not tonight, I want to read up on a few things... you go though.' After all they were Mark's old college friends, not mine, and 'a couple of drinks' usually meant staggering home at 4am having lost your keys and wallet, along with your dignity.

'Oh come on Blaine, it'll be a laugh.'

'Sorry, I can't.'

'Why not? Surely you don't need to be spending all evening reading?'

'Well, I saw a new client today and I want to be more prepared for our next session... he really threw me.'

'Don't tell me... his Mommy left him? His Daddy beat him? He just wants to be loved?'

'Mark, don't,' I warned him.

'Oh lighten up... so what's wrong with this one then?'

'You know I can't tell you,' I said to Mark for what felt like the millionth time. It was beyond tedious now. I'd never given out any details about my clients before, and I wasn't about to start now. He knew that, yet he still asks.

'Blaine, just do your research or whatever later, or tomorrow... just not now, _please_? Let's go have some fun.'

'It needs to be done whilst it's still fresh in my memory. But you go out and have a good time.'

'I'm getting tired of you bringing your work home with you all the time,' Mark sighed. 'If you're not reading you're on the net looking stuff up, or making notes... don't you think it's a bit... excessive?'

'I take my work very seriously.'

'Well at this rate I'll have to pay for sessions just to spend some quality time with my own bloody boyfriend.'

'Don't be so dramatic.'

Mark walked off in a huff back into the kitchen. The last thing I needed right now was an argument. Although it seemed to be a common occurrence between us these days. I needed painkillers, my head was exploding.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

The week had gone by so quickly. It seemed that one minute I was arriving home after seeing Dr Anderson, and the next I was about to leave the house for my next appointment. I'd decided I had nothing to lose by giving the treatment a go, after all I'd had no intention of ever telling anyone about my past yet I blurted it all out to a complete stranger.

I walked down the stairs and grabbed my favourite coat which was hanging up by the front door. I double checked that my car keys were still in my pocket where I'd left them before reaching for the door handle.

'Wait up,' my Dad shouted behind me, appearing out of the kitchen with a piece of toast in his hand. 'I just need to find my shoes. Carole keeps putting them away.'

'Well what do you expect when you just dump them by the front door? It's untidying.'

'Yeah yeah,' Dad mumbled.

'Anyway, there's really no need for you to find your shoes, I can go by myself. I don't need you holding my hand again.'

'I don't think so,' Dad sighed, coming to a stop in front of me. He was giving me a look which clearly said he didn't trust me, but I really needed to do this on my own.

'You know they'd call if I didn't show up, they've only got the house number. Please, just trust me on this.'

'I don't know Kurt.'

'_Please_? If I'm lying I give you permission to force me to sit through an entire football game.'

Dad laughed. 'Well that I'd love to see.'

'Just put a little faith into me Dad.'

'Well I suppose you have seemed a little better this week and I'm proud of you for actually wanting to go back. Your first session was helpful then?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Like I've said three hundred times already this week, I don't want to talk about it.'

'But you did talking to that doctor right? I mean, you didn't just sit in silence for thirty minutes?'

'Well obviously I _talked_ to him and stuff, but that's all you're getting.'

'Ok, ok... well as long as you talk to the doctor, that's something at least.'

'Can I go on my own then?' I asked with a hopeful smile.

'Yes,' Dad replied. 'We'll talk later tonight after dinner.'

'Thanks Dad.'

* * *

><p>'It's good to see you again,' Blaine smiled as I walked up to him in reception. I didn't say anything, but smiled very briefly. Once again I followed him up to his office and took a seat on one of the lime green eyesores. Did they seriously think that they looked good? He offered me a drink but I declined just like last time. I didn't understand how someone could drink during a therapy session, it was just too nerve wracking.<p>

'So... how have you been feeling since our first meeting?' Blaine asked once he'd made himself comfortable opposite me, my file lying open on his lap and pen poised. 'I know to begin with you weren't too happy about being here, but the fact you have returned, I _hope_, means you took away some positives last week.'

'I've been ok,' I shrugged. Oh here we go again, me acting like a stroppy kid with the ability to only give very short answers.

'Could you tell me what made you decide to come today? Was it one particular thing or a combination of factors?'

'Um, well it makes my Dad happy.'

'Is that the only reason? Was it purely to appease another person or did you have a reason for yourself for returning?'

'Well I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.'

Blaine laughed. 'Well that's good to hear. What were you expecting prior to the last appointment?'

'Honestly?'

'It's the best policy,' Blaine smirked and I rolled my eyes at him.

'Well honestly, I expected some old guy with a beard telling me all my problems stemmed from when I was six or something.'

Blaine laughed again. He had such a nice laugh and his whole face lit up making him look seriously adorable. I noticed he didn't have any rings on his fingers so he probably wasn't married. But he was bound to have some model looking girlfriend. Lucky bitch.

'Well we don't have anyone working here with that description. I can see how that would be pretty off putting though. So do you feel more positive about these sessions now?'

'A little. Like you said last time, I've nothing to lose really. And my Dad's paying so...'

'Ah yes, the banks of Mom's and Dad's,' Blaine smiled. 'Well that's really great Kurt and I mean it when I say I'm glad you came back. Something I meant to touch on last time... can I ask if you're taking any medication in relation to your mental health? You really don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'

'I'm on anti-depressants.'

'Ok, do you mind if I ask if they're helping?'

'I don't know yet, I only started taking them three weeks ago. Apparently it can take a month or two for the effects to kick in.'

Blaine smiled at me before scribbling something down in my notes. 'Now Kurt, last week you told me how you were raped when you were seventeen, and that it was the first time you'd ever told anyone. How do you feel about that now you've had time to reflect on it? That was a very brave thing you did.'

There was that 'brave' word again; they didn't give up did they? 'Um... I don't know,' I mumbled, scratching my left arm with my right hand nervously. 'Ok I suppose.'

'Do you regret telling me at all?' Blaine asked, tilting his head to one side and studying me closely.

'No,' I said with a shake of the head. 'I think... I dunno, it was a... relief I suppose.'

'In what way?'

'I said it and... and nothing bad happened.'

'That's brilliant Kurt, it's great you've been able to see and think of it in that way. The more we discuss a subject the less it will affect you. After all it's only words. We can't change what has happened in the past, but hopefully we can massively change your future, which is what these sessions are all about. For example, after a death some people see the grieving process as completely putting an end to any talk of the person who died. If you don't mention something it can't hurt you right? But suppressing it is the most harmful thing you can do. As countless studies show, talking about them, although especially painful at first, is a really effective tool in not letting your mind take control.'

'I guess,' I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

'Kurt, I'd like to use this session to talk about what happened. Would you be ok with that?'

I swallowed nervously before replying. 'Um, sure.'

'If you don't want to answer something that's completely fine, or if you want to stop at any time just tell me ok? If it proves too difficult we can always try again another time.'

'Ok.'

'Did you know your attacker Kurt?' Blaine asked and I nodded that I did.

'He was at my school,' I said quietly.

'Was he a friend?'

'No,' I scoffed. 'He... he was on the football team... and... and he bullied me.'

'What sort of things did he do to you?'

'Called me names, pushed me over, threw slushies in my face, and shoved me into lockers... then one day I snapped. I followed him into the changing rooms, demanding to know what his problem was.'

I took a deep breath. My hands were shaking slightly, but not as much as the previous week. I closed my eyes and told myself to get a grip and thought back to everything Blaine had told me. They were just words; nothing was going to happen by talking about it. _He_ wasn't here. I was safe. I opened my eyes to see Blaine watching me carefully.

'How did he respond to being confronted?' he asked.

'H-He kissed me.'

Blaine raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. 'Well it sounds as though he was bullying you because he was confused over his own sexuality.'

'Yeah that's pretty much what I thought.'

'That must have been a difficult time for you?'

'Yeah... I guess I was more upset that he'd stolen my first kiss.'

'Of course. What happened afterwards?'

'He threatened to kill me if I told anyone what happened... like anyone would have believed me anyway.'

'Did you tell anyone about the kiss or the threat?' Blaine asked.

'Not then, no,' I replied. 'Things just went back to how they were until...'

'Until what Kurt?'

'Junior Prom. He... he was elected King... and... and...'

'It's ok, take your time,' Blaine said kindly. 'You're doing really great.'

'Some of the other kids... they played a joke on me... elected me Queen. I was going to run, it was _so_ humiliating, but a little voice in my head said to just hold my head up high and go and get coronated... so with the little courage I had left, that's what I did.'

'Good for you,' Blaine smiled. 'Was he in on the joke they played?'

'No... he thought I had arranged it all, that I was trying to get him back for all the bullying... that I was trying to "out" him in some way. H-he told me I wouldn't get a-away with it.'

Oh God, I was crying now. I leaned my head back and tried to blink away the tears, but it was no use. Blaine passed me a tissue and I mumbled 'thanks,' then dabbed at my eyes. I tried to steady my breathing for a couple of minutes. This was so hard, but at the same time it was as though a weight was being lifted from my shoulders with every word. It was a long time ago; I shouldn't be so scared anymore.

'What happened then Kurt?'

'I left the prom and went to sit in the school choir room... I must have been in there for a while because when I came out everybody was already gone. I was... walking to my car... and I heard somebody behind me... I turned and...'

'_There you are you fucking little fag._'

'...it was him... he... he followed me...'

'_Where do you think you're going you disgusting fairy?_'

'... I t-thought he was going to h-hit me or something... but... but then h-he... p-p-please don't m-make me say it a-again.'

I slid from the chair onto the carpet, hugging my knees tightly to my chest and closing my eyes as I let the tears continue to flow, I was beyond being able to control them now and didn't even have the energy to feel embarrassed about it. I felt sick and I was shaking uncontrollably.

'_This is what you want isn't it?_'  
>'<em>You make me sick.<em>'  
>'<em>You're a perverted little Queen and nobody will ever want you.<em>'

I gasped and opened my eyes as I felt a hand land gently on my shoulder. Blaine was kneeling in front of me. His eyes looked watery, but I couldn't be sure whether my own tear filled ones were blurring my vision. I shook my head and closed my eyes again; the idea was completely absurd, as if Dr Anderson would get teary over me. After a few seconds I looked up at him again. Wow he had such gorgeous eyes. They were like pools of-

'Kurt... you're safe here. Nobody is going to hurt you. I think you're a really courageous young man.'

'I don't feel like it,' I replied.

Blaine's hand left my shoulder but he didn't move from his position in front of me. I felt like telling him that he was creasing his expensive suit trousers by kneeling on them but he spoke before me. 'What did you do after the attack Kurt?'

'I pretended I was sick for a week, but then my Dad started to get suspicious, asking me lots of questions. I didn't want to go back to school, I _couldn't_ go back, so I... I raided the bathroom cabinet and downed a load of pills. My step Mom found me pretty quickly... otherwise...'

'Did you go to hospital?'

'Yeah. They kept me in for a couple of days.'

'Were you assessed at the hospital by a Psychiatrist?' Blaine asked.

'Yeah I was. I told him it was because of the bullying. It led to... to _him_ being expelled.'

'Why didn't you tell anyone he'd attacked you?'

'I couldn't,' I whispered, more tears spilling from my eyes. 'Nobody would have believed me anyway.'

'Do you really think that?'

'Yeah. I was just a stupid teenager and he was a popular football player.'

'At the time you were just seventeen and extremely vulnerable. I understand you would have been in a very difficult and lonely place. But looking back, do you believe your Dad would have thought you were lying if you'd told him what happened?'

I thought for a moment before answering. 'No I guess not.'

'Were there other reasons you didn't tell anyone?'

'I was ashamed,' I whispered. 'I didn't hide my sexuality at school and... maybe I did go a bit overboard expressing myself... I thought people might say I was asking for it.'

'It wasn't your fault Kurt.'

I nodded. 'I know. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.'

'It sure is. What led you to your most recent suicide attempt?'

I took a deep breath. 'A build-up of things. My step Mom was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and it brought back all the memories of when my Mom died and I didn't handle it very well.'

'I'm sorry to hear about your step Mom, it must have been an awful time when you all got the news.'

'Yeah it was. She was the one who stayed strong; the rest of us just fell apart. I um... I go to this er... gay bar most Friday and Saturday nights. Just to try and feel normal for a while and to get drunk. For a few hours I almost forget what a freak I-'

'Kurt you're not a freak.'

'Aren't I?'

'No,' Blaine said, shaking his head.

'Well you are a doctor, I guess I should trust you,' I joked.

'Well thank you,' Blaine laughed.

'Um... shall we get up?' I suggested, only just remembering again that we were still on the floor.

'Yes, of course,' Blaine replied and we both got up from the floor and sat back down in our seats. 'Er... where were we? Oh yes, in what way did you not handle your step Mom's cancer diagnosis?'

'Well I drank... even more than I was already. Then a few weeks ago at the bar a I go to, a guy offered to buy me a drink. I declined as I always do and said I was waiting for someone but he just smirked at me and then I felt his hand land on my hip and I just lost it... I screamed at him. But he... he called me a tease and a whore.'

I sighed and looked away from Blaine. 'How did that make you feel?' he asked me after a few moments of silence.

'Pathetic, stupid, worthless... when I got home I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and hated, despised what I was seeing. I'm twenty four, I've never had a boyfriend, I've only got two friends who have bothered to stick around, I'm a teaching assistant to six year olds because I don't belong in the adult world. I've spent seven years just existing, keeping to myself, having nightmares... nothing has changed. It's as t-though my life f-froze that n-night and it'll never m-move forwards, ever.'

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. Jesus, where had all that come from? Blaine had been hanging on my every word, his eyes slightly widened and his brow furrowed in thought. 'It's completely understandable you feel this way Kurt. But things can change, I know it's scary and sometimes even seems impossible, but life doesn't have to be that way.'

'Have you got a magic wand?'

'I'm sorry, I didn't go to Hogwarts,' Blaine replied and I couldn't help laughing. He joined in too. 'It would be cool to have a magic wand though, would make my job the easiest in the world.'

'Well let me know if you get an owl from Professor McGonagall,' I teased and Blaine laughed again.

'I will do.' Blaine had a quick glance at his notes before looking at me again. 'Do you mind me asking how you tried to take your life, the second time?' I lifted my left arm up and showed Blaine my wrist. He looked at the scar there and nodded that he understood. 'Who found you?'

'My Dad.'

'Would your Dad say you were pathetic? Stupid? Worthless?'

I frowned. 'Er... no.'

'What about your step Mom?'

'No.'

'Kurt, these thoughts that you're having... the demon inside your head wants you to feel that way. He feeds on your negativity and vulnerability. He'd love for you to just carry on with life as you have been. It's somewhat comfortable and easy... but we both know that's not what you want. We want to reverse that vicious cycle of feeling down, therefore not doing the things that bring you joy, which it turn makes you feel even worse about yourself. It's a bit like a muscle, you have to really work at it and push through the pain to get it stronger. Does that make sense to you?'

'Yeah,' I replied.

'So what would you say to someone else who was in your position?'

'I... I don't...'

'Ok, let's try something. I'm you ok? You're a friend, someone who cares about me and has my best interests at heart.'

Role-play? Oh God was he for real? I laughed nervously. 'Oh I don't think, um...'

'Just give a try Kurt,' Blaine smiled. 'What's the worst that can happen?'

'I'll look completely stupid,' I replied, blushing a little with embarrassment.

Blaine shrugged. 'So? It's only me and you here and maybe I'll be the one who looks stupid.'

Blaine laughed and I couldn't help giggling either. I can't believe he wanted to do role-play. Oh god, this was going to be a complete car crash. He actually looked kind of excited by the idea, like it was his favourite thing to do or something.

'Shall we give it a go?' Blaine asked with a cheeky smile that made my heart flutter.

I sighed. 'Ok.'

'Cool.'

Blaine sort of psyched himself up before speaking again. 'Right... when I was seventeen I was violated in a horrible attack. Now I'm twenty four and I still have nightmares about it, I find it hard to relate to adults and I've never had a boyfriend. That's pathetic isn't it?'

Blaine was looking at me, waiting for my response. I almost laughed, this was just beyond ridiculous. But I guess I should at least try to play along. Ok, so what advice would I give to someone else? I took a deep breath, here goes nothing.

'Um, no it's... it's not pathetic,' I mumbled, just saying the first thing that came into my mind. 'It's understandable after what... happened.'

'But I feel so stupid and worthless. I'd be better off dead.'

'No you wouldn't,' I retorted immediately, surprising myself.

'What have I got to live for?' Blaine asked.

'Er, your family, friends... um, the future.'

Blaine gave me a warm smile. He was so good at making me feel calm and worth helping, but then I have to remind myself it's just his job. He's getting paid to do this; he's not a real friend.


	3. Chapter 3

_~KURT'S POV~_

I walked out of the building to my car, and as soon as I sat in the driver's seat and closed the door, I let out a long sigh. Well that had been pretty intense. But nowhere near as awful as I thought it would be, talking about my past. Blaine was right, saying the words out loud got easier the more you did it. I couldn't control the past, but the future was a completely different story. Maybe there was something in this whole talking therapy thing after all.

I did my seatbelt up and was about to turn the engine on when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to find a text message had been received from my Dad. I laughed as I read it.

_hOW. dID. tHE sESSION. gO?. dAD._

I told Kip it was a bad idea to try and teach my Dad the art of texting, he could barely use his phone to make calls. Even the internet was still a bizarre notion to him, he said it gave him too much a headache and what was wrong with a good old fashioned encyclopaedia. Old people hey? I started up the engine and began the drive home, still giggling to myself over the text.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I was sitting on the sofa at home, a glass of red wine in my hand as I read a book, a novel, nothing work related. Well I was trying to read it anyway; I'd just had to go over the same paragraph for the fourth time because none of it was going in. My mind was completely distracted. What was the matter with me? I heard a key in the front door and a few seconds later, Mark appeared in the room.

'Hey babe,' he announced.

'Hi,' I replied with a smile.

'Alcohol on a week night?' he smirked, pointing to my glass.

'Don't ask,' I laughed. I put the glass and my book down on the coffee table as Mark sat beside me. He leaned in for a kiss. I ran my hand through his floppy mousy brown locks and rested it at the back of his neck.

When Mark pulled back from the kiss he looked deep into my eyes. 'I grabbed a burger on the way home. Have you eaten?'

'Yeah,' I replied, knowing that look he was giving me.

'Good, let's go to bed then,' Mark whispered into my ear and I felt myself freeze. 'Put your old Dalton uniform on, that never fails to get me going.'

'I... I'm not really in the mood tonight,' I said with an apologetic smile. Mark looked at me with angry eyes.

'When are you ever in the mood?' Mark shouted, making me wince slightly. 'Jesus Blaine.'

'I'm sorry; I've just a bit of a rough day.'

'Sitting around all day listening to nutters who just want some attention? You really don't know what rough is babe.'

'Don't you dare undermine my work Mark,' I shouted back, really surprising myself by how mad I sounded. But I was sick of him seeing my job as some big money grabbing joke. Mark just stared at me and shook his head. I stood up and grabbed my glass of wine, downing the remains.

'Blaine what are you-'

'I'm going to bed... to _sleep_,' I said before walking out of the room.

'Blaine,' Mark called out after me, but I ignored him.

* * *

><p><em><em>_~KURT'S POV~_

I really wanted to make an effort. After all it was Carole's birthday and she'd been through a lot in the past few months, not helped by attempted suicide bid a few weeks ago. It seemed so utterly selfish now, yet at the time I felt it was the only option I had. It just goes to show how different our moods and state of minds could be.

I felt sick at the memory. I'd put Dad and Carole through hell, acted horribly and yet they were still there for me no matter what. I really didn't deserve it. I was beyond grateful and doubted I'd ever be able to thank them properly. Tonight's dinner wasn't just a birthday treat, we were also celebrating the news she got three days ago that her cancer was in complete remission. It was one of the rare times I'd seen my Dad cry happy tears. It seemed as though things were starting to look up for the Hummel household, I just hoped it was destined to stay that way. Who knows, maybe in a years time I'll have a date to take along to Carole's birthday meal. Yeah, as if. But a guy can dream right?

I stood in front of my bedroom mirror, a towel wrapped around my waist from recently having a shower. _I can do this_, I told myself sternly, thinking back to a conversation I had with Blaine in therapy.

* * *

><p>'I get the impression you haven't been yourself for a long time Kurt,' Blaine said to me quietly. 'Would that be a fair observation?'<p>

'I don't know... it's been so long,' I sighed, a little taken aback by his observation. 'I don't really know who the real me is anymore.'

'I may be completely barking up the wrong tree here but... the clothes you wear are very conformist. Comfortable. Neutral colours. Has that always been your style or am I plucking crazy ideas out of thin air?'

Has he been talking to my Dad or something? 'No, I... I used to be pretty outrageous with my clothes in High School, but after... well I just wanted to blend into the crowd, go unnoticed... it's just stayed that way ever since.'

'You mentioned earlier about a dinner coming up for your step Mom's birthday?'

'Yeah next Thursday.'

'How about we use that as an opportunity to release the old Kurt?' Blaine asked with a mischievous smile.

'Oh, I don't know,' I laughed nervously.

'It's ok to be scared, we can work with scared. What I'm asking you to do is _try_. Mix things up a little. But I want you to feel comfortable in yourself Kurt, you don't have to go crazy changing everything if a little at a time will be more manageable. If you decide you can't do it for whatever reason, that's ok, and we can discuss that in more detail afterwards.'

'I guess I could try,' I said quietly.

'What is it that worries you? People looking?'

'Yeah... judging me... talking about me.'

'What type of things do you imagine people would think?'

'Um, that I look ridiculous, that I look gay, full of myself... that kind of thing.'

'Do you spend your time judging other people Kurt?' Blaine asked with a slight smile.

'Er... no not really. '

'What are the chances of every person you come across judging you do you think?'

'Probably quite low.'

'Say you do walk past someone and you happen to notice they looked at you... it might perhaps be because they're admiring your top, or your shoes, or hairstyle, or they find you attractive or think they recognise you, or even that you just happen to be in their eye line... it doesn't necessarily mean they're thinking something negative.'

'But they might me,' I argued.

'True. But so what if they do? Why does their opinion matter? If you feel good, that's all that matters. If putting a bit of gel in your hair...' Blaine paused to point to his own. '...gives you more confidence and makes you feel... _you_, then go for it.'

'Hmm,' I responded, letting his words go round and round in my head.

'Take me for example, you asked the very first time we met why I put so much product in my hair.'

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I totally judged Blaine despite being afraid of people judging me. What a complete hypocrite. 'I'm so sorry I said that. I was really nervous that day and I just-'

'Don't worry about it Kurt,' Blaine laughed. 'The point is, I'm happy with my hair. Yeah it's obvious I put a lot of gel in and some people are going to look and think what the hell is that mess, but so what?'

'But how can it not bother you if someone makes a horrible comment?'

'Because if someone remarks negatively about you it's more than likely to be a stranger or person you don't know very well and usually says a lot more about them than you. You have to ask yourself, why would a person feel the need to say something degrading to someone they don't know? It's not the behaviour of a very nice person. But everyone has different likes and tastes, the world would be pretty boring if we were all same. Who would you trust more to be honest with you, a complete stranger or a good friend or family?'

'Yeah I see your point.'

'What is the demon saying to you right now about mixing things up a little for your dinner next week?'

'Don't do it.'

'And what does Kurt have to say in reply?'

'Um... shut up?' I offered and Blaine laughed.

* * *

><p>So for the first time in years I put a bit of product in my hair, styling it and giving it more of a look instead of my usual flat and lifeless style. I guess over the last few years my hair has been mirroring what's going on inside my mind. Instead of the usual unflattering denim jeans, worn out sneakers and hoodies I wore, I rummaged in my wardrobe and pulled out some old black skinny jeans, a casual nicely fitting white shirt and some brown boots. Of course it was still a lot more conservative than my high school days but I would have grown out of the ghastly clothes I used to wear by now anyway. Well at least I hope I would have. I put all the items of clothing on my bed and stared down at them all, chewing the nail on my right thumb.<p>

Not wanting to overthink it too much and give myself enough time to freak out and change my mind, I snatched up the clothes and put them on, ignoring the anxious feeling in my stomach. It felt nice, the jeans against my legs and the light fabric of the shirt against my chest. Then I went over to the mirror with my eyes closed. I took a deep breath, then opened them, looking over my appearance.

You look stupid.

_No I don't._

Yes you do.

_So what if I do? I feel good._

People will stare at you.

_So what?_

You look gay.

_I am gay._

People will know you're gay because of your clothes and-

_Oh shut the fuck up._

'Be brave, have courage, don't let the demon win. You can do this,' I said aloud to my reflection. Then I sat on the end of my bed, building up the nerve to go downstairs and face the world as _me_. I glanced over to my laptop to see the last website I was surfing still visible. It was a dating website. I didn't join or anything, but was just looking at the kind of guys that were on there, just out of curiosity. The mere idea of dating still felt completely alien to me, despite the conversation Blaine and I had.

* * *

><p>'Kurt, would you like to have a boyfriend and be in a relationship?' Blaine asked cautiously. Oh god, did he have to go down this route?<p>

'In theory,' I replied.

'What's the worst possible scenario you can think of if you went on a date with someone?'

'Um... they'll reject me... realise what a weirdo I am... I'll freak out at the slightest thing or touch.'

'That's the demon talking Kurt. What about the positive outcomes? You might actually end up enjoying yourself, you might end up falling in love, you might meet someone really special.'

'Not likely,' I whispered.

'Why do you say that?'

'Who would want to be with someone who... who's been...'

I stopped talking and closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths before opening them again, to find Blaine watching me carefully. He scribbled something down in my file without taking his eyes off me. 'Kurt, you know that's not... yes I'm sure there would be a few guys out there who would perhaps be... put off, by that information.'

'Just a few?' I scoffed.

'But you have to ask yourself whether that's the type of person you'd want to be with anyway. Most guys would be sympathetic, they'd do their best to understand and support you. Everyone is different, there are some people who don't wish to be in a relationship and jump from one fling to another, and there are some people who have been married to the love of their lives for sixty years.'

How the hell would he know? He wasn't gay; he didn't know how gay guy's minds worked. I'd read loads of stuff online and seen countless men at the bar I went to. The majority of them seemed shallow and completely full of themselves and pretty much after one thing. But I really didn't feel like arguing with Blaine and I knew he meant well and was just trying to help.

'The whole thing just terrifies me.'

'Is it the sexual aspect of relationships that frightens you the most?'

'I guess,' I gulped. 'Just the thought of... of... it makes me feel sick and dirty.'

'It's not surprising you feel that way after what you experienced. Sex was used against you to cause fear, control, power, humiliation... nobody would blame you for wanting to be completely sure about someone, one hundred per cent certain you trust them before even thinking of taking that step. But there are so many steps prior to any couple deciding to be intimate with each other.'

'I guess,' I whispered, not convinced I'd ever meet someone who would be ok with what I've been through. Surely most guys would run a mile?

'Have you ever been asked out on a date Kurt?' Blaine asked.

'Yeah,' I nodded.

'Were you ever tempted to say yes? Did you ever say yes and not follow through?'

'Um, I used to accept the odd phone number, but never called or text them... then a couple of years ago a guy asked to buy me a drink. I said I was waiting for someone. An hour later he came back to me and said whoever had stood me up was a fool and gave me his business card. He was really good looking and seemed quite sweet... after about three sleepless nights and constant anxiety... I sent him a text. We chatted for about a week, as he was out of town. Then he asked me out on a date... I didn't turn up...'

'How did you feel?'

'Pathetic. Completely and utterly pathetic. I was on the brink of doing something really stupid.'

'But you didn't?'

'No.'

'What do you think stopped you?'

'I don't know,' I answered truthfully.

'What made you fail to turn up for the date? What were you worried about?'

'Everything... from engaging in small talk, to... the end of date kiss.'

'Relationships take time to build. You shouldn't constantly be thinking ahead, take baby steps. One thing at a time. One day at a time. Nobody learns to drive a car in one lesson. Nobody qualifies as a Doctor after one lecture. It really is about pacing yourself to what you feel most comfortable with. You don't have to kiss somebody on a first date, but on the other hand, in the moment, you might surprise yourself and find you actually want to.'

'The whole idea just still really freaks me out... I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable enough to go on a date with anyone.'

'If you learn to not allow those thoughts to consume your mind, you'll have more control and be able to concentrate on the positives.'

'I hope so,' I laughed. 'I think it would be a miracle though.'

'Well I hope you prove yourself wrong,' Blaine smiled.

* * *

><p>I looked at the clock on my wall; we were supposed to be leaving about now to go to the restaurant. I took a deep breath and got up from my bed. I turned my laptop off and grabbed my phone before running down the stairs. Carole was standing in the hallway ready to leave, wearing a red dress. She gave me a warm smile.<p>

'You look gorgeous Carole,' I said and gave her a quick hug.

'So do you honey,' Carole replied. 'I really love those boots you're wearing.'

'Thanks,' I smiled. 'I found them at the back of my wardrobe.'

'Well Kip is running late so he'll meet us at the restaurant.'

'Typical,' I laughed.

I had very mixed feelings about Kip. I mean, don't get me wrong, I didn't dislike him, in fact he was an amazing guy and I adored him. He came to our house halfway through my junior year at high school, so not long before... well you know. Back then, he was just an annoying fourteen year old who was supposed to only be with us a few weeks at the most under a court order for foster care. But he ended up staying and only moved out once he started his degree at Columbus in sports science three years ago. Dad and Carole were the only parents he'd ever really had, but we weren't that close as brothers, although he spent a long time trying with me.

I feel guilty that I didn't contribute more; it would have been a chance to have a proper younger brother and a close sibling bond. I guess I was way too preoccupied loathing myself and my life to really bother caring about another person. But he's grown up to be a great young man and really sees us as his true family which is nice. Things had improved lately, he still came over for dinner and stayed some weekends and I wasn't so inclined to shut myself away all the time.

My Dad appeared in the hallway, all dressed and ready. He looked me over and then turned to Carole, handing her his car keys. 'Could you give us a minute?' he asked her. _Uh oh_.

'Of course.'

Carole walked out of the house. When the door closed behind her Dad turned to me. I felt nervous, what was he going to say? That I should change? That I looked stupid? That I was being selfish and ruining Carole's night?

'Kurt, I just want to say... I don't know if it's the meds you're taking, or that doctor... or a combination of the two, but I'm real proud of you the past few weeks. It's like I'm seeing my son again for the first time in years. I love you kid.'

'Thanks Dad,' I whispered, swallowing a lump that had formed in my throat and hugging him. I hadn't been expecting him to say anything like that. 'I love you too.'

We let each other go, both trying to pretend we weren't on the brink of tears. 'So, are you ready to go?'

'Yeah,' I replied. 'But one thing, you could have told Carole how nice she looked.'

'Didn't I?' Dad frowned and I laughed.

'No, you just chucked her the car keys and told her to leave.'

'Oh yeah. Do you think it's too late?'

'Of course not, now come on I'm starving.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

Mark and I were out for dinner. Neither of us could be bothered to cook when we got in from work so we decided to pay an overdue visit to our favourite Italian restaurant. We'd had our starters and were working our way through the main course. I had spaghetti and Mark had the lasagna.

'This is yummy; it really puts microwave meals to shame. '

'Well you could cook instead,' I laughed.

'Yeah but that takes so much effort and clearing up.'

'True. It's nice to come out for a change though, rather than eating side by side on the sofa.'

'It's modern living,' Mark shrugged. 'Anyway, my Mom's been on the phone again about going up for a weekend. We really need to sort out dates Blaine.'

'Of course, it'll be good to see your Mom again,' I said and took a sip of my red wine.

'Well she loves you; she thinks you're a perfect gentleman.'

I smiled. 'Aww, does that mean she thinks you're not? Am I the son she wished she had?'

Mark laughed. 'Very funny. So how about next weekend, I was thinking Friday to Sunday? The weather forecast is looking pretty good at the moment, we could have a barbecue.'

'Let me check.'

I took my Blackberry out of my pocket and scrolled through my diary. 'Well the next two Friday's I have clients in the late afternoon, but the Friday following that I'm completely clear so I could get my PA to block that day out.'

'Three weeks?' Mark shouted loudly, making me jump. I glanced around and a few people from nearby tables had turned to look at us.

'There's no need to shout,' I said quietly.

'_Three_ bloody weeks, are you serious?'

'I'm sorry, I can't just drop things. I need a bit of notice.'

'Just cancel a few appointments Blaine, it's no big deal.'

'You know I don't like that doing that.'

'I don't care, it's not like I'm asking you to do it every fucking week.'

'Sorry, but I'm not prepared to go back on pre-arranged appointments.'

'So you're choosing work over you own boyfriend?'

'Don't be ridiculous,' I sighed. I couldn't believe we were doing this in the middle of a restaurant. 'You know that's not the case. How about we go Saturday morning instead?'

'It's an eight hour drive Blaine, we can't do that two days running.'

'I'll pay for flights then.'

'No Blaine,' Mark snapped. 'Just cancel your "clients" on Friday or fucking call in sick.'

'Mark, you need to calm down.'

'Don't tell me to calm down Blaine. I don't understand what the big deal is taking _one_ afternoon off work.'

'And I will in three weeks time if you insist on us driving there. We could even see if there are flights on the Friday eve-'

'You're unbelievable. I really can't believe you're doing this.'

Was I imagining things? How could someone get so worked up about a weekend trip that hadn't even been mentioned until two minutes ago. 'Let's talk about this rationally.'

Mark's eyes flashed with anger. 'I'm not one of your fucking attention whores.'

Mark picked up his glass of wine and drained the contents before standing up from the table. He shook his head at me and laughed without any trace of humour. Then he walked a few steps towards the door leading out onto the street, but turned around to look at me again.

'You know what? I don't even know why I'm surprised. I mean, where am I on your list of priorities? Second? Third? Fourth? Do I even make the top ten?'

I just wanted to die of embarrassment. Seriously, I would happily be put out of my misery right now. The noise in the restaurant had slowly disappeared to pretty much nothing as everyone turned to see what the commotion was. I stood up and rushed over to him.

'You're making a scene,' I whispered.

'Too right I'm making a goddamn scene,' Mark replied, not bothering to lower his voice even though I was right in front of him.

'Please come and sit back down,' I begged quietly.

'No, I've had enough Blaine. You care more about your bloody job then you do our relationship. We're finished.'

Mark turned away from me and stormed out of the restaurant. I felt myself blushing so much, heat was radiating off my skin. I looked around and realised the whole restaurant was staring at me. It wasn't until I turned to walk back to my table, intent on paying the bill and getting the hell out of there, that I caught his eye. Kurt. _Shit_. He was sitting at a table with his Dad and a woman I assumed must be his step Mom. He was giving me a curious stare, as though he'd never really looked at me properly before.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Is that... oh my god is that Dr Anderson?' I heard Dad say as I held Blaine's gaze. He looked as though I'd punched him in the face or something. Then he looked away and rushed back to his table. My heart was thumping, what the hell had just happened here? So Blaine was gay too? I don't know why, but that piece of information made me feel all warm inside. But I felt so bad for what he had just gone through with his boyfriend. Despite whatever had occurred between Blaine and the arsehole that walked out, he didn't deserve being humiliated in front of the whole restaurant like that. Blaine seemed far too nice to do anything horrible to another person.

'Yeah it is,' I answered my Dad. He had a good memory, having only seen Blaine once when I went for my first appointment.

'Poor guy,' Carole said sympathetically.

'I'll be back in a minute,' I said to them both as I stood up. It just didn't feel right not doing anything, and maybe seeing a somewhat familiar face may even be a comfort to Blaine.

'Kurt, I don't think he wants to be bothered,' Dad warned me but I chose to ignore his advice. When I reached Blaine's table he was counting out dollar bills.

'Er... hi,' I said and Blaine's head snapped up to look at me.

'Kurt, hey,' he replied with a small smile. 'How are you?'

'Yeah good... how about you?'

Blaine let out a humourless laugh. 'Well, I've been better. I really can't apologise enough about what just happened. I feel so embarrassed.'

'It's ok.'

'No it's not, you shouldn't have witnessed that… _nobody_ should have witnessed that.'

'Don't worry, we've all got problems,' I said, shoving my hands into my pockets.

'Yeah,' Blaine sighed. He placed the final bill on the table and then stood up, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair. 'Enjoy the rest of your evening Kurt.'

'Thanks.'

Blaine started to walk off but then he turned around and looked at me. 'Oh and Kurt? Well done, you look really great.'

He shot me one last smile before making a swift exit out of the restaurant, running his hand anxiously through his hair as he went, which was quite a feat considering all the gel he used.


	4. Chapter 4

_~KURT'S POV~_

I returned to Dad and Carole, who quickly finished a whispered conversation as I resumed my seat. 'What did you say to him?' my Dad asked with an accusing tone.

'Nothing,' I replied. 'He apologised though. He was really embarrassed.'

'I'm not surprised,' Carole said. 'Regardless of what goes on in a relationship, there's no need to air it to an entire room full of people.'

'Did you er… know that he was gay?' Dad asked carefully.

'No of course not,' I told him defensively. 'I don't know anything about him apart from what he does for a living.'

'Should it matter that he's gay?' Carole asked my Dad.

'No of course not,' he shrugged. 'But if it makes Kurt feel uncomfortable at all, then we can always ask for a new doctor.'

'It doesn't make me uncomfortable,' I said quickly. 'If anything, it's good to know he hasn't been judging me on my sexuality.'

'Oh there's Kip,' Carole smiled, standing up and waving them over to our table. All of a sudden I was not feeling very hungry anymore. My gorgeous twenty eight year old doctor was gay, just like me.

* * *

><p>'Earth to Kurt.'<p>

Huh? What? I jumped out of my skin and the trance I had been in was thoroughly broken. It was morning and I was sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast; my Dad was sat opposite me waving his hand and smirking a little at having scared me.

'Sorry, I was just thinking,' I told him by way of explanation.

'Oh... what about? You looked like you were on another planet.'

'N-nothing much,' I replied, looking away from him and down into my coffee which was still a little too hot to drink. I'd actually been thinking about a conversation I had in therapy the previous week with Blaine. A conversation we had about my Dad.

* * *

><p>'Kurt, I'd like to talk to you about the possibility of you telling your father you were raped.'<p>

My head snapped up from where I'd been absently staring at the carpet and I looked, open mouthed at Blaine. Was he completely crazy or something? I shook my head. 'No... I can't.'

'Why do you feel you can't tell him?'

'I... I just can't,' I snapped.

'What are you afraid of? Upsetting him?'

'Of course I don't want to upset him, there's no reason whatsoever to burden him with something like that.'

'But he's your father Kurt,' Blaine reasoned.

'I know, but... I don't...'

'Don't what?'

'I don't want to... I don't know; give him a reason to why I'm the way I am. Not knowing is far better than the reality.'

'Ok... Kurt, you've tried to end your life twice. Do you think it doesn't constantly play on your Dad's mind the reason why? What drove you to such desperate measures? Whether there was anything he could have done something to prevent it?'

Well he had a point there I suppose. 'I guess... I've never really thought about it.'

'Are you up for a bit of role-play?' Blaine smiled.

'Do we have to?' I asked, rolling my eyes.

'Of course not, but I wouldn't suggest it unless I thought it would be beneficial for you.'

'Ok, fine. But you're _way_ too fond of role-play.'

Blaine laughed and moved my file from his lap to an empty chair. 'I am a bit. Feel free to comment about it on the feedback form.'

At the end of my sessions Blaine would give me a feedback form so I could express any concerns I felt unable to bring up one to one. But there was no way I would ever criticise him or his methods. I'm sure some people did but Blaine was just beyond lovely.

'Right Kurt, I'll ask you the question and whatever words you want to use, there's no right or wrong way of answering. Whatever feels comfortable for you ok?'

'Yeah,' I mumbled.

'Here we go... so Kurt, is there something you want to tell me?'

'Um...' I took a deep breath and broke the eye contact with Blaine, looking down into my lap. I could feel the anxiety suddenly gripping me. I ran a hand through my hair. 'This is stupid.'

'Why is it stupid Kurt?'

'It just is,' I shouted, surprising myself. I didn't mean to shout at Blaine but I couldn't help it. 'I'm ashamed of myself enough; I don't need my Dad being ashamed of me too.'

The room fell silent. I couldn't work out what Blaine was thinking, but he picked up his notes and stared down at them for a moment before speaking again. 'You really think your Dad would be ashamed of you?'

'Probably,' I whispered.

'Would you be ashamed if someone you loved and cared about confided in you that they were raped?'

'No,' I replied quietly.

'So why does that not apply to you as well then?'

'It just wouldn't.'

'You have a foster brother right? How would you feel if he told you he'd been raped? Would you be ashamed of him?'

'N-no.'

'How would you feel?'

'I... I would... be angry... concerned for him I guess.'

'Would you think any less of him as a person and as a brother?'

'No.'

'What would you say to him?' Blaine asked as he wrote something down in my notes and then looked at me attentively. How was he so good at this?

'Er... I'd say that I was... sorry for what happened to him... and... and if he needed me, I'd be there.'

Blaine smiled at me, seemingly pleased with my answer. 'It's always a good idea to try and see things from a different perspective. Put yourself in the advice role. What would you say to someone else in the same situation? People are far better than giving advice than taking it.'

'Why is that?' I asked, genuinely interested.

Blaine pondered the question for a moment before answering. 'I guess because the majority of us care more about others than ourselves. A mother or father wouldn't think twice about running back into a burning building if told their child was still in there. They wouldn't care about their own welfare as long as the other person is ok.'

'Humans are really complicated,' I said.

'They sure are,' Blaine laughed. 'We can fly to the moon and talk to somebody on the phone thousands of miles away, but we don't fully understand the human brain.'

'Well it keeps you in a job,' I replied.

'Yeah lucky me,' Blaine smiled. 'So, how about we go back to practicing you telling your father?'

'Um...' I faltered, my pulse rising.

'It's only you and I here Kurt. What's there to be afraid of? It's only words. A few seconds. It's normal to feel scared and nervous. I'm not suggesting you leave here and go and do it right away. It's entirely up you when and if you choose to tell him.'

I nodded my consent, even though I had a horrible sick feeling in my stomach. But it would be a useful exercise, I knew that. Blaine moved my file from his lap and put it on the floor, wanting to give me his full attention again. He leaned forwards a little in his chair, his hands clasped together on his knees.

'Kurt, is there something you want to tell me?'

Again I couldn't look at Blaine whilst I spoke. This time I chose to stare at his shoes. 'Yeah I... there's something I need to tell you... something I should have told you seven years ago... the first time I tried to end my life... it wasn't because of bullying, I mean yeah that was part of it, but... the main reason was because... because I was... was raped.'

I let out a sigh and slowly raised my eyes to meet Blaine's as my pulse began to lessen a bit. Ok so he wasn't laughing at me, or smirking, that was something at least. My palms were all clammy and I just wanted to get to a bathroom so I could wash them.

'That was really good Kurt. Am I right in thinking you've had that memorised for a while?'

How on earth did he guess that? 'Yeah, pretty much since it happened. Well, just the amount of time has changed... one year... two years... and so on.'

'So a part of you has always wanted to tell him?'

'I guess,' I conceded.

'How did it feel relaying that speech to me?' Blaine asked.

'Not as bad as I thought it would be... relieved in a way.'

'Kurt, you don't have to tell your Dad. It's entirely up to you. But I think it would be a positive step for both of you. Of course it's going to be heart-breaking for your father to hear but he would be pleased you told him, and I think you would be too. It would be a new start of facing up to your past and leaving it there to concentrate on the future.'

The thought of telling my Dad what happened made me feel so incredibly nauseous and anxious. But I knew it would be a step in the right direction of getting my life sorted out. He seemed so happy at the moment though, he was pleased with my progress and Carole's cancer being in remission. Did I really want to ruin all that? Now was not the time, but I would tell him... eventually... probably... maybe.

* * *

><p>'Are you working today?' Dad asked me as he buttered a piece of toast.<p>

'Yeah, but only the afternoon classes. You really shouldn't use so much butter Dad.'

'That's more like it,' Dad laughed.

'What?' I frowned.

'You. Lecturing me on my eating habits. It's been a while, that's all.'

'Oh,' I smiled.

'Anyway it's the low fat stuff Carole gets. She doesn't get any of the good stuff.'

'The "good stuff" you like is what's bad for you, hence why we don't let you do the shopping.'

Dad sighed. 'Yeah don't I know it.'

'Kurt? Phone call,' Carole shouted from the hallway.

'Coming,' I shouted back. I stood up and walked out to her, taking the phone and placing it to my ear. 'Hello?'

'Kurt? Hi, it's Blaine Anderson here. Are you ok to talk at the moment?'

Oh my God. Panic was setting in, what on earth was Blaine doing calling me at home? I was pretty certain I hadn't missed an appointment; I was sure it was tomorrow... wasn't it? Maybe I'd got it wrong and missed it?

'Hi Dr Anderson, yeah sure I'm ok to talk... um, I thought my appointment wasn't until tomorrow.'

'It is, but that's not the reason I'm calling.'

'Right.'

Then it clicked, the drama that occurred at the restaurant a few nights ago. That must be what the call was about. Was Blaine going to ask me to keep quiet about it? Maybe he was in the closet at work and was worried I might say something? Although to whom I had no idea.

'How are you? Did you have a good weekend?'

'Yeah it was ok,' I replied.

'Good. Um... I spoke to my superior about what happened at the restaurant Thursday evening, and we both agreed that it would be unprofessional of me to continue being your psychologist.'

'Oh,' I replied, feeling my stomach sink. I really wasn't expecting that, but I guess I could see the logic behind it.

'I'm really sorry Kurt; I know it's not ideal to disrupt your treatment.'

'It's ok, I understand.'

'You've made brilliant progress Kurt, I'm really proud of the work we've done. I'll be transferring you to my colleague Dr Winter, the appointment date and time will be staying the same. She's a fantastic Psychologist and has a lot more experience than I have. We're giving you an extra session as well so you'll have a bit of time to adjust to the change.'

'Do I... have to start all over again?' I asked.

'No, no... I'll have a meeting with Dr Winter before she's due to see you tomorrow and go over everything. Have you got any questions?'

'No, just... thanks for all your help.'

'You're more than welcome Kurt, and I really hope you continue to improve. You'll be glad to get out of my role plays at least.'

I laughed. 'That's one thing I suppose.'

'Great, well take care Kurt, and again I'm really sorry about this.'

'That's ok. Bye.'

I put the phone down and let out a huge sigh. So that was that then, I was never going to see Blaine again, unless I bumped into him at one of my appointments. Not that I had a reason to see him. I didn't. I guess I was just going to miss his warm smile and his adorable laugh. Ok, ok, so I had a _tiny_ crush on him. Not that it mattered.

'Is everything ok honey?' Carole asked me as I walked back into the kitchen.

'Yeah, fine,' I replied with a fake smile.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I put the phone down after speaking to Kurt and just stared ahead for a few moments. To be honest, it pissed me right off that I had to hand Kurt's treatment over to someone else. Not due to any financial reason, but because I hated breaking his progress up. I hated having to give up on someone. But I'd made the right choice and just hoped Kurt wouldn't have to suffer too much from the upheaval. I checked my own phone for the first time since leaving home this morning to find a bunch of texts and missed calls from Mark.

_Why have you changed the locks?_

_I can't get into the apartment! You need to get here asap__._

_Blaine!_

_Answer your god damn phone. I'm waiting here._

_WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU CHANGED THE LOCKS? ANSWER ME.__WHEN ARE YOU GETTING HERE?_

_1) You moved out yesterday - hence the lock change. 2) Why are you trying to get back into my apartment? 3) I'm at WORK therefore I won't be back home for another 6+ hours. 4) Stop calling me please. Blaine._

I turned my phone off and put it on my desk before sighing and putting my head in my hands. It had been a shitty few days. After the incident in the restaurant I went home where I was subjected to more shouting by Mark. I let him rant and rave at me, my mind already made up that there was no going back and I certainly wasn't going to try and persuade him to stay. So I just let him have his moment and even offered to help him pack his things up. That seemed to annoy him even more and he called me an arsehole for not trying to beg for his forgiveness. Forgiveness for what right?

But anyway, he's gone now and if the idiot left something behind he'll just have to come by at a time that's convenient for me. I didn't have a client booked for another thirty minutes so I picked up my desk phone and decided to call my brother.

'Hey Blainey, how's my favourite baby brother?'

'Hi Coop, yeah I'm fine. How are you?'

'Great as always. Are you sure you're fine? You don't sound it.'

'Well it's been a stressful few days.'

'What's happened?' he asked.

'Mark and I broke up.'

'Oh right.'

'You don't sound too surprised.'

'Sorry,' Cooper laughed. 'It's just... I don't think anyone saw you guys as loves young dream, no offence.'

'None taken,' I replied. I couldn't exactly argue with that statement.

'Are you ok though?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you telling me the truth?'

'Yes, I'm actually glad we've broken up, it's been a long time coming really. It's just all the headache that goes with it.'

'Aww, did Mark call you horrible names?' Cooper teased and I laughed.

'Yeah something like that. Anyway, cheer me up and tell me what you've been up to.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

As it turned out, Dr Winter was really nice. But obviously not as nice as Blaine. I'd had four sessions with Blaine and then three sessions with Dr Winter. At the last one we discussed whether to continue and she recommended I see how things go for a few weeks and if things didn't improve, or got worse, then I could rethink my treatment plan. But she was confident I was on the right track. I agreed, I was in a much better place and I always had the security of the therapy to fall back on if things didn't go well.

And no I didn't get to see Blaine again. Sad face.

Since starting my anti-depressants and having therapy I had made little changes in my life. Well I called them little; Blaine and Dr Winter thought they were huge. But they were probably just being polite and trying to make me feel good about myself.

I was being a little bolder with my outfits. Although not when I went out drinking at the gay bar, I didn't want to draw more attention to myself. I wasn't really ready for that yet. Although when I got back from that dinner where Blaine had a row with his ex(?) boyfriend, I threw out every hoodie, tracksuit bottoms and baggy jeans I had. Boy had that felt good.

I joined Facebook. I know, where have I been right? Through Rachel's friends list I'd managed to add everyone I used to go to McKinley with. Quinn, Artie, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Sam... etc... etc... I was actually enjoying the banter on there and would spend at least an hour a night chatting to someone. I'd only stayed in contact with Rachel and Mercedes after High School, so it felt nice to 'socialise' with other people, even if it was just via the internet.

I was spending more time with my Dad and Carole, not just shutting myself away in my room like I'd always done. I also cut down on the amount I would drink when I went out. Usually I wanted to get out of my head on booze and then stagger home. Now I was only going to have $20 on me and when that ran out I just went home.

So here I was at the gay bar again. It was three weeks now since my last session with Dr Winter and although things were far from brilliant, they were better. To celebrate my Facebook presence Rachel and Artie had begun to organise a glee club reunion. Everyone was on board, it was just down to where and working around people's diaries. The thought of seeing them all again made me feel incredibly nervous, but there was also a part of me that was excited. That wouldn't have been the case three months ago. I'd just paid for my second cocktail of the night when a guy walked up to the bar, waiting to be served. He looked about thirty five but was good looking and definitely kept himself in shape.

'Two white wines,' he told the bartender and then he looked sideways and caught my eye. He smiled. I smiled back, feeling my cheeks turn warm. 'Hi, I'm Greg.'

'Kurt,' I replied.

'You're really cute Kurt.'

'Oh... thanks,' I laughed nervously. Oh shit and now I was blushing like an idiot, great.

'Are you here on your own?' Greg asked, leaning towards me slightly.

Right, well this was a big test. Do I lie as I usually do and say I'm waiting for someone and piss on all the therapy and progress I was making? Or do I take the chance and let myself be free from all the negativity in my head? But run the risk of being an anxious wreck?

'Yeah, just... relaxing after a week of work.' Oh my God did I just say that?

'Can I buy you a drink?' Greg smiled.

'I'm fine thanks,' I smiled, lifting up my glass which was still full.

'That'll be twelve sixty.'

Greg turned back to the bartender and paid for his drinks before looking at me again. 'I'd ask you to join me, but I have to get back to my friend... he's having boyfriend trouble.'

'Well you shouldn't keep him waiting then,' I teased.

'Believe me Kurt; it's _very_ tempting to leave him waiting.'

'Right,' I laughed. Holy shit was I flirting?

'But how about you give me your number so I can call you sometime and ask you out on a proper date?'

'Oh, um... ok,' I replied, surprising myself. Greg handed me his iPhone so I could tap in my number, which I did and then handed it back.

'Speak to you soon Kurt,' he smiled, picking up the wine glasses.

'Sure.'

He walked off back to his friend and I looked down into my drink, swirling the straw round and round. Ok so my heart was beating like mad, but that had been... nice.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'I haven't been here for years,' I said to Simon as we walked into The Loop. It was a gay venue, consisting of various bars on different floors. There was a nightclub on the top floor, but that wasn't really my thing. I much preferred somewhere I could hear myself think. So we made our way to the quietest bar on the second floor.

'That's because you've become a bore Blaine,' Simon replied.

'Oh thanks.'

'Don't deny it. All you do is work and sleep.'

'Well, I'm single now... maybe things are about to change.'

'Good,' Simon laughed, hitting me on the back. We got a table and Simon went to get the drinks, coming back with two beers. It was a mere ten seconds until the inevitable conversation started.

'So when did Mark move all his stuff out?' Simon asked.

'A few weeks ago,' I replied. 'Literally a few days after the restaurant thing.'

'Oh god, I wish I'd seen it,' Simon smiled. 'I bet it was epic.'

'Well I'm glad my embarrassment in front of a hundred people amuses you so much.'

'You'll laugh about it one day Blaine. Anyway, you don't seem too bothered about the break up.'

'To be honest, I'm kind of relieved. Things hadn't been good for nearly a year. It was only a matter of time before one of us walked.'

'That bad huh?' he asked and I nodded. 'So... did you ever love him?'

'I guess so,' I shrugged. 'Although I was never in love with him. At the beginning things happened pretty quickly between us. We went on a few dates, then he had to get out of his apartment so came to stay with me for a couple of days whilst he looked for somewhere else, but he just didn't leave.'

'Sounds like things worked out for the best then.'

'Yeah. Of course it was nice to have someone to come home to, I'd never had that before... but in hindsight, I was settling for anyone rather than someone.'

'Deep,' Simon laughed.

'Shut up.'

'I guess you're missing the regular sex huh?' Simon smirked and I shrugged.

'Not really no.'

'Well I couldn't go two weeks without getting a fuck. I'd be willing to allow you to use my body if you're feeling horny.'

'In your dreams,' I replied and he laughed. A few minutes later Simon went off to use the bathroom.

I was looking around the place; there was lots of talk and laughter going on. People enjoying themselves. Maybe I should go out more often. Then I did a double take at a guy sitting at the bar. It was Kurt. He was talking to an older, but rather handsome man. So this must be the bar he talked about visiting regularly. I couldn't help smiling at the scene. Kurt was clearly being chatted up, he had a shy look to him, couldn't stop smiling and giggling, and his cheeks were a little flushed.

I was glad he appeared to be enjoying himself. Dr Winter had kept me informed of his progress and we had high hopes for his future after how well he'd done in therapy. The man talking to Kurt gave him his phone, presumably to get his number. Then he walked off with two glasses and Kurt was left on his own, deep in thought.

'There's two guys dry humping each other in the bathroom,' Simon said as he sat back down again. 'Go and have a look, it's pretty hot.'

'No thanks.'

'Oh so you're a prude as well as a bore now?'

'What is with the insults? Is it stamp all over Blaine's confidence day or something?'

'Oh come on, you know I'm only teasing. You turned down the chance to jump my bones earlier, how do you think that makes me feel?'

'Whatever,' I smiled.

'Oh, check the hotty out at the bar,' Simon said, nudging my shoulder with his. 'I'm _so_ gonna tap that tonight. My target has been located.'

I rolled my eyes at him, but then I looked to see who Simon was staring at and saw that it was Kurt. I nearly choked on my beer. Simon drained his own beer and then went to stand up. Panic took over.

'Simon no,' I shouted, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.

'Hey, where's the fire Blaine?'

'I know him, so just… don't alright? Leave him alone.'

'Oh,' Simon smirked. 'A conquest? You've fucked him haven't you?'

'No, no I haven't,' I replied, feeling myself blushing. Why the hell was I blushing?

'Yeah, whatever you say,' Simon laughed. 'I wouldn't want your sloppy seconds anyway Anderson.'

'He's not... it's just complicated ok?'

But it was no use trying to reason with him, Simon looked like a kid on Christmas morning. 'Oh my God, you screwed him when you and Mark were still together didn't you?'

'I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.'

'You _so_ did. Oh this is hilarious. Prim and proper Blaine doing the dirty.'

'Shut up,' I retorted, but it was no use.

'I didn't know you had it in you Blaine,' Simon laughed and I just shook my head at him. 'You dirty little whore.'

'Anyway, tell me about this hot guy you had a fling with?' I asked, desperate for a change in conversation. Simon's face lit up.

'So, a couple of weeks ago I was at the gym and this greek guy...'


	5. Chapter 5

_~KURT'S POV~_

I finished my cocktail and reached into my pocket to find I only had $2 left. Well that signalled it was time to go home then. I left the bar area and went to use the bathroom before waiting for the elevator, which arrived eventually after a whole two minutes wait.

The doors to the elevator shut, but then they snapped opened again. Someone had obviously rushed to press the button, I hated that, why couldn't they just wait for the next one or take the stairs? But I wasn't prepared for who walked in, slightly out of breath. It was Dr Anderson.

'Sorry I'm… oh hi Kurt,' he smiled as I pressed the 'Close Doors' button.

'Hi,' I mumbled back.

I'd almost forgotten just how gorgeous he was. My heart rate increased rapidly and my stomach tied up in knots. God what was I, fourteen? He didn't seem surprised to see me. Had he already spotted me here? Had he followed me? No that was a stupid thought.

The elevator had only been moving a few seconds when it came to a juddering halt. The lights flicked off and on a few times. Blaine pressed at the buttons randomly but nothing happened so he pressed the alarm.

'Hello? Is everything ok?' a voice said.

'Yeah hi, the elevator's stuck between floor one and two.'

'Ok, we'll have you out as soon as we can.'

'Thanks,' Blaine replied and then he turned to me. 'Looks like we're stuck here for a while.'

I sighed. 'Well that's just great.'

'Are you ok?' Blaine asked, looking really concerned all of a sudden. 'Do you have an elevator phobia?'

'No I'm fine,' I smiled. He was always so damn thoughtful. What would he have done if I'd said yes? Conducted a therapy session right here in the elevator? To be honest, he probably would.

'Anyway, it's... it's good to see you Kurt, you look really well.'

'Thanks... you too. Did you come straight here from work?' I asked, gesturing to his suit.

'Yeah, it was kind of a last minute decision; otherwise I'd have brought out a change of clothes this morning.'

There was no real point in just standing there like a lemon so I sat myself on the floor, crossing my legs and leaning back against one of the four walls. Blaine did the same opposite me. He took his phone out of his pocket, looked at it and then put it back again.

'No reception,' he explained, rolling his eyes.

'Right.'

'So… how have you been Kurt?' Blaine asked, tilting his head to one side and smiling at me. Oh God, how I've missed that smile.

'If I answer you're not gonna bill me for it are you?' I replied and Blaine laughed.

'On the house,' he said.

'Yeah I'm… doing ok... getting there.'

'Good. You should be really proud of yourself Kurt.'

'Thanks.'

'I've not seen you since that dire night at the restaurant, but I just want to say again how sorry I am that I had to refer your treatment.'

'It's ok,' I replied. 'You don't need to apologise. Maybe I ended up preferring Dr Winter.'

Blaine laughed. 'Now you've insulted me.'

'So I've um... not seen you here before… n-not that I've been looking… I haven't, I just come here a lot and haven't seen you before, um… sorry I'm rambling now.'

'Ramble all you like,' Blaine smiled warmly as my cheeks flushed like a hormonal teenager with a crush. 'I used to come here quite a bit years ago, during college. But life got busy after that I guess.'

'Were you on a date or something?' I asked as innocently as I could. _Please say no, please say no._

'No, I was having a drink with an old college friend. But he ditched me for some guy that caught his eye so I took that as my cue to leave.'

'Nice friend.'

'Yeah,' Blaine laughed. 'That's the last time I accept a night out from him. So... what do you reckon? Think we'll be out of here within half an hour?'

'Um, longer I think.'

'Ok, wanna make it interesting?' Blaine smirked and I raised my eyebrows at him.

Blaine stood up and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. Oh, so a bet then. Blaine walked closer to me and then gestured to the floor beside me. 'Do you mind if I sit there?'

'No, go ahead,' I told him.

Blaine settled himself next to me, leaving his wallet lying open on his lap. I could see a whole wad of notes and suddenly felt about two feet tall. Not only was he a doctor, he was gorgeous, intelligent and loaded. Not that money was important or anything. But with all his assets Blaine could probably get just about any guy he wanted. How depressing.

'Oh, I've only got $2 on me,' I said to him, feeling stupid.

'Well $2 it is then.'

Blaine smiled at me and then went to close his wallet and as he did so a photograph caught my eye and I found myself shouting 'Wait.' Blaine looked at me curiously. 'Sorry, but can I see that photo?'

'Um... I guess so,' Blaine cringed. 'It's just an old school photo. But it holds a lot of fond memories for me.'

Blaine handed me his wallet and I looked down at the photo. It was of Blaine and three other guys, dressed in their school uniforms and beaming at the camera. Blaine looked exactly the same. There was something about the uniform that was familiar somehow, but I couldn't think where I'd seen-

'Oh my God, you went to Dalton Academy?' I exclaimed, looking sideways at Blaine.

Blaine looked completely taken aback. 'You recognise the blazer?'

'Yeah, my glee club in high school competed against The Warblers at regionals once.'

'What, you were in a glee club? How freaky, so was I.'

'Wait... you were in _The Warblers_?'

'Yeah.'

'That's insane.' Well this was just crazy. We'd both been in glee clubs at school and had we been closer in age would have competed against each other. Small world. 'You know, in my junior year I tried to sneak into Dalton, to "spy" on the competition. I didn't get far though; security found me on a staircase and threw me out.'

Blaine was laughing and I couldn't help the huge grin on my face. He was so bloody perfect, I wondered if he was single or not but then I had to remind myself that it wasn't any of my business and even if he was single, there was no chance of him ever being interested in someone like me in a million years.

'That's priceless Kurt.'

'Oh this is so weird,' I laughed. 'I can't imagine you being in a glee club... no offence.'

'None taken.' Blaine did the most adorable giggle and ran a hand through his hair, messing up his trademark look slightly. 'Not to sound egotistical but, I was actually um... the lead singer.'

Wow. So Blaine could properly sing then? I don't know why but that just made my heart swell. Oh how I would love to hear him sing, but I was way too embarrassed to ask and he'd probably say no anyway.

'Well it just goes to show that first impressions can be misleading,' I said.

'Exactly,' Blaine smiled.

'How far did you get with The Warblers?'

'We made Nationals once, but didn't win. What school did you go to?'

'McKinley High, our glee club was called New Directions.'

'Oh my God, we beat McKinley a couple of times at sectionals. That must have been before your time though; I don't remember the name New Directions.'

'Yeah it was named that the year I joined, when I was a sophomore. We must have missed each other by about a year then.'

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment. 'That's probably a good thing; if you ever saw me perform with The Warblers you'd have thought I was a complete lunatic. I had an abundance of energy, much to a lot of people's annoyance.'

'You made it to Nationals, I'm sure you must have looked great.'

'Or it was a fluke,' Blaine laughed.

'Hey, did you ever compete against Vocal Adrenalin?' I asked and Blaine nodded with a knowing glint in his eyes.

'We loathed them so much. We weren't sore losers or anything, but they were just really horrible people. They took it _way_ too seriously.'

'I know right,' I agreed with a laugh. 'There was this guy in Vocal Adrenalin who tried to seduce our female lead to sabotage our regional attempt; he even transferred to our school for a bit.'

'No way,' Blaine laughed. 'That's just ridiculous behaviour.'

'I'm sure they all look back and cringe at the memories.'

'I should hope so. Oh those were the days... did you ever make Nationals?'

'They won Nationals in my senior year,' I said quietly, looking down into my lap.

'What do you mean _they_ won?' Blaine asked.

'I didn't... um...'

'Kurt? I'm sorry, have I said something wrong?'

'No of course not,' I smiled. I was melting under Blaine's gaze, so caring and sweet and... _ohmyfuckinggodwhyishesoperfect_?

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah really... it's just I quit glee club before senior year. During the summer I decided to keep a low profile at school and just concentrate on getting the grades for college.'

'It must have been hard though, seeing your friends go off to Nationals without you.'

'I guess,' I shrugged. 'But I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to care at the time.'

'Sure, I can understand that.'

'Actually, a couple of my friends are organising a glee club reunion at the moment. I haven't seen most of them for six years.'

'That sounds fun.'

'Yeah it'll be great.'

'How do you feel about the reunion?' Blaine asked softly. 'Honestly?'

'Ok... nervous and anxious, but excited too.'

'Kurt do you remember the phrase we talked about?'

'Of course,' I laughed. 'Base decisions on what I know, _not_ how I feel.'

Blaine beamed at me. 'You're a model pupil.'

'I had the best teacher.'

'So, what do you know Kurt?'

'That they were my friends,' I smiled. 'That they're still my friends, and despite how nervous I might feel the reunion is going to be amazing and I _will_ enjoy myself.'

'You'll put me out of a job at this rate,' Blaine smiled and I laughed. Hang on, when did this turn into a therapy session?

We lapsed into a contented silence for a couple of minutes. Then I had a sudden urge to ask Blaine a question. He might tell me to mind my own business, but it was worth a try right? It's not as though there was anything else to do stuck in this small space.

'Dr Anderson, can I ask you something?'

'Blaine,' he corrected.

'Sorry... Blaine. It's a bit... personal, so you don't have to answer.'

'Go ahead,' Blaine said.

'Were you "out" at school?' I asked slowly. Blaine pondered the question for a few seconds before sighing.

'I was out. I actually transferred to Dalton because I was being bullied at my previous school.'

'Really?' I whispered, my eyes wide and Blaine nodded.

'When I came out, I was fifteen and completely naive. I didn't think it would be a big deal in the twenty first century. There was a school dance and I went with a guy in the year above and... well, some of the kids didn't take too kindly to two gay guys going to a dance together. They beat us up as we waited for a ride home.'

'Oh no, that's awful,' I said.

'I stuck it out for another month, but the verbal abuse and pushes just got worse and worse. I complained but... there was nothing much the school were prepared to do. So I begged my parents to let me transfer. I took the cowardly way out.'

_What_? Did Blaine really think that? 'That's crazy, you were protecting yourself Blaine. There's nothing cowardly about that. It's not your fault that most schools shy away from taking on the bullies.'

'I guess,' Blaine replied with a shrug. 'It's just not right that schools will take action over bullying for skin colour, or size... but not for being gay.'

'It's as though we've brought it on ourselves by "deciding" to be gay.'

'Yeah, it makes me so mad.'

'Was Dalton a good school then?'

'The best,' Blaine smiled fondly. 'Everyone was so nice and I made lifelong friends there. It's a shame the tuition is so expensive, it's the ideal school for kids who have suffered bullying.'

'C-can I ask you another question?' I asked cautiously.

'Sure.'

'How old were you when you... started dating?'

'Well...' Blaine let out a little laugh, presumably because he was remembering something from his youth. 'When I was seventeen I developed a major crush on a guy that worked in Gap. I serenaded him with The Warblers just before valentines, and he blew me off, it was _so_ embarrassing. Then in the summer before my senior year I met a guy at a theatre group I was going to. We dated for a little while until the distance became too much.'

'Do you, um... I mean... how should...' Oh God, I'd suddenly become incapable of stringing a coherent sentence together. 'So if you date a guy, um... what...'

'Kurt are you asking me for dating tips?' Blaine laughed and I joined in, grateful that the awkwardness had been broken and he knew what my gibberish was about.

'Yeah, I guess I am. I gave someone my number earlier and... he seemed really nice, but...'

'The thought of going on a date with him scares you to death?'

'Pretty much,' I sighed.

'What's the worst that could happen if you went on a date with this guy?'

'Oh God, um... awkward silences... I'll make a fool of myself... say something stupid... get too drunk... fall over... etc etc?'

'Ok, say all of that happened and then you walked away from the date never to see the guy again… does it really matter?'

'Well when you put it like that... but it doesn't take away the embarrassment in the moment.'

'But you'd get over it. People do stupid or embarrassing things all the time, but it's how you deal with it that counts… so you fall over in the street and... spill your coffee all down you... of course some people will look, some may laugh, and some may approach to see if you're ok… but then they carry on with their lives, and so do you. You get up and walk on.'

'I... I have zero experience,' I started to say, feeling myself blushing. 'I just... I don't even know how to talk to people. I spend my days in a classroom and then go home to my family.'

'Well we're talking aren't we? This isn't much different to a date... chatting, sharing, laughing, asking each other questions.'

'This is different,' I replied, shaking my head.

'How so?'

'Well for one, this is not a date; and we're not in a formal setting like a restaurant or something… I mean, how can you make a fool of yourself in an elevator?'

'Hmm, I guess. But it's good practice, talking to someone.'

'Yeah but I trust you so… I don't really feel on edge.'

'Well that's high praise,' Blaine smiled and I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

'I only speak the truth.'

'Kurt, you trust me because you know me. That's what dating someone is all about, getting to know them. You see the dry-cleaned suit, the gelled hair, the PhD… it's kind of my job to try and get people to trust me straightaway. When we first met, if I'd have been wearing a tracksuit with mad curly hair and an unshaven face, it would have given off a completely different impression.'

'I guess so,' I replied, my brain thinking it would quite like to see Blaine looking at that. So he _did_ have curly hair then. 'Is that your chosen attire on the weekends then?'

Blaine giggled and he just sounded so fucking cute. 'Me in a tracksuit? _Please_, I do conform to some gay stereotypes.'

'Oh, so you're into fashion then?'

'Well I'm not brilliant at labels and stuff, but I like nice fitting clothes and I'm a sucker for a bow tie. Been obsessed with them since I was little.'

'A bow tie?' I asked in surprise.

'Yeah, is that weird?'

Well that was giving me an incredibly adorable image. Blaine in a bow tie? Yeah I could totally see him rocking that look. He was watching me like an expectant puppy and my heart really couldn't take it. 'No not weird at all. I can imagine you looking great in a bow tie. If it's good enough for Doctor Who right?'

'Bow ties are cool,' we both said at the exact same time and then we fell about laughing.

'I love Doctor Who,' Blaine said.

'Me too,' I agreed. 'I cried like a baby when the Ponds left.'

'You weren't the only one,' Blaine smiled.

'Really? Well I'm glad I wasn't the only one. Who's been your favourite Doctor?'

'Well I really loved David Tennant, and not just for his acting if you know what I mean.'

'Oh totally,' I agreed.

'I didn't think anyone could ever live up to him when he left, but after the first episode with Matt Smith I'd definitely jumped ship.'

'Me too,' I gasped. 'I even considered not watching it anymore but thought I'd give it a chance and watch one episode and thought he was brilliant. I really love his portrayal. I just hope the new guy will be good.'

'Maybe he'll be our new favourite Doctor,' Blaine said excitedly.

* * *

><p>'Hmm, I spy with my little eye... something beginning with... c.'<p>

'Um, ceiling?' I offered and Blaine laughed.

'Yep, you're good at this.'

'Ok, my turn. I spy with my little eye something beginning with b.'

'Er... belt?' Blaine said, looking down at his own one.

'No.'

'Blaine?'

'No,' I laughed.

'Brown?'

'Brown what?'

'I don't know, just brown,' Blaine shrugged with a smirk.

'No.'

'B... b... b...' Blaine repeated quietly, looking around but then we both jumped as the elevator began to move. 'We're saved.'

'Thank god for that. '

We smiled at each other and stood up as the elevator made its way down. Blaine looked at his watch. 'Oh no, forty three minutes, you win the bet.'

Blaine dug around in his pockets and pulled out a load of coins. He handed over $4 just as the elevator doors opened on the ground floor for us to be greeted by two workmen in fluorescent orange tops.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

After an apology from the Manager and a $50 gift card each, Kurt and I walked out of the building and stopped on the side walk. Anyone seeing us might think we were just any other couple heading home, or that we'd had our first date, or we'd met in the bar and were... hang on, what the hell am I thinking? _Stop it_.

I turned to look at Kurt. 'So... what was the b then?' I asked.

'Are you giving up?' Kurt smiled and my heart skipped a beat as his eyes met mine and I stared into them. They were a brilliant blue and just so beautiful.

'Y-yep,' I stammered, feeling stupid. 'I give up.'

'It was button,' Kurt told me and he lightly touched one of the buttons on my shirt with a finger. My pulse sped up rapidly. What was going on? Why was I responding so weirdly to Kurt all of a sudden?

'Um... I think the buses have stopped running,' I said, looking away from Kurt and down at my watch, remembering he didn't having much cash on him. 'Do you need money for a cab or something?'

'Thanks, but I'm ok,' Kurt replied. 'My house is just a ten minute walk away.'

'Oh ok. Well it was really nice seeing you Kurt, I'm glad we got to talk again and that things are going well for you.'

'It was good seeing you too. Thanks for gate-crashing my elevator, otherwise I'd have been stuck in there on my own.'

'Anytime,' I smiled and then we just stared at each other for a moment.

'Um, can I borrow your phone?' Kurt asked me shyly.

'Sure,' I replied, handing over my blackberry. He pressed some buttons but instead of putting the phone to his ear to make a call as I expected he would, he gave it straight back to me.

'My number,' Kurt said quietly, not looking at me. I stared down at the entry he'd made in my phone book. 'It's probably really inappropriate seeing as you used to be my therapist, and I won't blame you for deleting it or anything… but if you ever wanted to… I don't know, talk or hang out... I don't have any friends that are gay, so… um… yeah... I'll stop talking now. Bye.'

Kurt turned and started walking off down the road. There was a huge conflict resting between my head and my heart. I knew if I stopped to analyse the situation I would most definitely talk myself out of it, so with the alcohol still swimming around my veins, I took a deep breath and pressed the call button on my phone and put it to my ear. I watched as Kurt slowed down, pulling his phone out and then answering it.

'Hello?'

'Kurt, turn around,' I said.

He turned around and looked at me with a sweet smile. 'Hey,' he said.

'Hey... I thought it was only fair that you had my number too.'

'Oh... thanks.'

'Goodnight Kurt.'

'Night Blaine.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

Ok Kurt, you can do this, so get a fucking grip. It's just a phone call, there's nothing to get worked up about. What's the worst that can happen, I get rejected? I'll get over it... eventually. But I picked my phone up and put it down about twenty times before shouting out in frustration. What the hell was the matter with me?

After ten minutes of pacing up and down and resisting the urge to just give up and go to a bar and get totally wasted, I took a few deep breaths to collect myself, internally giving myself a lecture. Then when I hit a moment of calmness I hit the call button before I could change my mind. My heart was literally trying to leap out of my chest and my head was chanting, _Don't pick up... don't pick up... don't pick up...__  
><em>  
>'Hello?'<p>

'H-hello can I speak to Mrs Parsons please?' I said, feeling incredibly nervous, but hoping I didn't sound it too much.

'Speaking.'

'Oh… hi, I'm calling in regards to the teaching position advertised in the local newspaper.'

'Oh yes, may I take your name please?'

'It's Kurt Hummel.'

'How long have you been qualified Kurt?'

'I'm twenty four and qualified two years ago.'

'Are you employed at the moment?'

'Yes, I've been working as a part-time teaching assistant, but feel it's the right time to... spread my wings as they say.'

'Which age group have you been working with?'

'Five and six year olds. I've loved every minute of it but I'm really keen for the challenge of working with nine and ten year olds.'

'How far away from the school are you?'

'A ten to fifteen minute drive. I have my own car.'

'That's really great Kurt; um... would you be able to come in for an interview next week? I'm on a course from tomorrow for a few days so I'm conducting the interviews next Thursday and Friday, would that be suitable at all?'

'Sure, I work half day on Thursday so anytime in the afternoon would be perfect thank you.'

'Ok, if you give me all your details I'll contact you with a time at the beginning of next week.'

* * *

><p>'That's really amazing,' Rachel smiled. 'Are you nervous?'<p>

It was Wednesday evening, three days until the glee reunion. Rachel was home from New York for a few days and had come over for dinner. We were on washing up duty and I'd just told her about my job interview that was happening tomorrow afternoon.

'A bit yeah,' I replied. Well that was an understatement, I was terrified. 'But I have to give it a shot; it's a chance to be a proper full time teacher with the responsibility of my own class.'

'You'll ace it, don't worry... oh I've heard back from Jesse, he's coming on Saturday, along with a few others.'

'What?' I asked, pausing the scrubbing on a rather stubborn pan. 'I thought it was a New Directions reunion?'

Rachel gave me a guilty look. 'Oh... well it started off as one... then people heard about it and... I'm sorry but I got carried away. Quite a few people are coming from McKinley and some other schools... I mean, I can change the plans if you-'

'No, no, Rachel it's fine, honestly,' I reassured her. 'It's a reunion for everyone and the more the merrier I guess. By the way, I was talking to Quinn on Facebook last night, she's bringing her husband along.'

'Cool,' Rachel smiled. 'You know, I can't believe she's having a baby.'

'Yeah, I wonder if she's still in touch with Beth?'

Rachel shrugged. 'I only speak to Shelby now and again, but we don't really talk about Beth. She must be about seven or eight now.'

We finished the washing up and then joined Dad and Carole for a coffee before Rachel had to leave. But when I got into bed that night my chat with Rachel got me thinking. Blaine had been in a glee club too, so I figured I could text him and invite him to the reunion. It wouldn't be like I was trying to get him alone or anything, I was just going to politely inform him that he would be welcome to come, if he wanted. It was no big deal right? He probably wouldn't come anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

_~KURT'S POV~_

It was three weeks since Blaine and I were stuck in that elevator. I hadn't called or text him, and neither had he. Not that I hadn't thought about doing so, I was just too nervous. I still couldn't believe how bold I'd been giving him my number, where had that madness come from? No doubt from the alcohol I'd had.

If I did contact him what would I even say? It's not as though he was a proper friend as such. What if he regretted returning the favour and giving me his number too? But I did have a "sort of" legitimate reason to contact him now.

It took almost half an hour of drafting the text until I was fully happy with it. But as soon as I sent it to Blaine, I started having doubts. What if he didn't reply? What if he did reply and told me to leave him alone?

_Hi Blaine, the glee reunion I told you about is this Saturday. My friend Rachel has gone a little crazy and invited people from other schools as well (including Vocal Adrenalin members!) So feel free to come along if you've nothing else on. There will be plenty of chances to sing if you're feeling nostalgic :) Kurt._

I laid awake, staring up at my bedroom ceiling. Had Blaine received the text yet? Maybe he was already asleep and wouldn't see it until the morn- I jumped when my phone started ringing. I picked it up to see the words _Blaine Anderson Calling_. Oh God, what if he was ringing to politely but firmly tell me not to contact him ever again? Ok, deep breath Kurt.

'Blaine?' I answered.

'Kurt, hi. I just got your text... I didn't wake you did I?'

'No, I'm still up... I only sent the text a couple of minutes ago,' I replied, smiling to myself as I listened to his dreamy voice which I'd longed to hear over the last three weeks.

'Oh right,' Blaine laughed. 'Sorry I've just got out of the shower, I should have looked at the time on the text.'

Wait a minute, he'd _just_ got out of the shower? Did that mean he was currently... oh god, and now mental images were coming... _think about Dad and Carole kissing_. Eww, just no.

'That's ok,' I said in a slightly squeaky voice.

'So your reunion, um, it sounds really great and I don't have any plans this weekend... Kurt?... Kurt?'

I couldn't help it, I was back to fantasising... Blaine completely naked, drips of water falling from his hair down his muscled and toned back and-

'_Kurt_?'

I jumped again and for a moment was disappointed at being pulled away from my thoughts, but quickly gathered myself together. 'Um, sorry Blaine, the line went funny then. What did you say?'

'The reunion sounds like a great idea.'

'Really? You'll come?' I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. 'I know I didn't give you much notice or anything.'

'I'd love to; I haven't got any other plans this weekend. Would it be awfully cheeky of me if I tried to round up a few ex Warblers too?'

'Yeah of course you can.'

'We'll bring a few bottles of booze to add to the drinks.'

'Oh you don't have to do that, but we wouldn't say no.'

'Thanks, hey could you text me all the details?'

'Sure, I'll talk to Rachel tomorrow and get back to you.'

'Great, I'll see you on Saturday then,' Blaine said cheerfully.

'Yeah see you then.'

'Take care Kurt.'

* * *

><p>I got into my car, closed the door and let out a long sigh as I rested my head on the steering wheel. <em>Breathe<em> Kurt, breathe. It was over, you didn't make a fool of yourself, and the World didn't come to an end! After a couple of minutes I lifted my head up and looked at my phone to find a text from my Dad. _HopE tHE interview wenT well kid. DAD_. I smiled; he was getting better at texting.

Now the interview was over with, I had more brain space to fret about the reunion. I was feeling really tense to be honest. In two days, not only would I be seeing Blaine again, but all the New Directions gang. Although the night was supposed to be about reconnecting with my old school friends, all I could really focus on, since our phone conversation, was the thought of Blaine.

To be honest my crush on Blaine had grown tenfold. I know it was stupid, I know it was just a fantasy, but I couldn't help myself thinking about him. He was just so damn nice to me. Of course when we first met he was being paid to be nice, and he was the only person at the tine who knew all about my past. But I felt a connection, it was just a shame that connection was completely one sided.

Later that evening I was sorting out laundry in my room. Carole was out with a friend so it was just me and Dad in the house. I went downstairs to get a drink and found my Dad sitting at the kitchen table, tucking into a lasagne Carole had pre-prepared before leaving.

'Hey Dad.'

'Hey, did you get my text today?' Dad asked me.

'Yeah, I did reply,' I smiled.

'Oh... I think I might need another lesson in texting.'

'Sure, but let me teach you this time, not Kip.'

'Ok,' Dad laughed. 'So did the interview go well?'

'It wasn't bad, better than I imagined anyway.'

'Well that's good, do you think you're in with a chance of getting the job?'

I shrugged. 'I don't know, maybe. It depends on how many people the called in. On paper I think I'm just as good as anyone else but I guess it'll come down to who Mrs Parson's liked best. I don't think I'm any good in interview settings so I might not have come across as very personable.'

'Don't put yourself down Kurt; I'm sure you came across just fine. She's probably interviewed hundreds of people in her time; she must know most people are going to be nervous.'

'Yeah well, let's wait and see.'

'Um, Kurt? Could you sit down for a minute?'

'Sure,' I replied, pulling a chair out and feeling a bit apprehensive as Dad looked kind of serious all of a sudden. 'Is something wrong?'

'No, no everything's fine… I was just wondering… how are you?'

'Yeah I'm good,' I shrugged.

'It's just... I can't help but be worried about you Kurt.'

'Why?' I whispered, feeling myself start to panic. Had I done something I shouldn't have?

'Ok, let me lay it all out on the table... not so long ago I dragged you along to that doctor after you tried to... well anyway, you seem so much happier now, you're wearing your old clothes, planning to see your friends again, you're not drinking so much, you're looking for a full time teaching job. Don't get me wrong, I'm really proud of you but I don't know... is everything going to come crashing down again? I mean... just because someone appears better, does it actually mean they are? I know you don't like to Kurt, but talk to me, please. Tell me what's really going on with you. Should I be worried?'

Wow. I swallowed several times, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. My eyes were filling with tears. Oh God, that time had come. I wasn't prepared, I was stone cold sober, I hadn't spent hours building up the courage to do it, yet here it was and there was no going back.

'Dad... I'm doing fine, really. But there's something I...'

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them I looked my Dad in the eyes and felt a wave of dread. 'I've... I've rehearsed telling you this for years, but...'

'Telling me what?' Dad whispered.

'Ok, um... the thing is...'

'Kurt, what is it?' Dad asked me, his eyes wide and concerned now.

'Dad, when I was seventeen, somebody...' I shut my eyes tightly, ignoring the loud thumping of my heart. Come on Kurt, you can do it. It's only words; your Dad deserves to know the truth. Be brave. Have courage. I opened my eyes slowly. 'I was r-raped.'

Silence. I could hear the whirring of the refrigerator, I'd never realised how loud it was before. My Dad looked frozen in time, completely shocked. I wasn't entirely sure he'd even processed what I'd said yet, so I decided to continue.

'I... I never-'

'Oh my God, Kurt-' my Dad gasped, finally finding his voice again.

'Please, let me finish,' I said over my Dad. His eyes were huge and the colour had completely drained from his face. I felt awful. 'I never told anyone about it... not until that first appointment with Dr Anderson, and... ok, things in my life aren't great. I've never had a boyfriend and the thought of having one is really scary for me. Since it happened... I kind of lost touch with the world, just existing and getting by. But I'm trying, I really am and I want to thank you Dad, so much for dragging me to that clinic.'

Dad stood up; there were tears in his eyes. 'Kurt, come here and g-give your old man a hug.'

With lightning speed, I got up and rushed forwards into my Dad's outstretched arms and he hugged me tightly. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. This was exactly what I needed, seven years ago. Why was I so stupid keeping my mouth shut and letting _him_ destroy my life over and over again?

'I'm so sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.'

'D-don't... don't feel guilty,' I pleaded. 'I couldn't bear it.'

'You should have told me,' Dad said. 'You should have told somebody.'

'I know that now,' I replied. 'I'm sorry... I just couldn't… but I really wish I had.'

After a couple of minutes Dad pulled away and held me at arm's length, looking at me seriously. 'Kurt, I want you to have the life you deserve. I want you to be with... I just want you to be happy. I want to attend your wedding to the man you love and I want to be there when you bring my first grandchild home.'

I laughed and smiled at my Dad. 'I want all that too Dad, I just don't know if... if...'

'Do you want some more sessions? They worked really well at getting you feeling better about yourself, maybe they can help you to... to have the life you should have been having the past few years, the life that was stolen from you.'

'Yeah I've been thinking about that and would like to have more,' I replied. 'Perhaps a Specialist, you know?'

'Of course, anything. I'll do some research, or maybe we can contact Dr Anderson? I'm sure he could recommend a colleague or something?'

'I really don't think that's necessary. Haven't you heard of google?'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I smiled down at my phone as I reread Kurt's text, giving me all the details for Saturday. I was really looking forward to it, granted it wasn't my reunion, but being in the school glee club had been some of the best times of my life. Mark had been right to an extent; I did overlook him a lot for work. I should loosen up a bit and have more fun now and again, but I couldn't have done that with Mark, because I always knew he wasn't the one.

The phone on my desk started ringing and I snatched it up. 'Yep?'

'Hi Dr Anderson, I've got Burt Hummel on the line, he'd like to discuss a former client with you?'

'Er... yeah sure, put him through,' I said quickly, sitting up straighter in my chair, my pulse rising. Oh God I hope Kurt was ok. I heard the click. 'Mr Hummel, how can I help?'

'Dr Anderson, thanks for taking the call. You saw my son Kurt for a few sessions and... well I wondered if I could pick your brains about something?'

'Oh course, go ahead.'

'I wanted to know if you could recommend another therapist for Kurt... not that you didn't help him, you did and I can't thank you enough, it's just... we had a bit of a talk and he told me... well I guess I'm asking if you know any therapists that specialise in... rape victims...'

So Kurt had told his Dad? I was really pleased he'd gone through with it, I knew it was another important step in Kurt getting his life back. I wondered if Mr Hummel was aware we'd seen each other a few weeks ago and that I was going to Kurt's glee reunion. I guessed probably not. But I couldn't let this get personal; I had to put my 'doctor' hat on.

'Mr Hummel, I'm unable to confirm or deny any discussions Kurt and I may have had during his treatment.'

'Of course, I understand that. But could you possibly just humour me and help a guy out?'

'Sure, I can certainly give you a couple of names of highly respected professionals specialising in treating rape victims.'

'Thank you very much, that would be great.'

* * *

><p>'Oh my god, this is <em>so<em> cool,' Wes laughed as we walked towards the venue entrance from my car. 'Gate crashing someone else's reunion.'

'We were invited,' I reminded him. 'And we're bringing booze.'

'We should arrange our own one,' Jeff said. 'I don't know why we've never thought of it before.'

'Probably because most of us still see each other quite a bit,' I replied.

'You're gonna sing right?' Wes asked me.

'Oh I don't know about that.'

'We'll just get him drunk Wes,' Jeff said quietly.

'I heard that... and I'm driving remember?'

We walked in and saw a hand written sign saying GLEE REUNION with an arrow pointing down a corridor. We kept walking and as we got nearer to the door, voices and music got louder and louder.

We went into the large hall, it was full of people and there was a stage with a band. Two guys were up there singing. We wandered over to the drinks table to deposit what we'd brought along and just as I was wondering how long it would take to find Kurt in the crowd I saw him approaching us, looking a little apprehensive.

'Hi,' he smiled. 'I'm glad you could make it.'

'Thanks so much for inviting us.'

'You're welcome.'

'So this is Wes, and this is Jeff. The others were really keen on the idea but couldn't make it with the lack of notice.'

'My boyfriend Nick is in LA this weekend, he was a Warbler too,' Jeff told Kurt.

Kurt shook hands with both Wes and Jeff and I could see he was a feeling a little uncomfortable, but what mattered was that he was here and a few months ago that would never have happened. I felt so proud of him.

'Oh, so you've been with your boyfriend since school then?' Kurt asked Jeff.

'Yeah pretty much. We broke up for three months in our second year of college, we thought we were being "mature" and letting each other free but it ended up being the most miserable time for both of us. He surprised me on Valentine's day with-'

'I don't think Kurt wants to hear your entire life history right now,' I interrupted with a laugh. I didn't think Kurt would be too happy hearing about a loved up gay couple over and over again.

'Rude,' Jeff said with a roll of his eyes.

'So how do you know each other?' Wes asked, looking between Kurt and I. 'Ex-lovers? _Current_ lovers?' he smirked.

'Oh no,' Kurt blushed. 'I er... we know each other through work.'

Kurt glanced over at me; he seemed to want approval for what he'd just told Wes. I nodded and smiled at him. 'Who are the guys up there singing?' I asked.

'Mike and Puck,' Kurt replied. 'Rachel is organising all the performances if you want to sing… you can't miss her she's carrying around a big clipboard and has a sticker with her name on it attached to her dress.'

'Oh I'm sure these two will want to contribute,' I smiled, pointing to Wes and Jeff.

'Blainey you've got to sing man,' Wes said in a whiny voice. 'I've bet David fifty dollars you would.'

I shook my head at him and looked back at Kurt. 'Sorry about my friends, they're weird.'

'Let's go and dance,' Jeff said excitedly when a very upbeat number started. He ran off into the crowd.

'I'll catch you later then?' I said to Kurt as Wes started to drag me away in the same direction as Jeff.

'Yeah, um have fun,' Kurt shouted out.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I picked up a glass of white wine from the table and as I turned back towards the crowd I spotted Sam walking through, looking a little lost. He caught my eye and smiled in relief at seeing someone he knew. Then he hurried over.

'Hey Kurt,' Sam said when he reached me. 'My cab got caught in traffic.'

'Hi, it's so good to see you,' I replied and we had a quick hug. 'How have you been?'

'Great,' Sam said as he got himself a beer from the table and took a much needed sip. 'So where is everyone? I thought this was supposed to be a New Directions thing?'

'Rachel got a bit carried away,' I laughed.

'You can say that again… for a moment I thought I'd walked into the wrong place.'

'She's pretty much invited the whole school, plus other schools.'

'So where are the glee gang?'

'Well, Puck and Mike are on the stage…the other guys are around somewhere and the girls were all here a few minutes ago, but they've gone off to prepare for a group performance they're doing. Rachel's over there with Jesse.'

'Cool. So um... was it a shock when you found I'd joined your club?'

I laughed. 'Well it's a big club, but yeah I was pretty surprised when Rachel and Mercedes both text a few years ago to say you'd come out on facebook.'

'I was a bit of a late developer wasn't I?'

'Just a bit.'

'I fell madly in love with a guy I was working with on a modelling contract when I was nineteen, and that was it, the thought of girls was just icky from then on.'

'I came to that conclusion when I was about five.'

Sam laughed and took another sip of his beer. 'Lucky you.'

'So did you have any feelings or confusion before then?' I asked. It seemed alien to me that it could take that long to realise you were only attracted to men. If being gay was part of your genes, how can you not know and date girls?

'Well yeah, I... I tended to get really close to guys, friendship wise, but I just told myself it was nothing more and that I admired them for their talent or intellect etc. Being on the football team I had girls literally throwing themselves at me so I just went with it really.'

'You pretty much dated every girl in glee club,' I said and we both laughed.

'Yeah, that's a pretty cool record,' Sam smiled. 'But they all ended up dumping me so maybe they knew something I didn't. So what are you doing with yourself these days?'

'Well I qualified as a teacher and at the moment I'm a teaching assistant. I still live with Dad and Carole as well.'

'Teaching sounds fun. You know, I always thought you would have run off to broadway with Rachel as soon as school finished.'

'No, well it was just childhood dream you know? I wanted to keep it as a fun hobby. What have you been up to?'

'Well I'm still doing the modelling, catalogues mostly but sometimes I get to travel around the country for local fashion shows.'

'Wow, that must be a lot of fun.'

'It can be. It attracts a lot of girls but that's no use to me now.'

I laughed. 'Well that's a shame, but you must get quite a few guys admiring you.'

'A couple,' Sam winked. 'Talking of guys, have you got someone special in your life?'

'N-no I haven't,' I replied, feeling nervous now.

'Really? I'd have thought you'd have a whole line of guys wanting to date you.'

I shrugged. 'Yeah well... so how about you? Do you have a boyfriend?'

'I was seeing a guy for two years, but we broke up a month ago. We got together through lust and things just went sour.'

'Oh I'm sorry,' I said and Sam smiled at me.

'Well that's life. Hey, who's that guy over there?'

'What guy?' I asked.

'The guy who's just started talking to Rachel.'

I looked over to where Rachel was and my stomach sank as I saw exactly who she was talking to. 'Oh, that's Blaine. He was in The Warblers.'

'The glee club from that private school?'

'Yeah them,' I replied, wondering if Sam was thinking about getting to _know_ Blaine better.

'Hmm... I don't remember him. Anyway, how's your Dad doing?'

'He's really well,' I told him, glad he didn't question me further as to why Blaine was here. 'How are your family?'

'Great.'

I was aware that Puck and Mike had stopped singing, and sure enough a few seconds later they came running over to us, greeting Sam with pats on the back and lots of 'Dude, how you been?' etc.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I'd only known this Rachel girl for five minutes and already I wasn't too keen on her. I'd seen enough fragile and vulnerable clients in my career so far to have little time for those who appeared too self-absorbed.

'…so I went to New York of course and studied at NYADA. I auditioned for just about _everything_ but my ideal role was Funny Girl. My Dad's paid for me to stay in this gorgeous apartment and…'

I zoned out, not really listening to her, but nodding and smiling instead. I couldn't help chancing a glance over to Kurt, who was standing with a blonde guy, who in my personal opinion had a bit of a gay vibe coming off of him. I felt a sudden rush of hatred towards him, what the hell was that all about? Another few minutes past and Rachel was still talking.

'…so I was working at this diner, not because I needed the money but…'

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Kurt standing beside me. 'Excuse me Rachel, sorry to interrupt, but I really need to have a word with Blaine.'

'Ok… but you still haven't told me what song you're going to sing Kurt.'

'Rachel, I don't really want to-'

'No excuses, I'll give you twenty minutes to decide.'

'Great,' Kurt sighed.

'Is everything ok?' I asked Kurt as soon as Rachel walked off and was out of ear shot.

'It's fine, I just figured you'd probably want saving by now. She can be a little intense if you're meeting her for the first time.'

'Oh,' I smiled. 'Thank you. Yeah, she's um... something else.'

'Are you having fun?'

'I am yes, thanks so much for the invite. Wes and Jeff have reverted back to adolescent boys but I guess that was to be expected.'

'Aren't you drinking?' Kurt asked me, pointing to the can of diet coke in my hand.

'No, someone's got to drive the kids home. Who was the guy you were talking to? An old school friend?'

'Yeah, Sam,' Kurt replied.

'Is he um... is he gay?'

'He is yeah. He wasn't out at school though, he was just telling me he finally realised when he was nineteen.'

'Well he seems... nice,' I said to Kurt and there was a flash of something in his eyes. Had I overstepped the mark?

'I can introduce you if you want?' Kurt offered, sounding strained. Huh? So he thought I wanted him to set Sam up with me?

'Oh no, I wasn't implying I wanted to… I don't. Sorry, I should have made myself clearer. I meant maybe _you_ thought he was nice.'

Kurt laughed. 'Oh, no. I doubt Sam would be interested in me and he's just told me he's not long out of a relationship. Anyway, he's not really my type.'

'You have a type?' I smirked.

'I... I guess,' Kurt blushed. 'Don't... don't you have a type?'

'Not really… I have more of a non-type, if you know what I mean.'

'Things that don't attract you?'

'Yeah, like... shaved heads... millions of tattoos... a secret wife.'

Kurt giggled and I couldn't help thinking how cute he sounded. When I had first met him, he seemed so lifeless and angry with the world, yet here he was a few months later enjoying himself and looking happy. There was one thing I had to achieve tonight; because deep down I knew he wanted to do it and I knew he would love it… I was going to get Kurt to sing.


	7. Chapter 7

_~KURT'S POV~_

'It's a boy,' Quinn said in answer to Sam's question. For the first time tonight, we were all in the same place and not separated into little groups. It was strange seeing everyone from New Directions together again. Nobody had changed that much, just different hairstyles and a few more laughter lines.

As the Reunion had got a lot bigger than the original plan, tomorrow we were all meeting up at Mike and Tina's house for Sunday lunch where we could catch up properly. It also meant none of us had to feel too bad about hanging out with other people tonight.

'Have you chosen a name for him yet?' Tina asked as Quinn rubbed her bump fondly.

'We've got in down to three that we both like, so we're going to wait until he's born to decide.'

'I think you look great Quinn, really glowing,' Rachel gushed.

'Thanks Rachel.'

'Tina and I are thinking about starting a family soon,' Mike said proudly. Quinn, Mercedes and Brittany all awwed, whereas Puck and Artie looked ill just at the mere thought of it.

'Kids are not cool,' Puck said to nobody in particular. 'I mean, once the baby pops out the chick has excess fat, stretch marks, bags under her eyes-'

'Do you mind?' Quinn asked, half laughing and half joking.

'Puck you are such a pig,' Santana told him.

'I'm keeping it real,' Puck reasoned. 'Come on Sam; let's get back to the dancing.'

Puck and Sam went back to the dance floor and Quinn turned to Santana. 'Is he ever going to grow up?'

'He might have a point,' Santana told her. 'You sure your husband won't stray once you've got baby body?'

'Of course he wouldn't, we love each other and-'

'So Kurt, you got a boyfriend?'

I stopped eavesdropping and looked sideways to see who had spoken to me. It was Artie. I smiled at him. 'No I haven't... have you? Sorry, I mean… have you got a girlfriend?'

'I'm engaged to a girl named Sarah. We met at a support group a couple of years ago.'

'Wow, that's great. Congratulations.'

'Thanks. When you meet the one you just know right?'

'Yeah, I… I guess you do. Do you two live together?'

Artie smiled. 'Not yet, we want to do everything traditionally. I know that seems a bit weird in this day and age.'

'Not at all, I think it's lovely. Far too many people get divorced these days, if they just took things a little slower at the start to work out whether they were right for each other, we wouldn't need so many lawyers.'

Artie laughed. 'Too right. Are you hoping to legally get married one day?'

'I really hope so,' I replied. 'My Dad has already booked a front row seat.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I left the bathroom and as I was making my way back to the hall I saw Kurt come out and head towards the exit. I thought about leaving him to it and minding my own business, but then I found myself following him outside the building. Kurt sat himself down on a bench and put his head in his hands.

My heart ached for him. He was clearly struggling with something. I debated once again whether to back off or not but I couldn't just walk away, and not only because I used to be his psychologist.

'Hey,' I said quietly, cautious not to startle him. Kurt's head snapped up to look at me and he looked embarrassed for a moment.

'Blaine... sorry I didn't know you were out here.'

'I wasn't,' I replied, sitting down on the bench next to him. 'I saw you leaving and I wanted to know if you were ok.'

'I'm fine,' Kurt said unconvincingly. 'Just getting some fresh air.'

'Come on... what's up?'

'It… it's nothing,' Kurt shrugged. 'I don't want to keep you from having fun, you go inside, I'll be back in a minute.'

'I'll sit here all night if I have to Kurt,' I said and folded my arms across me chest to show I meant business.

'You're ridiculous, you do know that right?'

'Yep,' I replied with a smile.

'Ok,' Kurt laughed.

'So what's eating you?'

'It's just... this week has been a bit overwhelming that's all.'

Kurt looked at me with tired eyes. I could see the strain in them. Regardless of whether he was enjoying himself tonight, I knew it had been a big effort for him to even just be here, to see his old school friends, and to be sociable.

'Talk to me about it,' I said softly.

'Blaine, I don't want to bore you with my-'

'Kurt, I insist,' I interrupted and he rolled his eyes at me playfully.

'Well, I had an interview on Thursday for a teaching job... a proper one.'

'That's... that's amazing Kurt.'

'I don't think I'll get it,' he said sadly, picking bits of fluff off his trousers.

'Even if you don't that's a brilliant achievement and I'm sure there's positives you can take away and use for the future. It's still good practice. How did you feel prior to the interview?'

'Nervous, sick, really under prepared... not good.'

'And after?'

Kurt smiled a little, looking proud of himself which was nice to see. 'I felt... ok. It went a lot better than I thought it would and I didn't get stuck on any questions.'

'Well there you go then.'

'I um... I also told my Dad... about what happened to me.'

Kurt looked away, as though if he kept looking he'd expect to find a pitiful gaze staring back at him. I'd noticed this a lot in our sessions too, Kurt wouldn't look me in the eye at any mention of his past.

'I know,' I said and Kurt returned his attentions back to me, looking confused. 'He called me at work.'

'Oh... I'm so sorry, I told him not to bother you.'

'I was happy to help,' I reassured him. 'I was glad to hear you'd confided in him. If you don't mind me asking, how did it go?'

'Um...' Kurt began nervously. 'Ok. I'm relieved he knows, it's... it's something I should have done a long time ago. We chatted for an hour after and... yeah it was just what we needed. There's no secrets or unknowns between us now. It's like a clean slate.'

'You've had an emotional week Kurt. Don't beat yourself up if it gets too much. It's only natural.'

'And just now someone asked me about my "love life" and it's like the fifteenth time I've been asked tonight and... I know I've made progress and that I'm doing things I would have avoided like the plague a few months ago, but... I mean I'm not ungrateful, it's just...'

'Can I say something?' I asked when Kurt's train of thought came to an end. He nodded.

'Ok... you're right, you have made progress Kurt and you should be so proud of yourself for how far you've come. But the root of everything you've been through comes back to one thing… relationships... romantic relationships. I think it's great you're looking for a specialist therapist to talk to and it will help with really specific areas Kurt, it really will. We both know that your past will be a weight on your shoulder until you meet someone and start a life together.'

Kurt was nodding at me. I could see tears in his eyes now. 'You know, when you put it like that I seem like such a bitch-'

'Kurt, don't-'

'-with all the people suffering in the world and I'm hung up over the fact I've never been kissed... oh god I'm so fucking pathetic.'

Kurt began to cry proper tears now. He wiped his eyes on his sleeves and muttered 'Sorry,' clearly embarrassed. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him and Kurt leaned into the comfort and sobbed into my chest. We stayed like that for several minutes, Kurt's tears gradually fading until his breathing returned to normal. I looked down to see his eyes closed and wondered if he'd fallen asleep, but then he spoke very quietly.

'Blaine, I'm so sorry... it isn't fair of me to dump all this-'

'Kurt, listen to me. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't comfort you when you were upset?'

'Friend?' Kurt asked, opening his beautiful blue eyes and looking up at me. My stomach fluttered pleasantly and my pulse sped up at an alarming rate. _Oh fuck_.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Yeah of course,' Blaine laughed, sounding nervous. 'You don't get stuck in an elevator with someone and not class them as a friend.'

'I guess,' I replied. I sat up, removing myself from Blaine's embrace somewhat reluctantly. He had been so warm and smelled gorgeous. I hope I hadn't made him feel uncomfortable, although he was the one that pulled me into a hug. _He was just comforting you Kurt, don't make a big deal out of it.__  
><em>  
>'You must think I'm really stup-'<p>

'Hey Kurt, stop that,' Blaine shouted over me, looking at me seriously. 'I don't think you're stupid or… pathetic or anything else you think you are. Nobody does. I think you're brave and strong.'

'Well I don't feel it. You remember I gave my number to a guy that night at The Loop? He left me a couple of messages and I just… I couldn't call back.'

Blaine thought for a moment before responding, 'There will be a day when you can call back… that you _do_ call back. Someday you're going to meet an amazing guy Kurt and… it won't even occur to you not to contact him, because everything in you will be desperate to.'

'Are you talking from personal experience?' I asked quietly and Blaine chuckled adorably. _Oh God_.

'Yes and no. But Kurt, one day you'll be sitting on the sofa next to the love of your life and the path that took you there, however screwed up, will make perfect sense. So many people jump into relationships for little reason, if they just held back a bit they probably wouldn't have to go through so many frogs before finding their prince.'

Wow, that was practically poetic. Blaine really did have an amazing way with words. 'That sounds perfect. Here's hoping it will come true.'

'It will,' Blaine smiled. 'Do you want to go back in? We can stay out here if you want, I really don't mind.'

'No it's ok; I'm ready to go back in. Thanks for being there.'

'No problem.'

We stood up and went back inside. As we walked towards the hall together, Santana was coming out and spotted us. She came over, stopping in front of Blaine and fluttering her eyelashes at him. Blaine looked alarmed and glanced over at me for help.

'Hey, wanna get it on?' Santana whispered.

'Er, Santana, we're not teenagers anymore,' I said to her.

'So?'

'And you're a lesbian.'

'Shut it Hummel,' Santana retorted with a sigh.

'Well I'm flattered, but I live with someone,' Blaine said, smiling at Santana kindly.

My heart stopped beating for a moment. Blaine was seeing someone? He was _living_ with someone? Had he got back together with his ex? It seemed a bit quick to have a new boyfriend and be living together. But what did I know, maybe that's how things worked these days.

'Oh well, I was just testing to see if I still had it,' Santana said and then she walked off. Blaine laughed.

'So... are you back with that guy from the restaurant?' I asked, trying my best to sound casual.

'Mark? Oh no, that's... that's old news.'

'Oh right... so you're living with a new boyfriend then?'

'No,' Blaine frowned. So had he lied to Santana? My heart lifted at the thought.

'But you just said to Santana you lived with someone.'

'Oh, that... well technically I do. His name is Joey; he has gorgeous brown eyes, four legs and a tail.'

'A dog?' I laughed.

'Yeah. A colleague of mine, her dog had puppies recently and when I saw them I just couldn't resist, I've always wanted a puppy.'

'Puppies grow Blaine,' I smirked.

'Hey stop ruining it.'

We were smiling at each other as we got back into the hall. Tina and Mercedes were singing on stage and everyone was having a really good time. Blaine's friend Wes came running over to us, draping his arm over Blaine's shoulder and looking a little worse for wear.

'Having a good time?' Blaine asked as he removed Wes from himself and stood him up.

'Yes Blainey Boy.'

'Wes, you're twenty eight not sixteen, can you quit calling me Blainey Boy?'

'No can do doc. Hey Jeff's got some hilarious texts from David, he's on the dance floor somewhere.'

'Do you mind?' Blaine smiled at me.

'Of course not, go have fun.'

Blaine went off in search of his friend Jeff, leaving me standing with Wes, who turned to me with a curious stare. 'Hello Kirk.'

'Kurt,' I corrected.

'Kirk, yes.'

'Oookay. Hello Wiz.'

'Whose Wiz?'

'Never mind. Are you enjoying yourself?'

'I'm fucking beside myself Kirky, this party is awesome.'

'Well reunion.'

'So... are you Blaine's new boyfriend?'

'You kind of asked me that earlier,' I told him.

'Did I? Oh... so are you?'

'No, we're just friends.'

'Friends, right. But you are gay?'

'Um, yeah.'

'Is Blaine not your type then?' Wes smirked.

'What?' I gasped. 'I... I um...'

'You're blushing, he's _so_ your type. Do you want me to have a word with him? He can be a bit clueless you know, he wouldn't even notice if he was on fire.'

'God, no, please don't say anything to him,' I begged but Wes winked at me and ran off. _Fuck_. That was all I needed, Blaine being told I was crushing on him.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'…Ok… ok I'll talk to you next week… bye.'

I handed Jeff's phone back to him as he asked, 'What did David say?'

'He was talking about arranging an official Warblers get together. I said I'd call him next week.'

'Cool, I wonder if Dalton would let us hire one of the common rooms or something.'

'That's a good idea, I'll call and ask them,' I replied. 'Hey Jeff, what songs do you think are good for two guys to sing together?'

'A duet?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, are you thinking upbeat or emotional?' he asked.

'Emotional.' I said.

'Hmm… what's that song Elton John and George Michael sang together?'

'Don't let the sun go down on me.'

'Yeah that one.'

'You know that's a pretty good idea,' I smiled.

'So shall I put our names down for it?'

'Oh sorry Jeff, I wasn't thinking of singing it with you.'

'You wound me Doctor Anderson,' Jeff said, pretending to cry and I laughed at him. Then Wes appeared beside us, looking very pleased with himself.

'What have you done Wesley?' I asked.

'Nothing. But you do know that Kirk loves you?' Wes said, slurring his words a little.

'Um… A it's Kurt, B he doesn't, and C you're drunk.'

'And D he wants your dick.'

'Do you have to be so crude?' I sighed.

'What, so you don't even like him a little bit?'

'I didn't say I didn't like him. We're friends. You know, single gay guys can be friends without there being an underlining romantic notion to it.'

'Bullshit,' Jeff laughed. 'I saw the way you two looked at each other earlier, you were practically eye fucking.'

'Oh please, and what about Simon? He's gay and single yet you never tease me about him.'

'Oh come on,' Jeff laughed. 'Simon hasn't been single since he was fifteen, and he's usually got two or three on the go.'

'Just admit it Blaine,' Wes smiled at me. 'You want to get into Kirk's pants.'

'Jesus, why am I still friends with you two?' I asked them, rolling my eyes up to the heavens.

'Because nobody else will have you,' Jeff replied with a smirk, reaching a hand up to my hair and messing up my perfectly gelled and styled curls. 'Loosen up a bit Blaine, have some fun… go and fuck Kirk on the trunk of your car or something.'

'Yeah not inside, we have to sit there,' Wes added,

'Look, can you both just stop with the Kurt teasing please? I'm being serious.'

'Alright, alright,' Jeff said, holding his hands up in surrender, but then he turned to Wes. 'There's definitely history between those two.'

'My guess is that Kirk dumped him after a one night stand,' Wes replied whilst nodding. 'Blaine's performance probably wasn't-'

I walked off, not wanting to hear anymore. I headed over to the drinks table to get a beer. Yes I was driving, but one wasn't going to hurt was it? I picked up a bottle and took a few sips, then managed to avoid being stuck talking to Rachel again by hiding behind a pillar as she walked past.

I watched the two girls singing on stage, they were really good. They were joined by another girl and a guy who did some pretty impressive dance moves around them. I spotted Kurt getting a drink further along the table and went to join him.

'Hey.'

'Hi again,' he smiled at me and then raised his eyebrows at the beer in my hand.

'Oh I thought I'd just have the one.'

'You could always get a cab if you want to drink more.'

'No I'm ok. Anyway my so called friends are already half way to being completely legless and someone needs to get them home.'

'Um, Blaine... your friend Wes said-'

'Oh God, just ignore him Kurt. I'm so sorry if he made you feel uncomfortable by saying anything inappropriate. Take no notice of him, I don't.'

We watched the performances for a little while. A pregnant girl and the blonde guy I saw Kurt talking to earlier were singing together now. Kurt was swaying slightly to the beat of the music.

'I'm glad our glee club lives never crossed,' I said. 'The Warblers would never have got through to Nationals with you lot to beat.'

Kurt turned to me and laughed. I heard myself just sighing happily at the sight of him, and then thanked god for the singing masking the sound from Kurt. What was wrong with me? Was this one beer going straight to my head?

'I'm sure you would have given us a good run for our money,' Kurt replied kindly.

'Maybe... so, have you put your name down for a song?' I asked and felt bad when Kurt's smile faded away to be replaced by a look of sadness.

'No. Rachel can nag me all she wants but I'm not doing it, no way. I haven't sung since...'

'Since you were seventeen?' I asked quietly and Kurt nodded. 'Well what if you didn't have to sing alone?'

'Oh no, I'm not singing a duet with Rachel. Has she put you up to this?'

'No nothing like that. Why would the duet have to be with Rachel?'

'Well it was always Rachel I sang duets with at school. None of the guys wanted to... my singing voice is kind of... high you know?'

'Kurt... sing with me.'

'_What_?' he gasped, his eyes growing wide with fear.

'Sing with me. Let's do a duet together.'

'Have you lost your mind? Are you sure that's your first beer?'

'Hey, I'm thinking perfectly straight,' I said and Kurt smirked. 'Anyway, why not? Look, I haven't sung for years either. It'll be a whole lot easier if we did this together.'

'Blaine I-'

'Please,' I begged. 'You'll be doing me a huge favour; I don't think I've got the courage to get up there on my own.'

'I don't think I can.'

'What's the worst that can happen?'

'I'll embarrass myself,' Kurt replied. 'I'll make a complete and utter fool of myself.'

'Well at least you wouldn't be alone... we can be fools together.'

'Yeah right, you'll probably be Mr Perfect up there.'

'Oh come on Kurt, please.'

'Are you going to drop this at any point?' Kurt asked me with an amused smile.

'No, and I reckon my nagging skills are even more annoying than Rachel's.'

'That's not possible.'

'Do you wanna try me?'

Kurt laughed and looked conflicted for a moment before answering. 'Ok. What song did you have in mind?'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

Kurt looked at the glass of champagne in his hand, studying it as though it was a fascinating artifact or something. Then, completely bypassing the sipping part he downed the whole lot in one go, depositing the empty glass on a nearby ledge and wiping his mouth. As I'd already had a drink tonight and was driving I'd declined a pre performance drink for dutch courage.

'Are you ready?' I asked Kurt.

We were standing behind the curtain, waiting to go on stage and sing our duet. I was feeling nervous myself so I could only imagine what was going through Kurt's mind right now. He was staring at the floor, with wide eyes, and biting the nails on his right hand. He didn't look up to me, but I heard him whisper, 'No.'

'It's just three minutes Kurt,' I said, trying to make him feel better. It was really hard to see him like this but I knew the outcome would justify the anxiety. 'Three minutes and it'll all be over... you can go back to getting absolutely legless with your friends and forget about it.'

Kurt chuckled softly and I was glad I managed to get that kind of reaction from him, reaffirming my belief once again that this was exactly what Kurt needed and I was doing the right thing. Kurt lifted his head to look at me now; I could see the look of panic in his eyes.

'I know,' he answered. 'What's three minutes? It's nothing. It's...'

'Are you feeling ok Ku-'

'Oh God... Blaine I feel sick, I can't do this, I can't, I just can't-'

'Hey, breath,' I said calmly. 'Close your eyes and take a few slow deep breaths.'

Kurt closed his eyes and started to breathe deeply, becoming calmer with every passing second. I placed a hand lightly on his shoulder; he tensed slightly at first but then relaxed. I heard footsteps approaching and Kurt's eyes opened. Rachel was walking towards us, clipboard in hand.

'Ok guys, they're ready for you.'

'Thanks,' I smiled.

'Oh and just remember, don't milk it up there we're on a tight schedule.'

'Sure,' I replied and then turned back to face Kurt as Rachel left.

'Kurt, look at me ok? Don't look at them, just sing to me and I'll sing to you.'

'Ok,' Kurt nodded.

'Right, let's do this.'

I took hold of his hand and led him out onto the stage. I heard him mutter 'Fuck,' when nearly all eyes in the hall turned to us. I gave his hand a little squeeze of encouragement. He squeezed back. Then I lifted up my microphone and smiled to the audience.

'Hi I'm Blaine and this is Kurt. We're going to sing you a song and it's not a dance number, so you may want to find the nearest person to you and start swaying... this is Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me.'

I let go of Kurt's hand and we turned to face each other. I smiled and Kurt smiled back at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly with nervous energy. I had no intention of looking anywhere but into his eyes for the entire song. The music started and I began.

Blaine:  
><em>'I can't light... no more of your... darkness.<em>_  
><em>_All my pictures seem to fade to black and white.'_

Kurt:  
><em>'I'm growing tired... and time stands still before me.<em>_  
><em>_Frozen here... on the ladder of my life.'_

Blaine:  
><em>'It's much too late... to save myself from falling.<em>_  
><em>_I took a chance... and changed your way of life.'_

Kurt:  
><em>'But you misread... my meaning when I met you.<em>_  
><em>_Closed the door... and left me blinded by the light.'_

Blaine and Kurt:  
><em>'Don't let the sun go down on me yeah... although I search myself it's always someone else I see... I'd just allow a fragment of your life... to wander free oh oh... but losing everything it's like the sun going down on me.'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'I can't find... oh the right romantic line.<em>_  
><em>_But see me once... and see the way I feel.'_

Kurt:  
><em>'Don't discard me-'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'-Baby no-'<em>

Kurt:  
><em>'-Just because you think of me and you harm-'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'-Just because you think of me and you harm no-'<em>

Kurt:  
><em>'But these cuts I have-'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'-Cuts I have-'<em>

Kurt:  
><em>'-They need love-'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'-They need love.'<em>

Blaine and Kurt:  
><em>'To help them heal.<em>_  
><em>_Oh... don't let the sun go down on me... although I search myself it's always someone else I see... I'd just allow a fragment of your life... to wander free oh... cos losing everything it's like the sun going down on me.'_

Blaine:  
><em>'Don't let the sun... go down on me.'<em>

Kurt:  
><em>'Although I search myself it's always someone else that I see yeah.'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'I'd just allow a fragment of your life.'<em>

Kurt:  
><em>'To wonder... free baby oh.'<em>

Blaine:  
><em>'Cos losing everything.'<em>

Blaine and Kurt:  
><em>'It's like the sun... going down... on me.'<em>


	8. Chapter 8

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

We lowered our microphones and the place erupted into cheers, claps and whistles. I walked forwards and took Kurt's hand again, I could feel him shaking. We took a bow and then hurried to the back of the stage and through the curtains out of sight. Our hands came apart and Kurt leaned back against the wall and ran his hands through his hair and shouted 'Oh my God.'

'That was good huh?' I laughed and Kurt beamed at me, his face alive and his eyes shining.

'Just... I mean, wow I didn't realise you would be such a great singer Blaine.'

'Thanks. You gave me goose pimples, your voice is stunning Kurt.'

'Y-you really think so?' he asked shyly.

'Yes.'

'Thanks Blaine,' he blushed. 'That really means a lot.'

'I can't believe you haven't sung since you were seventeen.'

'I know, it's been a long time... oh that was _so_ amazing. Thank you so much for making me do-'

In one fluid movement I leaned forwards, rested a hand lightly on Kurt's neck, closed my eyes and pressed my lips softly to his. For a few moments I just stayed like that, savouring the feel of Kurt's mouth against mine. _Wow_. When I pulled back and slowly opened my eyes, my hand still resting on his neck, Kurt was looking at me in complete shock, unblinking. He touched his lips with his fingers and swallowed thickly.

I don't know why I did it; I think it was safe to say I wasn't thinking at all. But in that moment, with the adrenalin pumping and Kurt looking so alive, happy and angelic, I just couldn't help myself. Suddenly the sensible part of my brain caught up with my emotions and I felt a chill go through my body. Shit, what on earth had I done? I took my hand away from his neck quickly, as though I'd been burned or electrocuted.

'Fuck, I'm so sorry Kurt, oh god I don't know what-'

'Blaine shut up,' Kurt pleaded, his voice breaking. There were tears in his eyes and I felt like such a cruel bastard for what I'd done. What the hell was the matter with me?

'Y-you kissed me,' he whispered.

'Yeah, I'm really-'

'Why?'

'Because… because I wanted to, I'm sorry I-'

'Could you do it again?'

Well that silenced me. Of all the things I expected Kurt to say, that was not one of them. He was looking at me with apprehension, but now I could see there was also longing in his eyes. Desire.

'Um... what?' I muttered stupidly.

Kurt moved forwards slightly, closing the gap between us. 'Kiss me again,' he said with determination, his watery eyes fixed on mine, wanting, needing. His hands cupped my face and I let my own eyes flutter closed, letting this happen. There was no way I could back out of it now. My lips found Kurt's again and my hands landed on his hips, gripping on lightly.

The kiss was fiery and passionate, I could hear Kurt's quiet moans as we tasted one other, lips moving against each other as though we'd been doing this for years. I wanted so desperately to push my tongue into his mouth, but I didn't dare. I wanted Kurt to dictate the boundaries, anyone else and I'd have them pinned up against the wall by now.

Eventually we pulled away from each other, breathing deeply and I rested my forehead against Kurt's. I opened my eyes and looked at his full lips, slightly parted and swollen from our kiss. I was painfully hard beneath my jeans and cursed myself for it.

'Oh my god,' Kurt whispered, his eyes still closed and a smile playing at his lips.

Oh fuck.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Oh my God,' I whispered, Blaine's head resting against mine. My first kiss. My _first_ kiss. Holy fucking cow, Blaine had felt so good and fuck, he smelled gorgeous and... but this was Blaine... no, Dr Anderson, who knew all my secrets, who knew all about my horrible past. He used to be my bloody therapist for christ sake. The high from the performance and the kiss had started to dwindle and my brain was becoming sober once again. Panic, anxiety and doubt was rising up through me at an alarming rate.

It was too much. Everything was too much. The job interview, confiding in my Dad, the reunion and now this? All that was going through my head now was, _It was a pity kiss... you told Blaine you'd never been kissed... he was taking pity on you... he feels sorry for you...__  
><em>  
>Without another word I started running. I heard Blaine start to follow me, shouting, 'Kurt... Kurt wait... please stop.' But I didn't stop; I kept on running and eventually managed to shake him off once outside the building and down the street. When I was sure I was alone I sat down on the sidewalk and put my head in my hands.<p>

The tears were rolling down my cheeks as I tried to work out what on earth I should do, but the level of alcohol swimming in my veins was making it difficult. My phone started ringing and I didn't have to look at it to know who it would be. I let it ring out and then a minute later a text arrived.

_I'm worried about you, please let me know you're ok. Blaine._

Typical therapist talk. He was 'worried' about me. Did he think he was somehow 'curing' me by giving me my first kiss? Didn't he realise I was falling in love with him, and despite how amazing that kiss was, everything was ten times worse now and I looked like a stupid fool?

I had two options, call my Dad to pick me up and go home to cry into my pillow for the rest of the night, or go back to the party and try to ignore Blaine.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I walked back into the hall. There was no point trailing the streets, I'd never find Kurt in a million years and there was always the possibility of him coming back. I wandered around looking for Wes and Jeff, but eventually they spotted me first because I saw them running over, looking cheerful and drunk.

'Hey Blainey Boy,' Wes shouted as he and Jeff came to a stop in front of me. 'So are you still going to deny that there's something between you and Kirk?'

'Oh not this again,' I sighed.

'Because what went down on that stage was _not_ nothing,' Jeff added. 'I _almost_ found you attractive Blainers.'

'That's not good,' Wes told him.

'I know,' Jeff replied. 'It's made me feel a bit queasy to be honest, and Nick will be _so_ disappointed.'

Oh God, had they seen Kurt and I kissing behind the curtains? 'What are you two talking about?' I whispered, my heart racing.

'Well you were eye fucking him through the entire song dude,' Wes explained as though I were a two year old.

'Can you two just stop with the eye fucking comments?' I groaned impatiently.

'We will... when you stop doing it,' Wes retorted. 'Blainey Boy, we get it. You want Kirk but he's not interested. Get over it. Stop singing songs to him, you know from past experiences that doesn't work for you.'

'Wes is right Doc, move on. There must be some other gay arse you can tap here. Do you want us to make some enquiries?'

Jesus, I was getting a headache. I'd forgotten how juvenile a lot of my Dalton friends could be with a few drinks down their neck. 'No and your interest in my love life is totally unhealthy.'

'Don't give us 'therapist' crap Blainey,' Wes replied.

'He just needs to get laid,' Jeff sighed and Wes nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I paused outside, my inner thoughts fighting with one another. I can't do this. _Yes you can._ I should just leave and go home. _Have some courage!_ No. _YES!_

I walked in and went straight up to the drinks table, downed a glass of champagne and then picked up another. I turned around towards the crowd and was glad that Blaine wasn't in my immediate vision. Maybe he'd left? I could see some of the New Directions gang dancing and looking completely wasted. Then Tina was suddenly making her way over to me.

'Oh Kurt there you are, I've been looking for you.'

'Hey Tina,' I smiled. 'Sorry, I... had to make a phone call. What's going on?'

'The girls and I are about to do a couple of songs, we wanted to know if you'd like to join us?'

'Um, I don't think I will,' I replied. 'I might catch up with some of the guys.'

'Ok... by the way that performance you did was brilliant, really moving.'

'Thanks.'

Tina walked off towards the stage and then I saw Sam making his way over with several empty glasses. He put them on the table and then turned to me.

'Having a good time?' I asked him.

'Yeah, awesome. You?'

'Great, it's been a lot of fun.'

'I loved your performance with that Warbler guy by the way.'

'Oh, thanks.'

'Tell me if I'm over stepping, but, is there something between the two of you or-'

'Oh no, nothing like that... so if you want to ask him out, go for it, he's single.'

'No I didn't mean, um... ' Sam laughed nervously and bit down on his bottom lip before continuing. 'Actually, I thought maybe we could go for a drink sometime, just the two of us... or dinner, or something else, a movie?'

Oh. _Oh_. Sam was asking me out on a date? Me? Now? Fuck, and as if I couldn't get any more pathetic, I was blushing like an adolescent teenager. Real smooth Kurt. I should say something, shit Sam's starting to look worried.

'Oh... I see... um... well...'

'Sorry, I've completely put you on the spot haven't I?' Sam apologised with a smile.

'Just a bit,' I giggled. 'I wasn't expecting you to... um... to ask that.'

'Look, how about this... have a think about it and let me know tomorrow at Tina's... and believe me when I say it's totally cool if the answers no.'

'Ok,' I nodded.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

It was an hour since I'd seen Kurt. He hadn't returned my call or replied to my text, not that I'd really expected him to. I hated myself so much right now. I just hoped he was ok, and not in a bad way or... oh... there he was. He was standing by the drinks table, glass in hand. He was talking to that blonde gay guy again. I watched as the blonde said something to Kurt which caused them to stare at each other and Kurt to start blushing.

I froze. Oh God, they were having a moment. I ignored the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach and turned my back on them to go and find Wes and Jeff again. It was time for me to go.

* * *

><p>'You look fucking dreadful,' I said to my reflection in the bathroom mirror.<p>

I groaned, at least it was a Sunday. I had one day to sort myself out otherwise I'd be scaring my clients out of the building on Monday morning. I had dark bags under my eyes and stubble on my chin. My skin was blotchy red, my eyes were bloodshot and my hair was a mess of untamed curls. After getting home last night I'd wallowed with a couple of whiskeys and coke and I was definitely feeling it now.

Pulling myself away from my reflection, I walked into the kitchen and Joey came bounding up to me. 'Hey boy,' I smiled, stroking his head.

I put some dog food down into his bowl and then made myself a coffee, taking it into the living room with me and sitting on the sofa. A few minutes past and Joey jumped up and sat beside me, resting his head on my lap, looking up at me with his adorable puppy eyes. He really was a great mood lifter.

'Unconditional love...' I started to muse out loud. 'It's so simple... nothing can break it, nothing can... complicate it.'

As soon as I finished my coffee, I put the mug down on the table and started talking to Joey in silly baby dog speak. 'Shall we go to the park Joey? Shall we? Maybe we'll find a nice little doggy for you to play with... and hopefully his lead will be attached to a gorgeous single gay guy for Daddy to play with.'

Joey's eyes lit up even though he probably had no idea what I was saying to him. My plan for the day was to shower and get myself looking half decent and then take Joey for a walk whilst figuring out what to do about the Kurt situation.

But first I decided to call my brother, Cooper. Out of all the possible people I could confide the truth in, he was the best option. My parents probably wouldn't understand, there was no way I could talk to any work colleagues, the Warbler guys would turn it into a huge joke and Simon would tell me to get a life and just 'tap' it.

'Hey little brother,' Cooper answered on the fourth ring.

'Hi Coop, how's it going?'

'The sun's out, I can't complain. What about you? Why are you calling me on a Sunday morning?'

'Can't a guy just call his brother for no reason?'

'Not really no... sooooo?'

'Ok, well there is something I need a bit of advice on.'

'Uh huh... and would this something be to do with a guy?'

Even though Cooper was thousands of miles away, I still felt myself blushing. 'Yeah it is.'

'It's not about Mark is it?'

'No.'

'Good. Tell me about him then.'

'It's kind of a long story, are you sure you've got time?'

'It's Sunday morning, of course I've got time. Go ahead.'

So I started to relay the story to him, telling him everything apart from why Kurt was my client. Cooper was really understanding and instead of advising me to either forget about Kurt or jump on him, talked through all the possible options and helped me weigh out all the pros and cons.

I'd basically reached several conclusions since leaving the reunion last night. 1. I was a horrible person. 2. I really missed singing. 3. That kiss was amazing. 4. I was falling in love with Kurt Hummel.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I walked into the house, hung my coat up and then called out for my Dad. His muffled answer came from the direction of the kitchen so I went in to find him sat at the table, preparing vegetables into a bowl for dinner. I sat in the chair opposite.

'Do you need a hand?' I asked.

'No, I'm fine,' Dad replied, waving his knife dismissively. 'How was the lunch with all the New Directions gang?'

'It was good, a lot of reminiscing about the old days.'

'Did you have a good time?'

'Yeah, I really enjoyed myself.'

'So do you think you'll stay in touch with any of them on a regular basis? Apart from Rachel and Mercedes of course?'

'Definitely, I recently became friends with them all on facebook anyway. Um, do you remember Sam?

'The blonde kid?' Dad asked.

'Yeah that's right. He's gay, but he didn't come out until nineteen.'

Dad frowned. 'So he wasn't gay at school then?'

'Well he told me he ignored the signs. Anyway, he kinda asked me out on a date.'

Dad froze, a half peeled carrot in his hand. He seemed to be thinking carefully of what to say to me. He cleared his throat. 'Oh... oh well that's great Kurt, I hope-'

'I turned him down.'

'Right... oh. Sorry, why did you do that?'

'He is really nice, but he's recently come out of a long term relationship and his job would probably make even the most confident partner feel a little worried and jealous.'

'What does he do?'

'He's a male model.'

'Ah right.'

'And anyway. I'd really rather friendship right now.'

'That's very mature of you kid.'

'I know I've never had a boyfriend, but I feel closer than ever to the possibility becoming a reality. But I'm not just going to say yes to whoever asks. I want "The One" Dad.'

'Good, because you're special Kurt,' Dad said, pointing the carrot at me which undermined his point slightly as I was trying not to laugh. 'In my eyes nobody will ever be good enough for my little boy but I want you to experience being in love with someone... there really is nothing like it.'

* * *

><p>Tuesday was a day full of surprises. I got a phone call from Mrs Parsons offering me the teaching job. I had my first session in the afternoon with a specialist therapist which was a roller-coaster of emotions, going through what had happened to me all over again. Although nowhere near as hard as the first time I went through it with Blaine. Then to celebrate my new job Dad cooked dinner in the evening and for the first time ever, he managed to make mine and Carole's favourite sponge cake rise in the oven on his first attempt. Then of course there was the text just before I went to bed. From Blaine.<p>

_Hi Kurt, I hope you're ok. I'd really like us to meet up and talk but I'll understand if you don't feel ready yet, or if you want to keep your distance. I'll always be here for you. Take care. Blaine._

I didn't know what to do straight away, so many thoughts went through my mind. Would it be best to just ignore Blaine and try and get on with my life? Maybe hearing an apology from him in person would make me feel better about the whole thing? Although on the other hand it might make me feel a whole lot worse. I must have read the text over and over about a hundred times before I finally replied two days later.

_Hi Blaine, I think we should meet too. Do you know the Lima Bean? We could have coffee? Sorry I didn't text sooner, stuff going on. K_

_It's so good to hear from you Kurt, coffee sounds perfect. Yeah I know the Lima Bean. How about tomorrow 5pm? Blaine._

_Cool. I'll see you then. K_

* * *

><p>I turned my coffee mug round and round nervously on the table top. I shouldn't have arrived here so early. All I've done for the past twenty minutes is worry about what to say once Blaine gets here. I was more nervous about this coffee meeting than starting my new job in ten days time. How screwed up was that?<p>

It was five minutes past five now and I'd begun to panic a little. Oh God, what if he didn't show up? What if he had a road accident? What if- But my heart gave a leap of joy when I saw Blaine making his way over to me through the crowds of people. Wow, he looked so good, he was still in his work suit and had I been standing I would have collapsed because my legs had turned to jelly.

'H-hi,' I muttered stupidly once he was close enough to hear me. He didn't sit down, but leaned his hands on the back of the empty chair across from me.

'I'm so sorry I'm late,' Blaine apologised, slightly out of breath. 'I got caught behind two feuding drivers in the parking lot over a disabled spot... anyway... I'm really sorry and um... can I get you a drink?'

'I've er... got one thanks,' I said, holding up my mug.

'Right, ok... um I'll just get myself a coffee, I won't be a minute.'

Blaine went over to the counter to order his coffee and I let out a breath I hadn't even realised I'd been keeping in. What the hell was happening here? We were acting like two awkward teenagers on a first date or something, we were grown adults. Blaine seemed a bit nervous, was he worried I was going to make a complete fool of myself and confess my undying love for him or something? Or embarrass him in front of everyone like his horrible ex did at that restaurant? Because neither of those things would ever happen in a million years.

When he returned a couple of minutes later, he sat down without making eye contact with me. Blaine stirred his coffee for a lot longer than was necessary, obviously stalling for time and thinking what to say. Eventually he moved his drink away from him to the middle of the table and looked at me, guilt written deep into his eyes and all over his face.

'Well I've not really planned what I wanted to say to you so it might be a bit rambly.'

'That's ok,' I said.

'Kurt... I'm so incredibly sorry about the way I acted last Saturday. I really hate myself for what I did.'

'Blaine it's ok,' I sighed. He looked so broken and torn and this had obviously been eating him up over the past few days. I wanted to touch him so badly, just to show I really didn't have any bad will against him.

'It's not ok,' Blaine replied, sounding a little angry. 'It's far from ok, don't give me an easy time here, I don't deserve it.'

'It's nice of you to feel so responsible but I think you're unjustly criticising yourself.'

Blaine smile slightly. 'Why do you have to be so nice?'

'It's just the way I am,' I shrugged. 'Would you prefer if I hated you and was all angry?'

'Probably,' Blaine laughed. 'But that wouldn't be you would it?'

'No. Look Blaine, I told you that night I'd never been kissed and... you took pity on me-'

'-I didn't-'

'-and I know you meant well and that-

'-Kurt-'

'-you weren't trying to be malicious or-'

'No, _stop_.'

I looked at Blaine in surprise. 'What'

'You've got it all wrong. God Kurt, it wasn't... it wasn't like that at all.'

'What do you mean?' I frowned as Blaine scratched at the back of his neck nervously. He leaned forwards a little and spoke more quietly, eyes never leaving mine.

'The truth is, I kissed you because I wanted to. Not because I felt sorry for you. I wasn't even thinking about that at the time. If I had been there's no way I would have kissed you.'

'Oh... sorry I don't really understand. Why would you want to kiss _me_?'

'I guess you could say I had a moment,' Blaine shrugged with a small smile.

'A moment about me?' I whispered and Blaine nodded.

'You're a very attractive man Kurt, anyone can see that. After our duet when we went back behind the curtain I'd never seen you look... so alive you know? But I shouldn't have done what I did, it was completely out of order and I didn't even have the decency to ask for your permission. I acted purely on instinct.'

What? Blaine thought I was attractive? _Seriously_? No, focus Kurt, don't get side-tracked. He's probably just humouring you anyway, he used to be your Doctor remember. _He knows everything_.

'Um, Blaine... if you'd have asked me beforehand I really don't think I would have had the courage to say yes. I probably would have run a mile to be honest. Anyway, I asked you to kiss me again remember?'

'But you freaked out Kurt; you ran off and then ignored my attempts to contact you.'

'I know, I... I panicked. It was my first ever kiss and it felt really nice but then my brain was just yelling at me, saying it was a pity kiss and didn't count for anything. I just felt stupid.'

'I'm really sorry I made you feel that way,' Blaine said quietly and I thought I could detect a slight emotion in his voice. 'Maybe I should have made more of an effort to try and explain everything that night, but you seemed to be ok so I thought I'd leave you to it.'

'You mean you saw me after?' I asked.

'Yeah, you were talking to some guy.'

'Um, Sam yeah,' I remembered. 'I really don't want you to spare my feelings Blaine, so are you sure the whole thing wasn't just a pity-'

'Kurt, I promise you,' Blaine interrupted me, sounding serious and desperate for me to believe him. 'I can count with the fingers on my hands the number of guys I've kissed. I don't just kiss anyone, I'm not like that.'


	9. Chapter 9

_~KURT'S POV~_

'Right... well thanks for clarifying it all for me.'

I didn't really know what else to say after that, although I felt a pleasant rush spread through my body. But a little voice in the back of my head was telling me that he was lying and would probably say just about anything to make me feel better. It wouldn't do me any good to dwell on the thought that Blaine found me attractive. It wasn't as though anything would ever develop between us, well only in my dreams.

So what happened now? Should I shake his hand and get on my way? Ask him how his week had been? Similar thoughts seemed to be going through Blaine's mind too. 'So Kurt, you said in one of your texts you had stuff going on. Is everything ok?'

'Yeah, everything's good. I um... I got that teaching job I applied for.'

'Oh wow, congratulations,' Blaine beamed. 'I'm really pleased for you.'

'Thanks.'

'I bet you were overwhelmed by the news.'

'Just a bit,' I laughed. 'I don't think I said anything for about ten seconds until my name was said for the fourth time.'

'When do you start?'

'In ten days. I'm nervous as hell of course but really excited too.'

'You're gonna be great. Once you have the first day out of the way you'll wonder why you ever felt anxious.'

'I hope so, and more money to buy clothes which is a bonus.'

'Of course,' Blaine smiled. 'Or in my case just another suit.'

'It would bore me to tears shopping for a suit,' I said and Blaine laughed.

I looked down at my barely touched coffee. Opposite me, Blaine lifted up his own coffee and took a few long sips. Then he looked at his watch and my heart ached a little. He was desperate to get away already. Well I didn't blame him to be honest. He'd done his duty by apologising, he had no reason to hang around any longer.

'I'm really sorry, but I have to go,' Blaine said, standing up. 'I've got a meeting to prepare for tomorrow morning and I haven't even read over the minutes from the last one yet.'

'A meeting on a Saturday?' I asked sceptically.

'Yeah I know,' Blaine said with a roll of his eyes. 'My team's been really busy lately due to staff sickness so it's the only time we could all get together.'

'Well I think I'll probably stay and finish this,' I said, putting a hand around my mug. Blaine smiled down at me.

'I'm glad we got to see each other and the chance to talk things though.'

'No problem.'

'Ok, well take care of yourself Kurt.'

'You too,' I replied, feeling a lump form in my throat as I watched Blaine leave.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I closed the door of my car and just sat there in silence, feeling dejected. Kurt and I had talked, we'd cleared the air, yet somehow I felt even worse now. Kurt had been positively adorable and seeing him again only reaffirmed my growing feelings for him. I really hoped he believed me, the thought of him going home and thinking that I just saw him as a pity case was heart breaking.

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel trying to think of anything else but Kurt, but failing miserably. He'd said the kiss was nice. Did that mean he might like me in _that_ way? Was it possible the feelings I was experiencing were mutual? How was I supposed to go home and concentrate on writing notes for tomorrows meeting? Maybe a few beers would help the process along; I'd have to stop off on the way home to get some.

It was then I clocked Kurt walking out of The Lima Bean. He slowly made his way over to his own car, but instead of getting in, stood turning the keys over and over in his hand absently. He looked deep in thought and I wondered what or who he was thinking about. A whole load of _What Ifs_ entered my brain. A different time? A different place? A different-

Before I could talk myself out of it I was pushing my car door open and making my way across the parking lot to Kurt. I stopped behind him and took a deep breath, feeling nervous.

'Kurt,' I said and he turned around, looking surprised to see me standing there.

'Blaine, are you ok?' he asked me with slight panic in his voice. 'Have you broken down or-'

'No nothing like that, I just... I wanted to ask you a question.'

'Oh... ok then,' Kurt replied, confusion in his eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip and put my hands in my pockets.

'Kurt, if the circumstances were... were different, and I um, I asked you out... like, on a date w-what would you say?'

I cringed inwardly at my pathetic mumbling. Kurt was staring at me with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open in shock. Then he looked down to the ground, blinking rapidly. When he looked back up at me I was sure his eyes were slightly watery.

'Are you asking me out?' Kurt whispered. 'Because if you're not and this is just something to massage your ego I'd really rather not answer.'

He had a point. What the fuck was I doing? I took a step backwards shaking my head. 'I'm sorry, you're absolutely right... it was stupid of me to even... I don't know what I was thinking.'

I took a couple of more steps backwards from Kurt, feeling incredibly embarrassed and foolish. What the hell was wrong with me? 'Um, bye Kurt.'

'Bye Blaine,' he replied quietly and then I turned around and didn't look back as I returned to my car.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I turned my pillow over, laying my head back down on the cold side. One of life's free pleasures. My clock glowed in the darkness informing me that it was 03:48. I'd first crawled into bed just after midnight and four hours later I was still wide awake, my brain in overload thinking about Blaine, dissecting and analysing our earlier conversation over and over again.

He had implied that if we had just met in a bar or whatever, he would have (maybe) asked me out. That he would have been interested in me. !Me. But we didn't bump into each other at a bar, far from it. I was damaged goods and he knew all the gory details.

Of course the answer to his question was yes. One hundred per cent yes. Why hadn't I just told him so? I'd clammed up and become defensive because regardless of my answer, Blaine had no intention of ever asking me out for real. He was just curious, that was all.

I felt around in the dark for my phone on the bedside table. When I located it I pressed a button which illuminated the screen and squinted at the sudden brightness. Once my eyes became accustomed to the light I began typing out a text. It was probably a bad idea, but it wasn't as though I was ever going to see Blaine again. What was the harm?

_The answer would have been yes. K._

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

If the grim reaper showed up now, I would gladly nominate myself to be taken. Why on earth had I agreed to go on a blind date set up by Jeff? I've never been on a blind date in my life and I never intended to do so ever again. I guess the idea initially intrigued me as a potential way to take my mind off Kurt, and I was willing to try just about anything to be honest. And perhaps a nice guy would be a welcome distraction from my thoughts. But this guy I was on a date with, John, was the most arrogant and obnoxious person I'd ever met. I think even Simon wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

'...so yeah, I'm totally on course to making my first mill before the big three o.'

'Oh that's... great,' I replied with a fake smile. What else was I supposed to say to a statement like that? He probably expected me to whoop with joy for him. Fucking show off. If you need to boast about money all the time, there's something seriously wrong with you. It annoyed me that people thought money was the root to all happiness. Money can't buy you manners, or a nice personality, or even intelligence. Money buys you stuff, material things and attracts those who have no real interest in the real you.

'Yeah, so you can totally imagine how much I'll have by forty.'

'Hmm, enough to retire I guess.'

'Of course. I'll let my business and investments work for themselves whilst I cruise around the Caribbean on my yacht.'

'Sounds lovely.'

'You know, my sister whose five years older than me works as a teacher in a public school... can you imagine the awful wages? Why anyone would go into a career that pays peanuts is beyond me.'

'Well she probably enjoys it,' I argued. 'A lot of teachers can't imagine doing anything else.'

'Yeah but living in a mediocre apartment? Having a ten year old car? Only going on one decent holiday a year?'

Was this guy for real? 'Is she happy?'

He scoffed. 'What's that got to do with anything?'

'Um, do you want another drink?' I asked him, avoiding responding anymore to his stupidity. His glass was still almost full but I'd finished mine nearly ten minutes ago. Well there was nothing else to do but drink whilst he talked and talked and talked.

'Actually, do you want to get out of here?' John winked at me.

'Like move on to another place?'

'In a manner of speaking, yeah,' he smirked. 'My place. Huge four poster bed, jacuzzi bath, what do you say?'

Ok, so that sentence made me feel a little nauseous. Never in a month of Sundays was I going home with him. Even if I did like him I wasn't one for one night stands anyway, they just never appealed to me. But it was with a sinking feeling that being in this guy's company for the new few hours with alcohol flowing so easily would only result in him becoming more and more unbearable.

'I see... er John, the thing is I'm not really into... look, are you hungry? We could go to a restaurant, I know this really nice-'

'Blaine, let me be honest here,' John interrupted me with a chuckle. 'I don't do... wooing. Romantic dinners, terms of endearment, strolls through the park at sunset... that's not me. I'm just interested in having a good time.'

'Getting laid?'

'Exactly.'

'Right.'

'Oh dear, it seems we're not on the same page here huh?'

'No... I guess we should probably call it a night then.'

'That's a shame,' John sighed, leaning in closer to me. 'You're fucking hot Blaine; I was looking forward to getting you into my bed.. and into my mouth.'

'Thanks for that image,' I grimaced.

'I would have fucked you so hard and licked my cum all off your chest.'

'Ok, I think that's my cue to leave,' I cringed, standing up and grabbing my coat from the back of the chair. 'But can I ask you a question?'

'Sure, whatever,' John replied, already eyeing up another guy across the room.

'Have you ever slept with someone you were actually in love with?'

'I can't say I have, no,' John shrugged. 'Sex is just sex.'

'Then I feel sorry for you.'

I could hear John laughing as I walked away. I was making my way towards the elevator when my eye caught a group of familiar people. Then my heart skipped a beat as I saw Kurt standing in the middle of them, looking gorgeous and happy.

I stopped and automatically began edging closer to them, but keeping out of sight in case I was spotted. He was with his Dad, Step Mom, two girls from the reunion and a guy I didn't recognise. Kurt's Dad raised his drink high.

'So I'd like to make a toast,' he said loudly. 'To Kurt's new job.'

They all cheered, clinking glasses with one another. Kurt looked shy, looking down at the floor and blushing. I couldn't help smiling. I saw his lips mouth the words 'Thank you,' but didn't hear it.

With a lot of effort, I tore my eyes away and quickly made my way towards the exit. Once I was outside and waiting for a cab I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the text Kurt had sent me two weeks ago for the billionth time.

_The answer would have been yes. K._

I'd been coming to The Loop quite a lot since I first saw Kurt here and we got stuck in the elevator. I convinced myself I was trying to be more sociable after the break up with Mark but I guess on a subconscious level I was hoping to bump into Kurt, but hadn't until tonight.

I really needed to grow up. I was a twenty eight year old professional yet I couldn't get an ex client out of my head. A guy I shouldn't be interested in, a guy I _couldn't_ be interested in. Abandoning the plan of getting a cab home, I began walking, intending to stop off at the next bar I could find for a few more drinks.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Thank you,' I said shyly, once they'd all stopped cheering. I could feel the heat under my cheeks.

I was starting to regret agreeing to a celebration drink of my first week at my new job. Well not so much the drink, but the location. Even though The Loop was a gay venue, Dad and Kip had showed far too much enthusiasm than was necessary coming here and Santana kept pointing to random guys and asking if I liked them.

'So what are the kids in your class like?' Kip asked me as the others moved towards the bar to get another round of drinks in.

'Sweet mostly. Of course every class has a bit of a trouble maker, but it's all cool.'

'You're really enjoying it then?'

'Yeah I am. It's really nice to have my own class and the pay is a lot better than before.'

'Well you can get the next round in then,' Kip smiled and we both laughed. 'But seriously Kurt, it's really great to see you happier these days. I'm not gonna pry into your personal business, but whatever help you were getting I'm glad it's worked.

I couldn't talk for a moment, too choked up to form any words. 'Thank you Kip, that really means a lot. And I'm sorry that I wasn't a better brother for you. I could have spent so much more time with-'

'Hey don't beat yourself up over the past. You were there for all the important parts and always will be, that's what matters right? Not to mention the awesome senior prom suit you made me.'

'Yeah that was pretty good wasn't it?' I replied and then I lifted my glass up. 'Here's to the future.'

Kip clinked his glass with mine. Just then a guy walked past us and winked at him. He went bright red and looked at me. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to stop laughing. 'Er, did that guy just come on to me?'

'Yeah I think so,' I replied.

'But... how does he know we're not boyfriends?'

'That doesn't really matter to some people,' I told him, rolling my eyes.

Dad and Carole went home quite early. Then when Santana began whispering things into Brittany's ear that made her blush beetroot red they decided it was time to go too, along with Kip who was driving them home. We went outside and said our goodbyes but then I went back in to use the bathroom quickly. Just as I was about to leave the building to make my way home, I received a text from Sam.

_Update on Craig and I. Date number 4 was amazing. He's an awesome kisser; it's my new favourite hobby! How's your celebration going? Meet any cute guys? ;) Sam x_

Sam had texted me about a guy he met and wanted my advice (ha!) on whether it was too soon after his break up to go on a date. I told him to go with his gut instinct and surely one date wouldn't hurt. There was no harm in a dinner or a few drinks.

But I had to blink back the tears. That could have been me. Sam and I going on our fourth date. Sam and I kissing. I know I did the right thing in turning him down, but it didn't change the fact I was still incredibly lonely. I turned around and walked back to the bar, ordering a double vodka and coke.

* * *

><p>Ok, since when did walking become such a difficult task? As I tried to make my way from the bathroom back to the bar I passed two guys kissing against the wall. It was such a natural occurrence between couples. How do I even know I <em>can<em> kiss? Maybe I was awful at it? But the only person who could answer that question was Blaine.

Without even realising what I was doing, my phone was in my hands and I was dialling Blaine's number. I immediately regretted it and began to whisper 'Don't pick up,' over and over again. But no such luck.

'Kurt?'

I took a sharp intake of breath when I heard his voice. My heart was beating like crazy. I could hear traffic noise in the background meaning Blaine was outside somewhere. 'Um... hi,' I said.

'Kurt are you ok?' he asked me.

'I'm... I'm fine... sorry are you busy?'

'No, no, not busy at all,' he said quickly as though he was afraid I was going to hang up.

'Ok... I er, I've just been thinking and... and... I wanted to ask you something.'

'Sure, anything.'

'Will you be completely honest with me?' I asked him quietly.

'Of course, Kurt what is it? What's going on?'

'I mean I've... I've got no other... experiences to compare it to and... and you're really the only person I can-'

'Kurt, whatever it is just ask. Don't be scared ok?'

'Right um...' I took a deep breath. '...Am I good kisser? I know I was probably really bad seeing as it was my first ever kiss, but how-'

'Kurt, you were amazing... the kiss was amazing.'

I was taken aback. I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as though something ice cold had just hit. Blaine sounded so genuine. He thought the kiss was amazing? He thought I was amazing? Fuck this wasn't helping in my mission to get over him. Why couldn't he just say the kiss was ok?

'Kurt are you still there?' Blaine asked, sounding a little worried.

'Yeah I'm still here,' I whispered.

'Do you want to meet up and talk?'

'Oh... um...'

'Are you still at The Loop?'

'Yeah I... hang on, how did you know that's where I was?'

'I saw you in there earlier. I was on a disastrous blind date.'

'You should have said hello,' I laughed nervously, trying to block out the thought of Blaine on a date with someone else, it made my stomach feel funny.

'I didn't want to intrude... have they all gone home then?'

'Yeah it's just me. So, where do you want to meet?'

'I'll meet you at the entrance in ten minutes.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

As I approached The Loop I saw Kurt waiting for me. I could see straight off that he was drunk. He was unsteady on his feet and his eyelids were drooping a bit. What had happened between earlier and now to make him this way? He seemed so happy when his dad was giving that toast surrounded by his family and some friends.

'Hi,' I said once we were just a few feet apart. Kurt looked up and gave me a small smile.

'Hi... you didn't have to come here Blaine, I'm so sorry for ruining your-'

'Hey, you haven't ruined anything ok? I was on my own at a bar down the road trying to forget about my horrendous date.'

'That bad huh?' Kurt smirked.

'Worse,' I sighed. 'I seriously don't understand how some people become so full of themselves.'

'Probably because they stick to "yes" men.'

'I guess so.'

'I really am sorry for calling you and-'

'It was my idea to meet up so no more apologies right?'

'Ok,' he replied.

I led him over to a brick wall, low enough for us to sit on. I didn't really want to go back into the bar and doubted Kurt would want to either. 'So... where have all these insecurities about kissing come from?' I asked him and he turned to face me with a sad smile. Had Kurt met someone he wanted to go on a date with? The thought made me feel a little uneasy.

'An old school friend asked of mine me out at the glee club reunion. I said no... not because I didn't like him, but...'

'You didn't want to tell him about your past?'

'No, not even because of that... it's just; I don't want to be with just anybody. I want to be with "The One", and now he's dating someone else and I'm getting texts about how great his new boyfriend is... I really shouldn't let it get to me but it does.'

'There's nothing wrong in wanting to wait for the right person Kurt. Why are you upsetting yourself?'

'Because I'm so... lonely. And I know jealously is a horrible trait to have but I just can't help it. It's not him that I'm even jealous about, it's what he has.'

I felt a stab of pain in my heart. Kurt was such an incredible person, to see him so broken and afraid of the future was really heart-breaking. He just wanted to love someone and be loved in return. He wasn't asking for much, but he had a huge mountain to climb with all the demons from his teenage years hanging over him.

'Am I going to be like this forever?' Kurt whispered, tears leaking from his eyes. I had to swallow a lump that had formed in my throat. Every part of me just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him, never let go and tell him everything was going to be fine. But instead I just smiled at him.

'Kurt, one day you will meet someone... your true love. When that day comes you'll be glad you waited, and the time it took to find him will make perfect sense and be worth it because nobody else was him.'

'But what if I've already met him?' Kurt asked me, his voice breaking. 'What if... what if he doesn't want me... then what?'

Kurt was looking at me with hopeful and expectant eyes. My heart was thumping like an incredibly loud drum and my semi-drunk brain was so close to ripping the walls down and going for it. All I had to do was lean forwards a little and my lips would be on his, tasting him, making him feel good, making him feel wanted and loved.

I was desperate to shout _'I do want you_,' but I couldn't. He ran away last time and I made him feel pitied. I had to do things right. I had to think with my head, not my heart or my hormones. I completely screwed everything up when I kissed him three weeks ago. I wasn't going to do that again.

'Blaine, I really like y-'

'Kurt you're drunk,' I said to him, putting a hand on his arm lightly. 'I think it would be a really good idea if you went home and got a good night's sleep. You're going to have a horrible hangover in the morning.'

'Oh... ok,' he said, looking anywhere but at me.

'But I'll call you tomorrow and we can talk, meet up... I'll treat you to lunch or dinner, whatever you want. But here... now... it's not the time for this.'

'I see.'

'Let's share a cab home; I'll drop you off first. You don't live far from here if my memory serves me correctly?'

'No... not far.'


	10. Chapter 10

_~KURT'S POV~_

For the tenth time that day I cringed inwardly. I'd made a complete fool of myself last night. I practically threw myself at Blaine like a desperate and pathetic idiot wanting to be loved. I was kidding myself, Blaine may have admitted he thought I was attractive, a good kisser and in different circumstances may have even asked me out, but the fact was he didn't want me.

I was stupid to even contemplate the idea. As if he'd want to date a twenty four year old as screwed up as me? Someone who used be his client for goodness sake? Someone who has sat in his office and cried like a baby?

The cab ride home from The Loop had been torture. We sat in silence and I was using every ounce of self-control to stop myself from breaking down. I mumbled a goodbye when getting out, Blaine had started to say something but I didn't hang around to listen, the tears in full flow before I even put my house keys in the front door.

So after spending most of the day hiding under my duvet I went into the kitchen and sat down at the table to work through my lesson plans for the following week. I hadn't even pulled the cap off my pen yet when I received a text.

_Hi Kurt, I've tried calling but you're not picking up. Is everything ok? Call me when you get a minute we need to talk :) Blaine._

Blaine had called three times already today, but I'd ignored him. I really didn't want to have the '_I'm flattered Kurt, but I'm not interested_,' conversation with him. With a heavy heart I proceeded to delete every text message ever sent between us. Then I deleted my call history, and finally Blaine's number from my contacts.

I needed to move on and forget about him.

* * *

><p>It was evening time and I was sat on the sofa in the living room. Dad and Carole were sat on the other sofa. They were watching a wildlife documentary on the tv and I was reading a magazine.<p>

I'd noticed during dinner the atmosphere seemed a little tense, like there was an elephant in the room somewhere, but I hadn't pushed it. Maybe they'd had a row or something and it wasn't really any of my business anyway.

'Who'd like some apple crumble?' Carole suddenly asked. 'It should be ready to come out of the oven now.'

'Yeah thanks love,' Dad said to her.

'Kurt, would you like some?'

'No thanks Carole,' I replied, looking up from my magazine. She exchanged a look with my Dad and I felt my stomach drop. Uh-oh, the tension had been about me. Fuck, what had I done?

'Er, Kurt is everything ok?' Dad asked me.

'Yeah fine, I'm just full from dinner that's all.'

'I don't mean about the crumble.'

'Sorry?'

'It's just we've noticed you've been a bit quiet lately, and at first we put it down to your new job but you've been there four weeks now.'

'I don't know what you're talking about,' I shrugged, looking away from both their gazes.

'Kurt, don't lie to me,' Dad said quietly but deadly. I looked him in the eyes. There was worry and concern in them. I've been causing him stress again. Great, well done Kurt.

'I'll leave you boys to it,' Carole said as Dad and I continued to look at each other. She stood up and then patted me on the shoulder before leaving the room. I dropped my magazine to the floor and waited for my Dad to speak again.

'Kurt, no more secrets remember? I want you to be straight with me, and if you can't, at least talk to someone... Carole, Rachel, whoever.'

'Dad there's really nothing to talk about.'

'Then why do we hear you crying at night?' he asked me and my eyes widened. _Shit_! 'What's going on with you?'

'Um...'

'You were doing so well Kurt, what's happened to make you so-'

'Dad, stop,' I shouted. 'I'm fine, really. Physically, psychologically... I've never been better...'

'I'm struggling here Kurt,' Dad admitted, shaking his head.

'I guess you could say that... emotionally, I'm not fine.'

'How do you mean?'

'Ok... I...' God, I can't believe I was about to confess all to my Dad. This was going to be _so_ embarrassing. 'I'm... I'm kind of in love with someone... and h-he... he doesn't feel the same. It's just taking some time getting over him, that's all.'

'Oh, I see, it's... about a guy,' Dad said, sounding quite relieved that it wasn't something more serious.

'Yes.'

'Is it Sam? I thought you turned him down?'

'No it's not Sam,' I said quietly and then I said the word that was going to cause the explosion. But he did say no more secrets. 'It's... Blaine.'

'Blaine? Who's Bla- Wait, Dr Blaine Anderson? Your _therapist_?'

'Ex therapist,' I corrected childishly.

'I don't understand, so you... you developed a crush on him during your treatment and several weeks later you're crying yourself to sleep over it? That doesn't make any sense.'

'No,' I rolled my eyes. 'I'm not a kid Dad; this isn't about a silly crush.'

Dad immediately looked guilty. 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean it to sound like that.'

'It's ok.'

'So did anything happen? Oh God, did he take advantage of you Kurt? Jesus if he laid even one finger on you I'll-'

'Please don't start jumping to conclusions,' I sighed. 'This all happened way after my sessions.'

'What all happened?' Dad asked sceptically.

'I guess you could say we... sort of became friends. I bumped into him at The Loop one night. We got stuck in the elevator together and got talking. I found out he was also in a glee club at his high school so I ended up inviting him to the reunion.'

'Right, so... let me get my head around this, you invited your therapist to a party?'

'Well when you put it like that it sounds a bit weird, but that's not how it was. Anyway does it really matter?'

'And now you're in love with the guy? How... did something actually happen between you or...?'

'Well we... we kissed... at the reunion.'

Great, I was blushing bright red now and Dad's eyes had widened in surprise. Could this conversation get anymore awkward? I should have just said yes to that stupid apple crumble, but my appetite has been missing of late. Dad leaned forwards and I could almost see the cogs working inside his head whilst he figured out what to say next.

'Did he lead you on? Has he tried to-'

'He's been a perfect gentleman with me, don't even go there.'

'Does he know how you feel?' Dad asked quietly.

'Sort of,' I shrugged. 'I think.'

'You think?'

'Well I called him that night we went out to celebrate my job. I made a complete fool of myself, telling him I liked him.'

'What did Blaine say?'

'That I needed to go home because I was drunk, and that we'd discuss it another time.'

'That makes sense. So did you talk?'

'No, I've been ignoring his calls ever since.'

'Why?'

'Because I've humiliated myself enough, I don't need him to tell me that he doesn't want me, I know he doesn't.'

'But you can't get over him?'

'No. I can't stop thinking about him.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

Tomorrow night I was meeting up with Wes and David to discuss the final touches of our Warblers reunion. I was ridiculously excited about it and we'd even managed to get one of the Dalton common rooms for the evening as well. It was going to be amazing. I had invited Cooper, but he was gutted as he couldn't get the day off from his play to come and visit.

It was lunchtime and I was just about to tuck into my salad when the internal phone on my desk started ringing. 'Yep?' I answered.

'Sorry Blaine, I know it's your lunch but I've got someone in reception who wants to see you. He says it's urgent.'

'Oh right, who is it?' I asked, not actually intending to disrupt my lunchtime. People could be so inconsiderate.

'Burt Hummel.'

Ok, so that got my full attention. Kurt's Dad was here? Shit, was Kurt ok? Had something happened to him? Was there a serious reason as to why Kurt hadn't been returning my calls and texts? I was panicking so much in my mind I'd forgotten to speak.

'Blaine?'

'Right, um that's fine, send him up,' I said and then I hung up.

I put my salad in my desk drawer and checked my phone to see if I'd missed any calls or texts from Kurt, but nothing. As I stood up there was a knock on my door and I felt sick with worry. I attempted to compose myself with a deep breath but it didn't really help. I opened the door and Kurt's Dad was stood there.

'Can I come in?' he asked stiffly.

'Of course,' I replied, the pitch of my voice going a little high with nervous energy. I stepped backwards to let him in and shut the door. 'Mr Hummel, how can I hel-'

'This isn't a social call Dr Anderson,' he interrupted me and sat down in one of the chairs with a heavy sigh. I sat down too, my heart beating furiously.

'I take it this is about Kurt? Is he ok?'

'Not really, no.'

'What's wrong?' I asked, a chill going through me.

'He told me about... the two of you.'

'Sorry?'

'He told me you've seen each other a few times, outside of his sessions. He also told me that you er... kissed at that reunion thing a few weeks ago.'

'Right,' I whispered, swallowing nervously as I felt heat rushing to my cheeks. Jesus, I was feeling like a naughty twelve year old being told off for chewing gum or something. _For fucks sake Blaine, grow a pair_.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you,' Burt smiled, and to be honest the idea had crossed my mind. 'Kurt told me you've been a complete gentleman about the whole thing.'

'I could have handled things better,' I admitted, scratching the back of my neck.

'Yeah you could have.'

'So um... do you mind me asking why you've come to see me? Is it to tell me to back the hell off?'

'Yes and no. I just want what's best for Kurt, I don't want him being hurt and all his progress these past few months to come unravelling.'

'I want that too.'

'Kurt's finding it difficult getting over you.'

What? Getting over me? What did that mean? I know he was trying to tell me he liked me that night I went to meet him at The Loop. Hang on, I guess he _did_ imply that I was the one he'd already found but he was drunk, rambling and feeling lonely. I didn't really think anything of it. Oh fuck, why hadn't I realised it before? Kurt had fallen in love with me. I was a total idiot.

'I have tried to contact him,' I said, trying to sound together and in control. 'I'm not really sure what more I can do. But of course I'll do anything to help.'

'Do you like my son?'

'W-what?' I gasped, not expecting that question to just be thrown out.

'It's a simple question.'

'I... I don't think this is conversation I wish to have with you, sorry.'

Burt looked as though he'd quite like to go back on the promise of not killing me. But I did have some dignity. 'Look, you've... well you've kissed him... so you must like him a bit surely?'

'Well of course I like him, it's just... Mr Hummel, it's not as simple as-'

'Oh, so he's not good enough for you?' Burt raised his voice in defence of his son. 'How the hell do you expect him to move on with his life when you of all people who should understand his past think he's too damaged and-'

'I'm not saying that at all. Sir, I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to get hurt either. Kurt's never had a serious relationship and... and it's not wise for him to jump head first into one.'

'Are you saying you're not interested then?'

'I'm saying... I need to speak to Kurt.'

'Well whatever happens between you two... if you put even one foot out of line, you'll wish you'd never been born. Understood?'

'Understood,' I repeated.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

The bell went and there was a sudden rush of noisy children and the scraping of chairs. 'Ok, bye guys, see you all tomorrow,' I called out as they started running out of the classroom.

I remembered when I was their age, the sheer joy that home time had arrived and your Mom or Dad were waiting for you outside. I started tidying up my desk and my phone began to ring. It was on silent, but the screen lighting up alerted me to it. I recognised the number as Blaine's even though I'd deleted him from my contacts.

It's been over three weeks since I saw him. I'd made a promise to myself to completely ignore any attempts of contact but I couldn't help reading the texts he'd sent and listening to the voicemails he left. But I'd always delete them straight away.

Sure enough my phone displayed a new voicemail received. With a sigh I put the phone to my ear and listened. But it wasn't like the other messages just asking if I was ok. My stomach dropped and anger boiled up inside of me as Blaine talked.

_'Hi Kurt, it's Blaine. I don't know if you're aware but your father came to see me today. I'm... I'm so sorry you've been having a tough time. I really believe sitting down, talking things through and being honest with each other will be a big help, for both of us. Please call or text me. Ok, take care, bye.'_

Oh my god, how could my Dad do that to me? There was no way I could ever see Blaine again after this, I felt utterly humiliated. Fuck, had my Dad told him I was in love with him? I gave up the tidying, grabbed my bag from under my desk and rushed out, desperate to find a bar to drink myself stupid.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'So first of all, all those in favour of vetoing all Katy Perry songs?' David said, narrowing his eyes at me from across the table where he was sitting next to Wes. We were having dinner in Breadstix and going over the final Warbler reunion plans.

'Hey what's wrong with Katy Perry?' I argued. 'I loved her songs when I was at high school.'

'No Blaine,' Wes shook his head. 'No. I still have nightmares about her songs. '_Actual_ proper nightmares.'

'Not even Firework?'

'No,' they said in unison.

'Whatever,' I mumbled, taking a sip of my coke as David laughed and high fived Wes. 'I hate you guys.'

'And we hate your taste in music,' David smirked.

'Blaine have you decided on a solo song to do?' Wes asked.

'Um... no I haven't. Actually...'

'What?' David asked. 'Before you even ask, no Pink songs even.'

'No not that,' I laughed. 'I was just wondering, well... I know we're supposed to be talking about the Warblers reunion, but can I ask you guys for some advice on something else before we start?'

'Are you taking drugs?' Wes gasped, eyes wide. 'Do we need to lock you in a cupboard whilst you go cold turkey?'

'No of course not.'

'Oh... well have you developed a crush on a girl?'

'Blaine have you turned _straight_?' David shouted in disgust.

'No... look can I actually speak before you two go off on one?'

'Of course,' Wes said. 'The floor is yours Anderson; we won't say another word, promise.'

'Right, thank you... well there's this guy and... it's complicated but-'

'Do you like him?' David interrupted, breaking their promise in less than five seconds. Really, why did I even bother?

'Well yeah, of course I like him. The thing is-'

'Is he gay?'

'Yeah.'

'Does he like you?'

'Yeah but here's the-'

'Is he single?'

'Yeah.'

'The right side of eighteen?'

'Yeah.'

David shared a look with Wes, who rolled his eyes and shrugged. 'David man, this is Blainey Boy, a complete no hoper when it comes to affairs of the heart.'

'True Wesley, true. Remember the time that pizza delivery guy asked Blaine out for coffee and Blaine replied that the kitchen was down the hall if he was thirsty?'

Wes and David fell about laughing. Was I the only one that grew up after high school? Or maybe I had turned into a bit of a bore. 'Guys, I am here you know.'

'Sorry,' David apologised. 'I don't get it... you like a guy and he likes you... what's so complicated about it?'

'Hey, is this about Kirk?' Wes smirked, face lighting up.

'Who's Kirk?' David frowned.

'A guy Blaine had a one nighter with and now he's obsessed with him. Jeff and I met him at the McKinley reunion. Two words David. Eye. Fucking.'

'Don't believe a word he says,' I said to David, whilst shaking my head.

'Dude, stalking someone is seriously not cool.'

'Jesus, do you two ever listen to anything I say?'

'Not really,' Wes replied for them both. 'Look, take your doctor hat off for a minute and listen to your heart. It's pretty simple dude, do you love him?'

'I... yes,' I smiled, feeling myself becoming emotional. It was the first time I'd admitted it out loud. Wes and David both said 'Aww,' causing me to blush and hide my face in my hands. But in all seriousness, would pursuing a relationship with Kurt be the best thing to do, or a complete and utter disaster, not to mention morally stupid?

* * *

><p>Kurt still wasn't responding to me. It was becoming really frustrating, but what else could I do? I didn't want to put all my thoughts and feelings into a text or an e-mail; it would never come across accurately, not to mention I'd get repetitive strain injury from all the rambling typing. So I decided to call Cooper, at the very least he'd make me feel better even if he was no help.<p>

'Hey.'

'Hi Coop.'

'So?'

Had Cooper forgotten how to speak in sentences? 'Um, so _what_ Coop?'

'What else, Kurt you idiot. I need news and details.'

'Oh right. Well there's nothing to tell.'

'Nothing?'

'No, he's still ignoring me.'

'So not even a text to tell you to fuck off?'

'Not even one of those. I'd quite welcome an abusive text right now.'

'Aww are you pining for him?'

'Shut up,' I mumbled, blushing even though I was on my own.

'You are trying aren't you?

I couldn't help but smile. To have my big brother care so much about my love life really meant something. When I came out I was more scared of telling Cooper than my parents, desperate for his approval and support. He may annoy the hell out of me most of the time but when it counted, he was great.

'Of course I'm trying, I just don't know what else I can do.'

'So you've been calling and texting to get him to meet you?'

'Yeah.'

'Well it seems like it's time to press on with plan b.'

I laughed. 'I wasn't aware there was a plan a.'

'Ye of little faith little bro. Basically we've tried it your way... now we try it my way.'

'And what's that?' I asked sceptically.

'You don't give him a choice.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

_Kurt it's been 2 days since I left you that voicemail. If you don't contact me by tomorrow morning I'll have to come to your house. We need to talk. Blaine._

Fuck!

Shit!

_Aaaaaaaaaargh_!

I collapsed back against my pillows with a deep sigh and put a hand to my head. It was Saturday afternoon and I'd just woken up. I had a banging headache and felt incredibly sick. Stupid hangover. Now this was all I needed, Blaine on my case _again_.

Both Thursday and Friday nights I'd gone out and got ridiculously drunk, attempting to forget everything that was going on. It kind of worked, until I woke up the following day and reality hit me like a sledgehammer. I had a massive argument with my Dad before work on Friday morning about his impromptu visit to Blaine's office which meant we weren't talking and there was a lot of tension in the house

I read the text again and then threw my phone away from me. Why couldn't Blaine just stop thinking about everything with his stupid psychologist brain and leave me alone? It wouldn't be beneficial for me to be formally rejected by him in person, why didn't he get that? Surely he can't be that idiotic? Sometimes the best course of action is just to leave things well alone.

After a much needed shower, a couple of headache tablets and a strong cup of coffee to wake myself up a bit, I sat down on the edge of my bed and reluctantly typed out a text to Blaine, seeing as he'd left me little choice.

_There's nothing to talk about, which is why I haven't been in contact. I'm sure my Dad summed things up perfectly anyway._

_So you have been getting my texts/calls? :) I have to disagree though; I think we have a lot to talk about. Blaine._

_We'll just have to agree to disagree then because I see no point in meeting up._

_Oh no, there's every point in meeting up. Blaine._

_Well my answer is no._

_Then I'll still see you tomorrow regardless. Blaine._

_Are you for real? BTW I apologise about my Dad, he had no right to show up at your work place._

_There's no need to apologise, he's just worried about you Kurt. Whether you agree or disagree to see me we need to resolve this so yes I am for real about tomorrow. Blaine._

_Resolve what exactly? I've developed feelings for you, that's my problem not yours. I'd really appreciate it if you kept out of my business and I'd rather not embarrass myself over an awkward coffee meeting._

_Kurt please meet with me, I'd rather it were a voluntary thing than having to turn up at your house. Blaine._

_Haven't you been reading my texts?_

_Yes I have. Blaine._

_Then why can't you get the message and just leave me be?_

_We need to talk and as I've said, no is not an option. I just can't do this through texting or via the phone. Blaine._

_Can't do what? Tell me what an idiot I am and give me a text book lecture on my misguided stupidity? I'm fully aware of all of that already thanks._

_You're not an idiot. Right here's the plan; I'll be at Breadstix tomorrow at 5pm. If you don't show by half past I'll be coming to your house. Either way I'll see you tomorrow Kurt. Take care. Blaine.__  
><em>  
>I groaned and wished the ground would just swallow me up so I didn't have to deal with all this. If it wasn't for work on Monday morning I'd jump in my car and leave the state for a few days, or a few weeks. Nerves and anxiety had already started to set in, like it or not I had to face Blaine tomorrow. Like it or not I was going to get my heart broken all over again.<p>

Maybe I was being immature by not facing my issues head on, but surely it was my prerogative? I left my room and went downstairs. As I was putting my coat on by the front door, Dad appeared in the hallway, looking sheepish.

'Er Kurt, can we-'

'Leave it Dad; I'm really not in the mood right now,' I snapped.

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?' Dad pleaded.

'You can say it until you're blue in the face; it doesn't change the fact that what you did was completely out of order.'

'But-'

'You can't just barge into someone's work place like that.'

'I know, but I was just trying to help,' Dad shrugged.

'I'm twenty four, not eight. I don't need you fighting my battles for me.'

'But you're still my son, whether you're a day old or fifty.'

'Well you didn't help, you made things ten times worse.'

'I just don't like seeing you so down. You'd been doing so well and-'

'I'm not interested in your excuses, and thanks to you he's threatening to turn up here tomorrow.'

'Blaine is?'

'Who else?' I rolled my eyes.

'Well that's a good thing right?'

'What's good about that?'

'You two need to talk,' Dad replied and I groaned loudly.

'Not you as well.'

'Kurt you can't bury your head in the sand all the time.'

'Yes I can,' I retorted before opening the front door and slamming it behind me. Right, time to get drunk again.


	11. Chapter 11

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

'I think I'll have… the spaghetti and a large coke please.'

The waitress took my menu and then I was sat on my own, waiting. I looked at my watch even though I'd only looked at it seconds before, and it read 17:05. Well if Kurt was coming I never expected him to be on time.

The truth was I had no idea whether Kurt was going to turn up or not, as he hadn't replied to the last text I sent him informing him of my plan to wait for him here. I drummed my fingers on the table, I was feeling nervous and on edge which was really unlike me. The only time I ever got like this was with people I like... well guys I like to be more precise. I didn't even have the head space to feel self-conscious about sitting in a restaurant on my own, something I would never really do. My phone beeped and my heart beat quickened at the thought it might be Kurt. I composed myself before looking, but it turned out to be a text from Cooper instead.

_Has he showed up?_

_No not yet. I feel sick. Blaine._

_Aww._

_Aww?! Blaine._

_You're nervous Blaine, it's sweet._

_Am I doing the right thing here? Blaine._

_Of course you are, don't start reanalysing everything. We've been through it a hundred times._

_Ok. Sorry I'm just panicking. Blaine._

_The fact you're so nervous shows how much Kurt means to you. Just go with your heart._

_Thanks Coop, you're the best. Blaine._

_I am pretty amazing :)_

Fifteen minutes later I was tucking into my spaghetti. I couldn't enjoy as much as usual as obviously my head was completely elsewhere. There was still no sign of Kurt arriving. I really didn't want to have to go to his house and make a scene. What if he'd convinced his Dad and Step Mom not to let me in? What if he'd disappeared somewhere or was drowning his thoughts at the bottom of a glass? I know Kurt was apprehensive and didn't want to have to face me but the sooner it was all sorted out the happier both of us would be.

I glanced around the restaurant again, for about the hundredth time since I got here, I'm sure people were starting to look at me in pity thinking I'd been stood up. Then I took a sharp intake of breath as my eyes landed on Kurt, standing by the entrance. Ok, so he was every bit as stunning as I remembered, which immediately reduced by IQ by about twenty five points.

He was studying the tables, searching for me. I stood up and waved, which caught his eye. He didn't smile at me; in fact he looked disappointed to see me which made my stomach sink. Kurt started walking over and came to a stop beside the table, looking incredibly awkward. His eyes were bloodshot and I guessed he'd probably been out drinking all afternoon but I wasn't going to mention it. We all have our coping strategies after all.

'Thank you for coming,' I said as we both sat down, Kurt opposite me, folding his arms across his chest. 'I was really starting to think you wouldn't bother, so I'm really pleased to see you.'

'Mnhmmm' he muttered.

'At lease I don't have to interrupt your household now,' I joked, trying to ease a bit of the tension out, but no such luck.

'Well I can't really walk away from you in my own house can I?' he retorted. 'This was the lesser of two evils.'

'Kurt, do you mind me asking why you're being so defensive with me? I just want to talk, I'm really not out to be malicious, to embarrass you or-'

'I'm sorry,' Kurt immediately softened, looking a little guilty. 'I'm just nervous and... well I do feel embarrassed I guess.'

'Why?'

'Why?' he scoffed. He looked away from me for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. 'The first guy that I ever develop true feelings for and he thinks it's wise to drag me to a restaurant to tell me the feeling isn't mutual? It's not exactly what I had in mind for this evening. I get that it's in your nature to want to talk everything through considering what you do for a living, but seriously Blaine, some things are best left alone. You should really respect other people's wishes and privacy and not force your own methods on them.'

Kurt looked away from me again. He really had absolutely no idea how I felt about him, no wonder he'd been ignoring me like the plague these past few weeks. He'd convinced himself I wanted to give him some sort of "therapist speech" about unrequited love or something. I felt like laughing but didn't think that would go down too well at the moment. Kurt was fragile and I'd caused him utter misery.

I closed my eyes and took a few shallow breaths; it was the time to be honest. 'Ok, Kurt, um... let me put aside the circumstances in which we got to know each other. The thing is, I'm very attracted to you.' Kurt's eyes found mine, wide and confused, and my heart started to beat wildly under his gaze. 'You're a beautiful and amazing person Kurt and any man would be lucky to be able to call you his boyfriend and have you on their arm.'

'But?' Kurt asked quietly, and I could see he was waiting for the rejection. His whole body language was one of pure dejection and lost hope. I moved my plate aside and leaned forwards, clasping my hands together on the table.

'There isn't-'

'Can I get you anything?' the waitress asked Kurt, interrupting my flow. I hadn't even noticed her come over to the table. I almost swore out loud, but settled for a quiet sigh instead.

'Um... just a diet coke please,' Kurt smiled.

'Regular or large?'

'Regular please.' He looked back at me once she'd gone and nodded for me to continue, still expecting some therapy nonsense from me about how we could never be in a relationship.

'There isn't a but Kurt,' I told him quietly and that just seemed to puzzle him even further.

'I don't understand.'

'I'm just gonna say it and put it out there.'

'Say what?' he frowned.

'I've been falling for you ever since that night we got stuck in the elevator.'

There. I said it. The truth was out there and it felt so good after all this time of misunderstandings and mixed feelings. Kurt was looking shocked, his mouth open slightly. He was absolutely still and I would have paid anything to know what he was thinking. It didn't look as though he was going to make any attempt to respond so I decided it was best to carry on whilst I had his full attention.

'Kurt, we both know you've been through a lot. I'm so incredibly proud of the progress you've made and all I want is for you to be happy in yourself. I want you to wake up every morning and think, yeah life's pretty good actually.'

'I... I don't know what, um...' Kurt mumbled, looking incredibly cute and bewildered.

'The thing is Kurt, only you can know when the time is right to step into a relationship with someone. You know, maybe the best thing for you would be to casually go on a few dates with different guys to gain experience and confidence... I don't know. But I want you to do what's right for _you_. No knee jerk reactions, just really think it through.'

'W-what are you saying?' Kurt whispered, putting his hands on the table. They were only a few inches away from mine and the temptation to reach out to him was overwhelming. Kurt's eyes were shining with unshed tears, causing my heart to melt.

'I'm saying...' I started to say carefully, smiling at him. '...that the balls in your court. If and when you're ready I would love to take you out on a proper romantic "I like you much more than friends" date... if that's something you'd like of course.'

'What? Really?' Kurt asked me in total disbelief.

'Yes really,' I laughed, utterly enthralled by Kurt's adorableness. He bit down on his bottom lip and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand before looking back to me.

'It... it just never occurred to me that you'd... have feelings like that for me.'

'I was the one that initiated our kiss remember?' I reminded him. Kurt played with the straw in his diet coke, which I hadn't even notice arrive. What had that waitress overheard? As far as I was concerned Kurt and I were the only two people in the world right now.

'I know you initiated the kiss, but... I thought you were just caught up in the moment, that it didn't really mean anything to you in the long run. You were so apologetic about it afterwards, as though it were a mistake.'

'It took me a little while to realise how I felt about you,' I admitted. 'I was getting my professional and personal thoughts mixed up. Not that I agree, but my friends will tell you I can be a bit... slow.'

'Wes did mention something,' Kurt smiled for the first time and I laughed. 'But Blaine, you were my psychologist... isn't that a bit...'

'Unusual? Yeah of course it is. But it doesn't bother me Kurt.'

'Really? Are you sure?'

'Of course,' I told him and I was getting lost in his eyes which were full of hope and uncertainty. 'I have to admit I struggled at first with the whole moral issue but I think I was just trying to find excuses not to give in to my true feelings, after all it would have been a lot easier to try and stay away and forget about you. That night we met at The Loop was several weeks after our last session and also you were no longer our client by then.'

Kurt shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. 'This is really... I just didn't expect this at all.'

'You thought I wanted to give you some sort of patronising lecture on one sided crushes?'

Kurt nodded. 'Pretty much.'

'Kurt, there's no pressure ok? I don't even want you to decide right now, I'd much rather you gave it some consideration first. Like I said before, maybe you'll come to the conclusion that a relationship isn't even what you want or need at the moment.'

'Right,' he replied.

'Do you want to get something to eat? It's on me of course.'

'Um...'

I tilted my head to one side as I watched Kurt look away from me and down into his lap. His breathing had become extremely shallow and I could see his hands were shaking. Oh fuck, was he having a-

'I... I c-can't breathe,' Kurt whispered, his voice shaking. Before I had a chance to reply he was gone, heading for the exit at lightning speed. I shot up, fumbled with my wallet from my trouser pocket and flung $20 dollars on the table before racing after him outside.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I just kept walking. But I couldn't breathe, my throat was tightening up, my heart was trying to burst out of my chest and my legs were shaking like crazy. I was dying, I was sure of it. I was having a heart attack and I was going to die at the road side. But I don't want to die, not now. I know I tried to in the past but I want to live, _please_.

Then as expected, I heard Blaine's voice behind me. 'Kurt, stop... Kurt, please.'

I didn't look around but he caught me up a few seconds later, just as my legs felt as though they were going to give way. Blaine's hands rested lightly on my shoulders and he guided me to the edge of the sidewalk, making me sit down. I put my head in my hands.

'It's ok, you're just having a panic attack,' Blaine said softly, resting a hand on my back. 'Take some slow deep breaths; you're going to be fine.'

'Are y-you sure?' I asked.

'Positive,' he replied. 'Just breathe Kurt, nice and slow.'

Sure enough as the minutes passed my breathing returned to normal and the shaking subsided. The feeling of dread was replaced by the feeling of total stupidity and embarrassment. I'd had a fucking panic attack in front of Blaine. What the hell did he see in me? I still had my head in my hands and was quite happy to stay like that forever so I didn't have to face him.

'Are you ok?' Blaine asked. 'Can you sit up more?'

'Yeah I guess,' I replied, reluctantly lifting up my head as Blaine's hand left my back. 'I'm so sorry Blaine, you must think-'

'Hey, don't do that to yourself. It's all my fault for putting too much pressure on you.'

'No it's not,' I replied. 'It's just I...'

'What's wrong?' Blaine asked me quietly. 'Talk to me Kurt, tell me what you're feeling.'

'I don't think I can deal with this. It all seems so... so easy.'

'That's a bad thing?' Blaine smiled and my heart fluttered.

'Fantasises aren't supposed to become realities,' I whispered. 'I'm having trouble getting my head around it... it seems too good to be true, something's bound to go wrong.'

I really shouldn't have spent all afternoon at a bar drinking, I couldn't think clearly. But I'd been so anxious about seeing Blaine I had to calm myself down somehow. He was watching me now with a concerned but soft expression. He was so gorgeous, what on earth would he want with someone like me? He could have literally anyone. I didn't understand it at all.

'Blaine, do you have any idea how amazing you are?'

Blaine smiled coyly and I could see his cheeks go a little pink. 'Oh I don't know about that.'

'You are though. You're intelligent, you've got a great job and you're incredibly good looking.'

'Well um, thanks,' Blaine blushed even more which gave me butterflies in my tummy.

'You're a total catch Blaine. Let's be real here, you could literally have any guy you wanted and-'

'Stop-'

'No but you could Blaine. Don't you get it? You don't have to burden yourself with someone as damaged as me, you could-'

'Stop stop stop,' Blaine shouted, taking my hands in his and staring straight into my eyes with determination.

'Kurt, you're scared of getting hurt, I understand that. That's why I've asked you to think this through before deciding. I... I can't give you any promises, I wish I could but life just isn't like that. But I can promise you that I have really strong feelings for you and that you're the only guy that occupies my thoughts, and I have no intention of ever hurting you. I'm not interested in anyone else right now. Just you. It's been you since our elevator fun.'

I guess couldn't really argue with any of that. Blaine wasn't going to lie to me was he? He wasn't going to step into a relationship with someone for no reason. 'So, quick recap, you're um... asking me out on a date?' I asked shyly.

'Yes,' he smiled adorably.

'But... Blaine, you know how I've been... what I went through. Are you really sure you'd want to settle for someone who-'

'No, don't you dare talk like that,' Blaine interrupted me angrily. 'I know you're insecurities are going to play on your mind and try to smother the positives, but please don't ever doubt what I'm telling you.'

'Ok,' I apologised with a nod.

'Are you ok to stand now?

'Yeah I'm fine now. Thanks for coming after me.'

'I'll always come after you,' Blaine said quietly and my brain went to complete mush. 'Can I give you a ride home?'

'That would be great, yeah.'

'Unless you want to go back into Breadsticks and get your free meal?' Blaine smirked.

'Thanks, but I don't think I could eat anything right now.'

'Ok.'

Blaine stood up and then helped me to my feet, our hands parting and I immediately missed the feeling. I followed Blaine over to his car. It was quite relaxing sitting in the passenger seat, watching Blaine change gears, look in his mirrors and occasionally smile over at me. I noticed he bit down on his bottom lip at moments of total concentration and it made him look so incredibly cute.

We pulled up outside my house and I undid my seatbelt before turning to Blaine. 'Thank you.'

'Anytime,' he smiled. 'Are you glad we met up now?'

'Yeah,' I laughed. Then gaining courage from god knows where, I leaned forwards, closing my eyes and pressed my lips to his, soft and sweet. I heard him gasp slightly at the back of his throat. I pulled back and when I opened my eyes I was met by the most beautiful and intense look.

'You know where I am,' Blaine said quietly, finding my hand and squeezing it.

* * *

><p>Sober brain. Sober thoughts. Unless I'd been dreaming, yesterday Blaine Anderson told me that he had feelings for me. <em>Me<em>. Can you believe it? It was like I was living in some weird parallel universe or something.

He also said he wanted to take me out on a date (tiny squeak). He said it was up to me, that it was my decision. To top it all off I kissed him before getting out of his car. Fuck I _kissed_ him. Oh god was that too forward? Did it make me look too-

'Kurt?'

I jumped. I was thoroughly pulled out of my Blaine filled thoughts to see one of the other teachers at my school, Lucy, smiling at me with amusement. I could only imagine how I must have looked during my dissection of last night. It was lunchtime and I was sitting in the teacher's room having a much needed strong coffee and a couple of painkillers after spending the past four days wallowing in far too much alcohol. I was never doing that again. Never ever. Well probably never. Hmm... anyway...

'Sorry, I was miles away,' I said to Lucy as I lifted my coffee mug and took a sip.

'Good weekend?' she asked.

'Far too much alcohol,' I laughed, pointing at the tablets on the table in front of me. 'But other than that not bad. You?'

'Just a quiet one with my husband, doing some home improvements.'

'You've got him well trained,' I teased and we both laughed.

We chatted for the rest of our break and I hardly felt uncomfortable at all. I was getting so much better at socialising with other people and not feeling a nervous wreck all the time. I was still a bit anxious about the subject of relationships coming up, but I don't think that would ever get better... well unless I was in a relationship of course.

Oh god, and now I'm back to thoughts of gorgeous Blaine. Just don't over think it Kurt, you're besotted by him and he likes you too. Go with it, it's only a date. _One_ date.

I got back home at four that afternoon and sat on the sofa in the living room with my phone in my hand, wondering what on earth I was going to say to Blaine. It took nearly fifteen minutes before I was finally satisfied with the text I'd been composing and pressed send.

_Hi Blaine, I've just got home but not sure whether you're still working so I thought it would be safer to text. I know this might seem too soon but I've thought about nothing else for the past 24 hours and the answer is yes whether I tell you now or in a week. I'd really like to go on a date with you if the offer is still there. K x_

Even though Blaine had been the one to ask me out, I suddenly felt nervous about his response. What if he didn't respond? Was the x too much at the end? Could he have changed his mind this yesterday?

But my worries were completely unfounded and I got a reply from him an hour later, his own little x at the end of his text making my heart flutter. We ended up texting each other for the rest of the evening and my cheeks became painful from too much smiling, but it wasn't an unwelcome feeling.

_Of course the offer is still there and if you're sure(?) that's all that matters :) Bx_

_I'm sure that I'm sure lol. K x_

_Good :) I've just come out of a very boring meeting and your texts have made me smile for the first time today. Dinner on Friday night? Bx_

_Rough day? :( Do you want me to tell you some lame jokes? K x_

_Haha just getting a text from you is enough to make me happy :) Work is a bit stressful at the moment, too much pen pushing and not enough hands on work. Bx_

_I thought you had a PA to do all your admin? K x_

_Cut backs, we all have to share one person now. Anyway enough about work what are you doing right now? :) Bx_

_I'm searching the internet for first date tips. Is that sad? K x_

_Aww of course not, but honestly Kurt you don't need any tips, just be yourself. Bx_

_But that's what I'm worried about. K x_

_Being yourself? Don't be Kurt, you're amazing! Bx_

_You really think so? :) K x_

_Of course I do. I wouldn't be asking you out otherwise. Now stop overanalysing everything and take a deep breath! Bx_

_You know me too well lol. Thanks. I'll still be nervous though. K x_

_It's natural to feel a bit nervous, I will be too. Bx_

_Well that makes me feel a bit better. So what are you doing with your evening? K x_

_I've just eaten a microwaved meal for one and now Joey is asleep on my lap. Bx_

_That's given me such a cute image in my head. K x_

_I should bring Joey along to our date he's way cuter than me. Bx_

_He should be if he takes after his Daddy :) K x_

_*blushes* Hey you never did answer my question about dinner...? Bx_

_Oops sorry. Dinner sounds great. Anywhere in mind? K x_

_There's a great new Mexican restaurant in the same street as The Loop I've been wanting to try out, but anywhere's fine really. Do you have a preference? Bx_

_I love Mexican that sounds perfect. K x_

_It's a date then :) Bx_

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

Why was getting dressed so bloody difficult? Why did it make my stomach feel like it was tied into thousands of little knots? I was stood in my underpants flicking through the clothes in my wardrobe and yet nothing was ticking the boxes. Was I being too picky? Sure it wasn't tea with the Queen of England, but it was my first date with Kurt and his first date ever. It had to be special right? Oh god, I was stealing his first date. What if I underdressed? Or overdressed? Or-

'Chill the fuck out,' I said to myself, stepping away from the wardrobe and turning around. Joey was sitting on my bed, watching me with amusement. 'You think this is funny do you? I'm in turmoil here. I can't even imagine what Kurt feels right now. Am I doing the right thing in asking him out?'

Joey yapped, making me laugh and feel instantly calmer.

'Was that yap "yes you're doing the right thing" or "shut up and give me food"?'

Joey yapped again, and then he jumped up and off my bed, leaving the room. I guess he was talking about food then. I looked at the clock on my bedside table, in forty minutes I had to leave for Kurt's house. Fuck, back to the fashion crisis. Where were Nick and Jeff when you needed them?


	12. Chapter 12

_~KURT'S POV~_

Blaine was due to pick me up in half an hour. I'd been feeling sick with nerves ever since I woke up this morning. So many negative thoughts were racing through my mind. What if Blaine didn't turn up? What if he ended the date saying he'd made a terrible mistake in asking me out? Oh god, _breath_ Kurt, breath. Think happy thoughts.

Having changed my outfit about ten... ok twenty times, I looked at the finished product in the mirror, finally satisfied. I'd gone with a purple shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, dark blue skinny jeans and black boots. I could almost see the old Kurt from years ago staring back at me.

I went downstairs and walked into the living room and over to the window, pulling the curtains aside to peer out onto the road. No sign of Blaine yet. I heard someone behind me and turned around to see my Dad standing in the doorway.

'Hey Dad.'

'So, are we all ok now kid?' Dad asked me and I smiled at him.

'I guess,' I replied. We hadn't really talked much since last Saturday, just mumbled greetings and small talk.

'I really am sorry Kurt.'

'I know. But you'd do it again though right?'

'I would,' Dad sighed, looking guilty. 'Kurt, your solution of running away from everything isn't healthy. It's best to face things head on.'

'Yes sir,' I mocked light-heartedly.

'So um... a date with Blaine huh?'

'Yep,' I nodded.

'He seems like a nice guy.'

'He is.'

'How old is he?'

'Twenty eight.'

'Right... does he make a habit of taking his clients out on dates?'

'_Dad_.'

'Sorry,' Dad apologised, putting his hands up. 'I can't help wanting to protect you.'

'You don't need to protect me from Blaine. He's the nicest guy I've ever met.'

'What about me?' Dad laughed.

'No sorry, he's even nicer.'

'If you say so. Does Blaine think any of this is even slightly unprofessional?'

'Actually he transferred me to his colleague after that night we saw him in the restaurant, that's how professional he is Dad, and then we didn't even see each other for several weeks.'

'It's definitely over between him and that guy he was arguing with?'

'Yeah that's been over ever since that night.'

'Were they arguing about you?'

I laughed and shook my head. 'I told you nothing happened whilst I was having sessions. I didn't even know he was gay until that night.'

'Ok.'

'You do believe me right?'

'Of course,' Dad smiled. 'I'm sorry; I'm trying to get my head around all this. I don't want you getting hurt.'

'I won't.'

'I hope he knows you're missing the Hummel Friday night dinner for this date,' Dad said with a little huff, making me laugh. My attentions were suddenly drawn to the sound of a car pulling up outside. My pulse sped up and I took a deep breath. Dad patted me on the shoulder. 'Just relax. Have a good time.'

'Thanks,' I smiled. I walked into the hallway and the bell went.

I took a moment to compose myself and then opened the front door to find the most gorgeous man ever standing there, smiling at me. My mouth dropped open slightly as I took in his appearance. He was wearing an extremely well fitted and expensive looking suit, pale blue shirt and an adorable spotted bowtie. His hair was gelled down and I briefly wondered if I was ever going to be privileged to the sight of Blaine's natural curls.

'Hi,' Blaine said with the most amazing smile.

'Wow, don't you look dapper,' I swooned, leaning against the door frame. He really did look amazing, and to think all that effort was for little old me. 'The bow tie is so adorable.'

'I'm sorry, is it too much?' he apologised, smoothing down some invisible creases on his suit jacket.

'No of course not, it's just... I feel a bit underdressed now.'

'No, Kurt you look stunning,' Blaine whispered, his eyes travelling up and down my body, rendering me a blushing and mumbling idiot. 'I love that shirt on you, great colour.'

'T-thanks... is this your fashion side coming out to play?'

'I guess. What I wear is pretty boring though, but when you're in a job that only requires you to wear suits you can't really go wrong. I probably could do with more casual clothes.'

'Hmm I'll have to take you shopping some time,' I smiled and Blaine narrowed his eyes.

'Is that a threat or an invitation?' he asked and I laughed. Did Blaine think I was insulting his style?

'Oh no I'm not saying you need a makeover, you don't, not at all. You're clothes are... well they're just... the thing is suits are great and everything and you seriously rock the dapper look... but it can't hurt to have a second pair of eyes to-' I stopped talking and smirked at Blaine who was laughing so hard his eyes had started to water. 'I should stop digging my own grave now huh?'

'Are you ready to go? Or shall we start on my hair next?'

'Shut up.'

I followed Blaine to his car, and we listened to the radio whilst he drove us to the restaurant. Once we were seated at our table and had menus in our hands we both started to speak at the same time.

'Do you want to share-'

'So Blaine how was-'

We laughed and Blaine hit himself on the head with his menu. 'What are we like?'

'Maybe we should have stayed on the doorstep,' I suggested and Blaine giggled causing my stomach to do summersaults. 'You go first.'

'I was just asking if you wanted to share a starter,' Blaine said.

'Oh... um, yeah ok,' I replied, scanning the menu. 'What do you like? I like nachos or-'

'I love nachos, let's get nachos,' Blaine said excitedly.

'What about all the other options?'

'But _nachos_ Kurt.'

'Ok,' I laughed.

'So what were you going to say?' Blaine asked.

'Oh I was just being boring and asking how your week had been at work?'

'Difficult. Well I told you about the admin problem we were having? That hasn't got much better, we've got a staff meeting coming up next week so hopefully it can be resolved then.'

'Are you not very good on computers and stuff?' I asked.

'It's not that, it's the sheer volume of stuff to do. I fully understand trying to save money wherever you can, but not at the expense of having to cut two clients a day. I didn't become a psychologist just so I could spend three hours a day filling in forms and licking envelopes.'

Blaine was really passionate about his work and it was lovely to see. I loved that he cared so much about people and it wasn't just a job for him. 'You're really invested in the work you do aren't you?'

Blaine nodded and smiled. 'Yeah, I love what I do. And I'm not trying to dismiss all the paperwork involved and I'm not lazy I just know it makes economic sense to pay someone else to do the majority of it and the extra clients you can fit it more than covers it.'

'Well that makes perfect sense.'

'Thanks. Let's hope the bosses come round to my way of thinking. So how has your week been? Have you settled into your new school?'

'Yeah I'm really enjoying it. It's a bit daunting at times having twenty kids looking to you for guidance and inspiration but it's a challenge... a good one.'

'I bet all the kids love you.'

'Oh I don't know,' I shrugged.

'Being a child is the best.'

'Yeah,' I agreed. 'It's fascinating that they have no worries whatsoever and they can literally talk all day about their favourite cartoon or whose better Superman or Spiderman.'

'Definitely Superman,' Blaine said and I laughed.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'Thank you,' I said to the waitress as she put our mains on the table for us.

'Can I get you guys anything else?'

'No thanks,' Kurt answered. The waitress walked away, leaving us alone again.

'So Kurt, what did the internet say about first date tips?' I asked.

'Oh god,' Kurt groaned, blushing a little which was adorable. 'Um, keep eye contact, don't talk too much about yourself, compliment your date; don't eat with your mouth full, stuff like that.'

'Oooh I like compliments,' I said with a smirk and Kurt rolled his eyes at me.

'Stop fishing,' he said playfully and we both laughed. 'Tell me about your brother.'

'He's not gay, sorry,' I teased.

'You know what I meant,' Kurt smiled, trying to laugh.

'Ok. Well Cooper lives in LA. He's thirty four and since he left college he's been working as an actor. But he still hasn't got his big break yet.'

'How does he get by financially then?'

'He does get work, but just an odd episode of a tv show now and again, commercials and stage work.'

'Are you two close?'

'Yeah we are. We fought and argued all the time growing up and we annoy the hell out of each other, but we'd always fight each others corners and be there if the other one needed us. I can't wait for you to meet him.'

'Really?' Kurt asked in surprise.

'Yeah, I've told him all about you and it was Cooper's idea to threaten turning up at your house.'

Kurt laughed, but then he turned serious as a thought struck him. 'Did you tell him that-'

'No of course not. Kurt, you know I would never break anyone's confidence like that. I just told him you were once a client where I worked, that's all.'

'Oh ok. Well I'd love to meet him some time.'

'Cool,' I replied and then I heard my phone beep. 'I'm really sorry,' I apologised, pulling my phone out of my pocket. 'I'm not being rude or anti-social, I just always have to check in case it's a client emergency.'

'You don't need to apologise,' Kurt smiled. 'I understand.'

I stared at him for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. We were still in the middle of our first date but he already 'got' me. It was more than Mark ever did. We had epic rows whenever a weekend or evening had been disrupted by my need to go to a psychiatric hospital or help police out with enquiries. I was relieved to see it wasn't about work though; it was just a text from Wes.

_Well? How's the date going? You're not wearing a stupid suit are you? Has Kirk dumped you yet? Tell him I said hi. Shit I dropped my pizza on the floor. Damn you Anderson! WES._

I rolled my eyes and laughed before putting my phone back and looking at Kurt. 'A text from Wes.'

'What made you laugh?' Kurt asked.

'He's wondering if I've bored you to death yet... he says hi by the way. Oh god that reminds me, my old school friends and I have been arranging a Warblers reunion... sorry to steal your idea.'

'It's fine,' Kurt laughed.

'Well anyway, it's next Saturday at Dalton.'

'Great,' Kurt replied. 'Good idea having it at your old school, we should have done that for ours.'

'Would you like to come? You know, as my plus one? I'd really like you to.'

'Me?' Kurt asked shyly.

'Yes you,' I said, reaching out and taking his hand in mine. Ok, so that felt really nice. Kurt's hand was soft and warm. His eyes were wide and surprised as though I'd just asked if he wanted a million dollars. It was beyond cute. 'But no pressure if you don't feel up to it.'

'I'd love to come,' he smiled, squeezing my hand gently.

'Good. It should be a great night and you'll get to meet Jeff's boyfriend Nick, they're sickeningly sweet together.'

'Aww. They've been together a long time right?'

'Yeah, since school. We didn't think they would last through college but they did. They're soul mates.'

'You believe in soul mates?' Kurt asked quietly.

'Um... yeah I do,' I replied. 'Do you?'

Kurt thought for a moment. 'I've not really thought about it before. I like to think there is a soul mate for everyone out there... I'm open to being convinced.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I was on cloud nine. What on earth was cloud nine anyway? I'd have to google that later. Anyway, my date with Blaine last night had been amazing and massively exceeded all my expectations. We sat talking for two hours after we finished our desserts and Blaine was the perfect gentleman and walked me to my front door, kissing me softly on the lips before saying goodnight.

I may have skipped up the stairs to my room like an excited child, but it was my first ever date so don't judge me. It was Saturday morning now and I was looking at the text I'd woken up to an hour ago, savouring the warm feeling in my tummy.

_Morning beautiful :) I had an amazing time last night, I've been telling Joey all about you. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow? Bx_

_An alien invasion wouldn't stop me from having lunch with you tomorrow! K x_

_That's quite an imagination you've got there Hummel. Bx_

'_Kurt_.'

I put my phone down on my bed and walked out of my room to see what Carole wanted. I stood at the top of the stairs. 'Yeah?'

'Delivery for you in the kitchen.'

'Oh, ok.'

I was vaguely aware the bell had gone a couple of minutes ago, but I don't remember ordering anything. Had I sleep or drunk shopped or something? I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen and froze on the spot. Sitting on the table was the biggest most gorgeous bouquet of flowers I had ever seen in my life.

'For me?' I asked and Carole nodded, smiling at me.

I walked up to the table and pulled out the little envelope that was in amongst the flowers. I took the card out with slightly shaking fingers and read what was written. _Thinking of you. Blaine x_

'Wow,' I whispered, feeling a huge wave of love for him. I swallowed thickly, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to fall, and for once they were happy tears. I was a complete soppy mess.

'They're gorgeous,' Carole said, leaning down to take in their scent. 'So you had a good time last night?'

'The best,' I smiled. 'Oh Carole, he's so... I can't even describe it. He's just amazing.'

'You're completely smitten aren't you?' she asked and I nodded. 'I'm really happy for you Kurt, if anyone deserves their life being turned around, it's you.'

'Thanks,' I said with a strained voice and gave Carole a quick hug.

'Well he's definitely a keeper that one, I can't remember the last time Burt gave me flowers.'

We both laughed, my Dad was the nicest man on the planet, but romance? Not really his thing. I always picked out Carole's birthday and Christmas present every year for him, he just didn't have a clue. If left to his own devices he'd probably buy Carole a new toaster or something equally drab and boring.

'Did someone mention my name?' Dad said walking into the kitchen but stopping to stare at the flowers and then at Carole.

'What are those?' he accused.

'They're not mine,' she told him, laughing at his expression and he gave a sigh of relief.

'Blaine sent them,' I smiled.

'Well... that's ok then. So your date went well?'

'It was great... oh and Dad?'

'Yeah?'

'Buy Carole some flowers.'

'Jesus Kurt, your boyfriend is making me look bad.'

Did he say boyfriend? Oh my god, were we boyfriends? I don't think Blaine would class us as that. Or would he? I should probably stop fretting over it right? But boyfriends? Eeeeek!

Ten minutes later I was sitting on my bed, looking at my flowers I'd put on my dressing table. I dialled Blaine's number. 'Hello?' he answered on the first ring.

'You're adorable,' I told him.

'Why thank you,' he giggled.

'Thank you so much for the flowers, they're beautiful and were such a lovely surprise.'

'Oh you got flowers did you?' Blaine asked, pretending to sound annoyed. 'Do I have competition?'

'You're so silly.'

'Well you bring out my silly side Kurt.'

'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?' I asked.

'A very good thing.'

'Well I'm happy to be of service then. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.'

'Me too, I'm missing you already. Is that weird?'

'No,' I replied with the biggest grin on my face. 'I feel the same.'

* * *

><p>Blaine told me via text that he would be near the fountain, so as I walked through the park towards it I was getting more and more excited about seeing him. Was it normal to feel like this about someone after only one date? Was I setting myself up for a big fall?<p>

Ok so Blaine had been the one to initiate our first ever kiss, and he was the one that asked me out and he sent me the huge bouquet of flowers... so why couldn't I help wondering if it was all just one big dream? _Oh fuck off negative thoughts_. Sure enough as soon as I saw him my brain emptied and was filled with goo instead.

Blaine was sitting on a blanket on the grass, a picnic basket beside him and the most adorable little puppy I'd ever seen jumping all over him as he giggled. My heart melted at the sight of them, it was possibly the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

I walked over to them, Blaine's back to me, and tried to ignore the thumping of my heart. 'Hi,' I said quietly and Blaine whipped round, beaming up at me, squinting in the sunlight and scoring an extra million cute points. Seriously, could he get any more perfect?

'Hey,' he replied, standing up. The puppy ran up to me, trying to jump up my legs.

'This is Joey then?' I laughed, bending down to stroke his head. 'Hello you, you're just gorgeous.'

Blaine picked him up. 'Yep, this is my little Joey. Sorry, he gets excitable when he meets new people.'

'He's so cute Blaine; I can see why you couldn't resist.'

'I know, I can't help myself when it comes to adorable things.'

Blaine winked at me and I blushed as bright as a tomato. Oh what a great start to our date. 'Well I'll have to keep a close eye on you then.'

'Oh don't worry, I'm not good at multitasking so can't cope with more than two cute things in my life.'

'You're ridiculous,' I laughed and Blaine stuck his tongue out at me. We sat down on the blanket and Joey began jumping around again and yapping.

'Joey sit,' Blaine ordered and Joey obeyed, his tongue sticking out as he looked at Blaine expectantly. Blaine took a plate and some food from the basket and put it down for Joey, who started to devour it at lightning speed. 'That should keep him quiet for thirty seconds,' Blaine said and I laughed.

'I don't think I've never been to this park before.'

'Don't you like it?' Blaine asked, looking slightly put out.

'Oh no, I love it... I just... never really had a need to go to parks before.'

'Well you might be seeing a lot more of them because I'm a little obsessed with picnics.'

'I can get on board with that,' I smiled. 'Although maybe not in the depths of winter.'

'Indoor picnics,' Blaine beamed, making me laugh.

'I look forward to it,' I replied.

Blaine's hand found mine and I looked down as he stroked his thumb lightly over my knuckles. How could such a small gesture feel so goddamn good? I sighed happily and as I lifted my head to look at Blaine, his lips found mine, soft and sweet, applying just a little pressure. I placed my free hand on Blaine's cheek, deepening the kiss more before pulling away feeling slightly flustered. Blaine's eye caught something and he laughed. I looked to see Joey staring at us, his head tilted to the side with a bemused expression.

'I don't think he likes me kissing his Daddy,' I said as Blaine reached out to stroke him.

'He'll have to learn to share.' Joey yawned and curled up beside Blaine's leg. 'So... I spoke to Wes last night; the preparations for Saturday are all go.'

'Have you decided on performances?' I asked.

'Well because everyone is likely to get drunk we're doing a Warblers set at the beginning, about five numbers, and then the mic will be free for anyone to have a go.'

'Oh wow, I can't wait to see that,' I said excitedly.

'I'll probably completely embarrass you.'

I shook my head. 'Never. Don't put yourself down, you're an amazing singer and you're just out of practice with performing.'

'I guess,' Blaine shrugged. 'Are you hungry? I've got sandwiches.'

'I'm starving,' I replied. I'd been too nervous since I woke up this morning to eat anything so completely skipped breakfast.

'Well I wasn't sure what you liked so I've got ham, cheese, tuna, chicken salad-'

'You didn't have to go to so much trouble Blaine.'

'It was no trouble,' he smiled. 'It's only sandwiches.' But it wasn't _only_ sandwiches. If only he knew. Fuck I was hopelessly in love with this man.

'I'll have the chicken salad please.'

Blaine handed over my sandwich and a bottle of water. He got himself a cheese one and then we both began to eat. We engaged in small talk for a while during our lunch until we ended up lying down, facing one another, our bellies full.

'So, tell me what your dream was during high school?' Blaine asked me with a beaming smile, reaching out a hand to take mine.

'Oh um... to be a Broadway star,' I admitted, blushing a little.

'Wow. Does that ever play on your mind these days?'

'Sort of, but no longer in a negative way. With my voice it was highly unlikely I would ever have been given much opportunity so I don't feel as though I've missed out on some big dream.'

'Sure,' Blaine nodded. 'Hindsight is a wonderful thing.'

'And Rachel's doing really well on Broadway so I can live the dream through her.'

'But the teaching thing? Do you really like it? You're not just settling?'

'Oh no, I love it. Admittedly I kind of fell into it as a career because I couldn't think of anything else, but it's brilliant. Great hours, lots of time off and endless laughter with all the kids.'

'Good,' Blaine smiled.

'How about you? I can't imagine it was your dream to be a psychologist?'

Blaine laughed. 'No it wasn't. I actually wanted to follow in my brothers footsteps and try and make it in LA. But when I got to seventeen I matured quite a bit and realised I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do.'

'So why psychology?'

'Well I really felt I wanted to help people. I considered medicine but it's such a long process and then even further studying if you want to specialise in something. Behaviour always fascinated me so I decided on a psychology degree to see if I liked it.'

'And I'm guessing you did?' I asked and we both laughed.

'Well a good job too,' Blaine said, squeezing my hand. 'Can you believe this is only our second date?'

'I know, it feels like more than that.'

'So what are we going to do for date three?'

* * *

><p>It was the night of the Warbler reunion. I pulled up outside Blaine's apartment building and sent him a text letting him know I had arrived. Last night we'd had a mini debate via text as to who should drive over to Dalton. I won in the end, insisting it was Blaine's night and he should be free to let loose and have a few drinks. I stood leaning against my car and a couple of minutes later Blaine emerged from the building, walking towards me slowly.<p>

'So what do you think?' he smiled as he got closer and he did a little twirl.

Oh. My. God.

Fuck.

_Jfjmchgdsnyswjnvdogho_.

Blaine was standing there wearing his old school uniform. All coherent thought vanished from my brain. He looked _so_ fucking hot. I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.

'Kurt?'


	13. Chapter 13

_~KURT'S POV~_

I reluctantly tore myself away from studying Blaine's body to actually look him in the eye. He had a smirk on his face and I knew I was blushing, my face felt incredibly warm. So yeah I just got caught totally checking him out and ogling, but I didn't care.

'Sorry I just... um yeah, yeah you look...' Oh great, I'd forgotten how to speak.

'You like guys in uniforms huh?' Blaine teased, taking a step closer to me and laying his hands on my hips, which was not helping my mushed up brain from recovering itself.

'Well...' I gulped. 'Specifically um, you in uniform... yeah.'

'I'll have to remember that,' Blaine whispered. 'So can I have a hello kiss?'

'A hello kiss?' I repeated.

'Yes please,' Blaine laughed.

I lifted my hands up to Blaine's neck and kissed him on the mouth, closing my eyes and drinking him in. His hands gripped tighter onto my hips and then he lightly bit down on my bottom lip which caused a sudden gasp to escape from my throat. Blaine immediately pulled back and looked worried.

'I'm sorry, did I hurt-'

'No, Blaine it's ok... I was just taken by surprise, that's all.'

One of Blaine's hands came up to stroke my cheek. 'You know... I have a spare Dalton uniform upstairs. It would be a shame to let it go to waste tonight.'

'No way,' I said laughing. 'You're not getting me in that.'

'Oh well it was worth a try,' Blaine sighed.

'Besides, the pants would end halfway down my legs.'

'Really? We're at height jokes already?' Blaine gasped, pretending to look upset. 'I thought you were different Kurt.'

'Get in the car hobbit,' I said, kissing him lightly on the nose.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

As Kurt drove us to Dalton, my mind drifted. Having seen Kurt's reaction to my school uniform I was having visions of him pulling me roughly by my Dalton tie, throwing me down onto a table, ripping open my shirt and causing the buttons to fly everywhere... oh god, mind out of the gutter Blaine! Think about something else... _Kurt's Dad with a shotgun_... _Kurt's Dad with a shotgun_... good that was working. When we arrived I held Kurt's hand as we walked up to the entrance where Wes was standing with a clipboard.

'Good evening and welcome to Dalton. May I please take your names?'

'Wes what are you on about?' I asked.

'Please don't mock the rules in which we endeavour to follow as dictated by Dalton's Headmaster, to eradicate the possibility of trespassers entering these doors... sir.'

'You're freaking me out now.'

'If you don't give me your names I'll have to have you escorted off the-'

'Shut up,' I replied, leading Kurt into the school. It took us over ten minutes to reach the common room as we bumped into several of my old friends who were milling around.

'It's Birk,' someone shouted as soon as we entered and David came running over to us, smiling.

'Birk?' Kurt said carefully.

'Birk, it's your couple name. Blaine and Kirk.'

'Right,' Kurt laughed.

'David, it's Kurt, _Kurt_,' I corrected him but he was already distracted by someone else who'd just walked in. 'I'm really sorry they keep calling you Kirk.'

'It's ok, it's kind of funny,' Kurt said.

'Are you going to be ok when we're performing?' I asked him, not really happy with having to leave him alone for any length of time.

'I'll be fine,' Kurt reassured me. 'I'll just be staring at you anyway... and there's food so I'm all set.'

Jeff and Nick walked in and straight away spotted me and ran over. I was enveloped in a Jeff and Nick sandwich and nearly knocked off my feet. I could hear Kurt laughing at us. When they let me go Jeff gave Kurt a quick hug.

'So Nick, this is Kurt,' I said, introducing them.

'You're the famous Kirk I've been hearing all about?' Nick asked Kurt.

'That's me,' Kurt smiled, too polite to correct Nick on his name. They hugged and then Jeff took Kurt's hand, taking him a little further away.

'He seems great,' Nick said to me.

'Yeah he is,' I replied, wondering what Jeff and Kurt were talking about. I hoped Jeff wasn't telling him embarrassing stories from my Dalton days.

'He's gorgeous too, looks like he could be a model.'

'Hey you've got your own boyfriend,' I laughed. 'Leave mine alone.'

'Well in all seriousness Blaine, I hope Kirk will make you happier than Mark did.'

'He already is. In hindsight I can't believe I was with him so long.'

'We never really like him. I can say that now right?'

'Why did you never say?' I asked.

'You wouldn't have listened,' Nick laughed. 'Uh oh, look who's just arrived.'

I turned to look towards the door, where Sebastian Smythe was standing. 'Oh great, I hoped he wouldn't come.'

'Maybe he's mellowed with age,' Nick said and then we both fell about laughing. Jeff and Kurt walked back over to us, and David appeared too, looking happy.

'Sebastian is here,' he said.

'We have got eyes,' Jeff laughed and then he turned to Kurt. 'Blaine and Sebastian dated for a couple of months in our senior year.'

'Oh right,' Kurt replied quietly and then he looked at me. 'Why don't you go and say hi?'

'Our split wasn't exactly… amicable,' I said carefully.

'Blainey here caught him in bed with another guy,' David told Kurt. 'You should have seen it Kirk, he was devastated.'

'I was not,' I retorted. 'I might have been upset for a couple of days but I soon got over him.'

'Right... and the reason you only sang ballads for a month in Warbler practice was because...'

'Get lost David,' I said and he patted me on the back before walking off laughing.

'That must have been horrible,' Kurt said.

'It was a long time ago Kurt, it doesn't really matter.'

'Sebastian was nasty,' Nick said. 'Oh shit, now he's coming over.'

Sebastian came to a stop in front of the four of us, his trademark smirk on his face. 'Gentleman... Blaine. It's been a long time.'

'Hi,' I mumbled and then Sebastian looked at Kurt, eyeing him up which made my skin crawl.

'Well hello, I don't remember you being at Dalton.'

'That's because I didn't school here,' Kurt told him. 'I'm Blaine's...um...'

'Boyfriend,' I finished when Kurt trailed off. He looked at me, eyes slightly wide and we smiled at each other.

'Boyfriends? Well that's sweet... shame though.'

'So are you attached Sebastian?' Nick asked him.

'Not exactly,' he winked. 'I must say, I'm surprised you and Jeff are still together.'

'Why?' Jeff asked defensively.

Sebastian laughed. 'You've only been with each other... that's just so weird. You're gay, go out and fuck a different guy every night.'

'Not everyone wants that lifestyle,' Nick replied.

'Anyway, can't stand chatting all night,' Sebastian said. 'Must go and mingle.'

Sebastian walked off and I looked over at Kurt, who was trying hard not to laugh. I pulled him away a little from Nick and Jeff to have some privacy.

'Go on, say it.'

'Really Blaine? Him? He's vile.'

'I know, I know... my taste in men has vastly improved since my school days.'

'So um... I'm your boyfriend huh?' Kurt asked sweetly. 'When was that decided?'

'I'm sorry I said that, I just-'

'No, I liked it... you referring to me as your boyfriend.'

'You did? Well in that case _boyfriend_, there's something I'd really like to do right now.'

'Oh?'

'I'd like to kiss you.'

'Ok,' Kurt smiled adorably. He stood closer to me, putting his hands on either side of my neck. I closed the gap, pressing my lips against his and closing my eyes. My hands travelled to Kurt's waist and I instinctively pulled him closer.

'Get a room guys,' someone shouted out nearby, causing us both to break away and giggle.

'Everyone's here,' Wes shouted from the door. 'Warblers? Let's go.'

'I'll see you in a bit,' I said to Kurt, kissing him quickly on the lips.

'Go make me proud,' Kurt beamed.

I walked out of the common room and into the hallway where all the Warblers were gathering. I felt nervous even though I was in my comfort zone, surrounded by Warblers at Dalton, all in our uniforms. But I was nervous about one thing in particular, Kurt. He'd never seen me perform alone before, would he like it? I had an unfortunate habit of jumping on things and miming with my hands. We were all standing outside in the corridor now, planning one of our traditional dramatic entrances.

'I thought When I Get You Alone was a dead cert for tonight,' Jeff said and everyone started laughing. I cringed at the memory, even though it was eleven years ago. The truth was, I'd carefully gone over the song choices as I wanted to steer clear of anything too suggestive. I know Kurt and I would have to discuss the topic of sex at some point, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by singing songs about sex and toys and god knows what else.

'Are you guys ever going to let that lie?' I asked hopefully only to be met by a unanimous shout of 'No.'

'I hate you all.'

* * *

><p>'You were amazing,' Kurt said when I ran up to him after the Warblers set. I hugged him tightly and then picked up a much needed bottle of beer from the drinks table.<p>

'Thanks,' I replied, taking a long sip.

'You jump around a lot,' Kurt giggled.

'It was always kind of my thing… didn't you like-'

'Oh no, I loved it. The way you perform, it's… it's really endearing… you're a brilliant performer.'

'You're cute,' I whispered. 'Hey, how about I give you a grand tour of the school?'

'Um... don't you want to spend some time with your friends?' Kurt asked, looking away from me.

'I've spent a lot of time this week with some of the Warblers going over the preparations and there's still plenty of time to catch up with the others, the tour won't take long.'

'Ok.'

Taking Kurt's hand and dumping my beer down on the table, we walked out into the corridor. Wes was approaching us, having just been to the bathroom. 'Sneaking off for a bit of action are you boys?' Wes teased, winking at us. I squeezed Kurt's hand.

'I'm just going to show Kurt around the school.'

'It's ok, I'll cover for you,' Wes said, pretending to zip up his lips and I rolled my eyes at him.

For the next ten minutes Kurt and I walked around the ground floor, with me babbling on about my school days and what rooms were what and what had changed since I was a student. Kurt hadn't really said much apart from hmm, oh and right. I knew something was wrong.

'You're quiet, what's up?' I asked.

'Nothing, I'm fine,' Kurt tried to say, but his voice went higher than he probably intended it to, giving away his discomfort and awkwardness.

'You're not fine,' I said and Kurt looked away from me. I pulled him into the first empty classroom I could find, closing the door behind us. Kurt let go of my hand and walked away from me, putting his head in his hands.

'Kurt what is it?' I asked again. 'Kurt?'

He turned around and looked at me, his eyes watering. 'It's always going to be there somehow, it will never go away.'

'What? Kurt what's wrong? If it's what Wes said just ignore him, I've told you before he can be an idiot.'

'I was raped Blaine,' Kurt whispered, his voice breaking and my heart breaking at the same time. 'He… he destroyed me and… and I don't think I'll ever-'

I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around him. Kurt gripped onto my shirt and sobbed into my chest. I had to blink back the tears; I needed to be strong for him, even though it was killing me inside. I wanted to murder Wes for his stupid comment but he wasn't to know.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

Blaine smelled so good and I felt so safe and warm in his arms, but I had to do this, I'd been stupid to think this was ever going to truly be some sort of fairy-tale. Reluctantly, I pulled away from Blaine, wiping my eyes with my sleeves, feeling embarrassed. 'I'm so sorry.'

'Don't apologise Kurt.'

'This was never going to work,' I told him quietly, but he didn't get it.

'What wasn't going to work?' Blaine frowned.

'This. Us. I was fooling myself that-'

'Kurt don't.'

'I mean it Blaine.'

Blaine shook his head and tried to take my hand but I wouldn't let him. Oh god I was ruining his big reunion. 'Kurt, we were having such a great night… where has all this come from?'

'I should... I should probably leave.'

'Don't you dare walk out that door,' Blaine warned me. 'You're not leaving until you tell me what's going on. Don't run away from me, _talk_ to me.'

The temptation to ignore Blaine's plea and run was _so_ overwhelming. But instead I walked over to the wall beside one of the windows and sat down, my head resting back on the bricks. Blaine sat down on a chair with a deep sigh, a few feet away from me. He looked me with sad eyes.

'Kurt?'

'Blaine, please, I can't-'

'Just tell me what you're thinking Kurt, I'm not going anywhere.'

'It's the elephant in the room Blaine… d-don't even try and say it d-doesn't bother you,' I sobbed.

Blaine suddenly looked angry, _really_ angry. His eyes were wide and I could see his chest rising and falling rapidly. He loosened his tie roughly in frustration before fixing me with a fiery stare.

'Of course it bothers me Kurt,' he shouted. 'For fucks sake, I just want to find the guy and... and fucking kill him for what he did to you. It breaks my heart to think what you went through and-'

'I didn't mean... that, I meant...'

'What?' Blaine asked. Well he wanted me to talk; I guess I owed it to him to be honest.

'The thing is, do you really want to be with someone who isn't going to... "put out", as they say... Blaine I can't be certain that I'd ever be ready or able to... to do... you know... that.'

'This is about sex? You think I'll get bored of you because sex might never be an option?'

Blaine looked really annoyed, as though I'd highly insulted him. 'It's inevitable,' I mumbled.

'No it's not,' he retorted. 'Kurt, whether we last a day, a year or forever, I'm not going to finish with you because I'm devoid of a sex life.'

'So you and Mark never had sex?' I snapped immaturely.

'Well, of course we did. We were together nearly three years, but Kurt that's got nothing to do with us. Every relationship is different.'

'You can't make promises Blaine,' I said, shaking my head. 'Yeah you might not be missing it now but... but the day will come when it starts to be an issue and... I'd rather this ended before then.'

'No Kurt, _no_,' he shouted and I looked down at the floor, breathing deeply and hoping I wouldn't start balling again.

'Blaine… please…' I begged in a whisper.

'Please what? Let you run off? Walk away from you? Give up? Because the answer to all those is no Kurt. No, no, no.'

'I'm not worth-'

'Look at me.' I took a deep breath and lifted my head to look Blaine in the eye. He looked emotional and drained and I hated myself for making him that way. He would be so much better off without me. 'Kurt… I won't let you do this to us... and do you know why?'

'Why?' I asked quietly.

Blaine walked over and kneeled down in front of me. I looked up at him; he had tears in his eyes now and I felt awful. Blaine lightly pushed a hand through my hair and I closed my eyes at the sensation, instantly feeling calmer and more relaxed. Then he was covering my hands with his own, squeezing tightly.

'Kurt look at me,' he said quietly and I slowly opened my eyes.

'I wasn't planning on telling you this yet because... well I didn't want to scare you, but I have to say it and I think you need to hear it.'

Oh god, what was it? What was he planning on telling me that that he'd been too scared to say up until now? My chest felt like it was going to explode with the anticipation. Of fuck, don't have a panic attack; don't have a panic attack…

'Kurt... I've never been very good at verbalising my feelings and... well I always thought that I had some sort of issue with it, but I was wrong. I recently figured it out. I look at you and I just feel complete and I want to be with you... always. The two long term relationships I've had... they were never going to be "the one" nowhere near in fact, I can see that now.'

'Blaine?' My eyes were wide and I knew my mouth was hanging open slightly, both shocked and amazed by what Blaine was saying to me. Then he said the one sentence which changed everything. _Everything_.

'The thing is... I'm in love with you.'

Silence. I was sure my heart beat was loud enough for Blaine to hear, it was deafening my ears. He was watching me, waiting for my reaction. He loved me? Blaine _loved_ me? He was _in_ love with me? No I couldn't have heard right. Sensing my doubt Blaine leaned forward and whispered into my ear, 'I'm head over heels in love with you.'

My whole body shivered and I gasped. Things like this didn't happen to me, hell they never happened to me. As expected, I started to cry and Blaine's hands came up to my face, lightly wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

'Hey, don't cry,' he smiled.

'They're h-happy tears,' I told him. 'I never thought I'd hear s-somebody say those w-words to me.'

'Well it's your lucky day then Kurt Hummel.'

Then Blaine kissed me hard and passionately, his hands grabbing each side of my face. I reached out, my hands tightly holding onto his blazer and pulled him closer, desperate to feel him, to taste him, to never let him go. I felt the tip of Blaine's tongue brush against my lips and without even thinking about it I allowed him entrance.

I moaned softly as Blaine's tongue explored my mouth, and it was the most wonderful feeling I'd ever experienced, it was full of love and want. Eventually Blaine pulled back and I let out a tiny squeak of protest. He leaned his head against mine, panting heavily.

'Sorry about that,' he said breathlessly and we both laughed. I smoothed down his blazer which was now creased from where I'd been hanging on for dear life and took one of his hands.

'I love you too,' I said and Blaine beamed at me, biting down on his bottom lip. I got the sense he was holding back from attacking my lips again. I loved how thoughtful he was all the time, but sometimes a guy just wants to be kissed right?

'Don't feel like you have to say it back,' Blaine whispered and it was incredibly adorable how just for a moment he was being the insecure one.

'Of course I love you silly,' I giggled, squeezing his hand. 'You're... you're amazing Blaine. I feel like I've been waiting for you my whole life.'

'Me too,' he smiled, giving me a quick kiss.

Blaine sat down beside me against the wall and pulled me to him. I settled my head against his shoulder as he began stroking my arm absently. 'Do you see now how it's better to say what's on your mind rather than keeping things to yourself?'

'Yeah,' I sighed. 'I'm sorry, I get... scared.'

'I know you do. But we're never going to survive if you're doubts overshadow us every few days. I know you have insecurities and they're more than understandable. But please promise me you'll talk to me, however silly or insignificant you believe your thoughts to be.'

'I will,' I promised.

'So um, Kurt... about... sex... I don't want to lie to you; the thought of making love to you is... very appealing. But I need you to understand that you're enough ok? You're more than enough.'

'Are you sure?' I asked, picking at the buttons on his shirt and not looking him in the eye.

'Yes I'm sure. You know, some gay couples never have penetrative sex. It's a preference thing. There's lots of other stuff couples can do if they want to be intimate and... and you know... please each other in that way.'

'Like what?' I whispered, meeting his gaze. Blaine was blushing and had never looked cuter.

'Um, you know... like... oral stuff.'

'Right,' I swallowed thickly, my eyes immediately drawn to Blaine's crotch area. His old Dalton pants did nothing to 'show off' his goods as such, but that didn't stop my face from heating up at the mere thought of seeing it... touching it...

'So, shall we get back to the party?' Blaine asked, pulling me out of my x-rated thoughts. 'Wes will be sending out a search party soon.'

'Yeah sure,' I replied, although I could have quite happily sat on the floor with Blaine all night.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

Ok, so I was a little bit tipsy. I didn't usually drink so much but I was too happy to care. It was two hours since Kurt and I confessed our true feelings to each other and I'd been catching up with old friends, but I was completely distracted. I couldn't stop thinking about Kurt and how incredible he was.

'Hey you ok?' I said, walking up to Kurt.

'Yeah I'm fine, have you been having fun?'

'Oh you know, a lot of reminiscing about the old days... I tried to get away sooner but-'

'Blaine its fine,' Kurt smiled, putting a hand on my arm. 'It's your reunion. Anyway, I was mostly watching Wes and David's drunken singing.'

'Oh god they were hilarious'

'Um, Blaine?'

'Yeah?'

'A few people have mentioned that they expected you to do your trademark song earlier.'

'Oh?' I asked innocently, knowing exactly where this was going.

'Teenage Dream?'

'Um, well Wes and David said we couldn't do any Katy Perry songs so...'

'You could sing it on your own,' Kurt smiled and I started to feel nervous.

'I don't think so, I can't even remember the words that well and-'

'Blaine,' Kurt said softly, taking my hand. 'Did you really think I wouldn't notice how all your songs earlier were safe choices, free of any adult themes?'

'Yeah… I'm sorry,' I apologised. 'I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable.'

'Don't be sorry, I love how you would do that for me. But I _really_ need to see you sing Teenage Dream.'

'You do?' I gulped and Kurt kissed me on the lips, pulled back and gave me a cheeky look.

'Yes, now get yourself up there Anderson,' he ordered and he lightly smacked me on the bottom.

'Hummel,' I gasped, but I was smiling from ear to ear, and ok I may have been blushing a little too.

I found Wes and it didn't take much convincing for him to join me for Teenage Dream, considering he was well on the way to being wasted. We rounded up most of the other Warblers, the ones that hadn't passed out yet anyway. Then we got into position and I lifted the microphone up to my mouth. 'Hey everyone, can I have your attention.'

The room fell silent and I took a deep breath. 'I'm afraid we've had a number of complaints about the earlier Warblers perfor-'

'Bull shit,' someone shouted out and everyone laughed.

'Um, not the quality of it... although yeah, that could be argued... actually the complaint is that we didn't sing Teenage Dream... so here it is, enjoy.'

There were cheers and claps before we'd even started. I found Kurt and fixed my eyes on him, he gave me an encouraging smile and a nod. I winked back at him, and then began singing.


	14. Chapter 14

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

'Happy now?' I asked Kurt as I returned to him a few minutes later. I'd looked at him throughout the whole performance and he never once looked uncomfortable, in fact he just looked proud and it made my heart melt and love him even more.

'Yep,' he smiled. 'That was...'

'Nice? Good? Great? Amazing?'

'Well I was going to say sexy actually, Mr Conceited,' Kurt said with an adorable expression. 'But all of those things too I guess.'

'I'll take sexy,' I whispered. I slipped my hand behind Kurt's back, resting it on his back. He looked at me, pure love and happiness in his eyes. I was about to lean forwards and kiss him, but unfortunately David chose that moment to literally jump on top of me which caused me to nearly knock Kurt over.

'What are you doing?' I asked, removing David from me and helping him stand up straight.

'Dude, that song fucking rocked.'

'Then why did you ban Katy Perry songs at our planning sessions?'

'What can I say Blainey? We were wrong, that's just the way it is,' David said and then he skipped off.

'I'm sorry my friends are so nuts,' I said to Kurt, but he was just smiling.

'I like them.'

'Make sure you don't tell them that, they'll worm their way into your life,' I warned and Kurt laughed.

'I'm just going to use the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute,' he said.

'Hurry back,' I replied and watched him leave the room. I was about to try and find Wes when Sebastian appeared beside me.

'Alone at last.'

'What do you want Sebastian?'

'That was a pretty good performance you just did there.'

'Right… um, thanks.'

'Of course you were out of tune for most of it and-'

'Yeah yeah, thanks Sebastian.'

'I'm disappointed in you Anderson.'

I rolled my eyes at him. 'Oh really?'

'You've got a great income, good voice, you're quite sexy, and yet you limit yourself to that twink?'

'His name is Kurt, and you're mistaking "limiting" for relationship. It's what most people do Sebastian.'

'Maybe,' he smirked. 'But I'm not most people.'

'Just tell me what is is you're after?' I asked, not interested in playing his games.

'A threesome. You, me and that little Kurt of yours. I be he's a right screamer when you're fuck-'

'That's enough,' I interrupted. 'Only in your dreams Sebastian.'

I walked off, feeling a little bit sick. Who would have thought after ten years out of high school a person would be exactly the same? I went out into the hallway to wait for Kurt and Nick came running up to me. 'Teenage Dream was epic man. I _almost_ found you attractive.'

I laughed. 'Yeah thanks, I think. Jeff said similar thing at the McKinley reunion.'

'Yeah he told me, how weird. But don't tell Jeff, he'll just get jealous.'

'Ok,' I smiled.

'Oh, and can I just say that Kirk is adorable. Seriously Blaine, you've done good there.'

'Thanks Nick, that really means a lot. He's... well he's special.'

'Aww.'

'And he really likes you guys too.'

'Cool. Hey, have you spoken much with Sebastian tonight?'

'Well funnily enough I just came out here to get away from him. He asked me for a threesome.'

Nick laughed. 'What an arsehole. He asked Jeff and I too a little while ago.'

'So I wasn't even first choice?' I said, pretending to be mad.

'Poor you.'

'That's outrageous. After all, I was the one that dated him.'

'You just haven't got it anymore Blainers, whereas I am-'

'Conceited?' I interrupted and Nick hit me on the arm.

'Hey no violence,' Jeff said, coming up to us with Kurt beside him. 'We've just been talking about you two in the bathroom.'

'No,' Nick said and we all looked at him, feeling confused.

'No what?' Jeff asked.

'We're not having a foursome,' Nick said and we all fell about laughing.

* * *

><p>It was Monday lunchtime and I was alone at my desk. I hadn't been able to stop grinning since Saturday evening. I was beyond happy that Kurt knew I loved him and that he felt exactly the same. This was only the beginning for us and it was so exciting.<p>

Having received a text from Cooper half an hour ago asking how the Warblers reunion went, I decided to call him. Although Cooper hadn't gone to Dalton, he had been in his school glee club (obviously) and like me it was the best time of his life.

'Blaine Warbler,' he answered, making me laugh.

'Hi Coop. How's it going?'

'Good, only woke up an hour ago and might go to the beach this afternoon.'

'Oh dear, poor you,' I teased. 'What a hard life you lead.'

'I know, tell me about it. So how was the reunion?'

'Yeah it was really good, and so much fun. You would have loved it.'

'I'm so bummed I couldn't make it. I'm definitely coming to the next get together. Are there any plans yet for Nick and Jeff's next anniversary?'

'I think so, its early days in the planning but Nick and Jeff have said they want a big party.'

'Awesome, I'll be there will bells on. And I get to meet Kurt of course.'

'Just make sure you're nice.'

'I'm always nice,' Cooper retorted. 'Rude.'

'Well just don't be so... _you_ ok?'

'Whatever. Anyway, was the delightful Sebastian there on Saturday night?'

'Oh yeah, he turned up and was charming as ever.'

'He didn't cause any trouble did he?'

'Not really, he behaved for the most part.'

'Did Kurt enjoy it?'

'Yeah he did, I um...'

'What?' Cooper prompted.

'No, it doesn't matter.'

'Blaine... you can't say that. What were you going to say?'

'Well...'

'_Blaine_.'

'Ok... at the reunion, I told him that I loved him.'

'Oh my god, way to go Blainey. Did he say it back?'

'He did yeah,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

'So this Kurt guy is something special huh?'

'Yeah he really is Coop.'

'When are you next seeing each other?'

'After work for a coffee.'

'Well I'm so happy for you bro, I can hear in your voice that things are good. Not like when you were with that dick Mark.'

'Why do people keep saying that?' I laughed. 'Anyway, tell me all your news.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'How's the head?' I asked as Blaine sat down in the chair opposite me at the Lima Bean. All day I'd had a weird feeling in my tummy, a feeling I wasn't used to. Happiness. Blaine made me happy and I was pretty sure I made him happy too; well he did say he loved me didn't he?

'A lot better now,' he smiled and picked up the coffee I'd already bought him. 'Thanks for this... you know my coffee order?'

'It's etched onto the inside of my skull,' I said and Blaine laughed. 'Anyway, isn't that something a boyfriend should know?'

'Definitely,' Blaine replied and he reached over to me, taking one my hands. 'I missed you yesterday.'

'You sent me about fifty texts... and you called me twice.'

'It's not the same as seeing you though.'

'I know,' I smiled. It was my Dad's birthday so we'd gone out for the day to celebrate, although I'd thought about Blaine the entire time. 'But I'd say you're about two, three weeks away from being formally invited to the Hummel Friday night dinner.'

'Wow, I'm honoured… so your Dad has started to like me then?'

'I've been bigging you up, he's very impressed... but I did leave out the part where you tried to get me to wear a school uniform.'

Blaine laughed loudly, and blushed too. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen... well since I'd spotted him in the park playing with Joey anyway. He looked so content and it felt amazing to know that I had something to do with it. He fixed me with an intense stare and studied me for a moment.

'Kurt I'd like to ask you something, but don't feel obliged to say yes ok?'

'Sure, what is it?' I asked slowly.

'Well I've been thinking... how would you feel about... staying over at mine one night?'

'At your apartment?' I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as my heart started to race.

'Yeah. I mean, I have a spare room, it's not like we have to um... share if you don't want. I can cook, or we can get a take away or eat out first... whatever you'd prefer… I've got tons of DVDs and-'

'Blaine, the answer is yes,' I said, putting a stop to his rambling.

'Are you sure?' he smiled.

'Yes, but on one condition.'

'Condition?' Blaine raised his eyebrows.

'I get to see you without any gel in your hair,' I smirked.

'Oh god,' Blaine cringed.

'Do we have a deal?'

'Well if that's what it takes... ok.'

'Yay. Saturday?'

'Saturday,' Blaine repeated, squeezing my hand. Oh God, in five days time I'll be going to Blaine's apartment... sitting on his sofa... seeing his bedroom... sleeping over... witnessing morning bed hair Blaine... fuck... I need to buy some new PJ's.

* * *

><p>I smiled as I saw Sam's latest status update on Facebook. <em>Just took the next step and met Craig's parents. They're wonderful just like him :)<em>

Things must have turned serious for them and despite Sam not long being out of a full on relationship, he seemed really besotted by Craig. We still kept in touch by text and I could feel happy for him now, whereas before, jealousy was rearing its ugly head. Not because I wanted Sam, but because I wanted what he had. A relationship. A boyfriend.

Blaine Anderson... my gorgeous dreamy boyfriend.

I wondered if Blaine would ever let us be linked via Facebook? I was too much of a coward to suggest it myself but I knew I would squeal with delight if I logged into Facebook one day to see a notification that Blaine Anderson wanted the world to know we were together. God, I was such a loser.

I scrolled down my news feed and beamed with delight when I saw that Blaine had been tagged in David's photo album 'Dalton Reunion' and started clicking through all the pictures. Every time Blaine featured my heart gave a little leap of joy, he looked so happy and that night held such special memories for us.

Then suddenly I froze and my IQ melted to a puddle of sappy goo. I was staring at an up close, incredibly sexy photo of Blaine, hand in his hair, mouth open slightly and his eyes half closed. Fucking hell. David had captioned the photo, _This one's for Kirk. LOL._

I didn't even need to look through the rest of the album, I'd found a new shiny desktop picture for my laptop. Blaine had left a comment underneath saying _OMG WTF NOOOOOOOOOO I look horrible *delete it*_ and I laughed out loud.

I wasn't friends with David so couldn't comment, so instead I picked my phone up and sent Blaine a text. It was 4pm so he was probably still at work.

_I've just been looking through David's Dalton album, *that* photo of you is hot :P K x_

_CRINGE! Really? Well if you like it I guess it's not so bad :) Bx_

_Hey I just thought of something, we don't have any photos of the two of us. K x_

_That's so weird, I thought that during my lunch hour! I was looking at my desk when on the phone to Coop and realised a cute little photo of me and you was missing Bx__  
><em>  
>'Aww,' I actually said out loud as I read that text. Blaine wanted a photo of us on his desk? I never saw one of him and Mark during our sessions, unless he always moved it, or turned it away? I wanted to ask but was afraid of the answer. I wanted to be the first boyfriend Blaine considered having a photo of at work. God I was being so selfish. I was lucky to even be dating someone like Blaine.<p>

I had a shower and went downstairs just after six to find my Dad sat in the living room, watching some kind of sports thingy on the tv.

'Hey Dad,' I said, sitting down beside him. 'Busy day?'

'Yeah, you know how Friday's are, people wanting to get out of town for the weekend and finding something wrong with their car. How about you, good day at school?'

'Yeah not bad, had to break up a fist fight at break time though.'

'Boys,' Dad chuckled.

'Actually, it was two girls,' I told him and he shook his head in disappointment. 'Oh so it's alright for boys to fight?'

'It's different,' he shrugged and then he quickly changed the subject. 'Anyway, Carole's Mom has invited us all over for dinner tomorrow. Do you want to come?'

'I can't, sorry.'

'Seeing Blaine?' Dad smiled.

'Yeah... actually um... I'm staying at Blaine's tomorrow.'

'Oh... like sleeping over?' Dad asked and I nodded. 'Was that his idea or yours?'

'His, but I really want to and-'

'Kurt, he's not pushing you to go too fast is he?'

'No of course not.'

'Because I can go and talk to him if-'

'Dad, calm down,' I laughed. 'I know you're just looking out for me, but seriously... please don't interfere with my relationship with Blaine because I'm really happy... we both are and Blaine has been nothing but perfect. I don't want him being scared off by an overbearing parent.'

'I'm sorry, you're right,' Dad apologised. 'I just worry about you... but I promise to keep my mouth shut.'

'Thanks, I'd really appreciate it.'

'But if you ever want to talk about anything, you can come to me ok? Anything at all... no more secrets remember?'

'I remember Dad,' I smiled. Then we heard the front door open and close, Kip had arrived for Friday night dinner.

'We're still keeping you and Blaine quiet from Kip right?' Dad whispered and I nodded just as he walked into the living room. He joined us on the sofa, sitting on the other side of Dad.

'Did I miss much?' he asked.

'Only the first ten minutes,' my Dad replied. Kip took his coat off and hung it over the back of the sofa before gluing his eyes to the tv screen. 'It's been tight so far.'

'How's college?' I asked Kip.

'Yeah awesome,' he replied. 'I miss Carole's cooking and the home comforts though.'

'Well you come back here often enough,' Dad said and we all laughed.

'Well you all miss me don't you?' Kip smirked. 'I only really come back for your benefit.'

'Sure,' I laughed. 'You tell yourself that Kip.'

'Kurt, who's Blaine Anderson?' Kip asked me, looking over with an odd smile.

'S-sorry?' I said, my heart catching in my throat. I caught my Dad's eye and I he shrugged his shoulders, offering no help.

'Blaine Anderson. The other day you friended him on facebook... I was just wondering if you've bagged yourself a boyfriend or something?'

'Oh, no... of course not,' I replied, not looking him in the eye and pretending to be interested in the game (yeah right). 'He was in one of the show choirs we used to compete against.'

'Oh right, from that party you had?'

'Reunion, yeah,' I said.

My relationship with Blaine was still relatively new and I wasn't quite ready for the whole world to know yet, and if I told Kip that's exactly what would happen. He would most probably announce it to the world on every social network site he belonged to.

I distracted myself by logging onto Facebook on my mobile to avoid any further questioning from Kip, although luckily him and my Dad started talking (in depth) about team strategies or whatever. Straight away a chat message appeared on the screen, making me smile.

Blaine: _:)_  
>Kurt: <em>Hey you :)<em>  
>Blaine: <em>Facebooking during Friday night dinner?<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Kip and Dad are boring me<em>  
>Blaine: <em>Do I bore you?<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Never! What are you doing?<em>_  
><em>Blaine: _Lying on the sofa with Joey feeling sorry for myself_  
>Kurt: <em>Why? :(<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I'm missing my boyfriend!<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Awww!<em>  
>Blaine: <em>And I've got a belly ache :(<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I need a Hummel hug<em>  
>Kurt: <em>You're such a child sometimes lol!<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Blaine?<em>  
>Kurt: <em>?<em>  
>Kurt: <em>?<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I'm sulking :(<em>  
>Kurt: <em>You're so cute :)<em>  
>Kurt: <em>So why have you got a belly ache then?<em>  
>Blaine: <em>It was a colleague's birthday and she brought in cakes<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Anderson we've talked about this! *DON'T* go back for thirds!<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I couldn't help it<em>  
>Kurt: <em>You have a problem<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I know<em>  
>Kurt: <em>How do you stay so slim?<em>  
>Blaine: <em>You think I have a nice body? ;)<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Stop fishing for compliments!<em>  
>Kurt: <em>Crap, my Dad's telling me to get off my phone :(<em>  
>Blaine: <em>Meanie! I'm more important :)<em>  
>Kurt: <em>I'll tell him you said that :P<em>  
>Blaine: <em>DON'T YOU DARE! I'm quite partial to keeping all my limbs!<em>  
>Kurt: <em>I'll text you after dinner :)<em>  
>Blaine: <em>You better x<em>  
>Kurt: <em>x<em>

* * *

><p>Pulling up outside Blaine's apartment block, I cut the engine and took a deep breath, the dilemma of the past few days still going round and round my head. Sleep with Blaine? Don't sleep with Blaine? Sleep with Blaine? Don't sleep with Blaine? I picked my overnight bag up from the passenger seat and left my car. With every step I took my pulse soared higher and higher, nerves overtaking me. Blaine had given me the code to his building so I went in, took the elevator up to his floor and came to a stop at his front door. I reached my hand out to knock but pulled it back again.<p>

'Get a fucking grip,' I whispered to myself. I smoothed down my shirt and stood up straighter. Then I knocked, once, twice, three times. I heard running footsteps on the other side and giggled.

The door opened and there stood Blaine, wearing a worn out grey t-shirt, light blue jeans which had several paint stains on them and yellow socks. I fought the urge to pounce him, not only did he rock the dapper look; he was fucking hot in the _wear whatever I can find because I'm staying in_ look.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'Welcome to my humble abode,' I said, smiling at my incredibly adorable boyfriend, who in turn was literally gaping at my clothes. Fuck, did I go too casual? Should I have dressed up a bit? Kurt looked amazing in black skinny jeans and a shirt.

'Thank you,' he replied sweetly, walking in as I stepped back. I closed the door and took Kurt's bag, putting it on the floor.

'You look great.'

'So do you,' Kurt smiled.

'Really? I'm feeling a bit under dressed here.'

'Seriously Blaine, you look really cute.'

'Come here,' I whispered, reaching for Kurt's waist softly and pulling him towards me. Our lips met in a cautious and slow kiss, but then all of a sudden Kurt's hands were cupping my face. I gripped onto his shirt for dear life and our tongues were dancing together, desperate to taste each other, to feel one other, as though we'd been apart for months. Our bodies were pressed tightly together and I felt a stab of guilt as I began to get hard, stupid damn hormones.

Kurt's hands moved to the back of my neck where he kneaded the skin with his fingers. I let out a moan, the feeling was _so_ good. When I felt as though I was going to pass out from the lack of oxygen I reluctantly pulled back, drinking in the look of Kurt, cheeks flushed, eyes alive with emotion and lips swollen.

'Wow... hey,' I smiled.

'H-hello to you too,' Kurt whispered breathlessly. 'I hope you know that I'll be expecting that every time I come over.'

'What makes you think I'll ever invite you again?' I teased, raising my eyebrows playfully. 'Anyway, that was all you; I was going for sweet and romantic. You had to lower the tone.'

'No way,' Kurt laughed. 'You put your tongue down my throat.'

'I did not... anyway your tongue was in the way because you were putting it down _my_ throat.'

'That's an interesting interpretation,' Kurt smirked. 'Wrong, but interesting... pervert.'

'You're the pervert, I saw you checking me out as soon as I opened the door.'

'I was admiring your clothes,' Kurt retorted.

'Yeah likely story.'

'Your argument is weak Blaine, just admit it.'

'You smell nice,' I said quietly and Kurt laughed.

'Changing the subject? That counts as defeat to me. You're the pervert.'

'Shut up,' I told him and instead of kissing him on the lips I perhaps went a little too far by planting several kisses on his neck, breathing in his gorgeous scent. Whatever it was I wanted to bathe in it. A contented sigh escaped from Kurt's throat telling me not only was the neck kissing ok, but it felt good too. I took hold of his hand and squeezed it

'Where's Joey?' Kurt suddenly asked, looking around as though expecting to see him.

'He's with my parents; they went away for a few days this morning and asked if they could take him. I'm pretty sure they love him more than me.'

'That's so sweet,' Kurt smiled.

'I think they're slowly trying to kidnap him from me.'

'Oh my god, you've got parents,' Kurt gasped and I laughed.

'Everyone has parents Kurt.'

'I know, it's just... you've never really mentioned them before.'

'Do you um... do you want to meet my parents some time? I've told them all about you.'

'Really?' Kurt whispered, eyes wide with surprise. He was beyond cute. I stroked my thumb over his hand.

'Of course. They ask about you all the time.'

'I'd love to meet them,' Kurt said uncertainly. I could see that the mere idea of it frightened the life out of him.

'No rush,' I told him. 'So, how would you like to spend the evening?'

'I don't mind,' Kurt replied shyly. 'Do you have anything planned?'

'Not as such, but how about pizza, a bottle of wine and a couple of movies?'

'Sounds perfect.'

'You sure?'

'Yes, and plenty of this,' Kurt said and he pressed his lips against mine as we melted into another passionate kiss.

* * *

><p>'This is nice,' Kurt smiled and I was so happy to see how relaxed he looked despite being in a situation that would no doubt be freaking him out. He looked at home and it made me feel all warm and contented.<p>

We were both sat on each end of the sofa, facing one another, our legs tangled together in the middle. The movie had ended and I'd switched the tv off. We still had quarter of a bottle of wine to get through.

'I'm glad my hospitality pleases you,' I said. 'Would you like some more wine?'

'Yes please.'

'So how's your therapy been going?' I asked as I refilled our glasses on the coffee table.

'It's been... good,' Kurt replied, not quite meeting my eye. I put it down to shyness as I didn't think he would lie to me. 'It's my last session next week though.'

'Has it been worth it?'

'Yeah... not that yours wasn't worth it because it was, it's just it's a different type of therapy and-'

'Kurt, it's fine,' I laughed. 'I recommended her after all. I'm glad it's been positive and you seem really... well... happy.'

'That's because I am,' Kurt smiled and he rubbed my thigh with his foot, and fuck that felt good despite my jeans and Kurt's socks preventing any actual skin on skin contact.

'Have you um... talked about me at all?'

'And why would I talk about you?' Kurt asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

'Well you know, I am your boyfriend after all.'

'Yeah I've talked about you... quite a lot actually,' Kurt blushed and then he looked at me in alarm. 'Oh I didn't refer to you by name or anything, I didn't say it was you I just-'

'I'm not ashamed of how we met,' I interrupted. 'Honestly Kurt, it's not an issue.'

'No?'

'No… do you want to discuss anything that's come up in your sessions?'

'Um... maybe. Not tonight though.'

'Ok,' I smiled and Kurt yawned. I looked at my watch, it was approaching midnight. 'Tired?'

'Yeah, I was up late yesterday, too nervous and excited to sleep.'

'Me too,' I admitted. 'Last night felt like I was eight again and it was christmas eve.'

'So... bedtime?' Kurt asked shyly.

'Have you decided on the sleeping arrangements yet? Whatever you feel comfortable with is totally fine with me, I really don't mind, I actually tidied up the guest room today so it's all ready for you if that's where you-'


	15. Chapter 15

_~KURT'S POV~_

'Blaine, chill,' I laughed.

Blaine's head was tilted to the side and he looked so sweet. The answer was there in my mind as quick as a flash. It seemed so silly now that I'd been beating myself up over it since saying yes to staying over. This was Blaine, an incredible guy who would walk over hot coals for me... ok that might not be true, but I'd like to think that he would... I definitely would for him… anyway...

'I want to sleep with you... I mean, you know, in the same bed not um-'

'I know what you mean,' Blaine smiled as my face heated up in embarrassment. 'I can't deny that I'm extremely pleased with your decision.'

'I bet you are,' I laughed. I had a feeling that Blaine might be someone who would relish cuddles and warmth in a bed with someone he loves. Although it scared me a little, I couldn't wait either.

Blaine stood up from the sofa and held his hand out to me. 'Come on.'

I took his hand and he led me out of the living room, down the hall and we came to a stop in front of a closed door. So this must be Blaine's bedroom, where I would be sleeping tonight, _with_ Blaine. Ok, keep it cool, don't have a freak out.

'So this is my bedroom,' Blaine said as we walked in and he turned on the light. It was more masculine and traditional than my bedroom and was decorated with neutral colours. It had a warm and comfortable feeling. His bed was nicely made; there was a hardback book on one bedside table and a pair of glasses on the other.

'You wear glasses?' I asked in surprise and Blaine bit down on his bottom lip, looking annoyed at himself for not hiding them.

'Yeah... um, just for reading when my eyes get tired,' he said shyly.

'I bet they make you look adorable.'

'They do not,' he scoffed.

'Put them on,' I smiled.

'No.'

'Yes.'

'No.'

'Pretty please?'

'Do I have to?' Blaine cringed.

'Yep.' Blaine sighed and picked his glasses up. He put them on and turned to me, looking all kinds of awkward and embarrassed. But Blaine looked sexy as hell. Oh my god. 'I was right, you do look adorable.'

As Blaine took his glasses off and put them back, something occurred to me. Blaine's ex Mark had lived with him, so they must have slept in this bed together, fuck they must have had sex in this bed. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Oh god. Oh god. I started to feel a bit sick... but then Blaine said something which instantly calmed me down, but also made me wonder if he was a mind reader.

'This is my new bed, I've had it two weeks now and I don't know what I did without it, it's _so_ comfortable.'

'It looks it,' I replied, feeling so relieved. 'Is it ok if I go to the bathroom to get changed?'

'Of course, take your time.'

I went into the bathroom, changed into my new baby blue coloured PJ's I'd bought, washed and moisturised my face and brushed my teeth. I looked into the mirror and took a deep breath. This was it, taking the next step in my relationship with Blaine. I was still feeling a little nervous of course but I was surprised by how right it felt. I walked back into the bedroom and Blaine was sitting on the edge of the bed. He stood up, smiling at me.

'You look really cute in those,' he said, taking in my sleepwear.

'Thanks,' I beamed. Blaine held his arms out and pulled me into a hug. I rested my chin on his shoulder and sighed happily.

'I love that you bought new PJ's for the occasion,' Blaine said quietly. How on earth did he know that?

'How do you-' I began to ask but Blaine stepped back from the hug holding up the price tag he'd just pulled off. Oh.

'Oops,' I blushed. 'So where's your PJ's?'

'Well I um... I usually...'

'What?' I asked when Blaine tailed off.

'I don't usually wear anything in bed.'

'Oh right,' I replied, swallowing thickly.

'But don't worry, I'll put something on tonight,' he said quickly. 'I won't be long.'

Blaine left the room and I let out a breath I hadn't known I was keeping in. It was very hard not to linger on the thought of Blaine naked in this bed I was about to sleep in. Jesus how was I going to get any sleep tonight thinking about that image?

I stood at the foot of the bed, and suddenly realised I didn't know which side was mine. Blaine obviously had a preference, unless he slept in the middle? I should ask him instead of potentially stealing his side, so I walked out of the bedroom and over to the bathroom, expecting to talk to him through a locked door but...

I stopped dead in the open doorway. Blaine was standing at the sink, brushing his teeth... _completely_ naked. Oh my _gofvgoergvevitrekoxclerylod_. He had his back to me so I couldn't see _that_, but my eyes roamed over his tanned and defined body. He had muscle, but not too much and his bum was-

'You know it's rude to stare.'

I jumped and gasped, then my eyes found Blaine's in the mirror. He was smiling at me and I started blushing like a tomato.

'Um, sorry I...'

I turned around and ran back to Blaine's bedroom feeling like a complete idiot and my heart beating wildly. I sat on the bed and a couple of minutes later Blaine returned, now wearing a white t-shirt and boxers... don't look at his crotch... look anywhere but his crotch...

'Get a good look did you?' Blaine winked as he closed the bedroom door and turned off the light, leaving just the bedside table lamps glowing.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'

I stopped talking when Blaine knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his and smiling at me. 'Hey, why are you sorry? I caught a very gorgeous man checking me out... I can't find anything wrong with that.'

'I guess I'm sorry about the way I reacted,' I said quietly, looking away.

'Don't be, it's understandable. Sooooo, did you like what you saw?'

'You want me to assess your body?' I laughed, loving the playful look he had on his face.

'Yep, I'm shamelessly after compliments yet again.'

'Well... I have no complaints... from what I saw anyway.'

Blaine laughed and then he leaned forwards and we were kissing, it was all lips and no tongue this time. It lasted for a few minutes until the position started to become too uncomfortable, Blaine on his knees on the hard flooring and me keeping my back straight with nothing to support it. If I was anyone else my guess would be that Blaine would have me on the bed by now, straddling me and ripping my PJ's off.

'Ow my knees,' Blaine moaned standing up. I felt a huge wave of emotion for him, he was always thinking of me. Oh god, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Blaine got under the duvet on the side nearest to the window. I turned the lamp off on my side and got in too. We were facing one another, looking into each other's eyes. I felt Blaine's hand searching for mine so I grabbed it and my heart melted to a puddle as Blaine smiled at me. He reached over with his other hand to turn his lamp off and we were plunged into darkness, just the ticking of Blaine's clock could be heard.

'Are you ok?' Blaine asked softly and I squeezed his hand.

'I'm more than ok... thank you.'

'For what?' Blaine giggled.

'For being you.'

'Aww... thank you for being you too... night Kurt.'

'Night Blaine,' I replied. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, my hand still holding onto his.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes and for a second my mind was utterly confused and disorientated, but then I smiled as I realised exactly where I was. Blaine's apartment, and more specifically in Blaine's bed. He was right it was comfortable; there was no way I'd be able to get out of it. I could hear the faint noise of running water; Blaine must be having a shower. I stretched out across the bed with a contented sigh and then noticed a piece of paper lying on Blaine's pillow.<p>

_I'm in the shower. Did you know you look adorable when you're sleeping? :) Bx_

I laughed and settled back against my pillow, looking up at the ceiling. I thought I'd wake up feeling weird and desperate to go home, but I just felt normal and calm. It was as though being here was the most natural thing in the world. A few minutes later I heard light knocking on the door.

'Kurt?' Blaine whispered through it. 'Are you awake yet?'

'Yeah,' I called out, attempting to tame my bed hair. 'You can come in you know.'

'Well it's just… you wanted to see my natural hair so um…'

I sat up straight in the bed, feeling like an excited child at Christmas. 'Oh my god, I have to see it,' I squealed and Blaine laughed.

'Ok,' he sighed. 'I'm coming in.'

The door opened and in came Blaine, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and with the cutest mop of curly hair I'd ever seen. Oh fuck, and now my heart was well and truly done for. Blaine Anderson would most definitely be the death of me.

'Oh wow,' I whispered. Blaine came and sat by me on the bed, looking incredibly self-conscious and scratching at his neck nervously.

'So this is my hair,' he mumbled.

'Can I?' I asked, my hand already halfway to his head. Blaine nodded. I ran my hands through the soft curls and resisted the urge to moan happily at the sensation. 'Your hair is gorgeous Blaine, why do you ruin it with all that gel?'

'It's hideous,' Blaine retorted.

'Oh Blaine,' I sighed and I stroked his cheek gently. 'It's beautiful.'

'You're not just saying that?'

'Of course not, I love it, and it feels amazing.'

'Anyway, did you sleep alright?' he asked, changing the subject. I decided not to push it for now as it obviously made him really uncomfortable.

'I slept fine,' I smiled as Blaine took my hand. 'I didn't even wake up once.'

'So the sleepover was a success then?'

'Yeah, big success.' Blaine was looking at me intently and I wondered what was going through his mind. 'Will I be invited over again?'

'Any time you want,' Blaine winked, causing my pulse to quicken. 'I've loved having you around, and waking up to you felt so nice.'

'Good. Um, can I have a shower? I bet I look a right state.'

'You look amazing,' Blaine whispered and he leaned forwards and kissed my forehead. 'And you don't need to ask.'

'Ok,' I beamed.

* * *

><p>After having my shower and getting dressed, I walked back into the bedroom to see Blaine picking up a tub of gel from on top of his chest of drawers. I paused and put my hand on my hip. Blaine looked at me in amusement, his eyebrows raised. 'Er... something wrong Kurt?'<p>

'What are you doing?' I gasped.

'Um, gelling my hair,' Blaine smiled, looking at me as though I was slightly mad. 'I would have thought that was obvious.'

'No way, keep it curly,' I pouted.

'Yes way.'

'No way,' I repeated and I rushed forwards and snatched the tub from his hands.

'Hey,' he laughed and he tried to take it back but I lifted the tub as high as I could in the air 'That's not fair, you know I can't reach.'

'Exactly,' I smirked and then Blaine got a look of pure triumph in his eyes. Uh oh. 'Blaine, what are you-'

But I was suddenly being tackled to the ground and Blaine was tickling my sides. The gel fell out of my hand and disappeared underneath the bed but instead of going to retrieve it Blaine pinned me down on the floor and straddled me, a smirk playing on his lips. Damn the little hobbit for being stronger than me.

'Do you surrender?' he whispered in a low and sexy voice. I tried unsuccessfully to wriggle free but couldn't, not that I'd tried that hard, I was quite comfortable where I was.

'Y-yes,' I panted.

'Good,' Blaine smiled and he ever so slowly leaned in and kissed me. His hands loosened around my wrists and they settled on my neck instead. I reached up and tangled my fingers in Blaine's hair, and smiled into the kiss as I travelled through soft curly locks. I hummed happily and Blaine pulled back, laughing. He sat up straight, still straddling me and took my hands in his.

'You're obsessed with my hair,' he said, shaking his head playfully.

'Guilty,' I replied. 'When was the last time you actually left this apartment without gelling your hair?'

'Oh god... two years maybe.'

'Really? Wow... um, were you...'

'What?'

'Were you bullied or something?'

'Over my hair? A little. The first day I started at Dalton was when I gelled my hair. It was my mom's idea because I was freaking out about it.'

'I bet you looked so cute as a kid.'

'Oh no, when you meet my mom you're gonna coo over baby photos aren't you?' Blaine asked and I giggled, mainly because it was true. Baby photos of Blaine? Oh. My. God.

'Yeah probably,' I shrugged. 'Hey, let's go out and get a coffee without you touching your hair.'

'I don't know about th-'

'Please? For me? Pretty please?'

'Ok,' Blaine sighed. 'But you have to do something for me in return.'

'Oh?' I asked nervously.

'You have to let me get a chocolate muffin with my coffee too,' Blaine smiled and I burst out laughing.

'Deal. When shall we leave?'

'Now? I'm dying for a muffin.'

'Ok, but the last time I looked, you were sitting on me Blaine.'

'Oh yeah, hmm...'

'Actually, you kind of ended our kiss a bit prematurely just now,' I said and Blaine raised an eyebrow.

'You think so huh?'

'Yup.'

'Well I guess five more minutes without a chocolate muffin won't do me any harm,' Blaine said and then he leaned back down to kiss me again.

* * *

><p>'I'm meeting a friend tomorrow night,' I told Blaine when he asked what I was up to on Friday night. I was lying in my bed beneath the covers and talking to him on the phone. It had become a routine of ours now; we'd both get ready for bed and then spend an hour discussing nonsense to each other. I loved every minute of it, especially when Blaine would try to disguise the sound of a yawn, not wanting me to think he was bored.<p>

'So you're gonna miss the Hummel dinner then?' Blaine asked in surprise. 'Make sure your Dad knows I'm not to blame.'

'Oh no, I'm meeting him after,' I laughed. It was really lovely how much Blaine wanted my Dad's approval. He was such a gentleman.

'Him?'

'Yes, him.'

'As in a guy?' Blaine asked.

'Yes,' I giggled.

'Oh.'

'You ok?'

'Yeah. So who is it?'

'Um... Sam.'

'Sam?'

'Yeah, the blonde guy from the McKinley reunion,' I explained.

'Oh... _him_,' Blaine said and I laughed, knowing that would be his reaction when he remembered exactly who Sam was.

'You are so adorable.'

'Should I be worried?'

'Really Blaine? You're asking that?'

'Well it looked like he was chatting you up at that reunion.'

'Why do you say that?' I asked. Had it really been that obvious to an onlooker?

'Well he was staring at you and... and you were blushing and giggling.'

'Ok, he did ask me out, but I turned him down. Anyway he's with a guy called Craig now.'

'So he says.'

'I've seen pictures of them on facebook.'

'Hmm sure.'

'Is someone feeling a little jealous?' I teased.

'No.'

'_Blaine_.'

'Ok, just a bit. My super hot boyfriend is going out to see a somewhat good looking gay guy.'

'Somewhat good looking? You don't have to be polite on my account.'

'I'm not, Sam's not my type.'

'Mine neither,' I said.

'Good. Well have fun and don't drink too much.'

'Yes Dad.'

'And make sure you talk about me... a lot.'

'You're hilarious Blaine. Soooo you think I'm super hot huh?'

'I was waiting for you to pick up on that. And yes I do think you're super hot. Especially when you wear tight pants.'

'Pervert.'

'You're blushing right now aren't you?'

'No,' I lied. 'I can't wait to see you on Saturday.'

'Me too,' Blaine replied. 'The days seem so long when I don't see you.'

'They feel like that for me as well,' I said, a lump forming in my throat.

* * *

><p>'Hey,' I beamed when I spotted Sam waiting for me at a table in The Loop. He stood and we hugged before sitting back down again.<p>

'It's great to see you again,' Sam said. 'I know we're meeting up for dinner on Sunday at Mike and Tina's but... it seems silly hanging out just when the old glee crew decide to get together.'

'I agree,' I smiled. 'And it's good to see you too. You look really well.'

'Thanks.'

'And you're probably getting bored of all my texts by now.'

'Of course not,' Sam laughed. 'I really enjoy talking to you, I don't actually have that many gay friends.'

'Me neither.'

'Well I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got the cocktail of the day,' Sam explained and then he pointed to a large pitcher and two glasses on the table.

'Alcohol is alcohol,' I shrugged and Sam poured our drinks.

'Have you had a good week?'

'Not bad,' I replied. 'Had a parents evening for my class on Wednesday which was interesting. It amazes me how all parents think their kid is the best thing since slice bread.'

'Bit of a wakeup call huh?'

'Just a little,' I laughed. 'But at least it's over for another six months.'

'It must be pretty cool to hang out with kids when you're not feeling too good, they're comedy gold.'

'Oh they sure are, sometimes my cheeks ache from laughing all day. So have you had a good week?'

'Yeah, but it's been pretty quiet. Had a photo shoot on Tuesday and then mainly been spending time with Craig.'

'What does he think about you being a model?' I asked.

'He's really cool about it and loves boasting to his friends that he's dating me. We met when I was doing a job so he's always known.'

'I bet he loves boasting. So you two are really happy then?'

Sam nodded. 'Yeah, everything's perfect at the moment.'

'I'm really pleased for you.'

'So... are you seeing anyone?' Sam asked and I felt myself blushing. 'Every time I've asked you by text you've completely avoided the question.'

'Sorry,' I apologised, stirring the straw in my drink nervously. 'I'm a bit shy about things like that... but yes I am seeing someone.'

'I knew it,' Sam beamed. 'Come on, I need details. Who is he?'

'His name's Blaine.'

'Blaine? That sounds kinda familiar.'

'Yeah he was the guy I sang with at the reunion.'

'Oh _that_ guy. Wow he was hot,' Sam gasped, looking pleased for me. 'Good for you.'

'Thanks, it's only been a few weeks but it's all good.'

'Who chased who?'

'Well I drunkenly told him I liked him and then a couple of weeks later he asked me out.'

'Is he treating you right?' Sam asked as he took a long gulp of his cocktail as though it was merely water.

'Yeah he is, he's a total gentleman. We knew each other for a while before we got together... we're just really happy at the moment.'

'Is he good in bed?' Sam winked and I froze. He immediately looked guilty for the personal question. 'Oh Kurt, I'm sorry, that was rude, just igno-'

'No it's ok, it's just... we um... haven't er...'

'Taking it slow? That's cool. Craig and I waited a couple of weeks before we slept together. I wanted to make sure he wasn't just a rebound thing you know?'

'And you're sure he's not?' I asked, thinking two weeks of dating was nothing really.

'Definitely. We have so much in common and just make each other laugh all the time.'

'So he's special then?' I asked and Sam sighed happily as he refilled his glass.

'I think he could be the one Kurt.'

I raised my eyebrows. 'Wow. Sam, that's amazing.'

'Do you think Blaine might be the one for you?'

'I really think he might,' I replied with a big smile.

'Well enough talk about our significant others who aren't even here... do you remember that time we locked Mr Schue in the choir room?'

'Oh yeah,' I laughed and Sam was laughing too. 'That was hilarious. The two hour detention we all got was well worth it.'

'He deserved it for wanting to do disco at sectionals. I mean disco? What a pile of crap.'

'I'll drink to that,' I agreed and we clinked glasses. 'McKinley seems like a lifetime ago now.'

'I know what you mean. When you're sixteen you think you're all grown up but we knew nothing really apart from from school life, tv and music.'

'Yeah, I think life experience makes you who you are. A lot of people aren't able to fully express themselves in a school environment.'

'That's so true. There's people who seemed really quiet and nerdy at school and then you find them on facebook and they've turned completely wild.'

'Same can be said the other way around too,' I added, thinking about my own change from extrovert to introvert. 'So be honest with me, what guy in glee club did you find the most attractive?'

Sam laughed. 'Oh my god, I can't believe you're making me tell you this...'

'Well?' I prompted.

'Ok... Puck.'

If I had been taking a sip of my drink just then, I would gave spat it all out in shock. '_Puck_?'

'Yeah,' Sam blushed. 'I guess I was drawn to the bad guy thing. Whatever you do, _don't_ ever tell him.'

'I won't,' I laughed.

'How about you?' Sam asked.

'Oh um... Mr Schue,' I lied. Well I wasn't about to tell Sam it was him. 'When I was that age I was only really attracted to older men.'

'Yeah Mr Schue was kinda hot for a teacher, awful fashion sense though. Do you remember all those vests?'

I cringed. 'I can't believe he thought they were cool. But who am I to judge, some of my outfits in school were truly hideous.'

'They were hilarious for us though. It was always fun wondering what you were going to turn up wearing.'

'Well I'm glad to have been of service,' I smiled. 'I know my Dad gave me some rather funny looks in the morning sometimes.'

'Your Dad was awesome though, I loved how he stuck up for you with the school and stuff.'

'Yeah he was great,' I smiled. 'How were your parents when you came out to them?'

Sam laughed. 'Shocked.'

'I'm not surprised.'

'They'd basically seen me with girlfriend after girlfriend and then suddenly I announced I was into men. I'm not sure they actually believed me at first, but they quickly got used to it when I started having boyfriends. They've been great, and just told me they wanted me to be happy.'

'That's good. It's what every child should hear from their parents. Being yourself is what everyone should be entitled to, not told it's somehow wrong and unnatural.'

'Hopefully one day the world will change. I mean, it's a lot better than what it used to be right? The fight for equality is going in the right direction.'

'True, well except for Russia who appear to be going backwards.'

'I don't understand it all,' Sam replied with a shake of his head.

'Look at us having such a grown up conversation,' I said and we both laughed.

'Shall I get us more drinks?' Sam asked as he finished what was left in his glass.

'I'll get this one,' I said, standing up. 'Same again or something different?'

'Something different,' Sam smiled.


	16. Chapter 16

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

I liked the people I worked with, I really did. But get them all together in one place and it's just constant shop talk. I had nothing else to do tonight so found myself saying yes to going out for a few drinks. We were at a bar and on my way back from a bathroom break I sent Kurt a needy text.

_If your night with Sam happens to end early, come and get me. I'm at the Ice Wharf Bar with some work colleagues and bored out of my mind :( Bx_

Was it pathetic that I was really missing Kurt? We'd seen each other twice for coffee since he stayed over, but it just wasn't enough. I know it was far too early in our relationship to consider it, but last weekend had given me a taster of what living with Kurt would be like. It had been amazing to wake up and the first thing I saw was Kurt's angelic face, sleeping peacefully and the only sound coming from his slight heavy breathing.

Fuck, I really had it bad. An hour past and I looked down to find myself holding an empty glass, so I excused myself from a rather heated stationary cupboard debate to get myself another drink from the bar.

'Blaine?'

I turned around at the sound of my name to see the very last person I expected standing in front of me. It was Mark, my ex. _Shit_. That was all I needed, and now I was gawping. Jesus, say something Blaine...

'Oh my god... Mark, how are you?'

'Yeah good thanks,' he replied, smiling at me. 'How are you?'

'Fine.'

'You look a bit startled.'

'Sorry, it's just a shock seeing you, that's all.'

'I know, I didn't think it was you at first but then you walked right past me.'

'Did I? Oh sorry,' I apologised. 'My mind was too focused on getting another drink.'

'No worries, you look really good by the way.'

'Thanks, you too.'

'So... are you on a date with someone?' he asked casually.

'Night out with work colleagues,' I replied.

'Blimey, you must be bored.'

'On no, they're a great bunch of people,' I lied. I wasn't going to let Mark know he was right.

'You know, it's so weird bumping into you, I was actually planning on phoning you soon.'

'You were?'

'Yeah... I've really missed you Blaine.'

'Um,' I said quietly, not liking where this was going.

'Seeing you now it just... well it confirms what I've been thinking for a while now... and I've been thinking a lot lately.'

'What about?' I asked, trying to sound as ignorant as possible.

'I think it was wrong of me to just end things the way I did. I was being completely selfish and should have respected your job more. I really think we could give our relationship another shot Blaine.'

'Oh Mark, um... I'm with someone... sorry.'

'Well it can't be anything serious; we didn't break up that long ago.'

'It is pretty serious actually,' I told him. Mark stepped closer to me and gave me one of his cheeky smiles. Oh no, what was he going to say now?

'Look, how about I ditch my friends, you ditch your colleagues and we go back to yours and fuck the shit out of each other? Refresh our memories... then you can decide which one of us is better in the sack.'

'Oh my... I can't believe you just said that,' I said, stunned. 'Relationships aren't purely based on sex Mark.'

'No?' Mark scoffed. 'I bet I have a bigger dick than him.'

I opened my mouth to respond but all I could think was that I'd never even seen Kurt's... _thing_. I hadn't even seen a huge amount of his flesh. Mark was smirking at me now, taking my silence as confirmation that yes, he was the one better equipped downstairs.

'Look, I don't-'

'Oh come on Blaine, you can't deny that our sex life was great... well towards the end it became non-existent but we were fucking every night for the first year. We can get that back, this break was just what we both needed.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I walked into the bar Blaine said he was in and began to walk around, looking for him. I wanted to surprise him so hadn't let him know I was on my way. Just as I was coming to the conclusion that he must have left I spotted him at the bar, my heart lifting instantly. He was talking to someone who I assumed must be a guy from work.

But as I got nearer I stopped dead in my tracks as I looked more closely at Blaine's companion. It was Blaine's ex, Mark. Ok, and now my heart was racing. Blaine wouldn't have arranged to meet him, would he? What should I do? Leave? But why should I? _Oh for fucks sake Kurt, grow a pair, be confident, Blaine's your boyfriend_. So I took a deep breath, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach and carried on.

'Hey,' I said brightly but feeling anything but, and coming to a stop by them. I put an arm around Blaine's waist and Mark eyed me with disgust. Blaine looked at me with a worried expression, clearly surprised to see me. I smiled at him, trying to let him know everything was ok.

'Oh my God, Kurt... hi.'

'Sam drank too much. I don't think he's used to mixing his drinks, so I had to put him in a cab... and here I am,' I explained.

'Is he ok?' Blaine asked. 'I hope my text didn't jinx your night.'

'Yeah he'll be fine. So...' I gave a quick glance to Mark and then back to Blaine again.

'Oh... um, Kurt this is Mark... we ran into each other.'

'So you're the new boyfriend?' Mark asked me.

'That's me,' I replied. 'And you're the ex-boyfriend?'

'Indeed,' Mark said in a bored tone. 'I was the one that left Blaine by the way.'

'He knows, we don't have secrets,' Blaine told him defensively. 'Anyway, it was nice seeing you Mark, take care.'

'You too Blaine,' Mark replied, looking pissed off. He walked away and then Blaine took my hand in his.

'Are you ok?' he asked as he led me away from the bar, looking for an empty table.

'Yeah I'm fine. Was it ok that I came over? Should I have waited until you stopped talking?'

'Of course it's ok... and I'm sorry about him.'

'Was your meeting really a coincidence or was he looking for you?' I asked as we sat down, our hands still connected.

'Yeah we just bumped into each other, well as far as I'm aware anyway.'

'Was it just a friendly chat then?'

'Not really... he said he wanted to get back together.'

'Oh wow... um...'

'I told him no because of you,' Blaine said, smiling at me. 'I told him it was serious between us.'

'What did he say to that?' I asked, trying to sound conversational. Blaine gave a nervous laugh before answering.

'He... he er... offered me a night of passion,' Blaine said with a roll of his eyes. 'Seriously, some people just have no morals.'

'Hmm, that's a bit forward of him,' I mumbled quietly, hatred and anger boiling up inside me.

'I know... anyway, enough about him,' Blaine said with a shake of his head and then he grinned at me like a child at Christmas. 'I'm so glad you're here. I've been moping about all evening missing you.'

'I was missing you too, especially when I read your text. I was secretly glad when Sam said he was feeling ill. Well not glad that he was ill, but glad I'd get to see you.'

'Drink?' Blaine asked.

'Yes please,' I replied and Blaine got up and walked over to the bar.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'No.'

'I don't believe you,' Kurt laughed.

'No, I didn't have a crush on any of the Warblers at school,' I told Kurt, but I felt myself blushing slightly as I took a sip of my drink.

'Come on, you must have done,' Kurt objected with a raised eyebrow. 'Was it Wes?'

'No... God, no way…'

'Jeff?'

'No. Ok, so I _may_ have had a slight crush on Nick at one point, but he was with Jeff, so it was irrelevant.'

'Hmm, Nick… ok,' Kurt smirked.

'Well what about you? Who was your high school crush?'

'Oh… I can't say,' Kurt cringed.

'You can't say that,' I gasped. 'You made me tell you my crush.'

'I didn't _make_ you.'

'Put it this way, do I have to tickle you again until you surrender, or do you want to do this the easy way?'

'Ok… fine... it was Sam,' Kurt said reluctantly.

'Sam? You crushed on Sam? The guy you've just sent home in a cab?'

'Yes him. He was straight back then. But I always had a feeling he might be gay, so my misguided crush turned out to be not so misguided after all.'

'And do you still think he's... you know... hot?' I asked and I knew there was a jealous tone to my voice.

Kurt shook his head. 'Of course not.'

'He's a male model though.'

'So? Are you still crushing on Nick?'

'No way,' I replied, making a face. 'Can we change the subject now, I'm starting to feel queasy.'

'Sure,' Kurt laughed. 'So I've been thinking...'

'Yeah?'

'Can I stay over tonight?' Kurt asked with a shy little smile. I wasn't expecting that question and it took me by surprise.

'Um...' I stuttered.

'You don't want me to?' Kurt asked with wide eyes.

'Fuck... Kurt sorry, of course I want you to, I really want you to, but... well don't you need your overnight stuff?'

'I left a spare toothbrush in your bathroom, and I guess washing my face with plain water for once won't exactly kill me.'

'I have soap Kurt,' I laughed and Kurt looked at me in despair.

'Oh please, that stuff you call soap in your bathroom might as well be a lump of lard.'

'Hey stop offending my soap... anyway, what about your PJ's?'

'Er... yeah that's a point.'

'I could lend you some sweat pants and a t-shirt,' I offered, expecting him to cringe at the mere thought of it, but his face took on a contemplative look as he mulled the idea over.

'I guess that wouldn't be a completely horrible idea,' Kurt smiled.

'I'm slowly turning you into a slob,' I said and we both laughed.

* * *

><p>Kurt stumbled a little as we walked into my apartment. I have to admit it took a couple of attempts for me to get the key to fit in the lock. I closed the door and kicked my shoes off. Kurt tried to do the same but he nearly fell over. I caught him and we both laughed. I bent down and removed his boots for him, before standing up again and taking his hands.<p>

'Someone's a bit drunk,' I said and Kurt just looked at me with a huge smile on his face. He was happy and it was the most wonderful sight.

'Just a little,' Kurt shrugged.

'Do you want to go to bed?' I asked and Kurt nodded. It was way past midnight and we'd both been up since dawn. We went into my bedroom and Kurt sat on the bed. I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the lips. Then I was just about to turn around and search through my wardrobe for something Kurt could sleep in when my hand was grasped and Kurt was pulling me down onto the bed.

'Kurt, what the-'

But I was silenced by lips descending on my own, and then he was straddling me, his hands caught up in my hair. It was all so quick I barely had time to register what was going on. My alcohol fuelled body was responding by its own accord.

'... bloody... hair gel...' Kurt complained between kisses.

I wrapped my arms around Kurt's neck and deepened the kiss. Kurt moaned into my mouth and then... oh god... Kurt's tongue was thoroughly fucking my mouth. Jesus fucking grnkgfesfhjknjgtd. This felt amazing. Kurt felt amazing. Fuck.

Kurt grinded his hips into me and the indecent groan I involuntary let out shook me into reality. Shit, what were we doing? I very reluctantly pulled Kurt's lips off mine and looked up at him.

'Kurt what are you doing?' I asked breathlessly.

'I want to make you feel good,' was his reply and then he pushed the top of my shirt open and started kissing along my collarbone. I gasped as his teeth dragged along my skin; my toes curling up at the sheer pleasure of Kurt doing these things to me. I shamefully closed my eyes and allowed the sensations to take over for a moment. I felt myself getting hard, and my body was screaming at me to thrust upwards into Kurt, to let him feel how fucking turned on I was. But...

'Kurt, stop.'

I opened my eyes and grabbed both of Kurt's wrists and pulled us both up into a sitting position. Kurt was frowning at me, his face flushed, his hair tousled and his lips full and swollen and... Oh god.

'What's wrong?' Kurt panted, his lustful eyes gazing right into mine.

'We need to stop,' I told him.

'Why?'

'Because... because it's too much... we were going too far and I don't want us doing something we'll end up regretting.'

'Oh,' Kurt whispered, looking away from me. 'I see.'

'Kurt…' I began to say but he pulled his hands free and hurried off the bed. Then he ran out of the room and I heard what was undoubtedly a sob escape from him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

* * *

><p>The silence was ringing in my ears. I hadn't moved an inch since Kurt stormed off. At least he hadn't left the apartment; thankfully he went in the other direction to the front door. I didn't want to follow him straight away; I needed to get my thoughts together and let him have his own space for a moment. Shit what had just happened here?<p>

I let ten minutes pass and then I left my bedroom. I found Kurt sitting on the sofa, hugging his knees to his chest and staring blankly ahead. Joey was sitting on the floor in front of him, watching him quizzically. At any other time the scene would have made me laugh, but this wasn't a laughing matter. I felt my heart breaking. All I'd tried to do was the right thing and instead made things ten times worse and Kurt feel stupid. Was I over analysing everything too much?

'Hey,' I said softly, careful not to startle him but Kurt didn't move a muscle. I sat down next to him, leaving a bit of space between us. Joey jumped up and settled himself on my lap, wanting to be stroked. 'Kurt?'

'I'm sorry,' he sobbed quietly.

'No Kurt, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.'

'It's ok, you don't need to explain, I understand.'

'Understand what?' I asked, feeling confused now. Kurt lowered his feet to the floor and shifted slightly towards me. He looked at me, his eyes full of tears. I went to hold his hand but he pulled it back, shaking his head. 'Kurt what's going on?'

'I understand Blaine... and I don't blame you.'

'You're gonna need to spell it out for me, I don't know what you're talking about.'

'You don't s-see me in that way. I don't turn you on... I don't g-get you excited... I get it now.'

'_What_?' I gasped.

'Don't deny it,' Kurt said quietly.

'Well I am fucking denying it,' I almost shouted. 'That's... that's absurd. I do find you sexually attractive. Jesus Kurt, you're stunning. I wouldn't be with you if you didn't ignite that... that part of me.'

I wanted to tell Kurt that our little fumble in the bedroom had left me with a rock hard erection but didn't think it was appropriate. I couldn't believe I'd made him feel undesirable. I was such an idiot. Joey stood up and stretched, and then he walked over and sat on Kurt's lap instead. We both laughed softly despite the difficult situation we were currently in. Damn, first my parents and now Kurt, it seemed I was dropping down the list of Joey's favourites.

'Then why?' Kurt sighed after a few moments of silence as he stroked Joey absently.

'Why what?'

'Why did you reject me?'

'I... I didn't.'

'No? Well it sure felt like it.'

'I'm really sorry I made you feel that way. It was the last thing I wanted. Um, look... can I try and explain myself?'

Kurt shrugged. 'Sure.'

'Ok... just two weeks ago we had a conversation at Dalton where you told me you weren't sure you'd ever be able to... you know... and I fully understand and respect that, you know I do. But tonight, in a drunken state of, I don't know, heightened confidence, you're suddenly eager to... fool around? We both know this wouldn't be happening if we'd both been sober. Tonight just isn't the right time to push our relationship further.'

'I'm so stupid,' Kurt whispered, looking away from me. I reached for his hand again and this time he let me take it.

'You're not stupid Kurt, you're just emotional. So am I, and it's a good thing. If you're feeling something regardless of whether it's a positive feeling or a negative feeling, you know whatever it is means something to you.'

'You always know exactly what to say,' Kurt smiled and then he whispered, 'I'm so lucky.'

'Me too,' I told him with an edge to my voice. Kurt's insecurities were heart breaking considering what an amazing person he was. 'Kurt, I like to think that one day we will experience our first time together, but we would build up to it, and most definitely discuss it first, it won't be after a night of drinking and an awkward encounter with my arsehole of an ex.'

'But you turned down easy sex Blaine,' Kurt said, looking at me with tired eyes.

'What's that got to do with anything?'

'You could be having sex right now with Mark, but you're not... you chose me and... I don't know, I feel like you deserve something for-'

'Oh my god, you don't owe me anything. Fuck, don't ever let me hear you say that again. The choice was easy; I'm in love with you, not him. Contrary to popular belief, sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship.'

'I don't think many people would agree with you,' Kurt replied, a little smile playing on his lips.

'You know, I had a feeling the Mark thing had affected you more than you let on. You're pretty drunk Kurt and I'm not that far behind, we'll talk more in the morning once we've sobered up ok?'

'Ok. Do you want me to sleep in the other room?' Kurt asked, looking downwards.

'Of course not, come here.'

I scooted Joey off Kurt's lap and he wandered off in the direction of the guest bedroom, which is where he mostly slept. Then I pulled Kurt up off the sofa. He looked at me and we smiled at each other, I could see the torment in his eyes, maybe I shouldn't have told him what Mark had really said but I didn't want to lie to him. Kurt deserved honesty and if it led to us talking more and figuring things out, well… all the better. I led us back to my bedroom to get some sleep.

* * *

><p>It was nearly ten in the morning and I let myself into the apartment, balancing two coffees with one hand awkwardly. Unclipping his leash, Joey ran in ahead of me and I watched him stop by the bathroom door, which was closed, and he yapped. I shook my head and laughed at him.<p>

'Kurt I've got coffee,' I shouted through the door as I passed.

'Ok, I'll be out in a minute, just getting dressed.'

'And Joey's waiting for you.'

'Aww.'

I put the coffees down and sat on the sofa. A few minutes later I heard the bathroom door open and then a lot cute doggy speak being directed at Joey. Then Kurt walked into the living room, his hair still damp from his shower and he was wearing his jeans from last night and one of my old faded t-shirts. Wow.

'Is it ok that I borrowed this?' Kurt asked, smiling at me.

'Yeah of course, you look really good in that.'

'This old thing?' Kurt frowned and I just nodded. He sat down beside me and picked up his coffee. 'Thanks for this.'

'No problem. How's the head?'

'Not bad, I've had a lot worse,' Kurt laughed. 'Hey did I admit to my school crush on Sam last night?'

'You certainly did,' I replied, holding back the laughter as Kurt grimaced.

'Oh god,' he groaned. 'I hope he never finds out. Does Nick know you had a crush on him?'

'No, and I'd never say anything. Although it only lasted about two weeks until a different crush started.'

'So what would you like to do this morning? Or do you want me to leave if you have other stuff you need to-'

'Kurt, I'm yours all day if you'll have me. I didn't have plans for this weekend apart from a few phone calls I need to make. What do you feel like doing?'

'Nothing,' Kurt smiled. 'I really feel like getting back into bed and... I don't know, just relaxing for a bit.'

'I like the sound of that.'

We finished our coffees and then went back to the bedroom. Kurt stripped off his jeans and I couldn't help sneaking a look at his legs, well it would be rude not to right? Unfortunately my baggy old t-shirt reached past Kurt's underpants so I couldn't get a sneaky peak at _that_ area. I was pleased Kurt was becoming more comfortable with me as time went on and I was so looking forward to the next stage, no top. At least I hoped that would be the next stage.

Kurt smiled at me and then got under the duvet. I stripped down to just my top too. Then we were both lying on our sides on the bed, facing each other. For a moment we just looked into each other's eyes and then we burst out laughing.

'We are so cute,' I said.

'That's quite a statement,' Kurt giggled. 'Well you're definitely cute, possibly the cutest thing I've ever... actually, no... Joey beats you in the cute stakes, sorry.'

'Oh my god,' I gasped, pretending to look upset. 'You're just with me for my dog aren't you?'

'I'm sorry you had to find out this way.'

'I'll live,' I laughed and reached a hand across to lightly stroke Kurt's cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment, sighing at the feeling. He bit down on his bottom lip and suddenly looked a bit tense.

'So... last night,' Kurt said quietly and he started drawing patterns on my arm with his finger.

'Are you sure you want to talk about it now?' I asked and Kurt nodded.

'No time like the present huh?'

'Ok, um... you know that Mark's history right? Even if I was single I'd never go back to him.'

'I know... I panicked. Sorry.'

'Kurt, I'd really like to ask you some... delicate questions and I want you to answer honestly ok? Don't tell me what you think I want to hear.'

'Ok, shoot,' Kurt replied uncertainly.

'Are you ready for sex?' I asked bluntly and Kurt flinched slightly.

'No,' he whispered, breaking eye contact for a moment. 'I know last night it seemed like I was... heading that way, but I know at some point I would have freaked out, despite the high alcohol content in my body.'

'I thought that too,' I smiled. 'Ok, so let's take things down a notch, and remember to be honest... do you feel as though you'd like to try oral?'

'Um... I don't know... I don't think so... maybe um...'

'Do you think you might like to receive but not give?' I asked, trying to work out what Kurt might be thinking. He was blushing now and looked so fucking adorable.

'Yeah maybe, but isn't that unfair?'

'What do you mean?'


	17. Chapter 17

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

'Well... if you're prepared to receive, shouldn't you be prepared to like... give?'

'You don't need to see everything as black and white Kurt. Not everyone feels comfortable or likes doing absolutely everything. For instance there are some guys who will always top and never consider being bottom... and vice versa.'

'Which are you?' Kurt asked quietly.

'Sorry?'

'Er... t-top or bottom?' Kurt stuttered.

'Oh, um... I've been both,' I told him and I was blushing now too. I reached out my hand and he took it, smiling sweetly at me.

'Which do you prefer?'

'Probably being top, but both ways are pl... pleasing experiences.' I stopped myself from saying pleasurable, I'm not even sure why given the nature of the discussion we were having. 'So tell me, what are you comfortable with?'

'Um... kissing and stuff,' Kurt said. 'But I do want to have other experiences with you Blaine, and I really hope that one day this whole... physical thing won't be an issue between us and-'

'Kurt it's not an issue,' I argued but he shook his head at me.

'Yes it is Blaine. I know there's so much more to our relationship than building up to... that, but it is an issue. It's a huge issue, but as time goes on I get closer and closer to wanting to take that step with you.'

'Kurt, there's no pressure to do anything.'

'I know. But I'm being honest and I am making progress. Did you notice I've taken my jeans off?'

'Yeah I did notice,' I smiled. 'That's why I took my pants off too. You've got nice legs by the way.'

Kurt laughed loudly and it was so nice to see his whole face light up in happiness. 'You're amazing Blaine.'

'Thanks, you're pretty amazing too,' I replied and for a few moments we just stared into each other's eyes, unblinking.

'Blaine?'

'Mmm?'

'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'What's sex like?'

'Oh... well it's what you make of it really.'

'How do you mean?'

'For example, there's a big difference between a drunken one night stand with a stranger and making love with the person you're in a committed relationship with... you know, I would have thought this was something you discussed in therapy.'

'I did, I just... wanted to hear your view on it. Oh and Blaine?'

'Yeah?'

'Thank you for not gelling your hair this morning,' Kurt smiled and he reached a hand up to run it through my curls.

'_Finally_,' I gasped. 'I've been waiting for you to notice. I went out on my own like this and everything.''

'Aww, you're making such good progress Blaine, but of course I noticed as soon as I saw you,' Kurt smirked.

'You little tease,' I whispered and I grabbed onto Kurt's t-shirt, well _my_ t-shirt, and pulled him towards me, our lips meeting in a long overdue kiss, all teeth and tongue and quiet moans.

* * *

><p>Before I'd even got to work on Wednesday morning, Kurt had sent me a text asking to ring him at lunchtime and that it was important. He'd put a smiley face on the end so I knew it was nothing bad or anything, but it didn't stop me feeling pretty tense all morning, although a string of texts between my brother and I kept me sane through a boring meeting about interpersonal therapy approaches blah blah blah.<p>

_I totally aced my audition. Just saying._

_Did you do a lot of pointing?! :P B._

_Ha ha very funny. Don't underestimate the point._

_On the contrary, that day you came and gave the Warblers an "acting" class on pointing was awesome! We still talk about it. B._

_It was pretty awesome. And I was totally right about Broadway being dead._

_Of course you were, although one of Kurt's oldest friends is a rising Broadway star. B._

_Really? What's her name?_

_Rachel something, she's currently playing the sister in Wicked. B._

_Cool. Although it's much better to be a movie star. One day huh?_

_You'll get there Coop, I'm proud of you. I hope you get this part, then maybe you could move out of your apartment and buy a nice beach house. B._

_Would you come and visit then?_

_Maybe! B._

_So how's Kurt? Did you see him over the weekend?_

_Yeah he stayed over Friday night :) B._

_Oooooh things are moving along nicely?_

_Huh?! B._

_Well surely you'll be asking him to move in soon?__You lived with that idiot for years._

_Oh thanks! I'm getting a taster of what living with Kurt would be like and hope to take that step but it might be a bit soon for him. B__._

_Well I want to know as soon as you ask him ok? And no planning to propose unless you talk to me first!__LOL. _

_O...kay! B._

At 13:02 I sat down at my desk and dialled Kurt's number, just as he'd asked me to. He picked up on the first ring. 'Hi.'

'Hey, what's up?' I asked, picking up a pen and fiddling with it.

'Big news,' Kurt replied. 'Are you sitting down?'

'I am, yeah.'

'You're officially being invited to dinner this Friday.'

'What? Wow, um... really?'

'Yep.'

'I... I don't know what to say.'

'Well, maybe that you'd love to?'

'Of course, sure,' I said, sounding distracted.

'Blaine, if it makes you feel uncomfortable I'll make an excuse, you don't have to come.'

'No Kurt, I want to come.'

'Are you busy on Friday?'

'No, I'm free.'

'Then why do you sound so... I don't know... so unwilling?'

'I'm not, honestly Kurt, I really want to come, it's just...'

'What is it?'

'Well... I'm nervous,' I admitted, feeling silly.

'That's so sweet,' Kurt gushed, sounding relieved. 'You really don't have to feel nervous though. Carole will adore you; I think she's secretly been in love with you since the day you sent those flowers. And you've already met my Dad. Kip might be coming depending on his college demands, but he's harmless. To be honest, I'm nervous that they'll show _me_ up and ask you all sorts of stupid questions.'

'I just want your family to like me I guess, because I plan on sticking around and with that entails a lot of birthdays, anniversaries, holiday weekends, dinners, christmas, etc... Kurt?... _Kurt_?'

'Yeah, I'm here,' he answered quietly. 'Sorry, I just got a bit choked up then.'

'The thought of me hanging around forever filled you with dread huh?' I joked and Kurt laughed.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

_Kurt and Blaine... sitting in a tree... k-i-s-s-i-n-g!_

Even though Kip's text was pointless and childish I still couldn't help smiling (although shaking my head at the same time). Since telling him I was dating Blaine a few days ago he'd made it his mission to be as annoying as possible.

_Kip... f-u-c-k o-f-f :P_

_LOOOL. Blaine loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not, he loves you, he loves you not..._

_God give me strength!_

_HA HA I WIN!_

Laughing, I put my phone away in my pocket and left my bedroom. I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen where my Dad was. Blaine was due here any moment for dinner and I had butterflies in my tummy. I really wanted tonight to go well. 'Hey Dad.'

'Blaine not here yet?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Does it look like it?'

'Well I hope he's not gonna be late. Carole's making an extra effort tonight.'

'He won't be late, and could you just be nice to him?' I said and he looked at me in shock.

'I am nice. I invited him to dinner didn't I?'

'Yeah well, just go easy on him,' I warned, giving him one of my looks.

'Why doesn't Carole get this speech?'

'Because Carole has manners,' I explained.

'And I don't?'

'Do I have to remind you of the fuss you made when Kip brought his old girlfriend home after junior prom?'

'Well it's a big step and-'

'You made his girlfriend cry Dad.'

'Ok, point taken. Lay off Blaine, got it.'

'Good,' I smiled and then my phone started ringing. Dad laughed at me as I bounced up and down on my feet in excitement.

'Blaine?' he asked and I nodded.

'Hi,' I said into the phone.

'I'm outside,' he said.

'Ok, I'll be right there.' I hung up and ran out of the kitchen to the front door, opening it to find a smiling, but also nervous looking Blaine standing there holding a gorgeous bouquet of pink flowers. 'Aww, Blaine they're-'

'Not for you,' he interrupted, looking guilty. 'They're for Carole.'

'Trying to score brownie points are you?'

'Of course,' he laughed.

'You'll probably lose points with my Dad though, he never gets Carole flowers,' I said without thinking.

'Oh,' Blaine said quietly, looking worried.

'I'm joking,' I lied, trying to reassure him. 'So are you coming in?'

Blaine walked into the house and I closed the door. I was just about to close the gap between us and kiss him when Carole appeared, looking all excited. 'Good evening Mrs Hummel,' Blaine said straightaway.

'It's so nice to meet you at last,' Carole replied.

'These are for you,' Blaine smiled, holding out the flowers. Carole's eyes lit up and she took them, smelling their scent.

'Oh thank you so much, that was so thoughtful of you,' Carole gushed. 'Burt? Come and say hello to Blaine.'

Dad walked out of the kitchen, a tea towel slung over his shoulder. He eyed the flowers suspiciously before putting his hand out. Blaine shook it. 'Thank you for coming Blaine.'

'Thanks for the invite,' Blaine replied.

'Well you boys make yourself comfortable and we'll call when it's ready,' Carole said and she ushered Dad back towards the kitchen. I turned to Blaine and could see he already looked a little more relaxed.

'You ok?' I asked.

'Yeah, fine.'

'Want to come up to my room?'

'Sure.'

Blaine followed me up the stairs and to my room. It felt weird, apart from family no other guy had ever been in my bedroom... ok maybe the odd electrician or whatever, but never someone I was in love with.

I sat down on the end of my bed and Blaine walked up to me with a smile on his face. He put a leg between my two, easing them apart so he could stand in the space. Then he leaned down to kiss me as I wrapped my arms around his waist. It was passionate and slow; a few times Blaine caught my bottom lip between his and sucked, causing moans and gasps to escape from my throat involuntarily. I could feel Blaine smiling into the kiss, enjoying my reactions. Eventually we parted and I may have whined slightly at the loss.

'I've been dying to do that all day,' Blaine whispered breathlessly as he leaned his forehead against mine.

'You have no self-control,' I giggled.

'Not when it comes to you no.'

'Come and lay with me on the bed.'

'Ok,' Blaine whispered.

With a contented sigh, Blaine laid down on his back, his head resting against a pillow. For a moment I considered doing the same but then I was scooting over to him and put my head on his chest. Blaine's arm wrapped around me and he planted a kiss into my hair. Only twenty minutes went by and we heard my Dad's voice drift up from downstairs.

'Kurt... Blaine... Kip is here.'

'That's our cue,' I sighed, wishing I could lie like this forever, just me and Blaine.

'How did Kip take the news about us?' Blaine asked as we reluctantly got up and moved towards the door.

'He was a bit annoyed I kept it secret, but he's... and I quote "totally happy for you" so yeah, he's fine.'

Blaine and I went downstairs, hand in hand. We entered the living room where Dad and Kip were stood chatting. They stopped when they noticed us and Kip came straight over to shake Blaine's hand.

'Nice to meet you Blaine.'

'You too Kip, I've heard a lot about you from Kurt.'

'Uh oh, can't have been good then,' Kip joked and we all laughed. 'After all, I've been bombarding Kurt was some rather annoying texts.'

'That you have,' I replied with a roll of my eyes.

'Well I just like seeing my big bro happy and it's good to welcome you to our Friday dinner.'

'I'm happy to be of service,' Blaine said and then he turned to my Dad. 'And it's thanks to Burt for inviting me to join you.'

'No problem,' Dad shrugged. 'It gets Kurt off my case at least.'

'Oh thanks Dad,' I said and then Carole appeared in the doorway.

'Dinner's ready boys.'

'I hope you're all starving,' Dad said, earning a light slap on the arm from Carole as he lead the way out of the living room. We all took our seats around the table.

'This looks amazing Carole,' Blaine said.

'Thank you Blaine,' Carole smiled. 'Tuck in everyone.'

'So Blaine, what do you do?' Kip asked as we all picked up our cutlery. I exchanged a nervous glance with my Dad but Blaine didn't look at all bothered by the question.

'Oh, I'm a psychologist,' Blaine told him.

'Really? That's funny because Kurt was seeing a... oh um... never mind.'

'No it's ok,' Blaine said as Dad, Carole and I looked at each other uncomfortably. 'Kurt and I originally met at the psychology centre I work at and then bumped into each other a while later at a bar in town.'

'Oh cool,' Kip replied with a smile.

'So Blaine, you into any sports?' my Dad asked him, changing the subject.

'Yeah, football and baseball. My Dad and big brother are both huge fans so they were hard to ignore when I was growing up.'

'Great. Well if you ever wanna come over and… you know, watch a game or whatever, you're more than welcome. It beats trailing Kurt around the mall for hours on end.'

'_Dad_,' I gasped as everyone else laughed. 'Just because Blaine likes _some_ sports and wears a suit for eighty per cent of his time, it doesn't mean he's not into shopping... right Blaine?'

'Well sure,' Blaine shrugged. 'I guess you could say I'm not at the height of fashion, but I do enjoy it, especially when I'm buying for someone else.'

I beamed at him, thanking my lucky stars for the thousandth time for bringing Blaine into my life. 'Just wait until Christmas, your wardrobe will be in for a surprise.'

'Should I be scared?' Blaine asked with a smile.

'Kurt's got a good eye,' Carole chipped in. 'He always knows what looks best on me and what shoes and accessories to wear.'

Dad looked at Kip and said quietly, 'What are they all going on about?'

'No idea,' Kip joked. 'I zoned out at the mention of shopping. If in doubt just keep eating.'

'You two are beyond help in the fashion stakes,' I told them and we all laughed, because it was completely true.

'So, how old are you Blaine?' Kip asked.

'Twenty eight,' Blaine replied.

'Twenty eight? You like so much younger,' Kip said, pointing his fork at him.

'Oh thanks,' Blaine smiled.

'He has a PhD so he's technically Doctor Anderson,' I told Kip proudly.

'That's _so_ cool. Does it say doctor on your credit cards?'

'No,' Blaine replied. 'I can use doctor but I choose not to outside of work.'

'Are you mad? I'd love it. Can you imagine, Doctor Kip Hummel.'

'In your dreams,' I muttered and Kip stuck his tongue out at me.

'How many siblings have you got?' Carole asked Blaine.

'Just a brother. His name's Cooper. He lives in LA and works as an actor, mainly in plays and commercials, stuff like that.'

'Does he ever do Broadway?' Kip asked and Blaine laughed.

'Well he once said that Broadway was lame and dead, but I think the older he's got he might be coming round to the idea. Personally, I think he's more suited to that than tv work.'

'When I was in New York with some friends a few months ago I went to see Rachel in Wicked,' Kip explained. 'She was great; I definitely think she'll be given a starring role soon.'

'Do you think so?' Blaine asked, turning to me.

'I haven't seen her in anything. I've never actually been to New York.'

Blaine looked taken aback. 'You've never been to New York?'

I shook my head. 'No.'

'So Kurt, any plans for your birthday in two weeks?' Carole asked me.

'Um, I haven't really thought about it,' I replied. To be honest, I hadn't properly celebrated my birthday since I was seventeen, which of course my family knew about. But this year would be completely different. I was much happier and I actually had a boyfriend to celebrate it with.

'We could go out for a family meal,' Dad suggested, but then he looked at Blaine and backtracked a little. 'Unless you and Blaine want to do something, it's totally up to you Kurt.'

'I'll let you know,' I smiled.

'Any present requests?' Blaine asked me. I was about to say, '_You wrapped up in a bow_', but decided against it due to the audience.

'Surprise me,' I said.

* * *

><p>After dinner we all went and sat in the living room to have coffee. Then Kip had to leave which left Blaine and I alone on the sofa. He turned to me with a smile. 'I like your family.'<p>

'They like you too,' I replied. 'I'm so relieved tonight has gone well. I was worried they'd scare you off.'

'Nobody could scare me off.'

'Good,' I smiled.

'Should um… should I get going as well?' he asked.

'No,' I whined, grabbing Blaine's hand as though he was about to run off and leave. 'You can stay as long as you like. Actually...'

'What?'

'I was going to ask if you'd like to stay the night?'

'Really?' Blaine smiled and I nodded. 'I'd love to.'

'Wait here I sec,' I said and I left the room and went into the kitchen where Dad and Carole were doing the washing up. 'Um... Dad, can I ask you something?'

'Sure, what's up?' he replied, turning away from the sink.

'I was wondering if Blaine could sleep over, you know... in my room?'

'You're nearly twenty five; you don't need my permission for your boyfriend to stay over. I trust you, and I trust him. But I appreciate you asking.'

'Thanks Dad,' I smiled and went to walk out but he spoke again.

'Kurt, wait up... um... are things still good with you two?'

'Yeah, they're great,' I answered shyly.

'The way he looks at you... I can see that he's completely devoted to you and I have to say, I don't feel as though I need to worry about you anymore.'

'Oh Dad,' I whispered, welling up.

'You can tell him he's welcome here anytime he likes.'

'As long as he brings flowers,' Carole added and we all laughed.

'It's funny, we've not been together that long and I know I'm inexperienced, but I really don't know what I'd do without him. Life doesn't make sense before Blaine came along.'

'Aww, that's love,' Carole beamed.

Dad cleared his throat, looking a little confused. 'Yeah that's er... great.'

'Where's your romantic side?' Carole asked him as we both laughed. Dad just shook his head at us.

'Anyway,' I started. 'I just want to thank you both for being so supportive, and I'm really sorry for everything I've put you through. I could never show you how much it means to me.'

'Hey don't be silly,' Dad replied, giving me a quick hug. 'You're our son.'

'Now get back to Blaine so we can finish up,' Carole said, sounding emotional.

'Ok,' I said and then I went back to Blaine, sitting on the sofa and smiling at him.

'Someone looks happy,' he laughed.

'Let's go to bed,' I whispered.

'I'm not that type of boy,' Blaine gasped, winking at me. I rolled my eyes at him. 'Isn't it a bit early for bed?'

'Perhaps, but I don't think doing this for the next few hours...' I pressed my lips hard against his, pulled back and leaned my forehead against his. '...in front of my Dad and Carole is all that appropriate.'

'Hmm, I like the way you think,' Blaine smiled.

'Then come with me.' I stood up and held out my hand. Blaine took it and we ran up the stairs together, giggling like naughty children.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'No way,' Jeff said.

'Yes way,' I replied, laughing at my friend's facial expression.

'Well... Doctor Blainey Warbler Anderson, I am shocked.'

'You know that's not my real name right?'

'Whatever. So Kirk has no idea what you're planning?'

'None at all,' I smiled.

'How do you even know if Kirk can have the time off work?'

'He's a teacher and I've booked it for the week school's closed.'

'Smart,' Jeff smiled and I just shook my head at him.

'It's not rocket science.'

'Can I ask you something?'

'Of course,' I replied cautiously. 'But seeing as it's you, I may not answer.'

'Rude. Anyway, what's the most romantic thing you ever did for Marcus?'

'Mark? Oh gosh... I don't know... take him out for an expensive meal... or to the theatre.'

'You were with Marcus for eight years right?'

'Three,' I corrected.

'And you and Kirk have been together like... four days?'

'A few weeks,' I corrected again.

'So... what is it about Kirk that makes you want to do something as big as this, yet you've only been with him like two per cent of the time you were with Marcus?'

'Because he's...'

I trailed off. It felt silly to be talking about this with Jeff. 'Because he's what? Come on Blaine I'm not going to judge you.'

I laughed. 'Really?'

'Well it depends what it is.'

'Ok. He's the one Jeff.'

Jeff looked surprised and was momentarily speechless. 'Wow. I wasn't expecting that. Really?'

'Kurt made me realise what love really is. Before I met him I was in a dead end relationship, doing nothing but working and sleeping, letting life pass me by.'

'Ok, but how do you know it's not just the honeymoon phase? All this lovey dovey stuff is bound to wear off at some point.'

'I don't think it will,' I smiled. 'It's not like we got together through lust, that's what is bound to wear off.'

'But what if it does?' Jeff asked again.

'Well what about you and Nick?'

Jeff thought for a moment before answering. 'Ok, good point. But I'd say my relationship with Nick has changed over the years.'

'But for the better, or for the worse?' I asked.

Jeff smiled. 'It's different... but yeah I would say better.'

'Well there you go then.'

'You've got it bad,' Jeff smirked. He took a bite of his burger before fixing me with a quizzical stare. 'So why are taking him on a trip to London? I mean, you could just go on a city break in the US or something.'

'London is a big dream for him because he doesn't believe in a million years he'll ever go. He's also never been to New York and would love to go there, but it's far more accessible. I was thinking we'd take a trip there near Christmas.'

'Two trips? Well Kirk's a lucky guy,' Jeff said. 'Or he just gives you fucking amazing blow jobs.'

I choked on my coffee I'd just taken a sip from and Jeff laughed, pleased with his work. 'Jeff,' I gasped.

'You're blushing Anderson,' Jeff said, pointing his knife at me. 'So, Blainey, not that I don't appreciate a free meal at Breadstix at your expense... and yes I shall me getting a desert... what have I got to do with Kirk's birthday plans?'

'Well, I want to do a Warbler performance for him, on his actual birthday. I'm willing to pay you and anyone else who can spare the time.'

'You're really going to town with this aren't you? But seriously, do you really want us to witness the two of you eye fucking your way through Teenage Dream again?'

'We did not...' I started to protest, but it was no use because we did eye fuck all through Teenage Dream. 'Well it won't be that song and it'll most probably be in front of his Dad too and I'm not going to give him any reason to delimb me by singing a sexually suggestive song.'

'Delimb? Is that even a word?'

'Shut up.'

'Aren't you setting yourself up for a big fall?'

'What do you mean?' I frowned.

'Well say he is "the one" and you're with each other forever and ever, doing so much for this first birthday... how are you going to top it for future birthdays? And anniversaries?'

'I just want this one to be special Jeff.'

'Why?'

'I have my reasons,' I smiled.

'Why don't you go the whole hog and propose to him too?' Jeff teased and I froze, my eyes wide.


	18. Chapter 18

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

'Um...'

'Oh my god, you're thinking about it aren't you?' Jeff gasped.

'No... of course not,' I scoffed, shaking my head.

I wouldn't be proposing to him, that was crazy talk... well not yet anyway. But hypothetically speaking if I _did_ propose to Kurt, would he say yes? Why did the thought of his answer bother me so much when it's not something I was even going to ask-

'What's Kirk's surname?' Jeff asked, pulling me out of my trance.

'Huh? Oh, it's Hummel.'

'So... Blainey Hummel? Kirk Anderson? Kirk and Blainey Anderson-Hummel? Kirk and Blainey Hummel-Anderson?'

'Um... insightful Jeff, thanks.'

'No problem. So when you two get married will he become Doctor Kirk?'

'How the fuck did you manage to get a degree?'

'I'm a genius dude,' Jeff winked at me. I shook my head in despair and then my phone was ringing. I pulled it out, relived to see it wasn't the emergency work number and happy that it was who Jeff and I had just been talking about.

'Hey Kirk,' I answered and then smacked my free hand to my head at the faux pas. I could hear Kurt laughing at the other end. I shot Jeff an evil look, but he was distracted by something on his iPhone.

'Oh god, I'm _so_ sorry Kurt.'

'Don't be,' Kurt replied, laughing hysterically. I was never going to live this one down. 'I take it you're with a Warbler?'

'Jeff, he dragged me out to discuss his anniversary next month.'

'Aww, how many years is it again?'

'Twelve. They're gonna have a party at Nick's parents house.'

'That sounds amazing, anyway I'll let you get back to it; I just wanted to hear your voice.'

'That is super cute,' I whispered.

'I'll see you tomorrow for friday night dinner?'

'Of course. Can't wait.'

'Love you,' Kurt said. 'You don't have to say it back.'

'Yes I do... I love you too, bye.'

'Bye.'

I put my phone down on the table and then looked back up to see Jeff watching me with amusement. 'Problem?'

'You're a good liar Anderson,' Jeff said to me.

'I was hardly going to tell him we were discussing his birthday.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

It was almost eleven at night and I was sitting on the end of my bed, smiling like an idiot at the phone in my hand which was currently flashing _Blaine Calling_.

'Hi Blaine,' I answered.

'Kuuurt, I... I really... like... really love you.'

'I know you do,' I replied, drinking in his, albeit drunk, dreamy voice. 'And I love the fact you make a _very_ cute drunk.'

'I not drunks,' Blaine whined. 'I not... honests.'

'Ok, I believe you,' I laughed. 'How's the conference going?'

'It's _so_ boring. I mean, I have to attend for my contin... contin... ed professhnal developsmonts, but I know this stuff like the back of my hand.'

'Taking advantage of the free bar are you?' I asked and Blaine giggled like a child.

'Noooo,' he said unconvincingly.

'This is only a two day thing right?'

'Yeah but... like... I'm not even in the same state as you and that... it sucks Kurt.'

'Aww I know, I miss you too. But I'll see you in a day and a half and it's my birthday on Saturday.'

'I've got you an awesome present.'

'What is it?' I whispered, hoping in his intoxicated state Blaine would just blurt it out, but no such luck.

'No no no, you have to wait until Satdays.'

'Oh... you're m-making Kurt s-sad,' I said, pretending to cry.

'You're fucking adorable,' Blaine laughed. 'Tell me bout your day baby.'

I was about to settle myself back against my pillows, when I paused. Baby? Blaine called me baby? Oh, wow. It sounded so natural yet I doubted he meant to say it and he probably wouldn't even remember tomorrow. But it felt nice.

'Kurt? Kuuuuuuuuuurt?'

'Yeah, I'm still here,' I replied with a big goofy smile on my face. 'I've had a good day, spent a lot of it discussing Harry Potter with my class.'

'You have all the funs.'

'Well I'd be having even more fun if you were here.'

'How much do you miss me?'

'A lot,' I laughed. 'To the moon and back.'

'The moon is awesome.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I opened my eyes and smiled as I realised not only was I lying beside Kurt, but it was his birthday today. I think I was more excited than him to be honest. I quietly got out of his bed and dressed as silently as I could and grabbed my phone before leaving the room. Then I tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

'Morning,' Carole smiled from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper.

'Morning,' I said back.

'You can sit down Blaine,' Carole said kindly when I stayed in the doorway. 'Our home is your home.'

'Thanks.' I sat down opposite her and put my phone on the table. Carole was such a nice woman, but I still felt a bit uncomfortable, after all this wasn't my house.

'I was just about to make coffee, would you like one?' Carole asked.

'Um, yeah, but let me,' I insisted, standing up and busying myself with making the coffee.

'Is Kurt still asleep?'

'Yeah,' I smiled.

'He takes after his Dad you know, they both have real trouble getting up in the mornings if they're not working.'

'They have a great relationship, Kurt and his Dad.'

'They do. It's lovely,' Carole beamed. 'How's the relationship with your parents?'

'Great now,' I said. 'When I told them I was gay my Mom was fine about it, but my Dad... well, he barely spoke to me for two years. I thought he hated me. Then my Mom locked us in the basement together one night and we just talked and talked. It turned out my Dad felt guilty, he said I'd spend the rest of my life being the target of hate, and everything that came with being "different" and it would be all his fault because he worked too much when I was growing up.'

'But that's nonsense.'

'I know, and he eventually accepted that too.'

'And you have a brother right? Is everything good between you?'

'Oh yeah, Cooper's as mad as a box of frogs. I was really nervous about coming out to him but he already knew. He says he knew before I did.'

'Can I just say, I'm really glad Kurt's found someone like you.'

'Thank you,' I replied quietly. 'I'm glad I found him too. It was a tricky start but we got there in the end. He's really lucky to have you and Burt for parents.'

'I love Kurt to bits,' Carole beamed. 'It's been hard the last few years seeing him revert into his shell. At first I was really worried that taking on a foster child may have been the cause of it.'

'A lot of kids can develop differently if a new person is introduced to the household, whether it be a new parent figure or a child. Attention is often centred on the new arrival for a while.'

'Yeah when we first took on Kip, he was a young teenager and quite troubled so Burt and I spent a lot of time with him, but we always included Kurt of course. But by then Kurt was about to graduate and hanging out with your parents isn't exactly cool at that age.'

I laughed. 'Yeah that's true. How come you ended up keeping Kip?'

'Well, he was originally supposed to be with us whilst his Mom fought the courts for custody. But the trial kept being postponed and it dragged on for a few months. Eventually she was arrested before the case was heard for supplying drugs and sent to prison for five years. By then Kip was settled and making excellent progress so after some persuading the courts agreed to let us adopt him.'

'That's amazing,' I smiled. 'It doesn't bear thinking about what his life would have been like if his Mom had got him back and hadn't been caught.'

'I know. Kip has heard from the adoption agency a couple of times because his Mom has tried to make contact, but he's not interested.'

'He's probably just not ready,' I said. 'There's probably a lot of deep rooted anger in him to let go.'

'Maybe he should come and see you at work,' Carole joked and I laughed.

'He'd be more than welcome. Um, I was thinking of making Kurt breakfast in bed as a birthday treat, would that be ok?'

'Sure, help yourself to anything.'

Twenty minutes later I sent Kurt a text as he still hadn't appeared and there was no sign of life coming from upstairs yet. _Are you awake yet birthday boy? :) Bx_

I got a response five minutes later. _I'm up! Where are you? K x__I'll be there in 4 minutes. Hope you're hungry :) Bx_

A few seconds after I hit send I heard running footsteps overhead and laughed. I put the finishing touches to breakfast and then went back upstairs to Kurt's room. He was sitting crossed legged on the bed. He'd put pants and a t-shirt on and brushed his hair.

'Morning,' he said cheerfully.

'Happy Birthday.'

'Thank you,' Kurt beamed, bouncing up and down a little as I put the tray down on the bed and sat beside him. There was coffee, juice, croissants and fresh fruit. 'Blaine this looks great.'

'It's just breakfast,' I laughed and Kurt pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and sighed into the embrace. When we broke away I was met with tears shining in Kurt's eyes. I took one of his hands.

'Hey, what's up? You're not allowed to cry on your birthday.'

'It's just... I've never felt so happy and... well a year ago I would never have believed I'd be spending my twenty fifth with the most gorgeous man on the planet beside me.'

'The whole planet huh?' I teased and Kurt laughed. We spent the next half hour slowly making our way through the breakfast I made, and then I put the tray on the floor and turned to Kurt with a frown.

'I think it's time for a birthday kiss,' I said seriously.

'Oh really?' Kurt smiled. 'Well if it's what the doctor orders?'

'It most definitely is.'

I grinned like an idiot and then my lips found Kurt's. His arms wrapped around my neck and he pulled me closer as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth and I moaned quietly. All too soon Kurt was pushing me off and holding his hands out eagerly.

'Where's my present?'

'How old are you again?' I laughed as I reached under Kurt's bed and pulled out three parcels, putting them down in front of him. He picked up the first one with an excited glint in his eye. It was so adorable to watch. It was small and it didn't take long for him to rip it open and find a fridge magnet of Big Ben.

'It's so cute thank you,' Kurt said sincerely but there was a flicker of bewilderment in his eyes.

'You're welcome,' I replied, trying not to give away the growing suspense behind my own eyes. This was fun. Kurt picked up the second one, which was larger and box shaped. He opened it to find a mug with the London Eye printed on it.

'There's a theme going on here,' Kurt giggled and he picked up the third parcel which was flat and oblong shaped. Here we go. He opened it to find an envelope. He glanced at me and then tore it open, pulling out the contents: two return plane tickets to London Heathrow. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open slightly. He looked up and caught my eye, then looked down again.

'We're... we're going to London,' Kurt whispered.

'Yes,' I replied. I was waiting for the shock to wear off and the frenzy to begin. Kurt looked at me again, then at the tickets again, blinking rapidly. Then it hit.

'Oh my... Oh my god _Blaine_, oh my…'

Kurt threw himself at me and we fell backwards, somehow in the chaos Kurt's mouth found mine and we were kissing urgently, our teeth banging against one another on a number of occasions as we both tried to take control. I was pretty sure Kurt murmured, _I love you_ at some point, but I couldn't be certain, I was too lost in the passion. Eventually we broke away, both of us breathing heavily and we sat back up.

'You like your present then?' I asked.

'Blaine, this is too much, you shouldn't have,' Kurt said as he studied the tickets again.

'Kurt, it was worth it just to see that reaction.'

Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, looking conflicted. 'But I can't accept this, it wouldn't be right to-'

'You will accept it and I won't take no for an answer.'

'But-'

'Hey, no buts. You know I don't like talking about money but believe me; I can more than afford it. I've always wanted to go to London; I just never had someone to go with.'

'Well you have to at least let me help out with the hotel costs and-'

'Nope. This is your present Kurt and the hotel is already booked and paid for silly.'

'But-'

'What did I say?' I interrupted, putting a finger to Kurt's mouth.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

Blaine and I went and had lunch at the mall, talking non-stop about what we planned to do in London. Then he drove us back to my house, in a couple of hours we were going out to dinner with Dad and Carole so we just planned to chill for the rest of the afternoon. However, when we walked through the front door there was a flurry of activity and noise. I could see David, Wes, Nick, Jeff, and others, wearing their Dalton uniforms. What the hell was going on? I turned to Blaine to find he'd completely disappeared. Nick stepped up to me with a knowing smile.

'Happy Birthday Kirk.'

'Thanks Nick, um... what's going on?'

'Blaine asked us to join you for you birthday dinner.'

'Really? That's great,' I replied, although I was still confused. 'But why are you all wearing your old school uniform?'

'You'll see,' he laughed, ushering me into the living room. I sat on the sofa, Dad and Carole joining me with big smiles. They were obviously in on whatever was happening. Then Blaine reappeared into the room wearing his Dalton uniform. Oh god, once again he looked _so_ hot. He was followed by his Warbler friends and they gathered together in front of us. Blaine fixed his eyes on me and winked. My heart melted and I felt my throat tighten as Blaine opened his mouth to sing.

'_You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs…_'

It was impossible for this day to get any better. It was pure heaven.

* * *

><p>I yawned as I watched Blaine take his cardigan, shoes and socks off. He was about to leave his bedroom when I stopped him. 'Blaine?'<p>

'Yeah?'

'The first time I stayed over you told me you er... well, that you usually slept naked.'

'Yeah, I did. What about it?'

'I really appreciate you covering up because of me, but I think it's time to... what I'm basically trying to say is, I want you to be how you would normally.'

'I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.'

'You won't,' I assured him as he walked up to me where I was sitting on the bed.

'Are you sure?' Blaine asked, running his fingers through my hair. I put my hands on his waist and looked up at him.

'Yeah I'm sure.'

'Ok then,' Blaine smiled and he planted a kiss on my forehead. 'Have you enjoyed your birthday?'

'It was fantastic,' I smiled. 'Watching my Dad do karaoke with Jeff and David will live with me forever.'

'That was hilarious, your Dad's face was priceless.'

'Thank you for making me for so special.'

'You're welcome. I'll be back in a minute.'

Blaine left the room and it was the first time today that I had a few moments to myself to reflect on everything that had happened. It had been the best birthday ever and on top of that, Blaine was taking me to London in a weeks time. I couldn't wait, I was so excited I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep until I got on that plane. I was certain that any minute now someone was going to pinch me and I'd wake up to find the past few months had been a horrible teasing dream. Ten minutes later Blaine walked back into the bedroom, stark bollock naked.

Oh.

My.

God.

I was staring, ogling, leering, whatever word you want to use. _Kurt, stop looking at Blaine's manhood_. I can't.

Was that...? Oh my god it was. Fuck, I was getting hard from looking at Blaine's cock. Jesus, how was I supposed to go to the bathroom and do my nightly routine? I'd already taken my pants off and my shirt was too short to cover... _it_. Blaine was tapping away at his blackberry, standing at the end of the bed. He suddenly looked over at me.

'What's up?' he asked.

'Nothing,' I shrugged.

'I've finished with the bathroom,' Blaine smiled.

'Ok.'

'Aren't you going to-'

'Yeah I am, I just um...'

'Kurt, what's wrong? Why don't you just go to the bathroom?'

'I will in a minute.'

'You're blushing.'

'No I'm not,' I argued, feeling my cheeks get even hotter than they already were.

'Yes you are.'

'Look, could you just turn away?'

'Why?'

Then the realisation dawned on him and his face broke out into a smirk. Shit. Blaine threw his phone down and then came to sit beside me on the bed. I rolled my eyes. 'Do you have to sit right next to me with your… bits showing?'

'Bits? I'm all for pet names Kurt, but that one just _sucks_.'

'Blaaaine,' I whined, closing my eyes for a moment as Blaine laughed. When I opened them again I still couldn't help taking a look down there. Oh god I wanted to touch it so badly.

'Well, it's good to know I've still got it,' Blaine winked and then he leaned towards me, kissing me on the lips.

'That's not helping,' I groaned.

'What this?' Blaine asked innocently, kissing me again. Then he ran his tongue along my bottom lip and...

'Mnnffgod,' I moaned, grabbing Blaine's face in my hands and deepening the kiss. Without our mouths parting Blaine managed to stand up off the bed, torturing me with the sight of his… you know… just dangling there in front of me, and yeah I know you're supposed to have your eyes closed during kissing, but Blaine had his fucking cock out. I moved my hands from Blaine's face and suddenly didn't know where to put them. I mean, Blaine was naked. Where was I supposed to-

'Something wrong?' Blaine asked, his lips still lightly on mine. I shook my head and Blaine took my hands in his, placing them on his very naked hips. Oh yeah that felt nice. 'You can touch me you know.'

'I love you,' I said. 'I can never thank you enough for today. It's been more than perfect.'

'I love you too.' Blaine was looking at me intently now, chewing on his bottom lip. He did that whenever he was thinking deeply about something. He seemed to be trying to make a decision.

'Blaine?'

'Kurt, how about another birthday present?' Blaine whispered, his eyes boring into mine.

'What do you mean? You've already given me way too much Blaine.'

'I mean... I can take care of... _that_ for you,' Blaine said, his gaze dropping to where the duvet was currently obscuring my erection from view.

'Um...'

Blaine wanted to... to... _oh_.

'Do you trust me?' he asked softly. I swallowed thickly before nodding. 'So is that a yes or...'

Oh god.

I closed the gap between us and kissed him, soft and slow, trying to convey my love for him physically. I would never get over how good it felt to kiss Blaine, the slightest touch of his lips brought my whole body to life in a way I'd never dreamed of.

I could feel Blaine smiling into the kiss and I lifted a hand up to his neck. I tangled my fingers in his hair despite the gel and felt Blaine's body shiver. Pulling back a little, I rested my forehead against his, so many emotions flowing through me right at this moment. I took a deep breath; my heart feeling like it might explode at any second. But I'd made my decision, my mind was made up the second Blaine asked me.

'I think I'd like that,' I said quietly. Blaine leaned back and beamed at me. He curled a few stray hairs behind my ears and considered me for a moment.

'If you have any doubts, any at all, we really don't have to-'

'I know but, I'm positive.'

'Ok, but stop me any time you want.'

'I will,' I replied.

'Lie back.'

I did as Blaine asked. I lied back against the pillow with a racing heart as I drank in the look of pure lust in his eyes. I didn't think he could look any sexier, but I was completely wrong. He moved the duvet off me exposing my visible hard on in my underpants. My hands itched to fly to my groin area and hide it, and they almost did but I forced myself to hold back. I felt a bit silly and embarrassed, but most of all I felt wanted, needed and loved. It was an amazing feeling.

'Hey relax,' Blaine said to me as he got onto the bed. I took a deep breath and relaxed my body, not aware of how tense I'd become.

Blaine straddled me and my brain went into overdrive. A naked Blaine was sitting on me. The feel of his bum cheeks against my legs was making it very difficult to keep in control, and then there was the fact that Blaine's cock was resting against my underpants right in front of me. Oh my god, we were really doing this.

Blaine noticed my breathing had escalated and he mouthed the words, Are you ok? to me. I nodded. He began undoing the buttons on my shirt. When he pulled it open I felt the cool air hit my hot skin. Blaine leaned down to trail kisses down my neck and I moved my head back, giving him better access because fuck, it felt _so_ good.

'You're beautiful,' Blaine whispered into my ear and my whole body shook in response. Then we were kissing, it was heated and passionate, our hands gripping one another's hair, almost painfully. A few minutes must have passed before Blaine sat back up and I saw that he was hard now too. My cocked pulsed in response and I was expecting to freak out, even a little, but I was mesmerised. Just wow.

Blaine moved backwards to sit in between my legs. He ran his hands up my thighs, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps. My skin was tingling in anticipation and the heat was rushing to my groin and making me, if possible, even harder.

'Can I?' Blaine asked quietly, his fingers resting at the top of my underpants. I nodded my consent. I gasped quietly as Blaine's hand covered my hard on through the fabric with his hand and he squeezed gently. 'Mmggn.'

Blaine pulled down my underpants, throwing them over his shoulder. He stared at my cock for a few seconds whilst I held my breath, and then he looked at me. He gave me the most gorgeous loved filled smile. I smiled in response and a silent understanding was going on between us. The first brush of Blaine's fingers against my naked erection startled me. Not in a bad way but Blaine instantly retracted his hand. 'Do you want me to stop?'

'No,' I whispered. I needed this, I needed Blaine so badly.

Blaine's fingers caressed my balls, stroking delicately over them until I was a complete whimpering mess. He wrapped a hand around my throbbing cock, fondling it with infuriating slowness. He licked a wet trail up one my thighs with the tip of his tongue and nuzzled his hair into my groin.

'Oh god,' I groaned out loud, lifting my hips off the bed. 'Do that again.'


	19. Chapter 19

_~KURT'S POV~_

Blaine chuckled and repeated the motion. My body snapped upwards once again. His hair was tickling my balls and sending pulses of pure bliss right the way up my spine and down my chest. I was already panting and my toes curled up as Blaine started to stroke, building up a steady rhythm. I gave an impatient growl and instinctively thrust my body up in desperation. I needed more friction, more touch, more sensation, more Blaine.

'Easy,' Blaine said gently, stroking a hand over my stomach.

'Please... please,' I murmured, collapsing back. Our eyes met for a moment and Blaine gave me a cute cheeky grin and a wink. He sped up his movements, gripping a little tighter. The pressure was pushing its way up and out of my body and all too quickly Blaine stopped. I was about to protest but then I watched in utter amazement as Blaine's tongue came out of his mouth and he used the tip to play and tease with my wet head. Oh Jesus... Fuuuuuck...

Blaine's mouth descended onto my cock, taking me whole. I closed my eyes and let out a fervent cry as I bunched Blaine's bed sheets up with my hands. He began to slide up and down as I whimpered quietly. The feeling was incredible, the suction, the tongue, the way I slipped so effortlessly down Blaine's throat. Just everything overwhelming my senses.

I looked down to see Blaine's cheeks hollow out as he worked my cock, sucking, tasting, and licking. It was so surreal to see this wonderful man pleasuring me like this. Doing something that felt so natural, normal, perfect and amazing. It was the most erotic sight I'd ever seen.

I concentrated all my energy on the wet mouth sucking me, nothing else mattered right now. The feel of Blaine's mouth was driving me insane as he increased the speed and pressure. He cupped my balls, rolling them gently with his fingers. I let out a loud groan and jerked upwards again slipping further down Blaine's throat. I could feel the tight tunnel graze my entire length. Blaine did a great job of covering his teeth with his lips, not once catching my skin.

He laid a hand flat on my chest and the heat soaked through my skin. My heart was thumping wildly. I was almost there; I could feel the burn in my belly and the ache deep in my balls. I laid my head right back and let my mouth fall open as I breathed erratically 'Blaine… I'm… I'm gonna… you better move if you don't... want to... mmnng…'

But Blaine didn't move away, he kept going. Great red spots were spinning across my closed eyelids and my whole body was vibrating. I felt like I was coming apart, waves of pure pleasure were shooting up through my balls and through my cock, pulsating.

Finally my orgasm hit with such intensity that I swear I nearly blacked out. I poured myself down Blaine's throat and shook as the aftershocks slowly subsided, Blaine still sucking me, slowly now and with less pressure.

I opened my eyes to look at Blaine. He let my cock fall out of his mouth and I stared at him, panting heavily and knowing I must look like a thoroughly dishevelled mess. We gazed at each other for a few seconds, just smiling. We didn't need words to know how much this moment meant to us both. It could have been a disaster, one tiny doubt and I could have freaked out, setting out relationship back even further. But Blaine had been so trusting, careful, patient, gentle, loving, so him. I let myself into a vulnerable position, but I hadn't once felt vulnerable, just part of something completely amazing.

'You um… you swallowed,' I whispered in a tired voice. I don't know why it mattered to me but it did, a warm fuzzy feeling was coursing through my body.

'Yeah,' Blaine grinned, stroking one of my thighs slowly. I felt my eyes stinging and blinked back the tears. Oh god, don't cry, don't cry now.

'Wow... Blaine that was… that was incredible.'

'Happy birthday baby,' Blaine smiled.

'Best. Birthday. Ever.'

'You've no idea what it means to hear you say that,' Blaine replied and he laid his cheek on my lower abdomen with a contented sigh, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

'Thank you,' I said quietly, with a lump in my throat. I began playing with Blaine's hair with my fingers.

'Kurt?' Blaine murmured sleepily.

'Yeah?'

'Thank you too.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

My last client on Tuesday afternoon never turned up so with an hour free to myself I sat at my desk and checked my phone. There was a text from Kurt waiting for me and I was smiling before I even read it. _5 days. WOOOOO K x__  
><em>  
>There was only five days to go before Kurt and I went to London. I was looking forward to it so much but I was still a little distracted. My mind was reeling from what happened on Saturday night. Despite the oral sex being completely spontaneous and unplanned, it had been the most intense experience of my life.<p>

I was so happy and I was incredibly proud of the progress Kurt had made. A few months ago the thought of another guy touching or kissing him totally freaked him out. But the way he'd let me in and had shared something so intimate with me was mind blowing. Neither of us could sleep that night so we laid in the dark talking to each other all curled up. Sitting back in my chair I scrolled through the contacts on my phone and called home. Not my home, the Anderson family home.

'Hello?'

'Hey Mom it's me, what time do you want Kurt and I to arrive tomorrow?'

'Oh hello darling. Well dinner will be at eight so any time before that. We're so looking forward to meeting this Kurt of yours.'

'He can't wait to meet you too.'

'And things are definitely over between you and Mark?'

I rolled my eyes even though I couldn't be seen. 'Yes Mom. We split up months ago now.'

'Well good, because your father and I didn't really like him to be honest.'

I laughed. 'Why didn't you say anything?'

'Well it wasn't our place, and we didn't want to upset you.'

'Actually, a few people have said that to me. So what didn't you like about him then?'

'He just wasn't for you. He was too... full of himself. I can't recall a time when he actually asked us how we were. It was all about him.'

It's funny how this was making my day and proving just how awesome my parents were. But if Mom had said all this whilst Mark and I were together it would be a totally different story and would end in an argument.'

'He was never right for me,' I agreed. 'But Mom, Kurt is really special. Please like him, you have to.'

'I'm sure we will if he's the reason our son is so happy.'

'He is.'

'And are you bringing Joey along with you tomorrow?' Mom asked and I laughed.

'Yes of course, he loves your house, much more space to run around.'

'Oh good, and does he like Kurt?'

'Joey adores him. I'm the one who gave him a home yet he likes everyone else more than me.'

'Poor Blaine,' Mom laughed. 'So tell me, what are Kurt's parents like?'

'His Dad and step Mom are really lovely. His Dad was a little protective and wary of me at first but he can see how happy Kurt is.'

'Well that's good, and they don't have any problems with Kurt being gay?'

'No not at all. They've always been completely supportive of him.'

By the time I'd hung up ten minutes later, promising my mother six times that we wouldn't be late for dinner, there was another text from Kurt. _In 5 days time we will be on a PLANE flying over the Atlantic. Woo Hoo K x_

_Your excitement is adorable or have you been drinking too much coffee today? :) Bx_

_Ha ha! Speaking of coffee, is there a Starbucks near our hotel? K x_

_I'm sure there will be :) Have you packed yet? Bx_

_Of course! I spent Sunday evening picking out my wardrobe and ironing K x_

_Is it weird that makes me love you even more? Bx_

_Yes :P Shouldn't you be working? K x_

_My last client didn't turn up. Are you at home? Bx_

_Yep. Looking up stuff to do in London K x_

_You're so cute! I'm about to drive so I'll call you in a bit. Bx__  
><em>

* * *

><p>When I reached the front door of my parents house and was about to ring the bell, I realised Kurt wasn't beside me. I looked around and saw that he was still standing by the car, stroking Joey in his arms and looking up at the house in alarm. I really felt for him, after all meeting parents was a pretty big deal. I walked back over to him slowly. He gave me an apprehensive look. 'Kurt?'<p>

'What if they don't like me?' he whispered and I couldn't help but laugh as the idea was just completely absurd.

'They'll love you,' I told him.

'You don't know that.'

'Yes I do.'

'You don't, you're just trying to make me feel better.'

'I'm not. Kurt, I know you're nervous, but trust me, once you're in there you'll feel a lot better and my parents are lovely. There's no way they wouldn't like you. You're amazing and they'll see that straight away.'

'What if I freak out or something? What if-'

'Hey, you're not gonna freak out. Everything will be fine and I'll be by your side the whole time to look after you ok?'

'You promise?'

'I promise.'

Kurt nodded. 'Ok then.'

Kurt put Joey on the ground. He took my hand and held onto it tightly as I led him to the house and rang on the bell. I had a key of course but this way seemed more polite. As soon as the door opened and my Mom appeared, Joey ran straight in and out of sight. 'Come in boys.'

'Thanks,' Kurt said and we walked into the house. My Mom closed the door behind us and then my Dad walked out from the kitchen with Joey jumping around his feet.

'Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Kurt,' I told them proudly.

'It's so nice to meet you both,' Kurt smiled and he shook both their hands.

'You too Kurt,' Dad replied. 'Blaine hasn't shut up about you.'

'Yeah thanks Dad,' I blushed.

'It's true,' Mom said to Kurt. 'Not that we're complaining, seeing Blaine so happy makes us happy.'

'Could you two stop embarrassing me now?' I begged.

'He loves it really,' my Mom said to Kurt and they both laughed.

'Is dinner ready yet?' I asked, changing the subject.

'It'll be another fifteen minutes,' Mom replied. 'But let's go and sit at the dining table.'

We walked into the dining room and sat down. Dad poured out some wine for us all and Joey settled himself on an empty chair, all curled up. We all knew he'd be fully awake once the food arrived.

'You have a beautiful home,' Kurt said to my parents and my Mom beamed at him.

'Oh thank you so much. Cooper and Blaine both grew up here and they still have a room each to stay in.'

'Blaine tells us you're a teacher,' Dad said to Kurt.

'Yeah that's right; I've been doing the job a few weeks now. I was a teaching assistant beforehand.'

'It must be quite stressful.'

'I really love it. The kids do give me a bit of a headache sometimes, but it's a very rewarding job.'

The small talk continued for a while until a timer could be heard going off in the kitchen. Mom shot up and disappeared. My Dad leaned over the table slightly and whispered, 'Heads up, your mother has dug the baby albums out.'

'Oh god,' I groaned as my Dad and Kurt laughed. 'My hair was completely wild, please don't judge me Kurt.'

'When he was little Blaine wouldn't let us anywhere near his curls...' my Dad was saying to Kurt. 'It should have been a sign then, because he was obsessed with brushing his hair.'

'Yeah thanks Dad.'

'But now he hides them with all that gel muck. I don't know why he does it.'

'I've tried to get him to ditch the gel,' Kurt replied to him with a sigh. 'I think it looks lovely.'

'So do I and his mother.'

'I'm still working on it, but Blaine seems to think he needs to look "professional" at all times and the solution to that is the cementing it down.'

'Well personally I think his natural hair would make him even more personable to his clients.'

'I agree, I mean of course shoulder length wild curly hair wouldn't exactly look good, but as long as he kept it short and-

'I am here;' I interrupted them. They both looked at me guiltily and mumbled sorry.

'I'll go and help your mother,' Dad said to me and then he winked at Kurt. He got up and left the room. I turned to Kurt.

'How are you feeling?' I asked quietly and Kurt smiled at me.

'Really great, I don't know why I was so worried.'

'Yeah you seem to be having a great time analysing my hair with my Dad.'

'Sorry,' Kurt giggled, not sorry at all.

'You do realise they'll probably nag us to come to dinner more often?'

'Well you come to the Hummel's for Friday night dinner now, so I don't see why we shouldn't come here sometimes.'

'You'd be ok with that?' I asked.

'Yeah. Your parents seem great.' It wasn't long before Mom and Dad came back into the dining room, carrying two plates each. 'This looks amazing,' Kurt said as his dinner was put down in front of him.

'Thank you Kurt,' Mom beamed. 'It's a dish my grandmother taught me when I was a teenager.'

'You were never a teenager,' I quipped and we all laughed.

'You do know that Blaine isn't exactly a whizz in the kitchen?' Mom asked Kurt.

'Hey, don't drive him away,' I told her but Kurt just smirked at me.

'Well luckily for Blaine, I'm a pretty good cook. When my Dad had a heart attack I devised a new diet plan for him so I have hundreds of recipes up my sleeves.'

'We should swap notes some time,' my Mom suggested.

'Sure, I'd love to,' Kurt replied.

'Is your Dad ok health wise?' Dad asked Kurt.

'Oh yes, he's fine now. It was a wakeup call at the time that he was working too much and eating the wrong foods. He would pick up take out all the time and never really cook a meal from scratch because he didn't have the time.'

'But now he's got Carole,' I said and Kurt nodded.

'She's in charge of the kitchen, there's no way my Dad would get anything unhealthy in the fridge or cupboard.'

'Sounds like my kind of woman,' Mom smiled.

Almost three hours later, feeling full and tired, I pulled up outside Kurt's house. I cut the engine, took my seat belt off and turned to face him. 'You were amazing tonight.'

'Really?' Kurt smiled.

I leaned forwards and claimed his lips. Kurt's hands grabbed my face pulling me closer. Then Kurt suddenly shot back with a gasp. 'What is it?' I asked urgently.

'Should we really be doing this in front of Joey?'

'He's asleep,' I laughed, looking at Joey on the back seat.

'I know but... anyway... I had a great night and the baby photos? You were the cutest thing I've ever seen.'

'Thanks,' I laughed. 'I bet you were an adorable baby.'

'Of course I was. I'm sure if you ask my Dad he'll guide you through the dozens of albums he's got.'

'I might just do that,' I said, feeling excited.

'Blaine can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'Um... you know last Saturday night?' Kurt asked slowly, blushing a little.

'Yeah,' I answered nervously. Oh shit, Kurt wasn't regretting it was he?

'Well... I've been thinking about after...'

'Yes?'

'Well you excused yourself to the bathroom before we went to sleep… well tried to sleep, and... I've been wondering if you were... you know, relieving yourself?'

'Oh,' I blushed. 'Er... yeah I was. Sorry.'

'No don't be,' Kurt said quickly. 'It's just I've been thinking, next time, how about you don't go off to the bathroom to... you know?'

'You mean you want to... to watch?' I gulped as Kurt took one of my hands in his.

'Yeah,' Kurt smiled.

'Well... I guess that would be ok,' I tried to say casually but heat was already rushing to my groin at the thought of it. It was more than ok, holy fuck.

'Good,' Kurt giggled.

'Four days,' I said after a few seconds of silence, stroking Kurt's hand with my thumb.

'Four days,' he repeated excitedly.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

This time tomorrow I was going to be in London. How mad was that? I still couldn't quite believe it and still had to pinch myself to prove it wasn't all just a horrible cruel dream. It was astonishing to think how much my life has changed this year. I owed so much to Blaine and was determined to never take him for granted.

'This room could really do with a nice lamp,' I mused out loud.

'Oh is that so?' Blaine replied. 'Is this your subtle way of telling me that you're moving in and redecorating the place?'

'Maybe,' I giggled. 'Not that I'm criticising your interior choices.'

'Yeah of course you're not,' Blaine winked and then turned his attentions back to what he was doing, saying quietly, 'Well remind me to get you some keys cut.'

I stared at Blaine. He wasn't looking in my direction so I had free reign to ogle. I know we had just been teasing each other but I wondered if it was something Blaine had ever thought about, us living together. Of course I had thought about it, imagined what it would be like to wake up every morning with Blaine beside me... coming home from work and waiting for Blaine with a nice dinner and a bottle of wine... it was a very appealing prospect... although maybe I was jumping the gun a bit. It's possible Blaine would think it was an awful idea but there's no way I'd have the courage to ask him outright.

I was sitting on Blaine's sofa; Joey curled up next to me and a mug of hot chocolate in my hands. Blaine was sitting cross legged on the floor, files and notes scattered around him and his laptop open directly in front of him. He was e-mailing a hand over for his boss at work in case any emergencies arise with his clients whilst we're in London.

'Do you need any help?' I asked and Blaine turned to me with an amused smile.

'Are you genuinely asking or are you just being polite?'

'Um... the first one?' I offered and Blaine laughed.

'Well thank you for the offer but I don't think I have anything you could help with. Anyway, you are helping in your own way.'

'I am? How?'

'By being here with me,' Blaine replied.

'Aww.'

Blaine abandoned what he was doing and crawled over, kneeling in front of me and taking my hot chocolate out of my hands. 'Hey,' I protested as he dumped it on the coffee table. But he just giggled and then he kissed me, hard. His hands were on either side of my neck and I melted into him. Ok, so this was definitely better than hot chocolate. He trailed his tongue along my bottom lip and I couldn't help moaning my appreciation.

'I thought... we agreed... not in front... of the dog,' I said between kisses. Blaine pulled back and smiled at me.

'Joey's happy that his Daddy's happy.'

'You don't know that.'

'I do, he told me so. He said kiss Kurt all you want because he doesn't mind.'

'Did he now?' I asked and then Blaine's mouth was back on mine.

'Uh huh,' he murmured against my lips. 'Now less talking... more...'

I was aware at some point of Joey jumping down from the sofa, probably in confusion at what we were doing, or complete disgust, who knew. I smiled into the kiss and felt Blaine do the same. Eventually we parted and I felt all warm and tingly inside.

'We've scarred Joey for life,' I said and we both laughed.

'We'll make it up to him and bring back a present from London.'

'Yeah that'll be nice. Maybe a nice blanket with London landmarks on it.'

'You're so adorable.'

'I know,' I smiled.

'You know, in just under ten hours we'll be at the airport getting on a plane,' Blaine said and I could feel the knots of excitement in my stomach. In a few hours we would be flying through the air, thousands of feet up above the clouds.

'Blaine?'

'Yeah?'

'I've... I've never been on a plane before.'

'Oh,' Blaine's face fell. 'Oh my god I'm sorry, I didn't realise, it just didn't occur to me.'

'Huh? What are you talking about?'

'Have you always been scared of flying?'

I laughed and Blaine frowned at me. 'I'm not scared of flying,' I told him. 'Well I don't think I am. I've just never been anywhere.'

'Oh right,' he smiled in relief.

'Sorry, I should have been a bit clearer.'

'Well stick with me and you'll be sick of aeroplanes and airports in no time.'

'Is that a promise?'

'It's a promise.'

Blaine ruffled my hair and then went back to his work. I picked up my hot chocolate and continued to drink it, saying 'Mmm,' with every sip. A couple of times I saw Blaine sneak a cheeky look at me, his cheeks a little flushed. It was so cute. I put my finished drink down and then I yawned.

'Why don't you go to bed?' Blaine suggested. 'I'm nearly finished here anyway.'

'Ok,' I said.

I stood up from the sofa and went over to Blaine, leaning down to plant a kiss in his hair, which was all cute and curly. Then I went into our... I mean _Blaine's_ bedroom. I sat on the bed next to Blaine's suitcase, which was still lying open.

I couldn't help smiling when thinking back to what had happened in this room last Saturday. It was hard to believe it was real but the image was printed into my mind. Just remembering the look on Blaine's face as he sucked me to my climax made my pants incredibly tight. It had been so incredible.

I loved that it hadn't just been about sexual pleasure; it meant something important to both of us for different reasons. There was so much love behind it. Blaine wanted to make me feel good. I did wonder if Blaine was going to bring up the topic of me returning the favour. I wanted to, I really did, but I just wasn't comfortable with the thought of doing that... not yet anyway. It wasn't because of Blaine; it was just a generalised 'fear' I had. One I was determined to conquer.

But everything was going in the right direction. I had high hopes that one day Blaine and I would experience everything we could together. I stood up; about to go the bathroom for my pre bed routine when something caught my eye in Blaine's suitcase. It was a box of condoms.

I picked it up, turning it over in my hands. It was brand new, still sealed. I suddenly heard running footsteps and Blaine came flying into the room. Our eyes met and then Blaine's gaze shifted to the box in my hands. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair nervously.


	20. Chapter 20

_~KURT'S POV~_

'Kurt, I'm so sorry. It's-'

'Blaine-'

'-not what you think. It wasn't that I was expecting us to... to use them or anything, I-'

'Blaine-'

'-was just... I don't know, trying to be responsible I guess and-'

'Blaine-'

'-I should have told you about it... I'm sorry.'

'I know,' I smiled. 'Blaine, it's ok, really.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. A few weeks ago it may have freaked me out... but you don't need to walk on eggshells around me. I know how you think and it's never without consideration for me... and for us.'

'I love that you get me.'

'Right back at ya.'

'Do you know what I'm thinking right now?' Blaine smirked and I chuckled.

'Hmm, that you'd quite like to kiss your boyfriend?'

'You know me too well,' Blaine smiled. 'But then again, I know you and you're just after a bit of Blaine loving.'

'Well if that's what the doctor insists on, who am I to argue?' I replied and we both burst out laughing.

'Hey come here, I want to ask you something,' Blaine said once we'd recovered.

I put the box of condoms down and walked over to Blaine. He took my hands in his. 'Ask away.'

'First of all, I'm not in any way suggesting we take... that step any time soon... but if and when we do I wondered what you thought about... about the possibility of you being the one to top?'

'Me?' I whispered and Blaine nodded, smiling sweetly at me.

'Um, we talked about this in my therapy,' I said quietly, looking down at our hands. 'You know, if the idea of me... topping... is more... well... feasible I guess...'

'And what did you say?' Blaine asked as I trailed off, deep in thought. I looked up to meet his eyes, knowing that I was blushing bright red.

'I said yes.'

'Right, um... great, because I would be more than happy for us to do that.'

'Are you sure? I thought you preferred to top?'

'I know I said that, but... it's just...'

'What is it?'

I just... shit I don't want this to come out all wrong.'

'Go on, you can say anything to me,' I pushed. Blaine squeezed my hands and nodded.

'Ok... I was never in love with Mark, or anyone else, until I met you. Sex it's... it's different whoever you're with and... I do wonder how different it will be, having someone I'm head over heels for make love to me... rather than someone I don't have those feeling for. Does that even make any sense?'

Fuck, could he get any more adorable? 'That makes perfect sense Blaine. Jesus, how did I get so lucky?'

'You're not the only one who feels lucky,' he replied, a tad of emotion in his voice. I had to swallow a lump in my throat.

'Blaine, what was your first time like?' I asked quietly.

'Oh... well I was seventeen, and we were both virgins so it was all a bit... awkward. But... it was ok. It wasn't a one night stand or a stranger and I think that really makes a difference.'

'I've been thinking about last Saturday and um... you know... the possibility of me returning the-'

'Kurt no, I really don't expect you to. God, please don't feel pressured in any way.'

Blaine looked a bit scared as though I might have actually formed that exact opinion of him. It was amazing how thoughtful he was. I smiled at him. 'I know. And actually... I'm really not that comfortable with the idea right now. Sorry, I just-'

'Don't be sorry,' Blaine told me, shaking his head and then without warning his lips were on mine and his hands were on my hips, pulling me towards him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed my tongue into his mouth. Blaine moaned into the kiss sending shivers up my spine.

When our lips parted a couple of minutes later we just stared into each other's eyes for a moment. 'I love kissing you,' I whispered and Blaine smiled.

'Me too,' he replied. 'You taste like hot chocolate; I wish I'd had some now.'

'I think the large pizza you had all to yourself earlier was more than enough calories for one day.'

'Oi, what are you suggesting?' Blaine gasped.

'Nothing,' I giggled.

'I'm a growing boy.'

'Yeah outwards,' I replied and Blaine lightly hit me on the arm.

'Hey, you'd still love me if I got chubby right?'

'Hmm,' I teased as Blaine narrowed his eyes at me. 'Of course I would.'

'Good. Now how about we both get ready now and snuggle up in bed? We've got a big day tomorrow.'

'Ok,' I said quietly, excitement bubbling up inside me.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'You can have the window seat,' I said to Kurt as we reached our row number on the plane. I put our hand luggage in one of the overhead lockers and then noticed Kurt was still standing in the aisle looking at me. 'Are you gonna sit down?'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'You take the window seat,' Kurt replied, gesturing to the seat with his hand.

'No I want you to have it.'

'Blaine, I insist.'

'This is your first flying experience, I insist.'

'But you paid for all this Blaine; seriously you take the window seat.'

'No you take it.'

'I don't even want to sit by the window.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Everybody wants to sit by the window.'

'Well not me,' Kurt shrugged, not sounding convincing at all.

'Are we really arguing over a seat?' I laughed and Kurt smirked at me playfully.

'How are we going to resolve this?' Kurt asked me.

'You're going to sit by the window.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

'But-'

'If you don't I'll cry the whole way to London and embarrass the hell out of you. It's your choice.'

'Ok, ok,' Kurt laughed and he sat down. I settled beside him and Kurt offered his hand to me 'Hold my hand whilst we take off?'

'Of course,' I said.

'So how are we getting to the hotel?' Kurt asked as he leaned into me, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand. God, I was so fucking happy right now and we'd barely even started our trip.

'Well, we could get a taxi, or get the Heathrow Express train to Paddington station and then continue on public transport, or get the Underground.'

'Hmm, I guess we have a few hours to decide,' Kurt mused. 'I still can't believe I was charged for excess baggage though.'

'Well your suitcase did weigh a ton,' I laughed and Kurt shook his head slightly. 'You probably won't even wear half of what you brought.'

'I'll pretend I didn't hear that... you never know what weather you're gonna get so you need to be prepared.'

'True, but you've got enough clothes to last a whole month.'

'_Anyway_, while we're in London can we go and see Phantom of the Opera?'

'I thought we already planned to see it in New York at Christmas?'

'I know, but I was thinking... well it started in London so it seems more apt.'

'Ok, sure,' I agreed.

'I wonder what movies they'll be showing during the flight.'

'They should have it listed in one of their magazines,' I replied. As I reached into the pocket in front of me with my spare hand, the sound of a voice came over the speaker system.

'Good morning ladies and gentleman and welcome on board this flight to London Heathrow...'

* * *

><p>'You lads over for business or pleasure then?'<p>

We were sitting in the back of a black London taxi on the way to our home for the next few days, the Marriott Hotel on Park Lane in Central London. We hadn't slept at all on the plane so we were pretty tired by now and running mainly on back up energy.

'Um, definitely not business,' I said and Kurt squeezed my hand. I was surprised the taxi driver hadn't noticed we'd been holding hands since Heathrow. 'It's a vacation.'

'So the Marriott huh? You boys can't be short of a bob or two.'

'It's our first visit here,' I told him. 'So it's special.'

'You'll be doing all the sightseeing stuff then?'

'Yeah that's the plan. Have you got any suggestions?'

'The Eye's good, you know the big round wheel thing? And a lot of the museums are free if you're into that sort of stuff. Oh and you must...'

Half an hour later we walked into our hotel room, having listened to an in depth explanation of what to do and see during our trip by the taxi driver, rendering our guide book almost useless. We'd both been pretty giddy watching the streets of London from inside the taxi, eager to start exploring. But for now, we both collapsed on the huge bed, staring up at the ceiling. The first chance we'd had to properly relax since waking up this morning in Ohio.

'Blaine?'

'Yeah?'

'This bed feels amazing.'

'I know, I'm not sure I can get up.'

'Are you tired?'

'Very.'

'Good, I thought it was just me,' Kurt laughed.

'Well it's only eleven in the morning here now, how about we have a couple of hours sleep to shake off some of the jet leg?'

'That sounds like an excellent plan to me.'

I took my phone out of my pocket and set the alarm before putting it on the bedside table. Then we both turned over onto our sides, facing each other. Kurt looked happy, tired but happy. I was worried something may have freaked him out by now but he seemed so calm and content. Our hands connected, our eyes closed and we were fast asleep in seconds.

* * *

><p>Kurt and I stepped into the pod, smiling at each other like excited children. After our much needed sleep, we quickly unpacked our suitcases to avoid further creases in our clothes and then went down to the hotel restaurant to eat. Then we visited the famous Harrods department store before coming here, the London Eye. As our pod rose upwards and the sun started going down, the view became more and more stunning. London looked beautiful.<p>

'Wow, it's so pretty,' Kurt whispered beside me. 'Big Ben looks tiny from up here.' I turned to look at him. He was smiling and his eyes were mesmerised as he took in the view. My love for him just grew even deeper. I took his hand in mine and he looked at me, tilting his head to one side. 'You ok?' he asked.

'Fine. Just feeling a bit... emotional.'

'Aww. It's pretty romantic up here… I bet a lot of guys pop the question to their partners.'

'Hoping for a proposal?' I teased and Kurt went bright red.

'Oh god no, I was just thinking aloud.'

'So if you were to be proposed to, how would you like it to be?'

'Oh, um…' Kurt giggled shyly. '…I don't know really. Probably in a place that was special with nobody else around. What about you?'

'Your way sounds perfect to me.'

'Have you ever…?' Kurt began to ask quietly, and then he looked to the floor.

'Ever what?'

'You know… asked someone to marry you?'

'Not yet,' I replied and Kurt smiled.

A few hours later, after a walk along the River Thames and dinner in Leicester Square we decided, on a whim, to head to a gay club called Heaven which we'd seen on-line. It was our first night and we didn't want to waste it sleeping. When we walked into the club Kurt was over the moon that he was asked for ID.

'The drinking age here is eighteen,' Kurt said smugly. 'Which means he thought I looked younger.'

'That would make me pretty pervy,' I replied and Kurt laughed.

'Feeling old?' Kurt smirked.

'Right I'm leaving.'

'No no no,' Kurt said, grabbing my arm tightly, not that I had moved at all.

'So, what's your poison?' I asked him.

'Um, a cocktail?' Kurt asked uncertainly.

'You can have whatever you want,' I said to him, stroking my hand up his arm.

'Ok, well you get a table and I'll buy the drinks. Do you want a beer?'

'I'll have whatever you're having.'

'Are you sure?' Kurt smiled and I lightly hit him.

'Yes, now get going, I'm dying of thirst here.'

Kurt walked over to the bar and I sat at a table. The dance floor was downstairs so the bar wasn't too noisy that you couldn't at least hear yourself think. A couple of minutes passed and then I saw Kurt approaching with two glasses full of a blue liquid. He put them down on the table and took a seat.

'It's blue,' I said, turning the glass around in my hand.

'I know, cool huh?'

'But it's blue,' I repeated.

'You're so cute,' Kurt smiled and then without giving it a second thought he leaned forwards and kissed me on the lips. As he pulled back his eyes widened and then he looked around in a panic before shaking his head and looking back at me.

'Forgot where you were?' I asked. 'Rather than anyone here being disgusted by it, they're much more likely to be turned on.'

'Eww Blaine,' Kurt giggled.

'It's true though. If I didn't know you and I saw you kiss another guy I'd be incredibly envious.'

'Whatever,' Kurt blushed.

We both took a sip of the blue cocktail and then nodded at each other in appreciation, it tasted like candy. Ten minutes later our cocktails were almost finished. We'd been looking around at all the guys in the bar that were in two's, trying to work out if they were couples, and if so how long they'd been together.

'First date,' I said to Kurt, pointing to two guys standing at the bar.

'Definitely,' Kurt agreed. 'Aww look, they keep smiling at each other and looking down into their drinks. Do you think we looked like that on our first date?'

'Probably.'

'Hey Blaine, is my tongue blue?' Kurt asked and I burst out laughing as I looked at him. He was currently sticking his tongue out as far as he could and his eyes were crossed, trying to focus.

'Yes,' I confirmed. 'How about mine?'

'Yep,' Kurt laughed as I stuck my tongue out. 'Do you think they do a green cocktail?'

'I bet they do, didn't you read the cocktail list?'

'I got as far as the word blue and my mind was thoroughly blown.'

'Right, well I'll get this round and do my best to bring back something green.'

I did manage to come back to our table with a green coloured cocktail, much to Kurt's delight. Once we finished my bladder was ready to explode so I went to the bathroom. As I was walking back to Kurt someone tapped me on the shoulder. I stopped and turned around to see a guy smiling at me. 'Hi, I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?'

'Sorry, I have a boyfriend,' I told him with an apologetic face.

'Oh my god you're American,' he replied, startled.

'Um yeah I am.'

'Look, I'm not asking for your hand in marriage, a quick fuck or blow job is what I had in mind. Your relationship status means didilly squat to me.'

'Er... ok... um I'm flattered really, but-

'But the only dick he'll be sucking tonight is mine.'

I turned to see Kurt standing right behind me, his eyes boring into the stranger and a smirk playing at his lips. Ok, so now I was feeling really turned on. Possessive Kurt = Sexy Kurt. The stranger laughed.

'Hot,' he said, looking Kurt up and down. 'I wouldn't mind being in the audience for that show.'

'Sorry, all sold out,' Kurt quipped, grabbing my hand and leading me away. Once we were a safe distance he stopped then looked around to see if the guy had followed us.

'Kurt, oh my god,' I laughed.

'Was I too rude?' Kurt asked me, looking nervous now. 'He's not gonna come after me with a knife or something is he?'

'Of course not. You've been watching too much CSI.'

'Yeah I guess,' Kurt smiled, relaxing a little.

'That was really hot by the way,' I whispered into Kurt's ear. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled back to see he was blushing adorably. 'Did you mean what you said?'

'What part?' Kurt asked, his fingers playing with the buttons on my shirt.

'The part about me sucking your dick tonight,' I said, trying to sound seductive, but not too creepy.

'Oh god, I… I wasn't suggesting… I just… well er... not that I wouldn't want to… um do you want to?'

'Oh I want to,' I smiled and Kurt was staring at me, wide eyed and there wasn't a hint of hesitation looking back at me now. He wanted this just as much as I did. I pressed a kiss to his lips and then held one of his hands. 'Come on, let's go and dance.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Wow, I'm actually _touching_ the gates of Buckingham Palace,' I whispered. 'This is so surreal.'

'It's a pretty impressive building,' Blaine replied beside me.

'You know, when I was little my Mom promised she'd bring me here one day after I saw it in a magazine.'

Blaine's hand found mine straight away and he squeezed it. I turned to find him looking at me. 'I'm sorry,' he said with a sigh. 'I wish I could have met her, she must be pretty cool to have made you.'

I smiled at him, feeling sad and happy at the same time. If my mom hadn't have died, how different would be life be right now? Would I have felt able to tell her what happened to me? Would I have got help sooner? Would I have met Blaine? I shook my head slightly, getting rid of the 'what if' thoughts. It wasn't healthy.

'She would have loved you, you're so...'

'What?'

'You know,' I said quietly, feeling myself blush.

'What?' Blaine laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.

'You just want me to list your good points.'

'Well there's nothing wrong with massaging the ego now and again,' he smirked.

'Ok, ok… you're charming, good looking; just amazing… you… you really take my breath away Blaine.'

'Seriously?' he swallowed.

'Yeah.'

Blaine went back to looking at the Palace, but I could see the smile on his face as he thought about what I'd said. I meant it too; every time I saw him my stomach lurched with a mixture of nerves and excitement. It still blew my mind to think of what I'd been through to get to this point. We stood in silence for a few minutes, just taking in our surroundings.

'Blaine, can you believe that the Queen is like, in there somewhere. She's probably watching cat videos on youtube or something.'

Blaine laughed. 'No she's not.'

I looked at Blaine with a confused frown. 'Huh?'

'She's not in there.'

'How do you know?'

'The Royal Standard isn't flying.'

'The Royal what?'

'It's a flag. When the Queen is in residence at Buckingham Palace the Royal Standard flies.'

'Oh right,' I laughed. 'Have you memorised the guide book word for word or something?'

'Pretty much,' he blushed. 'I'm sorry, is that a bit sad?'

'Oh no, of course not, it's really sweet,' I assured him and he smiled with relief. 'Oh well, it's a shame she's not even in there though.'

'Was you hoping she'd invite us in for tea and cake?' Blaine smirked

'Well it would be rude not to. We have come a long way.'

'So what shall we do now?' he asked.

'It's up to you, I'm at your mercy,' I replied but immediately regretted it as Blaine's eyebrows rose up and he gave me a cheeky smile.

'Oh really?' he whispered, running a hand through my hair. 'Hmm, you might regret saying that later.'

'Blaine,' I scoffed, blushing bright red. 'You're ruining my hair.'

'You. Are. Adorable.'

'Shut up and look at your map,' I whispered.

Blaine winked at me and got his map of London out. He consulted it for a couple of minutes before speaking. 'Well, if we walk down The Mall we'll end up in Trafalgar Square.'

'Ok,' I replied, taking Blaine's hand as we began to walk. 'So Mr-Know-It-All, where does the Prime Minister live?'

'Downing Street,' Blaine answered with a slight smirk, looking incredibly proud of himself.

'Can we go there later?'

'Sure. We can't get near the door but we can go to the end of the street. It's on a road that leads from Trafalgar Square.'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'...and can we have a bottle of house red wine?'

'Of course Sir,' the waiter smiled at Blaine. He took our menus and then left us to it.

'You look so handsome,' I said dreamily and Blaine blushed.

'It's just a suit, and we are going to the theatre tonight so I wanted to look my best.'

'But that bow tie makes you look ridiculously cute.'

'You look amazing as well.'

'Well I try,' I replied and we both laughed. I was wearing skinny black jeans and a red shirt. A couple of minutes later our wine arrived and we clinked our glasses before taking the first sip. 'Thank you Blaine.'

'What for?' Blaine asked, as he put his wine glass down.

'What for?' I laughed. 'Are you crazy? Thank you bringing me to London, thank you for being the most incredible boyfriend in the whole world, thank you for everything.'

'The whole world huh?' Blaine said smugly.

'I'm trying to be serious,' I sighed, but couldn't help smiling too. 'I just… I really don't know what I'd do without you.'

Blaine reached across the table and grabbed my hand. I felt my pulse accelerate from the contact and I wondered if he experienced the same feelings, probably not. I was boyfriend number four or something for him after all.

'I don't know what I'd do without you either. This is just the beginning for us.'

'You um... you see us as a long term thing then?' I asked quietly and Blaine's eyes lit up.

'Of course I do. You are Joey's other Daddy now so it's not like you can just leave.'

'And what would happen if I did try to leave?'

'Well,' Blaine sighed. 'I'd have to take you hostage and keep you as my personal cuddle slave.'

'Ok, deal,' I laughed. 'I'd never walk away from you and if I did it must be because of some voodoo magic or something, so feel free to take me hostage.'

'Can I have that in writing?' Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow. Just then I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, I took it out and frowned at the display, my heart beating rapidly.

'It's my Dad.'

'Well answer it then,' Blaine said, looking at me slightly concerned.

'Um Dad? Are you ok? Is everything-'

'Hello to you too, of course I'm fine. How's the trip going?' Dad answered and I let out a sigh of relief and Blaine smiled at me.

'I thought something had happened, do you know how much this call is costing?'

'Who cares. How's London?'

'It's great Dad,' I replied. 'I love it here.'

'And is Blaine treating you good?'

'Yes, as always. He's a perfect gentleman.'

Blaine smirked at me, looking pleased and I rolled my eyes at him as my Dad told me that Carole was good and everything was fine back home. '...we'll see you soon.'

'Yeah, see you soon Dad, thanks for calling. Bye.'

'So be just wanted to check you were ok?' Blaine asked.

'Yeah, although he'll be pissed when the phone bill comes through and sees it cost thirty dollars or something.'

'After dinner do you want to share a dessert?' Blaine said excitedly.

'You're such a child,' I laughed, picking up my wine glass.


	21. Chapter 21

_~KURT'S POV~_

It was a fairly mild night in London so two hours later we were taking a leisurely stroll to the theatre to see Phantom instead of getting a taxi or public transport. I was so excited, I'd been to a couple of local amateur shows in Lima but this was my first big proper theatre experience.

'Have you ever seen Phantom before?'

'No,' Blaine replied. 'I've been to New York three times since I became an adult, but it was mostly work related so I never got round to seeing any shows. I went was I was a kid apparently, but don't remember a thing about it.'

'When we go there I want to walk the entire length of Broadway.'

'That sounds like fun.'

'Did you go on Brooklyn bridge?'

'No,' Blaine laughed. 'Nor the Empire State building or Statue of Liberty.'

'I can't believe you've been there three times and not even done the touristy stuff.'

'I know, it's pathetic really.' We carried on walking in silence until Blaine whispered, 'Kurt do you think I'm boring?'

'What?'

'Do you think I'm boring?'

I looked sideways at Blaine, he was looking at me and he didn't seem to be joking. In fact he seemed deadly serious. 'Blaine, that's a ridiculous thing to ask. Why would you think that?'

'Coming here to London, it's the biggest thing I've ever done and I just think-'

'Hey, where's this all coming from?' I interrupted.

'I've always lived by a routine and never really done much in the way of spontaneity.'

'Did Mark ever call you boring?' I asked, knowing this insecurity must have come from somewhere.

'Um... yeah I guess he did.'

'You see? That's probably played on your mind for weeks, months, years even.'

'Yeah but-'

'No buts ok? Just because you don't want to do something it doesn't mean you're boring. Aren't you supposed to be a therapist?'

'A psychologist,' Blaine laughed.

'So you don't go out and get hammered every night, or take last minute road trips to Vegas and gamble all your savings away... or... sleep around and break hearts. You take your career seriously and you have a heart of gold... none of that makes you boring Blaine.'

'Hmm,' Blaine replied quietly.

'You know, as much as people say they like a "bad boy" it's just a complete fantasy. It'll never last and will undoubtedly end in tears. When it comes to settling down and having a loving relationship...'

I didn't get to finish my sentence because Blaine's lips found mine and we'd stopped walking. He was kissing me passionately and his hands held onto the back of my neck. I felt the skin there become covered in goose bumps and was sure my legs were actually turning to jelly. When we broke apart we both looked around feeling a bit embarrassed, but none of the passers-by seemed to be taking any notice of us.

'Um, thanks,' I whispered and Blaine smiled at me, taking my hand again.

'You're welcome.'

* * *

><p>After the show we went back to our hotel and sat in the bar, drinking cocktails. We'd been too fired up to go to sleep yet so sat talking about the show.<p>

'...I loved that bit,' Blaine said. 'I could hear you singing along.'

'Oh god I hope nobody else heard,' I laughed. 'The guy two seats down from me kept falling asleep.'

'He was probably dragged along by his wife or something.'

'You er... don't feel like I dragged you to see-'

'Hey, don't even go there,' Blaine interrupted, giving me a beaming smile. 'I love musicals and Phantom was amazing.'

'Sorry,' I mumbled, then picked my glass up to find it empty. 'Oops.'

'Another?' Blaine asked excitedly and I nodded.

I couldn't help staring at Blaine's arse as he stood at the bar waiting to be served. Wow, my boyfriend was so fucking hot and he looked so good in his very well fitted suit. There are so many gorgeous gay men in the world yet he was with me. It really didn't make sense, he should be with someone else not... _oh fuck off negative thoughts_! Returning with our drinks Blaine sat back down beside me and kissed me on the cheek.

'What was that for?' I asked.

'I was just thinking how cute you looked as I walked over.'

'Oh so you're saying I don't usually look cute then?'

'Oh um... no that's not what-'

Blaine stopped talking as I began to laugh. He was so easy to wind up. After our second cocktail we decided to call it a night and left the bar. It probably wasn't a good idea to have wine at dinner and then cocktails. I was feeling very light headed, relaxed and I was becoming incredibly turned on. It was a mixture of alcohol, excitement, love and pure lust. It was Blaine's fault for being so bloody dreamy.

As we reached our room, I pulled Blaine towards me and he giggled as I kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss wasn't perfect, it was all tongue, teeth and on more than one occasion we nearly toppled over. When we parted, we were both panting heavily.

'I want you,' I whispered into Blaine's ear. I felt him shudder beneath me and couldn't believe I could cause that reaction in someone. I pulled back to see Blaine's eyes shining with desire.

'The other night not enough for you?' Blaine winked.

He was referring to our first night in London. After leaving the club where some guy had hit on Blaine, we went back to the hotel where he gave me another amazing blow job. I never thought it could be as good as the first one, but I'd been so wrong. And to top it off I had then watched as Blaine brought himself to orgasm right beside me. Fuck that had been hot. But that wasn't what I was getting at now. I wanted all of him.

'That's not what I had in mind,' I smiled, the alcohol boosting my confidence.

'Oh?'

'I want you Blaine. I want to be inside you.'

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again, his cheeks turning pink. His eyes searched my face and then he looked down to the floor and took a deep breath.

'Kurt... um... we really shouldn't do this in the corridor.'

Blaine turned to the door, pulled the key out of his pocket and let us into the room. He switched the light on and took his suit jacket and bow tie off, hanging them over the back of a chair as I shut the door behind us.

When he turned back towards me I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into me for another kiss before leaning my forehead against his, my heart racing. 'I'm ready Blaine, I want this. I want you so badly.'

'I want you too Kurt but-'

'No buts Blaine.'

'But not like this,' Blaine whispered, screwing his eyes shut and taking a step back.

'Not like what?' I whined. I could feel my erection straining against my pants and Blaine's hesitation was making me feel incredibly frustrated. Blaine opened his eyes and looked at me; I could see the conflict in them.

'We're drunk and we shouldn't... we can't.'

'We can,' I told him. 'We both want this, let's just-'

'No.'

'But-'

'No Kurt. It's not gonna happen.'

'Why are you being like this? I thought this is what you wanted?'

Blaine suddenly looked incredibly tired. 'It is, but now is not the right time. We've both been drinking and-'

'So fucking what? We're on vacation; we've had a few drinks, what difference does it-'

'Just stop,' Blaine shouted. 'Let's go to bed and we'll talk about it in the morning.'

I groaned, feeling angry now. 'It's always "let's talk about it" with you, whatever happened to being spontaneous, to… to having fun?'

'We'll talk about it tomorrow,' Blaine repeated quietly, staring down at his feet. There was no point arguing any further and the moment had been well and truly ruined anyway.

'Fine,' I whispered. I held back the tears as I stripped down to my underpants and got straight into the bed.

'Kurt don't you want to do your routine?' Blaine asked me but I didn't answer. Eventually Blaine got into the bed as well and turned his lamp off, plunging us into darkness.

* * *

><p>Blaine really looked adorable when he was asleep. His hair was coming out in curls and his mouth was slightly open. I was sitting on an arm chair by the window, waiting for him to wake up. I'd woken up at six with a banging headache and an overwhelming sense of shame at what had happened the previous night. Why did I have to ruin everything and throw myself at Blaine? I really should stop drinking alcohol, it clearly doesn't agree with me. What must he think of me? A short while later Blaine stirred and murmured into his pillow. Then his eyes fluttered opened and he found me.<p>

'Morning,' I said quietly and Blaine smiled at me, blinking.

'Hey,' he whispered, stretching out. 'What time is it?'

'Just gone eight.'

'How long have you been up?'

'Not long,' I lied.

'You should have woken me up.'

'You looked too peaceful.'

Blaine sat up in the bed, rubbing his eyes and yawning. 'I'll just get dressed and we can go to breakfast.'

'Ok,' I replied as Blaine got out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later we were sitting at a table in the hotel restaurant, both of us taking some much needed long sips of coffee. There had been a slight feeling of tension between us ever since we left our room, and I wondered if I should say something but luckily Blaine spoke first.

'Do you remember last night?' Blaine asked carefully as he buttered a piece of toast.

'Yes,' I replied. 'I'm sorry, I was an idiot.'

'No you weren't,' he argued, smiling at me.

'I was, I… I don't know what got into me.'

'Well I do.'

'Huh?'

'It's human nature Kurt. Do you really think I wasn't feeling exactly the same?'

'You... you were?'

'Of course. It wasn't easy stopping things before we got too far, but it was necessary.'

'Ok, well that makes me feel a bit better,' I said and Blaine laughed.

'Do you want to talk about anything from last night or pretend it never happened?' Blaine asked. I took a deep breath before answering, unsure of how he would react to what I had to say. But he was able to read me so well, maybe he already knew what it was.

'Blaine, I do want us to have sex... you know, when we're sober. When I said l was ready, I really meant it.'

'Oh... right. You know, I want you to be absolutely sure before we take things further. I don't want your progress ruined because we got caught up in the moment or rushed things.'

'I want to try Blaine, please. I've really thought this through a lot and I need this.'

'I see,' Blaine replied, biting down on his bottom lip. He was clearly having some sort of internal battle with himself.

'I feel ready Blaine, how much more proof do you need than me telling you?'

'Are you sure?' Blaine asked, reaching over the table and taking my hand.

'Yes. I've been thinking about it constantly ever since the first time you... you know, sucked me off and-'

'Can I get you gentleman any more coffee?'

Oh. My. God. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the heat rush to my cheeks. I let go of Blaine's hand and busied myself with various objects on the table. 'Um, no thanks,' Blaine answered the waitress in a slightly high pitched voice, desperately trying not to laugh.

'That was mortifying,' I whispered once she'd gone. 'They shouldn't be allowed to sneak up on you like that.'

'You're blushing, that's so sweet,' Blaine teased.

'Oh fuck, just kill me,' I groaned as Blaine struggled to control his laughing.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'Those crown jewels were stunning,' Kurt said as we came out of the Tower of London. 'Too bad they wouldn't let us try them on. I mean, do we look like criminals? It would have made an amazing facebook profile photo.'

'We're American,' I laughed. 'They probably don't trust their own people, let alone any foreigners.'

'What time is it now?' Kurt asked and I looked my watch.

'One thirty. You hungry?'

'Starving.'

'How about we walk over Tower Bridge and find somewhere to have lunch by the river?'

'Ok,' Kurt smiled, taking my hand. 'Lead the way tour guide.'

'Is that going to be my name from now on?' I moaned and Kurt giggled.

'Yep, it's your own fault for swallowing the guide book.'

'Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.'

Kurt laughed. 'You're such a adork.'

'You seem really happy Kurt,' I said after a few seconds of silence. I hadn't intentionally meant to say it, but I was thinking it and somehow it blurted out.

'What do you mean?' Kurt asked, and we stopped walking and faced each other, still holding hands. 'Of course I'm happy. I have you don't I?'

'I just mean... when we first met you were so... I don't know...'

'Screwed up?' Kurt offered with a sad smile.

'That's one way of putting it. But seeing you enjoy yourself, laughing, living life to the full... I'm so proud of you Kurt. And I know I've told you that before, but I really am.'

'Blaine, I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you,' Kurt said, looking intently at me.

'I know, I paid the air fares,' I quipped and we both laughed.

'You're impossible,' Kurt smiled. 'Can I be serious for a moment?'

'Sure.'

'I just want to thank you again, for everything you've done. I look back to myself a year ago and it doesn't seem like the same person. It defies logic what's happened over the last few months. It's as though I've been winning the lottery every single week and I'm going to spend every day showing you how grateful I am.'

'Being with you is more than enough,' I whispered. 'You know, I think we should become official.'

'What?' Kurt gasped, his eyes growing wide in shock. For a moment I was confused but then I realised how my words could have been interpreted so quickly backtracked.

'Oh god, sorry I'm not pro-proposing or... or anything... I just… I-'

'Blaine it's ok,' Kurt said, and thankfully he was smiling. 'I just freaked out for a second.'

'Sorry. What I was getting at is... our relationship needs to be official and the only way to do that is facebook.'

'Facebook? Blaine Anderson are you asking for my approval to be your facebook boyfriend?'

'Yep, I am.'

'I thought you'd never ask,' Kurt laughed, his eyes bright.

'Come on you, lunch' I said.

* * *

><p>Later that evening we came back to our hotel after another go on The London Eye to see the view over London at night, then a meal at a Michelin star restaurant which I'd chosen and kept quiet about. Kurt spent almost an hour trying and failing to persuade me to go halves on the bill. We paid the taxi driver that dropped us back and walked through the hotel lobby<p>

'Shall we have a drink in the bar?' I asked Kurt.

'Um, no. Can we just go to our room?'

'Sure,' I replied, noticing that Kurt looked a little tense. Once in our room, I kicked my shoes off and undid my tie, putting it on the table and undoing the top button of my shirt.

'Blaine?'

'Mmm?'

'I want to be with you.'

I turned around to face Kurt. He walked up to me and took both my hands in his and then took a deep breath, smiling at me and looking incredibly nervous, I could see it in his eyes. My pulse was rising and my mouth had gone dry.

'Um... are you-'

'Am I sure? Yes,' Kurt interrupted, rolling his eyes. I know Kurt had told me this morning he was ready but I hadn't planned on mentioning it again, wanting Kurt to take the lead. After all, he might have developed second thoughts about it. But apparently not.

'Now?' I whispered and Kurt nodded.

'Ok.'

'I have three conditions,' Kurt said, looking down at his feet.

'Oh yeah?' I giggled and Kurt looked back up at me, relieved to see I wasn't mad about there being conditions.

'One, don't keep asking if I'm ok.'

'Got it.'

'Two, tell me if I'm doing anything wrong.'

'Kurt, you won't do anything-'

'Just tell me ok? I want this to be special Blaine... for both of us.'

'Ok. And third?'

'Please don't fall asleep straight after.'

'I promise,' I laughed and I rested my forehead against Kurt's. 'Can I say something?'

'If you have to,' Kurt replied.

'Feel free to change your mind at any time. If you're at all uncomfortable, say so. Like you said, this should be special for us and if achieving that means trying another time then that's ok.'

'Ok,' Kurt whispered and then he was pulling me towards the bed.

We stopped moving when the back of Kurt's legs caught the edge of the bed. Time stood still for a moment as we stared into each other's eyes. This was it, this was really happening and we both wanted it so much. I could see the undeniable need and desire shining in Kurt's eyes and my love for him grew even deeper. I took my hands from Kurt's and without breaking the eye contact pulled my suit jacket off, dumping it on the floor.

'It'll crease,' Kurt said quietly with a sweet smile.

'I don't care,' I replied, and in one fluid movement I wrapped my hands around Kurt's neck and crashed our lips together desperately. Kurt responded with equal enthusiasm, reaching out and clamping his hands down on my hips, pulling our bodies closer together.

I could already feel my cock getting hard and straining against my pants. I couldn't help rolling my hips into Kurt a little and he let out a deep moan from the back of his throat and fuck; it was the most erotic sound I had ever heard, sending a wave of pleasurable feelings throughout my body. Kurt forced his tongue past my lips and into my mouth and I wound my fingers into his hair, tugging at it slightly and knowing this was one time he wouldn't berate me for messing it up.

As I sucked on his tongue, Kurt's hands left my hips and he pulled my tucked shirt out of my trousers and then undid the buttons from bottom to top. He placed his palms on my lower abdomen and moved them slowly up my body, finally resting them on my chest. I shivered at the feeling and broke the kiss, both of us panting hard. Kurt's lips were red and swollen which made him look incredibly sexy.

'I can feel your heart beat,' Kurt said. 'It's racing.'

'You do that to me,' I told him and he smiled. 'Nobody has ever made me feel the way you make me feel.'

'I'm special then?' Kurt asked shyly, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

'Oh god Kurt you have no idea how special you are.'

'I'm s-so glad I found you Blaine,' Kurt whispered, his voice breaking. 'I love you so much.'

'And I love you.'

'I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that,' Kurt beamed and then we were kissing once more and I wasn't sure exactly who restarted it. Kurt slowly lowered his hands down my body again and came to a stop at the top of my trousers. He undid my belt, the button and then pulled down the zip.

I gasped into the kiss as Kurt's hand squeezed my cock beneath my underpants. I was feeling incredibly hot now, so clumsily managed to rid myself of my shirt and threw it to the floor. I was vaguely aware of my trousers falling and pooling around my ankles and my mind immediately went to the fact that Kurt was far too overdressed and needed to be naked so I reached for his shirt buttons which were tiny and fiddly, impossible to undo. Kurt giggled as I groaned with frustration into the kiss. We broke apart and Kurt took over the buttons, expertly riding himself of his shirt in seconds.

'It'll crease,' I said to him as it landed on the floor in a heap.

'I don't care,' he shrugged and we both laughed. I looked down at the bulge in Kurt's jeans and then placed my hands on his hips, hooking my thumbs into his waistband.

'Do you have any idea what these incredibly tight pants have been doing to me all evening?' I whispered and Kurt blushed.

'It's not my fault you've got a pervy imagination,' Kurt teased. 'Really Blaine, they're just pants.'

'Hmm, says he who currently has a very obvious arousal and had his hand wrapped around my cock about ten seconds ago and-'

'Shut up and continue getting naked,' Kurt ordered in a sexy voice and I held back the urge to growl and throw him on the bed. Instead I removed his pants and then we both rid ourselves of our socks and underwear in lightning speed. We were both fully naked now, and both extremely hard and turned on. We found ourselves staring at each other's erections for a moment, drinking in the beauty of one another. My heart pounded as I waited for Kurt's go ahead, any sign that I could just let go and explore his body and-

Kurt gave me a cheeky wink and then turned around and climbed onto the bed. I followed and sat behind him on my knees, pulling him into the gap and then kissing his neck, my cock pressed up against his back. Kurt's head fell backwards onto my shoulder and he reached for my hands, clasping them tightly in front of him. I trailed the tip of my tongue around the outer shell of his ear and Kurt murmured happily. I breathed in his scent; so fresh, so unique, so Kurt.

'You're so hard,' Kurt said quietly, moving his back against my erection.

'Can you blame me?' I whispered into his ear and then returned to kissing his neck. Kurt slowly let my hands go and put one of them on his own cock. I began stroking him up and down and with my free hand trailed patterns on Kurt's chest. I was touching Kurt in three different ways and I felt him physically relax his muscles and let out a sigh of complete contentment.

'Blaine,' he chuckled after a few minutes.

'Hmm?'

'Are you drawing hearts on me?'

I stopped everything I was doing and leaned my cheek against Kurt's. 'Was I?'

'Yeah you were.'

'I didn't realise.'

Kurt turned around to face me, a huge smile on his face. Then he pulled me by the arm and I fell on top of him. My hands tangled themselves in his hair and we started kissing again, our erections rubbing against each other. Jesus, if this felt that fucking good, how much better would... holy fuck, Kurt's hands gripped my arse and he rocked our hips together and...

'Mnnng,' I gasped against Kurt's lips and I could feel him smiling. This continued for a few minutes until I pulled my lips away, Kurt pouting at the loss. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was all messed up. He looked positively breath-taking.

'Enjoying the view?'

'Something like that,' I winked.

'Let's switch positions,' Kurt whispered and I rolled off of him onto my back and barely a second later Kurt's body was covering my own.


	22. Chapter 22

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

He was smiling down at me and looking thoughtful. I reached my hand out and lightly stroked Kurt's cheek. I couldn't believe I was more nervous now than my first time eleven years ago. The circumstances you couldn't even compare. Kurt leaned down and trailed his tongue along my collarbone, and ran his fingers up and down my thighs, grounding his hips into me every few seconds. A shiver went through my body and I was so aroused I could barely see properly and eventually it became too much and too little at the same time. I needed more, I needed Kurt.

'I need you so badly,' I moaned and Kurt hummed in response, biting into my skin a little and causing a gasp to escape from my lips. 'Jesus Kurt, I need-'

'Oh god Blaine... me too, have you... um, where are the...'

I didn't need Kurt to finish his sentence to know what he was going to say. He moved off me so I could reach over to the bedside table drawer and root around until I found a condom, a pack of wipes and a bottle of lube. Kurt's eyes widened slightly and he stared at the lube.

'Oh right, I need to... to... prepare you.'

'Yeah, um... I can do it if you want,' I offered, putting the stuff down on the bed. I put my hand on Kurt's leg and lightly stroked in circles with my thumb. 'I'll do whatever you feel comfortable with.'

'Can I watch while you do it?' Kurt asked shyly and it was incredibly adorable considering the plan was to have his cock in there pretty soon.

'Of course you can,' I said. I laid down on my back, spreading my legs apart. I put a generous amount of lube on my hand and then pushed one finger into my hole. I let it rest there for a moment before adding another finger. I looked up to see Kurt staring intently at what I was doing, biting down on his bottom lip. I was just about to start stretching myself when Kurt laid a hand softly on my arm and held my gaze.

'Can I?' I smiled and pulled my fingers out. Kurt picked up the lube and coated his own hand with it, then positioned himself in between my legs and looked at me. 'How many?'

'Two,' I answered. 'One at a time though.' Kurt circled the entrance, teasingly so. I whined slightly and he smirked at me.

'Someone needs to learn some patience.'

'Don't wanna,' I sulked and then Kurt pushed a finger into me and oh... yeah that definitely felt much better than my own. Kurt added a second finger and I didn't have to instruct him any further. He began scissoring inside me, stretching me out and I moaned softly at the feeling, eyes closed and unable to prevent myself from thrusting my hips forward slightly.

'Does that feel ok?' Kurt asked and I smiled, nodding my head. A third finger was added and I jerked forwards as Kurt pressed against a sensitive spot.

'Oooh... yeah... I'm r-ready,' I gasped out and Kurt slowly pulled his fingers out and I felt an immediate sense of emptiness. I had such an overwhelmingly desperate need to have his cock in me, filling me up and-

'How should we do this?' Kurt whispered and I opened my eyes to look up at him. He was looking a little apprehensive. 'Are you gonna lie on your back and I um...'

'Or I could lower myself onto you,' I suggested and Kurt considered this idea for a moment.

'Ok,' he eventually whispered, looking calmer. 'I think I'd like that.'

Kurt edged backwards on the bed, resting against the headboard. I sat up and passed him the condom and watched as he ripped the packet open, a look of concentration on his face. I wondered whether Kurt had ever put a condom on before, but now wasn't the time for questions. Then I noticed the nerves were creeping in.

'Kurt, you're shaking,' I said quietly as he rolled the condom over his cock with ease.

'I'm ok,' he smiled, looking up at me. 'Really. Just a bit nervous.'

With the condom on and nothing more standing in our way I straddled Kurt's lap and took his face in my hands and took a deep breath. I was so turned on I just wanted to impale myself on Kurt as quick as possible but it didn't seem right at this point not to say something, anything.

'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Kurt.'

'I should be the one saying that to you,' he whispered, his eyes wide and full of emotion. 'Promise me you'll never leave me Blaine… promise.'

'I promise,' I told him and then we started kissing again. Kurt's hands grabbed my hips and we both moaned into each other's mouths and just enjoyed the feeling for a few minutes until we had to breakaway for air.

'Are you ready?' I whispered and Kurt nodded, swallowing thickly. I lifted myself up a little and reached down to hold Kurt's cock, lining it up with my entrance. I looked into Kurt's eyes as I lowered myself onto the tip, groaning as his cock penetrated my tight muscles. Kurt took a sharp intake of breath, his eyes wide and shining with wonder and amazement. I paused for a moment, screwing my eyes shut and then I slowly pushed down until I was sitting on Kurt and his cock was completely buried inside me. All coherent thought left my brain. Breathing deeply, I leaned my forehead against Kurt's.

'How does that feel?' I whispered.

'Incredible,' Kurt smiled. 'Fuck Blaine, it feels incredible.'

He put his hands on my arse, holding me there and pushed himself upwards, deepening the penetration. 'Ah f-fuuuck,' I groaned, throwing my head back. After allowing myself time to get used to the intrusion I began to lift myself almost off Kurt's cock and then sliding back down again. I closed my eyes as the intense feeling took over.

'Blaine you feel so... so good,' Kurt moaned, his fingers digging into the flesh of my arse. I built up my rhythm and speed and was just finding a steady pace when-

'Stop,' Kurt shouted out and my eyes flew open and I looked down at him but couldn't see any panic staring back at me, just pure lust.

'W-what is it?' I asked, feeling lightheaded and using all my self-control to keep still.

'Nothing, I just...'

But Kurt didn't finish whatever he was going to say. He held tightly onto my hips and pushed me backwards, falling on top of me. In a frenzy he lifted my legs onto his shoulders, buried his head in the crook of my shoulder and began to thrust in and out of me, fully taking control, no longer satisfied with watching.

'Oh... God... Kuuuuurt,' I screamed out, gripping the bed sheets and curling my toes. I moved my legs down to wrap them around Kurt's waist and his fingers tangled themselves into my hair. His mouth found mine and we were kissing, his body pressing down on me and I grabbed his arse, pulling Kurt into me with every one of his thrusts.

I was in absolute heaven. Pure fucking heaven and I never wanted it to end. Kurt's cock pounding into me, our tongues dancing together as we both groaned and the friction against my own cock between our bodies. I was experiencing so many sensations all at once I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

'K-Kurt... I'm not gonna... gonna last much...' Kurt smiled against my lips and then once again buried his face in the crook of my neck, pushing his weight down on me and then I felt it approaching fast. 'Oh... oh god... fuuuck... Kurt...'

My body jerked beneath Kurt as I let go and released, biting down hard on my bottom lip and thrusting my hips forward to create more friction as my orgasm overtook. Kurt slowed down to a complete stop and planted kisses on my neck. I was about to say something when he pushed himself up with his hands, returned my legs to his shoulders and proceeded to fuck me even harder than before. I watched him, head thrown back and in the throes of passion and without a care in the world. Then he came, his entire body shuddering with pleasure as he rode out his orgasm, eye shut and still moving inside me. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Once it was over he slowly pulled out before collapsing beside me. Our hands found each other's automatically and we were silent for a couple of minutes as we both allowed our breathing to get back to normal. I heard the sound of the condom being removed and I turned my head to the side to find a pair of blue eyes and a big smile.

'How... how was it?' I asked, pushing my free hand through Kurt's slightly sweat damped hair.

'Perfect,' he whispered and I could see tears in his eyes now and my heart swelled.

'I hope those are happy tears,' I said.

'Of course they are... I can't believe I know the difference now.'

'Difference?'

'Between sex and making love. I used to think it wasn't possible to have so many... emotions attached to sex like that. But you really can't understand it until you experience it.'

'It's so amazing to hear you say that. Kurt, that was without a doubt the best sex I've ever had.'

'Please... please don't feel you have to say that,' Kurt begged, tensing slightly.

'I'm not. Kurt you said yourself, there was so much emotion and a million feelings connected to what we just did. I've never had that before. I just... I can't even put into words how happy I am right now. Thank you... and the way you just took control? Wow.'

'Animal instincts maybe?' Kurt blushed. 'I couldn't help myself. Sorry.'

'No don't apologise, it was... really amazing.'

'Thanks. I... I was so worried about being a disappointment to you.'

'I was worried about the same thing,' I laughed. 'But Kurt, you could never disappoint me... so um, shall we...'

'Shower?' Kurt asked, sitting himself up.

'You read my mind.'

* * *

><p>Breakfast the following morning was met with a lot of smiles, blushes and giggles. Kurt and I had sex, I still couldn't believe it. It was everything I'd dreamed of and so much more. I was literally on cloud nine and had never been happier in my whole life. Last night could have been a disaster, one little thing could have potentially freaked Kurt out and a few weeks ago probably would have, and most definitely have at the beginning of our relationship.<p>

Since waking up I was preoccupied with thoughts of how it felt to have Kurt's cock filling me up and the sheer pleasure I felt was amazing. I was a little bit sore but I didn't care and welcomed the reminder.

'You look thoughtful,' Kurt said and I looked over at him as he brought his coffee to his lips and took a sip. Oh god, even that was looking sexual to me, the way Kurt's lips parted and- 'Blaine?'

'Oh sorry,' I laughed nervously. 'I was just thinking about last night.'

'Oh right. What did you get up to?'

'Not much, washed my hair... sorted out my sock drawer.'

'Sounds fun,' Kurt laughed and then we were staring into each other's eyes and my heart began to race.

'Seriously though, last night was just so...'

'...yeah,' Kurt finished with a smile. He bit down on his bottom lip and looked around.

'You don't wanna talk about it?'

'It's not that, I just don't want to be embarrassed by eavesdropping staff again.'

'Oh right,' I laughed, feeling relieved.

'But let's just say I wouldn't be able to leave this table right now,' Kurt whispered, and then he winked at me.

'Huh? What do you... oh... _oh_.'

I could feel the heat creeping up my neck. Knowing that Kurt was aroused was seriously turning me on. Oh jesus. Kurt was smirking; pleased he'd rendered me completely flustered by that nugget of information.

'I really want to kiss you right now,' I said, leaning over the table.

'Me too.'

Kurt's eyes drifted to my mouth and I gulped. Why didn't we order breakfast for our room? 'It's our last full day in London.'

'We better make the most of it then,' Kurt smiled.

'Yeah, um... we can spare half an hour to er… have a little rest before we head out?'

'Eat up then.'

* * *

><p>Since we had sex Kurt and I couldn't keep our hands off each other. Not in <em>that<em> way, we just constantly wanted to be close, touching, holding hands. It was as though we couldn't handle even the smallest distance between us anymore and I never wanted this feeling to end. The way he made me feel from the briefest look or the smallest of smiles was overwhelming. I just wanted to love and protect him forever.

The time came to head back home to Ohio after what had been the most amazing few days of my life in London. Kurt and I amended our facebook profiles to say we were in a relationship just as we were boarding the flight back. So as you can imagine, when we landed and checked our phones during the cab ride we both had several texts and comments on facebook about it. We were at the back of a seven seater so had privacy from the driver.

'Wes wants to know if one of us has been knocked up yet, he wants to be godfather,' I told Kurt and he laughed.

'Well he'd have to join the queue, I think David, Nick and Jeff would have issue with that.'

'He also says to ask Kirk how he managed not to be bored to death by me.'

Kurt looked at me. 'On the contrary, you entertained me _very_ well.'

I felt my face heating up. 'Why thank you.'

'Anyway, no wonder you have this silly complex about being boring when your own friends tease you about it.'

'With my Dalton friends it goes back years because I always got good grades. So they concluded I must have spent all my free time being a bore and studying.'

'Did you?' Kurt smiled.

'Not really, I just picked things up pretty quickly.'

'I can imagine you being a nerd. Aww little nerdy Blaine, curly haired, wearing glasses and carrying text books everywhere.'

'Hey, I was not a nerd,' I laughed.

'Of course you weren't,' Kurt said sceptically. 'What are your other friends saying?'

'Stuff like "I'm happy for you," generally just nice comments.'

'You've got some really great friends Blaine.'

'I know. We all pretend everyone gets on our nerves but deep down we know how lucky we are. Whenever we get _really_ drunk, which isn't often these days, we end up confessing our love for each other. But we completely deny it the next day.'

'I bet it's hilarious when you lot get bladdered.'

'Well you'll witness it soon enough.'

'Can't wait.'

'So er… what have your friends got to say?' I asked and Kurt looked back at his phone.

'Well, there are a lot of "Aww" comments, and Sam has sent me a text saying we should go out for a meal with him and his boyfriend. Like a double date thing... what do you think?'

'Sounds great,' I replied. 'It'll be nice to socialise with another couple other than Nick and Jeff.'

'What about your Uni friend… Simon is it? Is he in a relationship?'

'He's always in a relationship,' I told him, rolling my eyes. 'They just don't happen to last longer than one night.'

'Did you two ever... um...' Kurt trailed off awkwardly; looking worried he may have said too much or dug up an unpleasant memory.

'Oh god no. I'd rather date Wes than Simon.'

'I'm sure Wes would be pleased to hear that.'

'Funnily enough I think he would you know. I have a theory that everyone who went to Dalton leaves at least five per cent gay.'

'Well the ones that hung out with you certainly did,' Kurt giggled.

'I guess the gay rubbed off on them.'

'I wish I'd known you as a teenager, I bet you were more like a puppy than you are now.'

I laughed. 'Yeah, I guess everything was a bit more hyper. I wish I was a bit younger and had gone to McKinley.'

Kurt smiled shyly. 'Really?'

Yeah,' I nodded. 'I could have found you ten years earlier. Just imagine the unspoken teenage crush, months of staring and wondering. Then one day we're paired up in glee club and have to talk to each other for the first time.'

'I'd mumble over my words and you'd be all giggly.'

'Then we'd become friends and one night someone would sneak booze into a birthday party and I'd have the confidence to kiss you.'

'But then you'd run away and we'd avoid each other for a few days.'

I smiled. 'Yep, until one of us puts a note in the others locker and we meet up and awkwardly end up going on our first date.'

'Sounds perfect,' Kurt sighed. 'The process is so boring when you become an adult, you just ask someone out.'

'Well I'm glad we found each other in the end.'

'Me too.'

When the cab pulled up outside Kurt's house half an hour later we got out, the driver retrieving Kurt's suitcase from the trunk and putting it by the front door for him. 'I'll just be a minute,' I said to him and he nodded and got back in the car. I turned to look at Kurt, who sighed and smiled sadly at me. 'Come here.'

Kurt took a step forward, allowing me to pull him into a tight hug. I breathed in his scent and I could feel Kurt squeezing me a bit tighter than was necessary. When we pulled apart I could see tears in Kurt's eyes and my heart ached.

'Hey don't cry,' I said softly, stroking my thumbs over his cheeks.

'I'm sorry; I don't mean to get s-so emotional. Blaine, I've had the best time of my life and I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough.'

'Just keep being you, that's all I want,' I told him and then I took Kurt's hand and brought it up to my lips.

'What are you going to do when you get home?' Kurt asked.

'Well I have to go and pick Joey up from my parents and then hopefully just sleep for about twelve hours before diving back into reality tomorrow.'

'So... when will I see you again?'

'Tomorrow?' I suggested and Kurt's eyes lit up. He'd clearly been worried I might have said the following weekend or something or that I'd need time alone to concentrate on work. 'How about we go to Breadstix after work. I don't think either of us will feel like cooking and we can talk about London and... and well... just talk?'

'Ok,' Kurt nodded. 'Say hi to Joey for me.'

'I will,' I promised and Kurt leaned forward to kiss me. It was sweet, tender and full of love.

'See you tomorrow,' I whispered. Our hands let go and I got back into the car with a lump in my throat. Why did leaving Kurt behind feel so wrong?

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I watched the car pull away and head down the street. I waved until I couldn't see it any more. I'd just spent the past few days feeling on top of the world, yet right now I felt flat and lonely. I turned around and let myself into the house, leaving my suitcase in the hallway. I was about to disappear up to my room when Carole appeared out of the kitchen and came running up to me.

'Welcome back,' she smiled and enveloped me into a hug. 'It's so good to see you.'

'You too,' I replied, instantly feeling a bit better. What was it about a hug that was comforting and healing?

When Carole let me go after a few seconds her smile faded. 'Kurt, what's wrong?'

'Oh nothing,' I replied, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand and feeling embarrassed. 'I was just saying bye to Blaine outside.'

'Aww, I understand.'

'Understand what?'

'You're at that stage where saying goodbye feels totally wrong,' Carole replied. So she did understand. It wasn't just me being stupid then?

'I just want to be with him all the time,' I admitted.

'Well that's to be expected, you've just spent the best part of a week together 24/7.'

'I guess, but it just doesn't feel right watching him go off without me.'

'Do you feel as though you want to chase after him?'

'Yeah,' I nodded.

'Have you grown accustomed to waking up next to Blaine in the mornings?'

'Yeah.'

'Do you think he feels the same way?' Carole asked with a smile.

'I don't know... maybe. He's a lot better at controlling his emotions than I am.'

'So it's not something you've discussed?'

'No.'

'Perhaps you two need to talk... about the future. Maybe it's time to move your relationship forward.'

'I don't know,' I sighed.

'You don't know if you want to move forward or you don't know if you should suggest it?'

'The latter,' I replied.

'You know Blaine a hell of a lot better than I do, but in my experience it's not usually a good idea to keep feelings like this to yourself.'

I smiled. 'You sound like Blaine.'

'Come on, we can talk about it all over a cup of coffee and I'm dying to hear all about London.'

'Where's Dad?' I asked as I followed Carole into the kitchen.

'He's on a call out, but he should be back soon.'

'Has he been ok?'

'Yeah he's been fine, and wondering what you've been up to in London. I hope you took lots of photos.'

'Tons,' I replied.

'We'd love to see them... the appropriate ones anyway.'

'_Carole_,' I gasped, instantly blushing.

'What?' she replied innocently but there was a smirk there too. 'It's good advice to always have a quick look through your vacation snaps before giving them to someone else.'

I sat down at the table, trying to stop my mind focusing on the naked photos I'd taken of Blaine in our hotel room. There was one of him from the back in the shower and- _Dad naked on a beach, Dad naked on a beach...__  
><em>  
>'Carole?' I said, as she busied herself with making the coffee.<p>

'Hmm?'

'How can one person just change... everything?'

'That's love Kurt,' she replied, turning to me with a knowing smile. 'Don't question it, embrace it.'

'Is it really that simple?' I frowned.

'If you allow it to be, of course.'

My phone beeped in my pocket and I pulled it out to find a text from Blaine. As I read it I felt a lump in my throat but I was also beaming with pride. _I love you Kurt, always and forever. Bx__  
><em>  
>'Blaine?'<p>

I looked up to see Carole smiling at me. 'Yeah.'

* * *

><p>'Shut the fuck up,' I groaned as I threw my alarm clock across the room. Ten and a half hours sleep yet it felt like I'd had no more than ten minutes. I could have sworn I turned over to get comfortable and the next minute the bloody alarm was going off. Jet lag was a bitch. I had two options, get up now and drink my body weight in coffee, or go back to sleep, not turn up to work and get fired.<p>

I managed to crawl out of bed with minimal self-control and walked to the bathroom, staggering down the hall as I still had my eyes shut; trying to fool my body into thinking it was still asleep. Twenty minutes later I was walking down the stairs, reading a text from Blaine I'd just received.

_Morning gorgeous :) Joey and I missed you last night :( Can't wait to see you for dinner! Bx P.S. Don't look on facebook.__  
><em>  
>I paused on the stairs and obviously curiosity got the better of me, I mean who in their right mind wouldn't look on facebook after being told not to? I sat on the bottom step and logged into my facebook app. I clicked onto Blaine's profile and read his most recent status.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

_~KURT'S POV~_

**BLAINE ANDERSON**: _London was awesome, but so is lying in my own bed again. OH YEAH! Nobody disturb me for at least 12 hours :)__  
><em>Wes: _12 hours? Eww you and Kirk are just gross._  
>David: <em>Keep your bedroom filth off FB Anderson!<em>  
>Simon: <em>Dude why haven't I met this Kirk of yours yet?<em>  
>Jeff: <em>Blainey's very protective of his Kirky Simon!<em>  
>Wes: <em>Yeah he stalked him for months before Kirk finally gave in.<em>  
>Jeff: <em>I don't like to make assumptions, but I think drugs were probably involved.<em>  
>Wes: <em>Poor drugged up Kirk :(<em>  
>Simon: <em>Or Blaine just gives awesome head?<em>  
>David: <em>...I feel sick...<em>  
>Blaine: <em>I have work colleagues on here guys, keep it clean :)<em>  
>Jeff: <em>Pot? Kettle?<em>  
>Wes: <em>That's a bit rich seeing as you started it Blainey.<em>  
>Jeff: <em>Makes you wonder how our Blainey ever became a Doctor... yeesh!<em>  
>David: <em>He probably faked his PhD certificate online or something.<em>  
>Simon: <em>Blaine? Are you gonna tell us about your BJ skills then...?<em>  
>David: <em>...now I have been sick...<em>

I couldn't help laughing; Blaine really did have a great group of friends, even if they were high up on the embarrassment factor. They would literally do anything for him and that's the only thing that mattered. I sent him a text before going into the kitchen.

_Morning :) I missed you terribly too! I'm counting down the minutes to Breadstix. K x P.S. Your BJ skills ARE fucking awesome ;)_

'You look like you've hardly slept,' Dad said as soon as he saw me. He was sitting at the table having his breakfast, a nice healthy one as well.

'Thanks Dad, morning to you too,' I laughed, but I knew he was right. I was pale, puffy and had bags under my eyes. Stupid fucking jet lag. I joined him at the table a couple of minutes later with two mugs of strong coffee for myself.

'Something amusing you Kurt?' Dad asked and I frowned at him.

'Why do you say that?'

'You keep smiling to yourself.'

'Am I? Oh... I was just thinking about a text I got from Blaine.' Dad raised his eyebrows a little and I couldn't help blushing slightly. 'He was just saying he missed me, that's all.'

'Oh sure he was.'

I took my first sip of coffee and couldn't help a little 'Mmm,' escaping from my lips. 'Yeah that's good.'

'Do you three need some alone time?' Dad chuckled.

'Very funny,' I replied, narrowing my eyes at him. 'Has Carole already gone to work?'

'Yeah, she's doing the early shift. She um... she told me how you got a bit upset yesterday... when waving Blaine off.'

I sighed and looked away, feeling silly. 'You don't have to tell me I'm stupid Dad... I know I-'

'It's not stupid Kurt,' he interrupted and I looked back at him with a bemused expression on my face. ' Why would I think that? When I think to how down you were and now you have a boyfriend who I not only approve of, but really like. I'm thrilled that you've found someone who can make you feel that way.'

'Really?' I smiled.

'Of course.'

'You don't think it's a bit... sappy?'

'Look, I remember just before I proposed to Carole, every time I dropped her off home it was like having my arm ripped off. It's not "sappy" as you call it and if it is then I must be a sap too.'

'I'm sure Carole would be pleased to hear that,' I laughed.

'You know he's welcome here any time Kurt. You're both working full time and I understand your need to spend as much time together as possible. And we're fine with you staying over at his. We'd appreciate a heads up obviously... you know how um, Carole worries.'

'Hmm, I think you're mistaking Carole for you Dad.'

'I don't know what you mean,' he mumbled.

'Well you're the one that insists on calling Kip if he hasn't been in touch for more than two days.'

'Don't you have a job to be getting to?'

'Right after my two coffees,' I smirked. 'So... have you heard from Kip?'

'Yeah, he made it to dinner on Friday which was nice. But um...'

'What?' I prompted and Dad sighed.

'He's received another letter from the adoption agency.'

'His Mom again?'

'Yeah. She's claiming that she only has a few weeks to live.'

'Oh. Don't you believe her?'

Dad shrugged. 'I don't know what to believe, but it's affecting Kip. We all knew one day he'd want to meet his Mom, but now he's possibly being forced to do it before he's ready.'

'And if she's lying just to get Kip to see her, she'll completely lose him a second time.'

'Exactly.'

'Poor Kip. I'll call him later.'

'Yeah I think he'd appreciate that. Are you seeing Blaine today?'

'Yeah, for dinner.'

'I thought so,' Dad smiled.

* * *

><p>When I arrived at work I had another text from Blaine. <em>OMG I just got a coffee from Lima Bean on the way to work. Heaven. I didn't realise how much I'd missed it. Am I an addict? Bx<em>

I brushed my finger over the screen, feeling emotional. Blaine really was my everything. I still couldn't believe we'd actually had sex. All my worries and insecurities about it had been completely unfounded and it had been the most amazing experience of my life. Obviously there were still obstacles to conquer but it had been such a huge step for us.

When lunchtime arrived I sat down in the staff room with my homemade sandwich and fourth coffee of the day to catch up with my colleagues, telling tales about our week off from the school. I was also texting Blaine discreetly at the same time.

_I look hideous today :( K x_

_Well hello to you too! Bx_

_I'm being serious. HIDEOUS. K x_

_You don't look hideous, you look gorgeous :) Bx_

_You haven't seen me, you're not qualified to judge :P K x_

_I don't need to see you to know you're the most stunning man ever. B_

_x__You just earned extra cute boyfriend points for that :) K x_

_Oooh I'm collecting points? What are they building up to? ;) Bx_

_You'll have to wait and see! Shall I meet you inside Breadstix later? K x_

_Tease! I'll come and collect you from your car :) Bx_

_Why? K x_

_Because I'm dying to kiss you and I'd rather not get kicked out of Breadstix for lewd behaviour cos their food is awesome :) Bx_

_You're such a romantic Blaine! :) K x_

_Hmm, you're the one that praised my BJ skills via text this morning! I was thinking all kinds of improper thoughts on the drive to work. Bx_

_Sorry ;) How's your day been so far? K x_

_Busy. So looking forward to seeing you though :) Bx_

_If you need to work late or something you know it's ok to cancel dinner, I won't mind (well I'll be a little upset but I'll understand) K x_

_You're amazing Kurt and there's no way I'm cancelling dinner. I could never be too busy for you. Bx_

_Promise you won't tease me about my hideous puffy face? K x_

_There's nothing wrong with your face, but I promise :) Booooo lunchtime is over, see you in 4 hours! Bx_

_Literally. CAN'T. Wait. K x_

* * *

><p>As soon as I turned the engine off I saw Blaine walking towards my car and my stomach fluttered pleasantly. I loved that he still made me feel like this whenever I saw him and I really hoped it would never change. With a huge grin I got out and we hugged each other as though we'd been apart for weeks not just one day in which we'd both spent at least twelve of those hours asleep.<p>

I took in the smell of him, all Blaine and fucking gorgeous. Then we were kissing, Blaine's tongue dipping into my mouth and neither of us caring that we were in the middle of a parking lot with lots of people milling about.

It was like I was addicted to him; it was never quite enough, as though something was always missing. My head was swimming with brain mush as we both moaned softly into the kiss. When we finally broke apart we stared at each other, arms still tightly wrapped around the other.

'Hey you,' Blaine whispered.

'Hi,' I replied. 'What a surprise seeing you here.'

'Oh I just really love their spaghetti and horrible breadsticks.'

'Is that so? Well maybe I should leave you to it then.'

'No way,' Blaine whined. 'I need a pretty face sitting opposite me.'

'Well let's go inside then,' I said and I took his hand. We went into Breadstix, sat at our table and ordered. As the waitress walked away after delivering our drinks, Blaine sighed and pouted at me. It was very cute.

'Something up?' I asked.

'It really sucked leaving you yesterday.'

'Yeah it was,' I replied. 'I really did miss you last night. My bed felt too big.'

'It was weird not waking up next to you, I even had Joey in the bed with me.'

'Aww that's an adorable image. I bet he loved it.'

'He was very excited at first and wouldn't settle down.'

'I can't wait to see Joey again, I've really missed him.'

'How was work today?' Blaine asked, taking a sip of his diet coke.

'It was ok. I must have yawned about three hundred times though. I never understood when people said they had jet lag.'

'But you understand now,' Blaine laughed.

'Yeah. I don't feel tired in the sense that my eyes keep trying to close, it's more in the head. It feels like I need about four days sleep to get back on track.'

Blaine smiled. 'It will pass in a couple of days.'

'It better do. How was your day?'

'Productive. I didn't see any clients today because I knew I'd be no use to anybody. But I was catching up, doing paperwork, making phone calls etc. All my colleagues were asking about London of course.'

'Mine too. I felt like I was in a zoo during lunch, they were all gathered around asking questions. But it was nice they were interested.'

'So Kurt... are we going to ignore the issue or should we just lay it all out on the table and be honest with each other?'

'Sorry?' I frowned.

'Regarding when we left each other yesterday.'

'Oh right,' I nodded. 'Shall I go first?'

'Sure.'

'Well I guess I wasn't expecting to feel so... I don't know... empty. I just really wanted to follow you, hug you and never let you go.'

'Me too. It felt so wrong driving away from you. I wanted to shout at the driver to turn back.'

'Even though I was seeing you the next day I just felt so... sad. Is that pathetic?'

'No of course not,' Blaine replied, shaking his head. 'It was the same for me.'

'So um... what can we do about it?' I asked nervously.

'Well it seems as though we've got three options here,' Blaine said.

'We have? What are they?'

'Firstly, we could just carry on the same and hate not seeing each other more.'

'I don't like that option,' I pouted and Blaine laughed.

'Nor me. Or we could take it turns to sleep over at each other's homes as much as possible, during the week as well as the weekend. Although I have Joey, so that would need some thinking about... hmm...'

'And the third option?' I asked, feeling my heart racing beneath my chest. Was this going where I thought it was going?

'You move in with me,' Blaine smiled.

O.M.G.

'Right... er...' I was a bit speechless.

'Well?' Blaine prompted.

'Um... are you... are you asking me or are we just throwing ideas around?'

'I-'

Blaine was cut off by his phone making a noise. 'Sorry,' he muttered before pulling his phone from his pocket. He rolled his eyes as he read the text he'd received, but a smile was tugging at his lips as well.

'Let me guess, one of the Warblers?' I asked.

'Yep, David. Due to our relationship being official on facebook, he and Wes have been researching wedding venues in New York for us.'

'How thoughtful,' I laughed. 'I hope they're paying the costs as well.'

'They probably would do just so they can go to a gay wedding.'

'How on earth did you manage to survive Dalton without being brainwashed by them?'

'I don't know,' Blaine said, looking thoughtful. 'Maybe they _did_ brainwash me. Maybe I'm not really gay after all.'

'Noooo,' I whined. 'Don't say that.'

Blaine winked at me and then his phone beeped again. 'Oh and they've also written up a Warbler Birk song list. They're seriously mental.'

'It seems a shame their efforts are in vain,' I said with a nervous giggle, not looking Blaine in the eye. 'We only became boyfriends on facebook, nobody proposed.'

'Yeah but they're idiots,' Blaine said quietly and he put his phone back. 'So where were we?'

'The er... the last option,' I reminded him, trying to sound casual. Blaine smiled and his eyes shone mischievously. He reached over the table and took my hands in his. I swallowed thickly, was he about to officially ask me?

'Kurt, would you please move in with Joey and I? Another night without you beside me is just all kinds of wrong.'

Oh my god. Oh my god. I was squealing inside, actual squealing. _Keep cool Kurt, it's no biggie_. 'Hmm, I'll have to think about,' I mumbled with a smile and Blaine withdrew one of his hands to throw his napkin at me and we both laughed. 'Ok, ok, I'll move in with you. But-'

'But nothing Kurt. There doesn't need to be a but. Please let's leave the "but" out of this.'

I giggled at the pleading look in Blaine's face and squeezed his hand. 'I was just going to say that you have to let me help out... you know, with bills and stuff.'

'Ok,' Blaine replied although he looked as though he really wanted to argue the point. 'This is gonna be so great, I can't wait.'

'Neither can I. So can I redecorate the spare bedroom?'

'Sure,' Blaine said, looking a little confused. 'But what's wrong with it?'

'Well if it's going to be my bedroom I need to give it a "Kurt" makeover.'

Blaine's face dropped and he looked as though I'd smacked him really hard. He blinked a couple of times and then composed himself. It took all my efforts to stop myself bursting out laughing. Oh this was fun.

'Oh, I... I see. Um... well what did you have in mind?'

'I'm not sure.'

'Any colours, themes or-'

Blaine stopped as a laugh escaped me, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. 'Sorry I couldn't resist teasing you.'

'I hate you,' Blaine said, shaking his head.

'No you don't. You _looooove_ me.'

'So, we're taking the next step then?' Blaine smiled.

'Yeah,' I sighed happily. 'Are you happy?'

'Happy? That's an understatement, I'm so fucking-'

'Nacho starter for two?'

Our hands sprung apart and we both looked up to see the waitress standing there with our starter. 'Um, yeah thanks,' I said trying not to laugh. She put the plate down between us and walked off with a slight smile on her face. Blaine had his head in his hands.

'We need to stop having these conversations in restaurants,' he said.

'Agreed. Now... when am I moving in?'

'Whenever you want. But you do realise you'll have to tell your Dad first.'

'Fuck,' I groaned and Blaine laughed, clearly amused at my plight. 'What am I going to say?'

'The truth? Just tell him you're happy and you really want this.'

'What if he doesn't approve?'

'Kurt you're twenty five. He can't ground you and send you to your room forever.'

'Do you wanna bet?'

* * *

><p>'Dad, I'm moving in with Blaine and before you start saying it's too soon, or that I'm too young, it's something we both really want and we've discussed it at length. Anyway, we'll only be a few minutes drive away so you won't be able to get rid of me and I'll be here all the time anyway with Friday dinner and-'<p>

'Kurt?'

I stopped my rambling and turned to look at Carole who was sitting on the sofa and smiling at me. 'Yeah?'

'Stop stressing, your Dad is going to be fine with it.'

'You think so?'

'I know so. He's a father, of course it will be emotional to have his child fly the nest, but he loves you and just wants what's best for you.'

'Who wants what's best for you?'

I whipped around to see Dad walking through the doorway of the living room. 'Hey Dad… I didn't hear you come in.'

'Oh no,' he sighed, folding his arms over his chest.

'What?'

'Well whenever you say "Dad," like that you usually want something... like a ride somewhere, or a loan.'

'Please, I'm not that transparent,' I argued and he turned to walk out of the room. 'Oh, well um... actually there is something I need to tell you.'

'Let's hear it then?' Dad smiled, turning back to me.

'Ok, the thing is... um...'

'Come on kid, I haven't got all day,' Dad laughed.

'I'mmovinginwithBlaine.'

'Sorry what?'

'I'm... moving with, I mean in... w-with Blaine.'

'I see,' he nodded and then he looked over to Carole. 'Did you know about this?'

'He just told me,' she replied. 'I think it's a great idea.'

'Is this what you both want Kurt? He's not pressuring you to move too fas-'

'No, god no, it's definitely what we both want. I… I need to live with him. Please understand that.'

'Ok… well you've been seeing each other for a while now; I guess this is naturally the next step.'

'Yeah… it is.'

'I suppose one of you will be proposing next huh?' Dad asked and I rolled my eyes at him.

'I don't know about that.'

'This will always be your home though, you know that right?'

'Of course.'

'Don't ever feel as though you can't come back if things don't work out.'

'Thanks Dad.'

'I'm happy for you kid,' he smiled. 'But this doesn't mean you can get out of Friday night dinner.'

'Of course not,' I laughed.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'So where's Kirk tonight?' David asked as he handed me a beer he'd already bought before I turned up at the bar.

'Thanks... he's got a staff meeting thing on at work.'

'Meetings, urgh,' Wes grimaced.

'So you only said yes to coming out because Kirk was busy?' Jeff accused, narrowing his eyes at me.

'Well he is prettier than you lot. I'd totally ditch you guys in a heartbeat if he asked.'

'Charming,' Nick laughed.

'No offence. '

'None taken,' Nick said and then he turned to Jeff. 'Am I prettier than Kirk?'

'Of course you are babe, you're my little cuddle snuggle bear.'

'I feel sick,' David said, grimacing at Nick and Jeff.

'Yeah that was definitely a case of too much information,' I added.

'You two are _so_ gay,' Wes chipped in.

'Shut up you lot,' Nick laughed, putting an arm around Jeff's waist. 'You're just jealous of me and my gorgeous Jeffy Weffy.'

'I never want to hear the words Jeffy Weffy ever again,' David said.

'Yeah I second that,' I replied as Nick and Jeff just shrugged us off.

'So Blainey, tell us all about London,' Wes said. 'Did you meet the Queen?'

We spent the next hour talking about London, Dalton, and everything else in between. Then the subject of David looking for a new apartment came up so I thought I'd tell them the good news about Kurt and I. 'I asked Kurt to move in with me.'

'Congrats dude,' Jeff said, patting me on the back.

'Thanks, I'm really excited about it.'

Wes looked at me sympathetically. 'Did he say no?'

'Huh? Of course he didn't say no.'

'When's the big move?' David asked.

'In three days.'

'Moving is a pain in the arse, I guess you'd like some help… you know, with carrying boxes and stuff,' Jeff said.

'Well yeah, that would be really great Jeff, thanks.'

'Thanks for what?'

'Offering to help.'

'I didn't.'

'But you just said-'

'He was just being polite Blainers,' Nick said, looking at me as though I were crazy. 'We're going to a spa this weekend, aren't we Jeff?'

'Yeah, can't wait.'

'Right, never mind,' I said. 'I'm just going to the bathroom, back in a sec.'

I went to the bathroom giggling to myself. They really were a complete bunch of psychos but in the best way possible. When I returned I saw the four of them hunched together, talking in whispers. They broke apart quickly when they saw me and as I sat down, Wes turned to me looking serious.

'What's going on guys?' I asked.

'Blainey, the four of us have been thinking long and hard about this moving in business. To be honest, we were up half the night talking it through and-'

'Wait, I told you guys five minutes ago. What are you going on about?'

Wes looked to the other three and they all shared an exasperated look. 'Was that... is he being rude?'

'I think he is Wesley,' David agreed.

'Geez can't a guy finish a sentence without Rude McDapper here barging in,' Wes sighed.

'Blainey apologise to Wes,' Jeff ordered.

'What? But-'

'You're hurting his feelings now Blainey,' Nick said.

'Oh come on guys, stop messing around.'

'Say it,' David warned and I rolled my eyes.

'Ok. Sorry,' I said robotically. 'I was out of order... please continue.'

'See, that wasn't so bad,' Jeff said.

'You do appear to have a problem with admitting you're wrong Blainey,' Wes added.

'Yeah you should probably see a therapist about that,' David smirked and the four of them all laughed.

'Oh very funny, for that I'm not buying the next round. And I'm a Psychologist.'

'Details. Anyway back to business,' Wes said clapping his hands together. 'We have decided that you must have a Kirk moving in party.'

'Oh, I don't know guys,' I sighed.

'Jeff get some more drinks,' Nick said. 'If we get him drunk he'll agree to a party.'

'I'm not that predictable you know,' I shouted after Jeff as he went up to the bar.

* * *

><p><em>I knew I shouldn't have met up with them! No more meeting thingys! Bx<em>

_Oh no what's happened? I'm just clearing up my classroom and going home soon :) K x_

_I've agreed to a moving in party! Bx_

_Did they get you drunk? :) K x_

_Nooooo what makes you think that? So is it ok? I could always cancel and tell them we're moving to China or something :) Bx_

_Of course it's ok. It might be a good idea to keep the numbers down though, I quite like your apartment :P K x_

_I was thinking the same thinYih gfwwfYy JHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJKKJJJJJJ_

_Er Blaine? LOL :) K x_

_77777777777777777)c gnkkkkkkkkkk  
><em>_LIOL ggggggggg8888 DV:FDvbmj  
><em>_Sorry I've just been wrestling my phone off Wes and Jeff! Bx_

_OMG I'm laughing so hard now :) K x_

_Apparently it's 'rude' to text whilst your friends are discussing best Homer Simpson quotes. Bx_

_Oops I hope they didn't see the China text ;) K x_

_Maybe we SHOULD move to China and get away from them :) Bx_

_You love your friends Blaine; you wouldn't have it any other way! K x_

_Hmm I guess so. I love you more though so just say the word China and we're off! Bx_

_LOL! Well I've just got home. Can you believe that in three days we'll be official live-in boyfriends? K x_

_SO EXCITED :) Bx_


	24. Chapter 24

**_2013_**_: Hello again! If anyone still remembers this story you may be thinking 'WTF' to a new chapter suddenly appearing haha. This story is back in progress and there is an explanation as to why. Basically I got quite a few unpleasant messages after posting a chapter, I'm not really sure why. It does astound me why someone feels the need to PM an author to express their dislike of a story... weird! Anyway, the reason I decided to write a story with a heavy psychological aspect in the first place was because I have experience in the field, therefore I couldn't help but take the comments to heart and couldn't really look past them I'm ashamed to say. After a couple of weeks of not being able to write a thing I decided I should just stop. Luckily the last chapter had a sort-of suitable ending so listed the story as complete. But then a few weeks ago I started sessions with a therapist and it got me completely thinking about the story again and I decided I want to finish it how I had planned rather than leaving it unfinished after the amount of work I've put into it. I had several more chapters drafted out and have been working on it again recently. Funny thing is I couldn't remember the email address I used to log in to haha! I contacted the website but they never replied (grrr) so luckily after 2 weeks I finally got it right (phew). I want to say a huge sorry to everyone and thank you if you decide to carry on reading and thank you to anyone who is new to the story and made it this far. Welcome back to Kurt and Dr Anderson... :)_

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

It was Friday night so of course we'd just had dinner at the Hummel household. There was some big sports game thing (whatever right?) on the tv so Dad and Kip had dragged Blaine into the living room to watch it, he protested at first, seeking my approval, but the big smile on his face proved to me he did actually want to go. Joey followed after them, getting up from where he'd been curled up on a chair after being given food by everyone around the table; apparently none of us were capable of saying no. So with them gone, it left me with Carole in the dining room. She got up from her seat and settled herself on the chair vacated by Blaine.

'So... it's moving day tomorrow,' she smiled at me.

'Yeah,' I replied shyly.

'Not having any second thoughts are you?'

I shook my head. 'No, none at all. I know it's pathetic but whenever Blaine makes his way home, I want it to be me he's coming back to, not an empty apartment.'

'That's not pathetic,' Carole said. 'You're in love Kurt, it's perfectly normal to feel that way about him.'

'I guess.'

'And Blaine is such an amazing guy. I was the same as you before Burt and I made that step. We wanted to come home to one another, not separate homes and just make do with phone calls late at night and the odd sleepover with a spare toothbrush.'

'So you've liked living with Dad then?'

'I love it.'

'What about his bad habits?' I asked with a smirk.

'Well, I'm a great teacher and he has got better over the years.'

'True.'

'What fascinates me is how men can be so unorganised and messy, yet their cars get one splash of dirt on them and they're racing to get to a car wash.'

'Well fortunately for me Blaine is also a neat freak. His apartment is lovely.'

'You'll be living in blissful harmony together,' Carole smiled.

My phone made a noise, signalling a text message has been received. I pulled it out of my pocket and smiled down to see it was from Sam _Good luck for the move tomorrow. So happy for you and Blaine and can't wait to finally meet him properly next week x_

'Is Blaine texting you from the living room?' Carole asked.

'No,' I laughed. 'It was Sam. He was wishing me luck for tomorrow.'

'That's nice,' Carole said, and I quickly sent a reply back, not wanting to seem to rude. _Thank you! I'm so excited, and really looking forward to our dinner next week and meeting Craig of course :) K x__  
><em>  
>I put my phone away and then Blaine appeared at the doorway, a beer in his hand and a big happy smile on his face. It was so heart-warming to have him completely at ease in my family home; hanging out with the people I cared most about, and actually enjoying it. Unless he was a very good actor. 'You guys ok?'<p>

'We're fine,' Carole told him, doing a shooing motion with her hand.

'Yeah, get back to the boys, we're talking about you,' I said and we all laughed. Blaine winked at me and disappeared again.

'Would you like some chocolate cake?' Carole asked me. 'We should get our share before those boys get their hands on it.'

'Especially Blaine,' I laughed. 'He doesn't know when to stop when it comes to cake.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'Well that's the last box,' Burt said, putting it down on the coffee table. He shoved his hands into his pockets and then looked around the room. 'You've got a real nice apartment here Blaine, and in a nice neighbourhood. You've done good.'

'Thanks,' I replied. 'An inheritance from my late grandparents helped to pay for most of it so I was incredibly lucky.'

'And now you're going to let my son loose on it?' Burt asked with a smirk.

'Hey,' Kurt protested as Burt and I laughed. He folded his arms across his chest and gave us both a deadly look. 'I'm not going to ruin the apartment, I'm going to improve it. There's a big difference you know.'

'As long as you don't start painting the walls pink you have free reign to do what you like,' I warned him.

Burt chuckled and looked warmly at his son. 'When Kurt was four he wanted me to paint his room pink, with a pink ceiling and a pink carpet.'

'Oh my god,' Kurt groaned, putting his head in his hands, 'I can't believe you just told Blaine that.'

'You were only four,' Burt repeated. 'That would only be embarrassing if you put a two in front of it.'

'Aww that's so sweet,' I replied as Kurt shot daggers at his Dad. 'So you had no idea Kurt was gay then Burt?'

Burt laughed loudly and Kurt looked as though he'd quite like to murder us both. Although looking far from impressed, I knew Kurt wouldn't mind the jesting too much. After all he loved his Dad to bits and I'd never met a more devoted father than Burt Hummel. We'd both been lucky in the coming out to your parents thing. It was horrible to think what some kids went through. Hopefully one day being gay wouldn't be an issue.

'Anyway, thanks for helping with the move,' Kurt said, changing the subject quickly.

'Don't mention it son... you do have an awful lot of clothes though. Does one person really need thirty different coloured belts?'

'I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer,' Kurt replied and Burt laughed.

'Burt, we're having a little get together, an idea from my Warbler friends. They wanted a Kirk moving in party, will you come?'

'Kirk?' he said, frowning at my pronunciation of Kurt.

'It's a long story Dad, don't ask,' Kurt explained.

'Oh. Well sure, Carole and I would love to come. When is it?'

'In two weeks, we wanted to give people enough notice,' I told him. Burt nodded and then looked around at all of the boxes containing Kurt's belongings. He sighed.

'I guess my little boy really has moved out.'

'Daaad,' Kurt said quietly and I could see him welling up a bit.

'You two will be announcing a wedding next.'

'Blaine couldn't afford my expensive taste in wedding rings,' Kurt joked and we all laughed. But in all honesty money was no object for me when it came to Kurt, anything to see him happy and put a smile on his face.

'You know the correct protocol right?' Burt asked me, rendering me completely clueless.

'Um, sorry?'

'If you want to propose to Kurt, me and you need to have a chat first.'

'Oh,' I laughed nervously, feeling my cheeks warming up.

Kurt sighed. 'Dad leave him alone. Maybe I'll be the one to propose to Blaine one day.'

'Then you'll need to speak to Blaine's parents.'

Kurt laughed. 'You do know it's the twenty first century, not the nineteenth.'

Burt shook his head and mumbled, 'Kids these days.'

'Did you ask Carole's father before you proposed?' Kurt asked his Dad.

'I sure did,' Burt said proudly. Then he walked over to me and held his hand out. 'Take care of him for me.'

'I will, I promise,' I replied, shaking it. Then Burt looked back to Kurt.

'Right I better leave you to it before things get too emotional and we blubber like babies... I'll see you on Friday for dinner?'

'We'll be there,' Kurt said.

Kurt walked his Dad to the door. When he came back into the living room I could see tears in his eyes.

'Come here,' I said, opening my arms wide. Kurt gave me a small smile and stepped into my embrace. It was a few minutes until we parted.

'You give the best hugs,' Kurt smiled. 'I could literally live in your arms all day long.'

'I have no objections to that,' I replied. I lifted my hands up to Kurt's neck and kissed him.

'So... you invited my parents to the party?' Kurt asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

'I figured it would reduce the possibility of damage. The Dalton boys will behave if there's adults present.'

'But they are adults,' Kurt said without thinking and we both laughed. 'Yeah I see your point, good thinking.'

I rubbed my hands together and grinned at Kurt with excitement. 'Right, celebration time. Let's open the champagne.'

'Oooh champagne, I think I'm gonna like living with you.'

I gave Kurt a quick kiss on the lips and then went to the kitchen to get the champagne and two glasses. There was a warm and pleasant feeling in my tummy, it was happiness. This was our life now. Me and Kurt. Together. Going back to the living room I joined Kurt who had settled on the sofa and poured us each a glass of champagne.

'To us,' I said holding out a glass to Kurt.

'To us,' Kurt echoed and we clinked our glasses before taking a sip and making ourselves more comfortable, one of Kurt's legs draped over my lap.

'So, how are you feeling?' I asked. 'Honestly?'

Kurt smiled and bit down on his bottom lip as he thought over the question. 'Um, the short answer is fine.'

'And the long answer?'

'Happy, sad, excited, nervous... I've relied on my Dad and Carole for so many years it just feels weird that I'll no longer be living with them... but I'm so happy to be here with you.'

'Good. But if you ever feel you need some time out and want to go back for a night, or a few days, I'll totally understand.'

'That's not going to happen, but thank you for saying it.'

'Do you think your Dad hates me?'

Kurt thought for a moment. 'No, I think he genuinely really likes you. It probably surprises him as he was no doubt geared up to hate anyone I dated. But it's impossible not to love you Blaine.'

'Have I lured you into my web of love?'

'Yep,' Kurt giggled.

'Well good, anything to keep you with me.'

Just then Joey jumped up and settled himself down on the other side Kurt. 'Hello Joey, who's my gorgeous boy?'

I laughed as Kurt stroked Joey and they looked at each other with pure love and devotion. 'I can't believe my dog prefers you to me.'

Kurt turned to me with a smirk. 'Jealous are we Anderson?'

'Very,' I said and then I took Kurt's free hand in mine. 'So how shall we spend our first night as a co habiting couple? DVD? Dinner out?'

'I've got a suggestion,' Kurt smiled.

'Ok.'

'I want to give myself to you,' he whispered, cheeks colouring slightly. It took a few seconds for my brain to fully compute what he was saying.

'W-what?'

Kurt scooted closer to me, much to the annoyance of Joey. 'Blaine, I want to have sex... and I want you to top this time.'

'Oh I don't think that's a good id-'

Kurt's hand suddenly covered my mouth, silencing me. His eyes were full of pleading and determination. 'Please don't just automatically dismiss this. I'm not saying this on a whim and I'm not drunk.'

I nodded and Kurt removed his hand. My heart was racing and I didn't really know how to respond. 'Kurt... um...'

'Blaine, please. I'm ready, really I am.'

I wanted to, god I wanted to so much. I've played it out in my mind so many times, Kurt beneath me, willing and wanting. I longed to see the lust, passion, desire and love in his eyes as I take him and claim him as mine. But was he really ready for this? It was one thing to be the one in control but the one _being_ controlled? Hmm. I really didn't know what to do for the best.

'I want to, I really do,' I said and Kurt just looked at me, waiting for the negativity he just knew was coming next. 'I'm just not convinced we're completely ready for this. I don't want us to jump the gun.'

Kurt sighed impatiently. He pulled his hand away from me and stared into space, his brow furrowed in thought. I left him for a couple of minutes before whispering his name. 'Kurt?'

'You're wrong Blaine,' he said quietly. 'We are ready. I just really wish you didn't see me as a project sometimes.'

I grabbed Kurt's hand back quite forcibly and he looked back at me, startled. 'I don't see you as a project. Jesus Kurt, please don't think that.'

'That's how it feels.'

'Kurt, I say these things as your boyfriend who knows what you've been through and doesn't want to cause you any pain or hurt. I want to protect you Kurt, I can't help that.'

'But Blaine, you can't just keep me wrapped up in cotton wool all the time. I'm fully able to make my own decisions.'

I was torn, completely and utterly torn. 'I know you are. I just think there's steps we can take before-'

'I want you to feel how I felt in London, when... when we were together and I was inside you. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. And the way you looked when I was... I want to experience that Blaine. I want you to make _me_ feel like that.'

I couldn't believe what I was about to say, I was either being brave or stupid. 'Are you really sure this is what you want?'

'Yes.'

'Ok.'

'Yeah?'

I nodded, trying to ignore the slightly uneasy feeling in my stomach. Maybe it was just nerves? Kurt beamed at me, then he launched himself on top of me and claimed my lips in a hungry, passionate kiss.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

'Mmm pizza,' Blaine mumbled between slices, making me laugh. It was ten o'clock at night and we'd had an evening of movies and fast food. It was pure domestic heaven and I lived every minute of it.

'You're such a child sometimes.'

Blaine smiled at me. 'I'm adorable though right?'

'Yes you are,' I agreed with a roll of my eyes. 'You know, as much as you complain about your Dalton friends, I reckon you're just a silly as them.'

'Oi,' Blaine protested and he threw a cushion at me. 'I've never been so insulted in all my life.'

If it wasn't for the fact he was trying hard not to laugh I may have been worried that I really had insulted Blaine. I wondered if he acted like this when he was with Mark or whether it was me that brought out the fun side in him. I liked to think it was the latter (obviously). 'You know, I can't believe this is my home now.'

'Are you ok?' Blaine asked, sounding slightly panicked all of a sudden and back to serious Blaine mode.

'Fine,' I smiled. 'More than fine. I just never knew it was possible to feel this happy.'

'Well that's all that matters to me Kurt, your happiness.'

'And what about yours?'

'I have you, a great job, my family, wonderful friends... I've never been happier.'

'Really?'

'Uh huh.'

I shifted closer to Blaine on the sofa and tucked a loose curl behind one of his ears. I loved how Blaine didn't wear gel that much anymore when it was just the two of us. He was so awkward the first time he showed me and now he loved it when I ran my hands through it. I looked into his eyes and leaned forwards, claiming his lips with my own. He kissed back and I could feel him smiling against my mouth. He literally was my everything.

'Take me,' I whispered when we broke apart several minutes later.

Blaine was breathing deeply and looked straight into my eyes as he said, 'With pleasure.'

My whole body reacted to that one little sentence and the sheer look of lust that was in Blaine's eyes. Oh god I needed him so badly. I stood up from the sofa and held my hand out to Blaine, smiling at him. Then with excitement and butterflies in my tummy, I led him to our bedroom.

* * *

><p>We were on Blaine's bed, no our bed (how amazing was that?) still fully clothed and lying on our sides facing each other. Blaine's fingers were playing with my hair. Such a small and simple gesture felt so nice and comforting. I knew I'd be asleep within seconds if I closed my eyes.<p>

'You're smiling,' Blaine said.

'Shouldn't I be?'

'I just love it when you smile. You're look so content and beautiful.'

'Oh so I'm ugly when I'm not smiling huh?'

Blaine laughed and kissed me. 'Oi don't put words into my mouth.'

'Just my dick?' I flirted, raising an eyebrow.

Blaine turned bright red and buried his face into a pillow. How did I manage to end up with the most adorable person on the planet? 'Oh my god, I walked right into that one didn't I?' his muffled voice said.

'Pretty much.'

Blaine looked back at me and I instantly pressed our lips together, much to his surprise. But he quickly got on board, his hands grabbing the sides of my face and deepening the kiss. After several minutes I climbed on top of him, straddling him, as I pulled up his t-shirt, exposing part of his stomach. He didn't go to the gym, but his active lifestyle still left Blaine with a great body. Not that I was with him for his body or anything, it was just a nice bonus right?

I whined into the kiss as I struggled to remove the t-shirt altogether, which was impossible without detaching our lips completely. Blaine started laughing and moved us both so we were upright and I was sitting in his lap. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it on the floor before looking at me with a playful smirk.

'Better?' he asked.

'Loads,' I smiled.

Blaine's hands started undoing the buttons on my shirt. When he was done he deliberated over what to do for a moment but then moved his hands away. 'I'd rip it off in a moment of passion but I don't want to get in your bad books.'

'You're a very wise man Blaine,' I laughed. I took my shirt off by myself and carefully leaned over the bed to put it neatly on a chair. 'Now where were we?'

Blaine's lips met mine in a hungry and needy embrace. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and just let the feelings overtake me. I was already hard beneath my pants and was desperate to get them off, deciding there was far too much clothing still attached to us. I pulled out of the kiss after a couple of minutes and laughed as Blaine pouted and tried to reconnect our lips but I put my hand up. 'Pants. Off. Now.'

We both quickly scrambled off the bed and removed our pants and underwear. I blushed as I saw Blaine was just as hard as me. When I got back onto the bed Blaine flipped me onto my back and straddled me, his hands resting on the mattress either side of my head and smiling down. It felt so intimate to be lying here with Blaine, completely naked and yearning for passion. Yet it was still surrounded by love. Whether we were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop or doing this it was all because we loved each other. Oh fuck, now I was feeling emotional and my eyes were watering.

'Hey,' he said softly.

'Hey.'

'Are you feeling ok?'

'Yeah, never better,' I smiled. 'Just feeling overwhelmed with happiness.'

'Happy tears, good. I like happy tears.'

I laughed and Blaine brushed his thumb under one of my eyes which a tear had escaped from. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

Blaine leaned down and instead of going back to the kissing like I thought he would, he attached his mouth to my neck. Oh _god_ that felt amazing. Blaine giggled slightly as I moved my head to give him better access and let out a moan of pleasure. 'Mmm Blaine.'

'I'm gonna make you feel so good,' Blaine whispered into my ear, causing me to shiver with desire and anticipation at what was coming, literally.

'You better,' I responded as he went back to what he was doing. His soft curls were brushing against my cheek and my jaw was starting to ache from so much smiling.

Blaine shifted his body slightly and I felt his hard cock press into my thigh. Oh jesus, in no time at all it was going to be inside me, filling me up, and my heart rate was increasing just at the thought of it. I could feel Karofsky's fingers digging painfully into my skin...

'_You've been begging for this haven't you fairy boy?_'

...Karofsky's weight crushing down onto my body...

'_You were just asking for it weren't you?_'

...Karofsky's mouth covering mine and the nauseous feeling rising up from my stomach...

'_This'll teach you for being a filthy little queer._'

...Karofsky's hand reaching down between my...

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

I felt Kurt tense a little beneath me and stopped to look at him. He had his eyes closed and was biting down slightly on his bottom lip. Maybe I'd just caught his skin with my teeth or something? I returned to my position, kissing his neck just below his ear which seemed to be his most sensitive spot and brought my hand up to stroke his cheek but then-

'Get off me,' Kurt whispered.

I paused and then felt Kurt trying to move so I sat up. Before I even had the chance to ask what was wrong he was off the bed and gone. I stayed where I was for a moment, confused, then followed Kurt's movements out into the hallway. Straight away I could hear him throwing up in the bathroom and my heart sank.

'Fuck.'

I ran a hand through my hair, panicking and wondering what to do. I was relieved to see that the bathroom door was still open and Kurt hadn't locked himself in. I went back into the bedroom and quickly put my pants and t-shirt on. Then I picked the duvet up and made my way to the bathroom, stopping in the doorway.

'Kurt?' I said softly but he didn't reply.

He was sitting with his back against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest, staring wide eyed and shivering. I fought back the urge to just break down and cry as I went over to him. I knelt down and careful not to touch him with my own skin, I wrapped the duvet around him. For a moment he shivered more violently until his body became accustomed to the warmth of the duvet.

'You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you.'

He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, burying his face in the fabric of the duvet. I wanted to touch him so badly, to run my fingers through his hair or to hold his hand, but right now I had no clue what to do for the best or what he would be comfortable with so I was just airing on the side of caution.

'Kurt you're gonna be ok,' I told him, not really knowing whether my words were comforting at all to him, but it was at least worth a try. 'I'm right here.'

He didn't reply but I could hear his breathing was quite erratic. For a few minutes we just sat there in silence, and Kurt's breathing eventually returned to normal. Out of the blue he said, 'Why?'

'Sorry?'

'Why?' Kurt repeated.

'What do you mean?'

'I was ready, I... I don't understand.'

'Kurt... do you want to tell me what happened?'

'I... I can't,' he whispered.

'Can't or won't? Please don't shut me out. Whatever it is you can tell me.'

Kurt sighed and moved one of his arms from under the duvet so he could scratch at his neck nervously. 'Him... I could see and hear him.'

All of a sudden I felt physically sick. I closed my eyes, praying the nausea would past and that I definitely wouldn't start vomiting myself. That was all Kurt needed. I had to be strong. 'Oh Kurt.'

I opened my eyes once I'd calmed down a little and slowly offered my hand to him. I felt a little relieved when he actually took it. Despite the horrible situation I was so proud that Kurt no longer pushed me away like he used to.


	25. Chapter 25

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

'Why did this have to happen Blaine? We didn't even get very far and I just fucking freaked out like a-'

'Hey, listen to me... don't do that.'

'Why Blaine?'

'I'm so sorry Kurt... and I wish I could tell you why, but I don't have the answer.'

Kurt laughed without any trace of humour. 'You always have the answer though. You're supposed to have all the right words at the right time.'

'Not always. But I think... maybe...'

'What? Don't spare my feelings; just say what you're thinking.'

'We weren't ready,' I said quietly. 'We got ahead of ourselves.'

'No, you mean I wasn't ready. This is _my_ problem Blaine, not yours. I just don't understand it. Everything was coming together. I'm a proper teacher now, I was off the anti-depressants, we moved in toge-'

'Wait, I thought you were still on the medication?' I interrupted.

'No, I stopped taking them,' Kurt said quietly.

'Oh. Why?'

'Because I was happy... I didn't need them anymore.'

'It doesn't always work like that. Did you at least stop them gradually?'

Kurt shook his head. I wasn't going to pursue it now and it really wasn't the right time considering what Kurt was going through. He started to cry softly and I shifted closer, putting an arm around him and was pleased when he moved himself into my embrace and rested his head on my chest. I kissed the top of his head.

'It's going to be ok.'

'I'm s-sorry.'

'No Kurt you have nothing to be sorry about.'

'I wanted to b-be perfect for you.'

I had to choke back a sob. 'You are perfect to me. You always have been. How I feel about you… I've never felt that way before. I was waiting for you Kurt, just waiting for you to turn up in my life, because you're it for me. I mean, it's a bit of a cheek you've made my dog love you more, but I guess I can live with that.'

Kurt laughed and snuggled in closer to me. 'Thank you.'

'What for?'

'For being you. For always… just being there.'

'I'll always be here Kurt. I'm not going anywhere.'

I wasn't sure how long we were there but we sat in comfortable silence until Kurt started yawning. 'Tired?'

Yeah,' Kurt said sleepily.

'Do you want to go home?' I asked, even though technically my apartment was home for Kurt. But I wanted to give him the choice. If going back to his Dad's for the night was better for him then I was fine with that. But he shook his head, signalling no. Just then, Joey padded into the bathroom and sat in front of Kurt, his head tilted to the side slightly as though he knew something was wrong. Kurt sat up and I immediately felt a loss without him in my arms. His face softened as he smiled at Joey. An idea suddenly occurred to me.

'Would you like to sleep in the spare room with Joey?'

Kurt turned to look at me for a moment before looking back at Joey. 'Would that be ok?' he asked quietly.

'Of course.'

I stood up and Kurt began to remove the duvet from him, but I stopped him, helping him up to his feet instead with it still wrapped tightly around him. After all, he the one with no clothes on. 'No keep the duvet, I'll take the one from the spare room.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah,' I smiled.

I picked Joey up and he yapped at me, wriggling about to be freed to go back to Kurt. I walked out of the bathroom, putting Joey down at the doorway of the spare room. Then I went and gathered up Kurt's clothes and his nightwear from my room and returned to find Kurt standing by what would his bed for the night. I put his things on the bedside table before lifting off the duvet from the bed.

'Is there anything else you need?' I asked and immediately cursed myself for sounding so formal and stupid.

'No, I'm set,' Kurt replied as Joey jumped up onto the bed and looked at him expectantly. I rolled my eyes and Kurt smiled.

'I'm just across the hall,' I said to Kurt. 'Come and wake me at any time ok?'

'Ok, night Blaine.'

'Night.'

I went back into my room, threw the duvet down and sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. How could I let this happen? It was partly my fault. I should have insisted we wait, talked about it more, built up to it in stages. But my stupid hormones got in the way, of course I was desperate to have sex with Kurt, to make him feel completely and utterly loved, pleasured and wanting to do it all again as soon as it was over. But deep down I had a feeling Kurt probably wasn't completely ready for that. I'm a fucking psychologist for christ sake, why didn't I go with my head? I was such an idiot, things had been going great between us. Better than great in fact. I can see how Kurt thought we were invincible, he'd made love to me and although that was a major step, being top was completely different to being a bottom.

I turned the bedside lamp off which plunged the room into darkness and laid down. I felt my eyes begin to water and ended up crying myself to sleep, not for myself but for Kurt.

* * *

><p>I woke up, hearing sounds coming from the hallway as I'd left my door wide open before going to sleep. It was still dark outside the window and I looked at my glowing green alarm clock on the bedside table which said 06:03. I got out of bed and rubbed at my eyes before going out into the lit hallway. Kurt was by the front door, bent down and attaching a lead to an excitable Joey.<p>

'Hey,' I said and Kurt's head snapped up to look at me. He looked disappointed at being caught.

Kurt stood up and cleared his throat. 'Hi... sorry did I wake you?'

'It's ok,' I smiled. 'What's going on?'

'I'm just taking Joey for a walk.'

'But it's six in the morning.'

Kurt shrugged. 'I know but... I couldn't sleep.'

'Well I'm up now; shall I make us some coffee? We can-'

'Blaine, I really want to take Joey out.'

'Can't it wait?'

'No.'

'Ok, well give me a minute to get dressed and I'll come with you.'

I was about to turn back to the bedroom when Kurt said, 'I want to go alone.'

After what happened last night I didn't really want to be apart from Kurt, but maybe a walk would be good for him? 'Right. Um... I'll make us breakfast then, for about seven?'

Kurt looked to the floor briefly before answering. 'No thanks, I don't know if I'll be back by then.'

'I see,' I replied, not really seeing at all. 'Well I'll make you something that will keep for a bit longer then, so when you get back it-'

'Blaine just stop.'

Kurt was looking at me as though I was an incredibly annoying toddler or something. What had I said that irritated him so much? 'Stop what?'

Kurt sighed. 'Talking. Just stop talking.'

'Oh... sorry.' It wasn't like Kurt to be this abrupt and he was worrying me. So I couldn't help myself when he reached for the front door handle. 'Kurt please, just stay here and-'

'Let me go Blaine,' Kurt shouted and with authority in his voice. I was a little taken aback and it was clear Kurt wasn't in the mood for the gentle approach. He just wanted to get out. But he seemed ok when we both went to sleep last night, I guess lying awake with only his thoughts for company he'd built up all the old insecurities again. 'I need to clear my head, please don't argue with me.'

'I'm sorry,' I said, trying to give him a warm smile. 'I'll see you in a bit then?'

'Yeah.'

Kurt turned away from me and left the apartment with Joey. I was left with complete silence. I didn't know what to do with myself and I was too awake to go back to sleep. So I went to make a coffee and just wait for Kurt to get back, we needed another talk.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>_  
><em>  
>I lost track of time. Without a watch or my phone on me I had no idea how much time had been passing, so when I got back to the apartment and Blaine was opening the front door a millisecond after my key had gone in the lock, I knew it had been a while. Two or three hour's maybe?<p>

Blaine was stood there, his hair wild and curly, looking both stressed and relieved at seeing me in one piece. But I wasn't a child; I could go wherever I pleased. I stepped inside and unclipped Joey's lead and he ran off down the hallway.

'Jesus Kurt, where have you been?' Blaine asked shortly as I closed the door behind me. Was he serious?

'I took Joey out, you know that... or where you sleep walking this morning?'

'But you went out six hours ago.'

Really? Six hours? Shit. I didn't really know what to say. 'Oh I didn't realise,' I mumbled.

'What were you doing all this time?'

'Nothing,' I shrugged childishly. 'We went for a walk... then to the park.'

I went down the hallway and into the kitchen, suddenly desperate for a coffee. Of course Blaine followed me in there. 'Kurt don't just walk away from me when we're discussing something.'

I turned to face Blaine and crossed my arms over my chest. 'I thought we'd finished. I took Joey out, end of story.'

'Don't you get it? I was worried sick about you.'

'Why?'

'You're asking why? Really?' Blaine shook his head and sat down at the kitchen table looking completely drained.

'I don't understand why you're being so... weird.'

Blaine looked up at me, anger clear on his face now. 'So I'm not allowed to care, is that it? Do my feelings not count for anything?'

I laughed and threw my hands up in the air. 'Why are you making this into an issue Blaine? I went out for a bit, so fucking what.'

'Yes you went out; I'm not begrudging you that. But Kurt last night you... you... and then you leave the apartment at six in the morning and there's no word from you for hours and-'

'What? Did you think I was gonna try and kill myself or something?'

Blaine's face immediately softened at my words and he stood up and came nearer to me. 'No of course not... I just...'

'Oh my god, you... you thought I might have done something stupid don't you?'

'No,' he replied, shaking his head. 'It's just, after what happened last night you can't blame me for being concerned and-'

'I'm not a fucking textbook or some god damn case study,' I shouted. 'I'm a human being.'

'Calm down,' Blaine said softly, which just seemed to grate on my nerves even more. He was using his 'therapist' voice and it pissed me right off.

'Don't tell me to calm down.'

'Look, why don't I make us both a coffee and then we can talk about-'

'No, just leave me alone Blaine.'

I rushed out of the kitchen and to the spare room, Blaine hot on my heels. I turned at the doorway and looked at him. 'What?'

'Kurt please, don't just shut me out and-'

'You know, talking isn't the solution to everything,' I said and closed the door on Blaine.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

It was Monday lunchtime and I was sitting at the desk in my office, eating a homemade sandwich and the weekend's events going round and round in my head now I didn't have a client to focus my attention on for the next hour. Monday's were crap anyway, but this one just took the biscuit. Kurt and I had barely spoken a word to each other for the rest of Sunday and he slept in the spare room again overnight. A couple of times I tried to approach him to talk but he completely bit my head off.

I hated that he was shutting me out. But at least he hadn't run back to Burt and Carole, that was something at least. I did cross my mind that after our argument on Sunday he would just pack a bag straightaway and leave so I was pleased he didn't, not to mention I'd probably have Burt on my doorstep demanding to know what I'd done.

I guess I just needed to give Kurt the time and space he wanted to process what had happened and once we sat down and had a proper talk about everything he would feel a lot better and we could move on.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. I smiled as I saw the display saying my friend Simon was calling. We hadn't spoken for a couple of weeks. 'Hey Simon.'

'I'm in love Blaine.'

I laughed out loud for the first time since Saturday and it felt really good. 'Ok.'

'What's so funny B?'

'You need to ask?'

'Er, yeah.'

'You fall in love about three times a week, it's hardly headline news.'

'Are you calling me a whore?' he asked, not sounding at all offended by my insinuation.

'Yeah I am sweetheart.'

Simon laughed. 'Fair point. But seriously, this time it's different.'

'Sure,' I replied sarcastically,

'I think he might be the one.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah. Oh god, you should see him Blaine. He's _so_ fucking hot.'

I shook my head and rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. Simon's conquest stories were always highly amusing. He never said anything good about their personalities, just a review of their bodies. 'Well text me a picture of him and I'll give you my verdict.'

'Hmm... a naked one or a clothed one?'

'Oh my god, _clothed_.' I don't know how I would explain a photo of a naked stranger on my phone to Kurt. There was no way I was going to risk that.

'Are you sure?' Simon asked.

'Definitely. Keep it PG.'

'You'll be missing out; he's got this line of hair that-'

'So where did you find this one then?' I asked, interrupting him.

'He came to my work place to give a talk on some environmental shit.'

'Well you certainly paid attention to the subject matter.'

'We basically eye fucked through the whole presentation. Then I stayed behind and gave him my business card. He's perfect, great abs, cute bum and his dick was so-'

'Ok I've heard enough,' I said loudly. 'I'm very happy for you.'

'Talking of dick, when are you going to let me meet this man of yours? I promise I won't bite, unless you're both up for a threesome.'

'Eww, I'm in the middle of eating my lunch Simon.'

'Oh stop being such a prude. So when can I meet him? We could catch up over drinks one night this week if you fancy?'

I was tempted and it was a really nice idea but with things the way they were at the moment there was no way I could make concrete plans, and Simon was a little full on for the average person, let alone Kurt. 'I'd love to Si but we're a bit busy at the moment, he's just moved in over the weekend so lots of unpacking and stuff going on.'

'Jesus, you don't hang around. Ship one out and ship one in.'

'We've been together a few months, it wasn't a rash decision,' I said a little defensively.

'I'm just kidding with you.'

'Sorry, I just... well Kurt's it for me and I get a bit touchy.'

'You're seriously adorable Blaine. Honestly, I'm happy for you man.'

'Thanks. Actually I was going to call you this week anyway and invite you to our moving in party Saturday after next?'

'Awesome, I am so there. Oh guess who I bumped into over the weekend?'

'Um... I don't know... that Professor you slept with in college?'

'No... although I wonder what he's up to these days...'

'Probably still married to his wife,' I suggested and Simon laughed. At the time my twenty year old self had been horrified by Simon having sex with a thirty-something married man but we could laugh about it now.

'Oh my god Blaine, it was like sleeping with a horny sixteen year old.'

'You know, the details aren't necessary.'

'Sorry. Anyway, I bumped into Mark. He asked about you.'

I sighed. 'Did he now?'

'Yeah. I told him I don't get to see you much because you're too busy fucking Kirk and taking him on vacation for foreign sexy times. He went green with envy.'

'You're sweet,' I laughed.

'Well I better go but text me the time of the party yeah?'

'Of course, see you soon.'

As I tidied up my desk and my office in preparation for my next client a thought suddenly struck me. The big question was, would there still be a moving in party? Not to mention the dinner date we were supposed to be having this Friday with Kurt's friend Sam and his boyfriend Craig.

Kurt had gone on the defensive, was refusing to talk to me about anything of importance and I was seriously starting to wonder whether this was something that could be resolved quickly. I groaned as I slumped back into my chair. I just wish I could rewind the clock back two days and prevent all this shit from happening.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I walked into the staff room at lunchtime to find Lucy sitting at the table browsing the web on her iPad. Out of all the other teachers she was the one I'd grown closest to since I started. She looked up and smiled at me. 'Hey Kurt.'

'Hi,' I replied and joined her with my sandwich I'd bought on the way to work.

'How was the big move this weekend?' she asked, turning her iPad off and giving me her full attention.

'Yeah really good,' I said, giving her my best fake smile. 'Still quite a bit of unpacking to do though.'

'I remember when Greg and I first moved in together.'

'Was it smooth transition?'

'Yeah, but it was a long time coming. We spent four years of college being a five hour ride away from each other.'

'Wow that must have been hard.'

Lucy nodded. 'It was and it probably could have gone either way, but we got there in the end. Did you have a boyfriend when you were at college?'

'Um no... not really,' I said vaguely. 'I'm really glad I met Blaine afterwards, I don't think I could bear to be too far away from him.'

'Aww,' Lucy smiled and I felt myself blushing. 'And now you're blushing. You know, from everything you've said about Blaine he sounds like an amazing guy.'

I had to swallow a lump that had formed in my throat. 'Yeah he is.'

'You should invite him on the next staff night out; I'd love to meet him.'

'Yeah I might do that.'

As I made my way back to my classroom at the end of lunchtime, I checked my phone before going in. There were no voicemails, missed calls or even text messages received. I sighed in disappointment. I didn't really expect Blaine to have tried to contact me today; after all we weren't really speaking. But a part of me kind of wanted him to even if it was just to say we'd run out of milk or something equally trivial. But nothing.

I'd been finding it near impossible to concentrate today with what happened over the weekend constantly going round and round my head. I didn't know what to do and I just felt utterly humiliated by the whole thing. I pushed Blaine and disregarded his concerns and it all blew up in my face.

The fact was I was never going to be free of _him_. Never. I thought it was finished with and that my life was my own again but I'd been completely wrong and stupid. I know Blaine and I had gone over it time and time again but I honestly believed that Blaine deserved better. He deserved someone who could experience one of life's most natural and intimate experiences without having to worry whether it'll just make everything ten times worse.

When I got back to the apartment just after four in the afternoon I went straight into our bedroom and smiled as I saw Blaine had made the bed before leaving for work this morning. I sat down on Blaine's side and then laid my head down on his pillow. It smelled like him and I grinned like an idiot. It was an incredibly comforting feeling.

My phone went off in my pocket and I sat up quickly to get it. It was from Blaine and I may have got just a little bit excited. _I'm going to be home late, emergency with work._

My heart dropped. Where was the x? Why was the text so formal? It screamed avoidance to me; Blaine didn't want to come home. He didn't want to see me. Dropping my phone down onto the bed I abandoned it and then left the room. I immediately opened a bottle of wine and settled in front of the tv to watch trashy reality telly and just forget about everything.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

It was almost nine by the time I pulled up outside my apartment block. Kurt hadn't replied to my text telling him I would be late or the subsequent texts I sent either. So I didn't know what I was going to find or how he was going to be. Would Kurt be ready to talk? Would he still be pushing me away? Would he be pretending nothing had happened? Would he even be there?

I felt nervous as I put my key into the lock and went into the apartment. Straight away I could hear the tv and relief washed over me. I took my coat off and dumped it along with my bag into the bedroom but as I was about to go back out I spotted Kurt's phone. I picked it up and it transpired he'd read my first text but not the following ones.

I carried on to the living room and what I found wasn't a possibility I'd factored in. Kurt was lying down on the sofa and on the coffee table was an almost empty bottle of wine. Shit.

'Kurt?'

Kurt's head snapped up to look at me and he laughed. 'Blaaaaaine.'

He stood up from the sofa and staggered over towards me, giggling. Then he took me completely by surprise as he threw his arms around my neck and I nearly toppled backwards. I had to use all my weight to keep us balanced.

'Woah Kurt,' I said as I removed myself from him and held onto his arms.

'Wheresh hello kiss?' he asked, slurring his words and smiling at me.

'Um, how about we sit down yeah? That way I don't have to hold you up ok?'

I guided Kurt back over to the sofa and we sat down. I was just thinking how best to deal with all this when Kurt lunged at me, trying to kiss me. I put my hand out to his chest halting him. 'Kurt, stop.'

'What's problem?'

I reached up and stroked Kurt's cheek softly, smiling sweetly at him and trying my best not to annoy him. 'You've been busy tonight huh?'

Kurt giggled. 'So has you.'

'Sorry, it was unavoidable.'

'What was?' Kurt asked, looking at me a little strangely.

'I told you in my text, I had an emergency with work.'

Kurt laughed, but this time there was no humour with it. 'Yeah a courshe you did.'

He didn't believe me? 'Um, right... anyway, I'm just gonna make myself something to eat. Do you want-'

'Whatdya do?'

'Sorry?'

'Tonight. Whatdya do? Did yous go find a normal guys to... to fuck?'


	26. Chapter 26

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

What? Oh jesus christ. My heart was pounding so hard beneath my chest now. Drunk or not, how could Kurt even think I would do something like that? I knew there was no use continuing the conversation with Kurt in the state he was in, but I just couldn't help myself. 'Excuse me? You think I'm lying about working late?'

'Who was it?'

'This is ridiculous,' I said, shaking my head.

'Who?'

'I was working Kurt, _working_. A client of mine was admitted to hospital and I had to go and see them.'

Either Kurt hadn't bothered listening or just didn't believe a word I was saying. 'Dyou go and find Mark huh? Did you wanna reminds yours self what real man like?'

'Don't. I can't talk to you whilst you're like this.'

'Like what?'

'_Drunk_ Kurt. You're pissed out of your head and throwing ridiculous accusations at me. I get that you're not thinking properly right now and I'm the only one that will fucking remember this tomorrow but I can't listen to this anymore.'

I didn't wait around for Kurt to reply; I stood up and grabbed the wine bottle from the table so he couldn't finish it. Then I went into the kitchen and threw the bottle which smashed into the sink. I sat down at the table and ran my hands through my hair, the urge to scream was so strong but I held it back.

After letting myself calm down for a few minutes I went over to the fridge to get some juice. I was grateful that Kurt hadn't followed me, which would undoubtedly have escalated things much further. I went to have a shower and afterwards decided to check on Kurt. I found him still on the sofa, but this time he was fast asleep. He looked so sweet and angelic I couldn't help smiling.

I turned the tv off and went to get the duvet from the spare room and covered him with it. He stirred in his sleep and I leaned down to place a kiss to his forehead before retiring to my own bed, wondering what on earth tomorrow was going to bring.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

Why the fuck did I get drunk on a school night? What the hell was I thinking? I barely made it to eleven before I had to give up and go home sick. I felt awful having to call in the substitute for my class; it was my own stupid fault. As soon as I got back to the apartment I forced myself to eat a slice of toast, took some more painkillers and collapsed onto the bed in the spare room.

I came to at half four feeling a lot better. I had a shower and then headed out to get ingredients for Blaine's favourite meal that I make, spaghetti bolognese. I vaguely remembered him coming home last night although wouldn't have a clue what time it was. I couldn't help but feel all warm and fluffy this morning when I woke up on the sofa with the duvet from the spare room covering me.

It was almost six when I heard the front door open and Joey who was in the kitchen with me ran out into the hallway to greet Blaine. It was a couple of minutes before Blaine appeared in the doorway and he took in what he found, the table I'd made up and the food currently being cooked. He looked at me with a smile.

'What's all this?'

I took a couple of steps towards him, wiping my hands on a towel. 'I just wanted to do something nice for you. Is... is that ok?'

'Of course,' Blaine said. 'Mmm it smells delicious. I'm starving.'

I looked down to the floor, feeling shy. 'It's um... your favourite.'

'Spaghetti bolognese?' Blaine asked, sounding excited. I looked back up to see his face alight and eager like a little puppy.

'Yeah.'

'Yum.'

I laughed. 'Well it'll be ready in about ten minutes.'

'I'll just go and change out of my suit then, Blaine said and he loosened the tie around his neck which gave me all kinds of inappropriate thoughts.

I turned back to the cooking and Blaine left the room. Joey suddenly appeared, jumping up at my leg. 'Did I not just feed you mister?' He barked at me and I bent down to stroke him. 'I think me and Daddy are gonna be just fine,' I told him.

Fifteen minutes later we were tucking into our dinner. Blaine was barely pausing for breath and making appreciative noises in between mouthfuls. I couldn't help laughing; it was so adorable and just so Blaine.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'My table manners are shocking.'

'No don't apologise, it's cute.'

Several more minutes past with idle chit chat until we were both finished. Blaine took a sip of water and then cleared his throat nervously. 'So how are you feeling after last night?'

'A lot better than this morning,' I groaned. 'I had to leave work.' Blaine smiled and I could see he was trying not to laugh. 'Oh I'm glad my pain amuses you so much.'

'Do you remember anything from last night?' Blaine asked, not looking me in the eye.

'Um... no. Should I remember something?'

'Let's go and make ourselves more comfortable.'

My heart was racing now. What was going on? 'Er... ok.'

I followed Blaine into the living room and we settled ourselves down on the sofa, facing each other. Blaine sat in thought for a moment before speaking. 'So um... when I got home last night you were pretty drunk.'

I sighed. 'I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.'

'You weren't really with it.'

I was starting to panic now. What was Blaine trying to tell me? 'Oh god, did I do something?'

'You um...'

'Blaine, what is it?'

'You accused me of sleeping with someone else.'

'_What_?' I gasped. 'I... sorry what?'

'You were asking where I'd been... and who I'd been with.'

Oh my god. 'I... I'm so sorry, I...' I groaned and put my head in my hands. What was the matter with me? I looked back to Blaine and although he didn't look angry as such, he definitely looked hurt. I took hold of one of his hands and squeezed it softly. 'I'm really sorry Blaine, that was totally unforgiveable.'

He gave me a small smile before speaking. 'I won't lie and say that what you said didn't hurt, but I understand you were completely pissed and not-'

'No no no. Don't make excuses for me. Nothing can excuse saying something like that.'

Blaine looked down at our hands. 'So you don't think I'm capable of doing that then?'

'Of course not. I trust you Blaine, one hundred per cent. I can't believe I said those stupid things and I'm so sorry. I remember when I got your text about working late I thought you may have been making it up to avoid me.'

Blaine laughed. 'I can see why you may have thought that.'

'I promise you I'll never drink like that again… ever… and thank you for being so moral when I really don't deserve it, and before you start saying it doesn't matter, it does. I can't believe I behaved like that.'

'It wasn't without its factors Kurt, but thank you for apologising. It's nice.'

'You're too good for me Blaine Anderson.'

'Come here.' Blaine let go of my hand and I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. 'I'm so glad we could talk this through and put a line under it.'

'Me too.'

'You smell nice.'

'Thanks,' I giggled. 'You smell amazing, but then again you always smell amazing.'

'I've really hated these last few days,' Blaine whispered and I had to hold my emotions in check.

'I've hated it too,' I managed to say.

'So I guess it's time to have the big talk now.'

I pulled back from the embrace with a frown. 'Huh?'

'Well now that we've made up and had time to reflect on everything, we should have a proper talk.'

'About what?'

Blaine gave me an exasperated look. 'Kurt come on.'

'Well I've got to clear the dinner away and lots of other stuff to do so…'

I stood up from the sofa quickly and started walking out of the room but then Blaine's words halted me. 'That's it, walk away from me again.'

I turned around and looked at Blaine who was now standing. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Why are you running away from me? We can't get back on track properly if neither of us says what we're really thinking and feeling. There's no right or wrong discussion to have Kurt, we just need to have the discussion.'

I felt my heart racing. 'You want to talk about Saturday?'

Blaine let out a noise of frustration. 'Of course. I've wanted to talk about Saturday since Saturday.'

I looked down at the floor. 'I'm not sure there's anything to-'

'Kurt, don't do this. Please, not when we're making progress.' I couldn't stop my eyes filling up with tears and as I wiped them on my sleeve, Blaine walked over to me. 'Hey, don't cry.'

'But I f-feel like a complete i-idiot.'

'What? Why?'

I looked up to meet Blaine's gaze and there was nothing but concern and love there. I shouldn't be scared, this was Blaine after all. 'Do you have any idea how humiliating it was?'

Blaine blinked rapidly and then bit down on his bottom lip. 'I… I'm not going to say I know how you feel but…' He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before looking back at me. 'I'm sorry, can we sit down. Please?' I took a deep breath and nodded. We resumed our seats and Blaine carefully took my hand in his. 'It kills me to know what you went through and how it's affected you… but I hurt as well Kurt. It hurts so badly that you don't want to or… or can't turn to me. I won't claim to even know how to fix things but I want my boyfriend to seek my support… my comfort. This is a relationship Kurt… me and you we're… we're forever and maybe I'm being selfish, but I need you to talk to me… and I don't know how many times I need to tell you that you're not an idiot. I get that you're embarrassed and I understand, I do. But there's no need to be, especially with me. I love you.'

Oh god, I was totally crying now and Blaine was being so much more than I ever imagined before we started dating. How was he for real? 'I'm sorry.'

'It's ok.'

'N-no it's n-not. I've screwed up and I've handled this all wrong. I know my actions affect other people. I put Dad and Carole through hell not telling them what was going on with me and… I r-really don't want to do that to you. But I get scared and my natural reaction has always been to hide and… I can't lose you Blaine, I can't.'

'You're not gonna lose me ok? Never. One day we're gonna be sitting here with our bad backs, poor eye sight and grey hair arguing over who gets the remote.'

'I hope so,' I smiled.

'Good. Me too.'

'Blaine, be truthful with me… surely some part of you, no matter how small must think I'm just a pathetic freak for-'

'No… no,' Blaine said loudly, shaking his head and eyes wide with shock. 'Jesus… Kurt, no. I had reservations about Saturday but I did very little to warn you off and for that I'm sorry, I should have been more insistent. Despite how it may have seemed I was thinking with my hormones too.'

I could feel myself blushing and felt totally immature for focusing on the part about Blaine finding me sexually attractive. I really needed to grow up. 'I shouldn't have pushed you. I can't help thinking that you've got your therapist hat on sometimes and it clouds my judgement. I promise I'll listen to you more… although that doesn't necessarily mean I'll automatically agree with you.'

Blaine laughed and then leaned forwards to kiss me. It was the first time we'd done this since Saturday and fuck I'd missed it so much. I pulled my hand out of his and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. He smiled into the kiss and then his tongue was demanding entry and I gave in instantly, moaning. We stayed like this for a few minutes and eventually Blaine pulled back, breathing hard and his eyes still half closed.

'Um…'

'Yeah,' I laughed.

'I think we got a bit side tracked there,' Blaine smirked, his cheeks flushed.

'Well the blame for that is solely at your door.'

'I blame you for being too adorable.'

'I won't argue with that,' I smiled.

Blaine took my hand again and leaned back on the sofa, looking at me. 'Are you ok? Honestly?'

'I'm getting there,' was the best answer I could give. 'I guess I should be happy with what I've got right?'

'You have to be happy with the progress you have made Kurt. I know it can be hard to focus on the positives and the negatives tend to largely outweigh them in your mind, but can't you see how far you've come? We have had sex Kurt, and it was amazing and when you look back to even just a few weeks ago that probably wasn't something you could see yourself doing in the near future. But you did and… with time… I really believe we'll crack all your demons. But everything needs practice and… and to answer your question, yes you should be happy with what you've got… I'm totally awesome after all.'

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. 'Yeah you are pretty awesome… and thank you… for forcing me to talk. I swear to you I'll think more in the future and be more considerate of your feelings.'

'So no more fighting?'

'No.'

'Good, because I've hated being in the bed all alone.'

'Me too, although you are a bit of a cuddle slave.'

Blaine's eyes widen. 'I am not. It's not my fault if I naturally gravitate towards your side during the night. I have no control over that.'

'Yeah whatever. So you won't mind me moving you back over to your side then?'

Blaine looked conflicted and then smiled. 'Ok, I'm a cuddle slave.'

'And I love you for it,' I said.

I looked down at our connecting hands and felt myself becoming a little emotional. The last few days had been horrible and although I'd gone about coping with it the wrong way here we were stronger than ever. I honestly wouldn't have blamed him if Blaine decided I was too much and broke up with me. Of course I would have been heartbroken but I would have understood. I had to focus on the positives now.

'Kurt?'

I looked back up to Blaine. 'Hmm?'

'You ok?'

'Yeah, I'm fine. Blaine… do you miss sex? I mean… you know, t-topping and getting… um...'

'Blow jobs?' Blaine finished for me.

'Yeah, that,' I clarified, looking away from him as I said it.

'Do you want me to be honest?' Blaine asked quietly and my nerves increased tenfold. I nodded.

'I do miss it.'

Oh god.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. I couldn't stop myself from hyperventilating a little, even though I knew he was going to say it. I mean, Blaine had sucked me off twice and I'd fucked him so whereas before I was clueless, now… it wasn't something I would want to give up forever either. Which was why it played on my mind more nowadays, surely at some point Blaine would get tired of waiting… right? It was inevitable.

Blaine's expression went completely panicky at my mini freak out. 'Hey... hey... breathe for me ok?'

'I'm sorry,' I whispered as I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. 'I k-knew the answer before I even asked but it's just… d-different hearing you say it.'

'Kurt, I do miss it, I'm only human after all. But... nowhere near as much as I thought I would. Our relationship has never been based on sex, yet a hell of a lot of relationships start that way, especially these days and a few weeks or months down the line they realise sex was all they really had.'

'Blaine… you can't wait forever and-'

'Oi, yes I can,' he said sternly. 'Don't start down that road again, you know you'll lose. And without meaning to be crude, it's not as though I'm going without release is it?' I was momentarily blinded by the thought of Blaine jerking himself off and… yeah that was er… mmm… 'Kurt?'

I coughed and pulled myself back. 'Sorry, um… where were we?'

Blaine laughed. 'You're perfect ok? End of story.'

'But... I mean... I do turn you on right?' I asked, trying to sound flirty and sexy but probably failing miserably. Blaine's eyes shifted from my face, down my body, and back up again, and I could literally see the lust shining from them. I gulped.

'Very much so,' he whispered and I could feel myself becoming very warm all over.

'Well... good,' I mumbled shyly.

'You know, we've never needed a sexual aspect to our relationship in order for it to survive. We have feelings for each other which goes well beyond the physical.'

'How are you even real?' I asked and Blaine smiled.

'You lucked out huh?'

I couldn't stop a snort from escaping; Blaine was just so adorably dorky. 'I sure did. Every day I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not living in a dream world. It still amazes me that you're mine.'

Blaine was beaming at me. 'Don't you think I feel all that too?'

'Do you?'

Blaine nodded. 'Kurt... money and titles don't necessarily make you special. I'd like to think you would still love me and want to be with me if I lived in my parents basement and worked at Wal-Mart.'

'Of course I would,' I said straight away.

Was there really some part of Blaine, however small, that thought being a doctor and being rich was what attracted me to him most? I mean of course it was a nice bonus living in this great apartment and I'd had some very inappropriate fantasies about 'Doctor Anderson' I hoped one day to play out for real but Blaine could lose it all tomorrow and there would be no-one I'd rather have as my boyfriend.

'Blaine... I'd live in a cardboard box with you if I had to.'

He laughed and then kissed me on the lips. 'You're so sweet, but I don't think life would ever get that bad... and you would be pretty hard to be with if you couldn't do your skincare routine every day.'

'Oh my god, that would be sheer hell. Please don't ever let me get homeless.'

Blaine rolled his eyes at my panic. 'I promise my little drama queen... anyway, it's still early so what do you fancy doing?'

My mind went straight to the gutter with the thought of 'You,' but obviously I kept that to myself. 'How about we spend the rest of the evening snuggled on the sofa and watch a couple of movies?'

Blaine smiled. 'Sounds perfect.'

As Blaine leaned in to kiss me again, Joey jumped up between us putting an end to the fun. We laughed and I stroked Joey's head. 'Hey Joey.'

'You are too cute.'

'Are you talking to me or Joey?' I asked, looking up at Blaine and he smirked at me.

'The sentiment applies to you both right now.'

'Aww, Daddy thinks we're cute. Did you hear that Joey? Did you? Who's my good boy?'

'Oh I'm sorry, do you want me to leave you two alone?' Blaine asked playfully.

'Are you feeling left out?'

'Yes,' Blaine pouted and he reached out a hand to Joey who licked it. 'Anyway… thank you for dinner by the way, it was delicious.'

'You're welcome.'

'I could get used to coming home with a nice dinner awaiting me.'

'Do you want me to be your slave?' I asked.

'Er, yeah,' Blaine smirked and I lightly hit him on the arm.

'Anyway, would you like to repay me for dinner?'

Blaine laughed. 'Of course... within reason.'

'Well in that case, I'd love some coffee and feel free to rustle up some nibbles for the movies.'

'Coffee and nibbles? Bossy much? What did _your_ last slave die of?'

'You really don't want to know,' I winked and Blaine smiled. 'I made a whole dinner remember... the least you can do is grab some snacks... and maybe clear the table away.'

Blaine rolled his eyes and then managed to lean over Joey to kiss me, before pulling back only slightly and fixing me with such a loving look, his eyes shining bright. 'Well it's a good job I love you isn't it?'

My heart was beating fast as I nodded, speech completely forgotten about. I loved that he still had this effect on me and I hoped it would never stop, despite it being pretty embarrassing, blushing at the slightest thing. But how could I think about anything with Blaine's beautiful face so close and the words of endearment coming out of his mouth?

'Is my close proximity um... bothering you?' he whispered, raising one eyebrow and clearly loving this.

'N-no not at all,' I replied quietly and then Joey yapped and we both looked down into my lap where he was staring at us and looking annoyed at the lack of attention.

'Thanks for ruining the moment again Joe,' Blaine joked, but he was looking at him with sheer love.

'Hey can I ask you something?'

'Sure,' Blaine replied.

'I was wondering what your thoughts would be on getting another pet?'

'Another dog?' Blaine frowned, clearly not on board with that idea at all.

'No not another dog, I was thinking maybe a cat?'

'A cat?'

'Yeah, it's just I've always wanted one but my Dad's allergic... and it would be nice for Joey to have a friend.'

'A cat... yeah that sounds like a good idea,' Blaine smiled.

'Really?' I said excitedly and Blaine nodded.

'Yay, we're getting a cat. Oh my god I love you so much.'

Blaine laughed. 'Well it's good to know you're so easily pleased.'

* * *

><p>'I'm sorry we're missing dinner but they couldn't do any other night.'<p>

It was Friday evening. I was in the bathroom (fully clothed) and talking to my Dad on the phone. 'Right, so who are you meeting?'

'Sam and his boyfriend. It's a kind of double date I guess.'

'Well that's... nice. You should hang out with other gay people more often; you've been quite sheltered in that respect.'

'Thanks for the pep talk,' I laughed. 'Blaine has a few friends who are gay too, so there's not a lack of choice.'

'Are they his exes?' Dad asked.

'No. There's Simon who is a friend from college and there's Nick and Jeff, a couple since their Dalton days. They were at the house on my birthday.'

'Well I hope you enjoy your night and no cancelling next Friday ok?'

'Yes Sir.'

'Bye kid.'

'Bye Dad.'

I put my phone down by the sink and checked out my reflection in the mirror. I smiled. I was really happy with my outfit and my hair looked great. It was weird to think now that I'd gone so for many years not really caring about my appearance, or my clothes or my hair. My seventeen year old self would have been completely horrified and most likely would have died of shock and the shame of it. But that's what depression does to you; it takes away the things we enjoy in life to ensure we stay low. Things were different now though and my heart swelled when I thought of Blaine and our life together.

To be honest I was a bit nervous about the dinner with Sam and Craig tonight. Although my confidence and self-esteem had improved significantly over the past few months I was still a bit out of practice with social situations. But I was looking forward to it too, and of course I'd have Blaine by my side all night being all charming and dapper.


	27. Chapter 27

_~KURT'S POV~_

Speaking of the devil, Blaine chose that moment to walk into the bathroom.

He immediately started coughing. 'Jeez Kurt, how much hairspray did you use?'

I turned around to glare at him. 'I'm not answering that mister too much gel.'

Blaine smiled at me. 'Point taken, although at least my hair product isn't a health risk.'

'Well that's a matter of opinion.'

Blaine rolled his eyes at me. 'Leave my hair gel alone.'

'Well leave my hairspray alone then. Do you want me to go out looking scruffy?'

'You look absolutely amazing Kurt.'

I felt myself blush as Blaine looked me up and down. 'Oh thanks. Are you planning on getting dressed sometime today?'

Blaine laughed. His hair was done but he was still wearing his casual not-going-anywhere clothes. 'It'll take me less than two minutes to get dressed bossy boots.'

'Well we're leaving in thirty minutes so get a move on or I'll have to drive off without you and explain to Sam and Craig what a horrible boyfriend I have.'

Blaine's eyes widened. 'You wouldn't dare.'

'Care to test out the theory?' I asked, folding my arms across my chest and raising an eyebrow at him.

Blaine smirked at me. 'Well your point's invalid anyway, seeing as I'm the one driving.'

'No, I am.'

'No you're not.'

'Am so.'

'Nah uh Kurt, I'm driving.'

'Where have you got this idea from that you're the one driving?'

'Duh... because I am,' Blaine replied, sounding like a child and I couldn't help but smile. I adored his playful side. 'Sam's your friend Kurt; therefore you should be the one to let your hair down and have a drink or two. See? I'm an amazing boyfriend. You can tell them that.'

'I'm not massaging your ego for you,' I laughed. 'Besides, I don't even want to drink.'

'No?'

I grimaced and shook my head. 'No. After the other night I don't think I could even look at alcohol at the moment without throwing up.'

'Well that's a lovely image.'

'Sorry.'

Blaine came nearer to me, looking torn. 'Are you sure you don't want to drink? Because I really don't mind being designated driver, and the brownie points would be cool.'

'Yes I'm sure. So... case closed, I'm driving.'

'Ok,' Blaine conceded.

He closed what little distance was left between us and wrapped his arms around my waist. 'Blaaaine, you'll crease my shirt,' I whined.

'Oh shush you,' he complained. Before I even had the chance to protest his lips were on mine and I was officially gone. My arms went straight around his neck and I pushed my tongue into his mouth, Blaine's throaty moan going straight to my groin area.

'Mmnng,' I murmured as Blaine pushed us back against the wall. His hands moved from my hips to grab my arse and I couldn't help thrusting forward a little.

'God you smell amazing,' Blaine growled as he detached our lips just for a moment before diving straight back in.

I was completely lost in everything Blaine and when I felt fingers fumbling with the button on my pants I didn't even flinch or question it. I was already half hard and Blaine's tongue was sending me wild, leaving all coherent thought totally impossible. Then the zip was pulled down and Blaine thrust his groin forwards into mine.

'Fuuuck,' I moaned.

I could feel Blaine smiling against my mouth and then his tongue and lips were gone and I was about to whine in protest but I watched in astonishment as Blaine dropped to his knees and grabbed my pants with his hands. 'Can I?'

I gulped and could feel my heart straining to escape from my chest. Blaine's eyes were glazed over in lust and all I could do in that moment was nod stupidly. With one last wicked grin, Blaine pulled my cock free from my underwear and took it straight into his mouth, every last inch.

'Oh my god,' I gasped.

My hands went to Blaine's hair, immediately messing up the gelled locks. I heard a slight wince as my fingers tugged too tightly but I didn't care. He pulled his mouth halfway down my cock and used his tongue to lick and tease at the tip of my head.

'Aarmmngah.'

Blaine started sucking and moving his mouth up and down my cock in a steady rhythm, his hands flat against the wall behind me. The heat, the pressure, the feeling was out of this world and I couldn't stop myself from starting to thrust forward so I was fucking Blaine's mouth. I really wasn't going to last long at all.

'Oh jesus,' I panted. 'Oh fuck.'

I was convinced I could feel Blaine smiling but he carried on blowing me and all too soon I could feel my climax building rapidly. I dropped my head back against the wall and closed my eyes as I let my orgasm take over, coming into Blaine's mouth and down his throat.

As I came down from my high, Blaine let my cock slip from his mouth and I looked down breathlessly to see him beaming up at me, his lips red and swollen and hair a complete mess, sticking up everywhere. He looked so fucking hot and delicious.

'So er... what... what was that in aid of?' I asked, still trying to get my breathing back to normal.

'You expect to look that sexy and not send me wild? Are you crazy? I had no control over my actions whatsoever.'

'Oh really?' I asked as Blaine smirked at me, looking very satisfied with himself.

'Yup... complaining are you?'

'Fuck no... god, I love you.'

Blaine laughed and sat himself down on the floor, back against the wall. I slid down so I was beside him, grateful to get the weight off my legs which felt like mush. Then I almost choked on air as Blaine reached into his sweat pants and pulled out his hard cock and started jerking himself off. He looked to side and caught my startled expression but just smirked at me. Without really thinking about it, I reached out and put my hand on Blaine's, halting his actions. He frowned at me as I bit my lip and tried to look seductive.

'Let me,' I whispered and Blaine's adam's apple bobbed up and down. He didn't seem able to form words at that moment so I removed his hand from his cock and I took over, pumping him and slowly increasing the pressure and speed.

'Mmm yeah that's… oh god, that's good,' he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Seeing Blaine in a haze of pleasure was such an incredible sight, and a hell of a fucking turn on. He neared his climax and bucked his hips forward with a loud groan rising from the back of his throat. Then he was coming and spilling all over my clenched hand and his sweat pants. He rested his head back against the wall for a few moments, coming down from his orgasm.

'Thank you,' he said quietly. 'That was amazing.'

'My pleasure,' I smiled.

'I guess we both need to shower again huh?' Blaine mused and then we both started giggling.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'Have a lovely time and don't worry about Joey, he'll be just fine with his grandparents.'

'I know Mom, you take better care of him then I do.' From the front door I could see Joey jumping up at my Dad in the kitchen doorway, yapping with excitement. 'And he's having way too much fun already... so I'll pick him up on Sunday if that's ok?'

'Of course… you know, one day it would be nice to have a human grandchild being dropped off for the weekend.'

I laughed and felt myself blushing. 'Hey, I'm the youngest and I'm gay. You should be pressuring Coop to have children; he's thirty four and it's a lot easier for him.'

'Oh I do, every time he calls. But even when Cooper does have children, he lives so far away and I need at least one that is nearby.'

'Duly noted.'

'So um... what are Kurt's thoughts on having kids?' Mom asked me with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

I shook my head. 'Oh my god, I can't believe we're having this conversation.'

'I think you two would make lovely parents.'

'You do know this is classed as harassment right?'

'Your father and I are merely taking an interest in the lives of our children... although what is the point in having children when we don't get rewarded with grandchildren?'

I couldn't help laughing at that. 'I'm glad to hear Cooper and I are such a disappointment to you.'

'Have the two of you even discussed it?'

'Moooom,' I whined, not caring that I sounded like a twelve year old. 'No we haven't, we've not even been together a year yet. Why didn't I get the third degree when I was with Mark?'

Mom reached out and took my hand. 'Blaine... in all seriousness, I can see that you and Kurt are meant for each other. Ever since you've been with him I've never seen you so happy and alive. And I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you with all the teasing but we both know that you and Kurt will be parents one day.'

I had to swallow a lump in my throat. 'Right, I'm gonna go before I get all sentimental and emotional.'

Mom laughed and let go of my hand. 'Ok sweetheart.'

I kissed Mom on the cheek and then made my way back down the path to Kurt's car. I was kind of excited about tonight; we'd not had double date with another gay couple before. We were planning to with Nick and Jeff some time though, probably after their anniversary party that was coming up. I once had a double date with them and Mark, but funnily enough Nick and Jeff never expressed any interest to repeat it. My friend Simon hadn't been with a guy long enough for double dating to ever be an option. I was actually starting to wonder if he would never settle down. I felt sad for him; even though he probably thought he had the best life possible.

'Let's get this show on the road,' I said as I got into the passenger seat and buckled up. Kurt just laughed at me and started the engine.

'So what took so long?' Kurt asked he drove off, but then added in a hurry, 'Not that I'm complaining or anything.'

'Um... Mom was talking to me about Cooper, he doesn't phone enough apparently.'

Mom's words had really hit me, because I could see it too, Kurt and I having a child one day. I could clearly picture us at the Hummel's for friday night dinner with a little toddler running around being doted on by not only his or her parents, but grandparents too. The thought made me feel all warm inside, as thought it was a certainty and not just a dream.

'Are you sure your parents don't mind having Joey for the weekend?'

'Mind?' I scoffed. 'They practically insisted. What about your Dad... does he mind us missing dinner this week?'

'Um... he was fine.'

'Well the 'um' seems a little contradictory.'

Kurt laughed and glanced my way for a moment. 'Well he wasn't exactly thrilled but he's fine with it. He understands we have our own life to lead and dinner every Friday might not be a possibility.'

'Carole makes awesome desserts though.'

'You're such a kid Blaine.'

'Well I have to get my sugar fix from somewhere.'

'Oh so I'm depriving you of sugar now?'

'Little bit,' I giggled and Kurt shook his head. But the smile on his face told me that he was loving it really. It was so nice how we could be really silly with each other but also have incredibly serious discussions as well.

'Well don't come crying to me when you have a heart attack ok?'

'Fine I won't,' I retorted. 'I'll go to Burt and Carole; at least I'll get some sympathy from them.'

* * *

><p>We pulled up outside the restaurant we had arranged to meet at and went inside. We were a few minutes early and Sam and Craig hadn't arrived yet so we were taken to our table and looked over the menu whilst we waited. 'Hmm,' Kurt mused beside me.<p>

'What?' I asked.

'I'm just wondering if I should get a starter or not.'

'Well you probably won't be joining me in having cake so treat yourself with a starter.'

Kurt laughed. 'You say the sweetest things... are you having a starter?'

'I was thinking about the soup... I don't want to eat too much, need room for cake. Mmm cake.'

'Oh my god, I can't take you anywhere.'

'I'm adorable and you know it,' I said, leaning over to kiss Kurt on the cheek.

'There they are,' Kurt suddenly said and I looked up to see Sam and Craig making their way over to us. My first impression was that Sam didn't particularly look like the fun and outgoing guy Kurt made him out to be and the guy I had seen briefly at the New Directions reunion. He looked tired and pale but maybe he was unwell? Or had a stressful job? Then my attention turned to Craig. He looked like he probably spent three hours a day in the gym. Kurt and I both stood up as they reached the table and I sucked my stomach in, feeling a little insecure.

'It's really nice to meet you both,' I said as I shook hands with Craig and then Sam.

'Likewise,' Craig smiled. 'You two are a really cute couple.'

'Oh... thanks,' Kurt blushed beside me.

Him and Sam embraced and I saw a concerned look on Kurt's face as they pulled apart. Maybe Kurt thought his friend was looking off too. We all took our seats and indulged in small talk until we'd ordered and our drinks arrived. Sam lifted his glass of wine up and said, 'To friends and loved ones.' The three of us repeated it and we all clinked glasses. Kurt turned to me for a moment with a big smile on his face and I gave him a little wink.

'So... you went to school with my Sam?' Craig asked Kurt.

'Um yeah, McKinley. And we were in the glee club together too.'

'The good old days when he was straight,' Craig said and we all laughed.

'Oh god, do you remember trouty mouth?' Sam asked Kurt and the both of them started giggling. Craig and I shared a bemused look.

'Trouty mouth?' I repeated.

Sam buried his face in his hands so it was left to Kurt to explain. 'We were given an assignment in glee club to write an original song and Santana wrote one about Sam called "Trouty Mouth". It was beyond hilarious.'

'Santana?' Craig said quietly to Sam.

'Girlfriend,' he told him. 'And she turned out to be a lesbian.'

'So you were each other's unconscious beards?' Craig asked whilst laughing.

'Yeah I guess.'

'Did you write a song?' I said to Kurt but he shook his head.

'No, but Rachel wrote a terrible song called Hairband or something, seriously it was terrible.'

'And she thought it was brilliant,' Sam added. 'Hey Blaine, Kurt said you were in a glee club too.'

'Yeah, the Dalton Academy Warblers. I had the best time, it was great.'

'Dalton? That's an all-boys school right?' Craig asked me.

'Yep.'

'I bet that played havoc with your teenage hormones.'

'Um… kinda,' I laughed. 'Luckily there were other gay guys who were out at the school and the ill-fitting uniform helped a little with the er… hormones.'

'So no tight pants like Kurt used to wear?' Sam joked.

I blushed. 'No thank goodness. So Craig, what was your school like?'

'Homophobic,' he replied. 'I only came out to my parents and my sister before graduation. There were a couple of guys "out" but the bullying they got just wasn't worth the hassle.'

'So where did you meet Sam?' Kurt asked Craig.

'We met at the opening night of a new gay bar in Columbus, didn't we babe?'

'Yeah,' Sam nodded. 'I was doing a promotions gig there and Craig came in with a couple of friends.'

'You two live together right?' Craig asked Kurt and I.

'We do,' Kurt told him. 'We're having the moving in party soon.'

'Oh yes, Sam said something now I think of it.'

I only moved in last weekend though, so it's still all new but I love it. I was starting to hate waking up without Blaine beside me.'

'Me too,' I added. 'Have you two thought about making that step?'

Craig shook his head and turned to Sam. 'Not yet. But maybe soon, right Sammy?'

'Yeah hopefully... um sorry I just need to go and use the bathroom... if you'll all excuse-'

'Are you feeling ok?' Craig asked him before he could walk off.

'Yeah, I just need to pee,' he said quietly and Craig laughed. Sam left the table and then Craig pulled his phone out and started texting someone. I suddenly realised I was desperate for the bathroom as well and it must have told in my expression as Kurt leaned in to me and said, 'Do you need to go as well?'

'I can wait for Sam to come back.'

'Go,' Kurt ordered with a smile and I checked for any doubt, not sure if Kurt would want to be left by himself but I was probably just being over protective as Kurt looked fine with it.

'Ok,' I said, giving him a quick kiss before leaving the table. I made my way down the corridor leading to the bathrooms but stopped when I saw Sam outside the men's, leaning back against the wall and staring at his feet.

'Hey are you ok?'

Sam looked up to see who had spoken to him and when he saw it was me, attempted a smile. 'Yeah I'm fine.'

I moved closer to him. 'No you're not.'

Sam looked away and sighed. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' I reassured him. 'I don't really know you but... even I can tell you've been upset about something and... if you want to talk or just have someone listen I'm all ears... or if you want to tell me to get lost that's ok too.'

Sam let out a small chuckle. 'Kurt told me you were a psychologist... I guess you're used to reading and studying people right?'

I smiled. 'Yeah, it's a hard habit to get out of.'

'Look, I don't want to bother you with my prob-'

'It's no bother,' I interrupted. 'But I'll understand if you'd rather not talk to a stranger... I could get Kurt for you?'

'Craig's cheating on me,' Sam whispered, taking me completely by surprise.

'Oh... I'm so sorry,' I said, which was pretty unhelpful but I didn't know what else to say. 'Are you sure?'

'Yeah... I found texts and photos on his phone last night and... oh god I just don't know what to do.'

Sam looked as though he was going to cry but he managed to keep himself under control. I reached a hand out and squeezed his arm. 'I take it you haven't confronted him about it?'

'No,' Sam said quietly. He pushed a hand through his blonde locks and groaned with frustration. 'I thought he was different... I thought he was the one.'

'I know it really hurts right now and only you can decide where you go from here but... it will get better, believe me.'

'Thanks man.'

'I was totally lost before Kurt and I started dating, I thought I was incapable of having a normal and healthy relationship.'

'I'm really glad for Kurt; you seem like such a great guy.'

'Oh, thanks. I'm glad for me too, Kurt's pretty awesome.'

'You know, I asked Kurt out shortly before you two started dating... I guess you're made up he said no huh?'

I laughed and I was pleased to see Sam was smiling. 'Yeah, I can't say I'm not happy about that.'

'I should probably get back,' Sam sighed. 'They'll be wondering where we are in a minute.'

'Has Craig noticed you being off today?' I asked.

'Yeah he has, I just told him I've got some virus that's going round.'

'Right.'

Sam suddenly started crying. 'I'm s-sorry, I've been t-trying to hold it together but-'

'Hey,' I said softly, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder. 'Take a few deep breathes for me ok?' Sam did as I asked but looked embarrassed and my heart ached for him.

'God, you must think I'm so pathetic and-'

'No no, not at all. Please don't feel embarrassed ok? You're understandably upset and I'm amazed you're holding it together as much as you have been.'

'Thanks for being so nice.'

'It's my pleasure, and any friend of Kurt's is always worth my time.'

Sam's mouth twisted into a slight smile. 'You have met Rachel Berry right?'

I laughed. 'That's a good point. She can be a little intense... um, I'm just gonna use the bathroom real quick and then we can go back together.'

'Ok.'

So a couple of minutes later we returned to our table, Sam's tears long gone and his fake smile back in place. We resumed our seats and then I apologised to the other two for us being so long. 'Sorry, we got chatting about football.'

'Not trying to steal my man are you?' Craig asked me playfully and I laughed.

'No, I've got my own thanks,' I replied, squeezing Kurt's leg under the table. A few minutes passed and we were all tucking into our mains. I noticed Kurt using his phone as we were discussing college experiences, but then my own vibrated in my pocket.

_Sam doesn't seem himself tonight :( Were you really busy talking football? K x__He did tell me something, I'll explain when we're in the car Bx_

'What clubs do you guys visit?' Craig asked Kurt and I.

'Well we don't really do the club scene, not since we got together,' I replied. 'But we used to go to The Loop, didn't we Kurt?'

'Yeah, I went there quite a bit before Blaine. I think when you're with someone your hobbies change a bit. We like cooking dinner and stuff.'

'Oh, well Sam and I love the clubs. We go about three times a week don't we?'

Sam nodded. 'Yeah we have a great time.'

'We sneak booze in,' Craig laughed. 'So we pay for the first one and then top up for like fifty cents.'

'Good idea,' I replied. 'Do you just go to gay clubs?'

'Usually, but not always.'

'Are you looking forward to your party?' Sam asked us. Kurt and I turned to each other and smiled, and then we giggled.

'Yeah we are,' Kurt said. 'It'll be fun to have the guys from New Direction and the Warblers mingling.'

'I'll be surprised if it doesn't end in a sing song,' I added.

'We can't wait,' Craig said with a smile.

I smiled back and then shared a look with Sam. There was no way Craig would be coming to the party. An hour later we said our goodbyes to Sam and Craig in the parking lot. As Kurt and I got into his car I came straight out with it.

'Craig's cheating on him. He found stuff on his phone last night.'

Kurt sighed. 'Oh my god... poor Sam.'

'Yeah, he's pretty cut up about it. I don't think it'll be long before he confronts him.'

'He should have cancelled today, we would have understood. Do you think I should call him tomorrow?'

'Well he did ask if he could call you anytime he needed to talk and I said yes. Was that ok?'

'Of course, I'll give him a ring tomorrow anyway.'

'So apart from Sam's boyfriend being a total doucheag, have you had a nice evening?'

Kurt smirked at me. 'Oh yeah… a _very_ nice evening.'

I licked my lips, and then I put my hands on either side of Kurt's neck and leaned in for a kiss. I could hear Kurt moan softly as we kissed more passionately and I pushed my tongue pass his lips. This continued for a few minutes until Kurt pulled back, and laughed at the little whine I released.

'Right, let's go home,' Kurt smiled and he started up the engine, leaving me breathless and semi hard under in my pants.


	28. Chapter 28

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

It was only three days before the moving in party and despite my initial dread at the thought of it; I was kind of looking forward to it now. Having friends share in our news was what it was about after all and the ego side of me quite liked the idea of showing Kurt off as mine.

It was after work and I made my way to a bar to meet Wes and Nick for a couple of drinks (well it would start out as a couple of drinks!). The first hour was spent catching up and talking about things like old Dalton students and recent tv shows we'd all been watching. But as the alcohol started to take effect, my love life once again became the hot topic of discussion. These guys were unhealthily obsessed, although perhaps just a very small part of me quite liked it.

'So how's the cohabiting going?' Wes asked.

'Good.'

'Just good?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Ok, it's great.'

Are you getting on each other's nerves yet?'

'No of course not,' I laughed.

'Really?'

'Yeah. Everything's really nice and it just feels right.'

Nick raised an eyebrow at me. 'So not even _one_ tiny disagreement over the placement of cushions or something?'

'What is it with everyone thinking all gay guys are obsessed with things like cushions?'

Wes laughed. 'Because they usually are.'

'Not necessarily. That's just stereotyping.'

'Ok, answer me one question Blainers.'

'Is it inappropriate?' I asked and Wes rolled his eyes at me.

'No, get your head out of the gutter B.'

'Sorry. Go ahead then.'

'Do you have cushions in your apartment?'

Oh shit. 'Well yeah of course but-'

'_See_?'

'You are _so_ gay Blaine,' Nick said with a shake of his head.

'So are you,' I retorted.

'Yeah but you're like _gay_ gay, you know?'

'No I don't know. Anyway, surely you and Jeff have cushions?'

'Of course, the apartment is full of them. Jeff loves all that stuff.'

'And you're calling me _gay_ gay?' I asked.

'Whatever.'

'I seriously need some straight friends,' Wes sighed and we all laughed.

'You've got David,' I said.

'Yeah but he's one of us lot, which makes him a token gay. And I swear he plucks his eyebrows.'

'And shaves his chest,' Nick added and I nearly choked on my drink.

'How would you know?'

'We used to be in that swimming club together remember? He told me not to tell anyone.'

Wes laughed. 'Well you sure kept that a secret.'

Nick shrugged. 'Anyway, back to teasing Blainey about Kirk. Do you write Kirk little love messages through the steam on the bathroom mirror?'

'No,' I scoffed, but looked away from them all as I felt my face heat up. Of course I wrote him messages on the mirror, it was romantic right? They started laughing and high-fiving each other. God my friends were such annoying jerks. 'Can we talk about something else now?'

'_No_,' they both said in unison.

'Why aren't we questioning Nick about Jeff?'

Wes sighed. 'Because they've been together forever and are totally boring. No offence Nick.'

'None taken,' Nick said to him. 'It's true.'

'So when is the big day dude?' Wes asked and I frowned at him. 'I think spring is nice, what do you think Nicholas?'

'Oh yeah, spring would be lovely.'

'Spring? What big day are you two on about?' I asked, feeling very confused.

'Getting married,' Wes explained.

I laughed. 'Huh? We've only just moved in together and we're not even-'

'But you're living in sin Blainey,' Wes interrupted. 'First with whatshisname, who was a complete bore by the way, and now with Kirk. Are you trying to piss off God?'

I gave him an exasperated stare and took a sip of my beer. 'This isn't the eighteenth century Wes.'

'But you need to make an honest man of him,' Nick said.

'Well when are you and Jeff getting married? You two aren't even engaged, yet you've lived in sin for like seven years.'

'But we're talking about _you_ not me.'

'I really want to go to a gay wedding _so_ badly,' Wes whined.

'A minute ago you wanted straight friends, and now you're desperate to watch two gays swap vows and stuff.'

'They're two different things,' Wes replied. 'Anyway, stop avoiding the topic; I need to have gay wedding anecdotes.'

'You're weird,' I told him. 'A gay wedding is no different to a straight wedding.'

'Are you kidding?' Nick gasped, his face lighting up. 'Do you really think we would organise some boring traditional wedding for you? The cake alone will be like a super gay rainbow.'

I nearly choked on taking a sip from my glass. '_What_? If I ever got married, do you think I would let you idiots anywhere near the preparations?'

'You'd have no choice Blainey,' Nick said matter of factly.

'Ok sorry, _correction_, do you really think Kurt would let you anywhere near the preparations?' They looked at each other and then turned their heads to me with expressions that clearly said I was mad. 'Why are you looking at me like that for?'

Wes patted me on the head and I ducked away. 'Blaine, your other half isn't as uptight as you.'

'How would you know? You've only met him a few times.'

'Well we all feel that he gets us you know?' Nick said and Wes nodded in agreement.

I shook my head at them both. 'You're both completely mental. Kurt wouldn't even let you organise the chairs, let alone anything of importance. In fact, who's to say you'd even be invited?'

'That was low Blaine,' Wes said and Nick added, 'Totally uncalled for.'

'Can we have a change of topic?' I asked with a sigh. 'You're starting to seriously freak me out now.'

'Have you ever tried to get Kirk into your Dalton uniform?' Nick asked out of nowhere.

'What? No,' I said in a slightly high pitched tone, but I felt my cheeks getting warm as I remembered prior to the Dalton reunion when I'd told Kurt I had a spare uniform he could borrow. But unfortunately he had politely declined and made a joke about the pants being too short for him anyway. Actually, maybe it was time to bring it up again, I would love to see Kurt all dressed up as a school boy and-

'Blaine,' Wes shouted and I jumped.

'Sorry, what?'

'Oh my god, you were just stuck in an x-rated fantasy weren't you?' he gasped and they started laughing.

'Look how red he's gone,' Nick said as I wished to god the ground would open up and swallow me.

'Um, I'll get another round in,' I muttered, rushing off towards the bar.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I'd got home from having dinner at Dad and Carole's and made myself comfortable on the sofa with Joey beside me. I wasn't expecting Blaine to be back anytime soon seeing as he was out with some of the Warbler lot, but decided to send him a text message.

_Having fun? Joey and I are watching Legally Blonde. Kx_

_No. No fun at all! Bx_

_Oh why not? K x_

_PLEASE save me from these idiots! B__x_

_I would do, but I've already put my PJs on. K x_

_Just put a coat on over them, nobody will notice. Bx_

_Sorry, I'm just too comfortable to move :P K x_

_You don't love me :( Bx_

_Lol! Stop trying to be cute. K x_

_They're horrible and smelly, I want my Kurt and a Joey cuddle :( Bx_

_You're seriously adorable and you know deep down you're having a good time. K x_

_So you think I'm cute and adorable? ;) Bx_

_Yes Mr Egotistical, now go and play nice with your friends. K x_

_They're aliens Kurt. Weird annoying aliens from planet stupid. Can we un-invite them to the party? Bx_

_Hmm, we could do but you know they'd just turn up anyway K x_

_True. They have no boundaries. Maybe we should move? :) Bx_

_Not that again lol. Well that is an option, although an expensive one, and they would probably find you. Maybe just put up with them?;) K x_

_i love uou kurt anf cany wait to see uou later vz_

_Um... thanks?! K x_

_Sorry, the guys bet me I couldn't text with my eyes closed ha! Bx_

_See! You are having fun :) K x_

It was an hour later when I heard a key in the front door. It was funny how certain noises make you feel all happy inside. Or was it just me? Either way, I was excited that Blaine was back home. He appeared in the living room moments later, looking a little unsteady on his feet.

'Hey,' he whispered.

'Hi Mr Tipsy.'

'I only had a couple of beers.'

'A couple?' I asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Ok, maybe three or four. I lost count,' Blaine giggled and then he made his way over to me. He sat next to me on the sofa, leaning in for a quick kiss. 'Mmm I missed you,' he said, smiling and staring straight into my eyes.

'I missed you too. Working sucks.'

'It sure does. We should both quit and spend every day cuddled up under the duvet.'

'That's a very tempting offer,' I smiled. 'So how were the guys?'

'Full of energy like usual.'

'Discussing your love life huh?' I asked and Blaine nodded.

'They're seriously too invested in what I'm doing.'

'They like seeing you happy Blaine. I bet they didn't tease you about Mark.'

Blaine thought for a moment before replying. 'Yeah that's true. But anyway, please don't make me have to see them again.'

I laughed. 'No can do, Saturday is almost here.'

Blaine made a face. 'You know, I much prefer to spend time with you... you smell better... and look better, and talk _way_ more sense.'

He was an incredibly cute drunk. It was amazing how alcohol affects people in completely different ways, some people can get emotional, depressed, mean or even violent. But Blaine just gets all cuddly and sweet. 'Well you've got me now... so how about we get ready and snuggle up in bed?'

'Ok.'

Blaine stood up and went to use the bathroom first whilst I washed a few dishes. I did my nightly routine and when I went into the bedroom, my heart swelled at the scene in front of me. Blaine was lying on his back on top of the duvet in just his underpants and work shirt, with the buttons half undone. He was also fast asleep and snoring softly. I took a photo on my phone... just for um... science purposes you know?

I managed to get Blaine's shirt off and pull the duvet out from under him, despite some sleep induced protest whines which made me laugh and wish I'd recorded it. I got into my side of the bed and within seconds Blaine gravitated towards me, draping an arm over me and resting his head on my chest. It was stupid, but I had to hold back the urge to cry. I was just so unbelievably happy with him.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

It was the day of our party and already quite a few people had arrived. After a chaotic morning of trying to get everything ready, it was nice to just relax with friends and a beer in hand. I was currently talking to Kip in the living room.

'So have you decided yet?' I asked. We were talking about the fact his Mom had been in touch via the adoption agency, saying she didn't have long to live.

'Yeah, I'm gonna get the adoption agency to pass on my email address and take it from there... but I don't really know what the right thing to do is.'

'Just go with your heart Kip, there's no right way to go about this. You're being pressured into making a decision.'

'But what if it turns out she's lying?'

I shrugged. 'That's the chance you take, but it doesn't make anything you've done wrong.'

'Yeah I guess. You're good at this advice stuff, you should make a career out of it,' Kip said and we both laughed.

'It's all about context. We're all going to make mistakes in our lives, but it's how you deal with them that matters.'

'True,' Kip nodded and then Joey appeared at his feet. Kip picked him up stroked him. 'Hello Joey, you're just adorable aren't you?'

For some reason, Joey had taken a shine to Kip. Maybe he had doggie treats hidden in his pockets or something? The doorbell went and I excused myself to go and answer it. I opened the door to see Simon standing there.

'Hey Simon, so glad you could make it,' I said before giving him a big hug.

'It's good to see you Blaine,' he replied, letting me go. I invited him in and he followed me through to the living room.

'Well you'll know some of the Warbler guys here and-'

'Whose the cute blonde?' Simon asked. I looked and saw that he was clearly checking Sam out, who was deep in conversation with Puck.

'Sam,' I replied. 'A friend of Kurt's from high school. But _don't_ even think about trying out your charms on him ok? He just came out of a difficult relationship.'

'So he _is_ gay? Thanks for confirming it B.'

I groaned. 'Simon, I'm not joking. His ex cheated on him.'

Simon laughed and rolled his eyes at me. 'Alright granddad, keep your hair on.'

'I mean it Si. Kurt's parents are here and I don't want anyone getting upset.'

'Ok, I'll be on my best behaviour. I promise. Now tell me where I can get some booze?'

'Kitchen, what would you like me to get-'

'No no, I'll get it, you stay with your guests.'

Simon wandered off and I joined Nick and David, who were having a rather heated debate about whether the baby from Family Guy was gay or not.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I was putting the finishing touches to some sandwiches I was making in the kitchen, when a guy I didn't recognise walked in. 'Hi I'm Kurt,' I smiled.

'Oh my god, I finally get to meet the famous Kirk,' he said with an excited glint in his eyes.

'That's me,' I laughed.

'I'm Simon; I went to college with Blaine.'

'Of course, thanks for coming,' I replied and we shook hands after I cleaned mine on a towel. 'It's really nice to meet you at last, Blaine's told me all about you.'

'Oh dear,' Simon laughed. 'I guess he didn't paint a very good picture of me.'

'No no, he's always talked very fondly of you.'

'Honestly?'

'Yes,' I laughed.

'Well it's great to finally put a face to the name that has stolen Blaine's heart after that arsehole Mark.'

'Oh thanks,' I blushed. 'Um, would you like a drink? We've got wine, beer-'

'Yeah, beer will be great thanks,' Simon replied and I handed one over to him. 'Actually, you look familiar, have we met before?'

I shook my head. 'I don't think so.'

'I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.'

'Did Blaine show you a photo maybe? We can't have met, I'm pretty good with face-'

'Oh my god,' Simon interrupted, his whole face lighting up. 'You're the guy from that night at The Loop.'

'Sorry?'

'The gay venue in town... months ago. You were sitting at the bar on your own and I wanted to go and chat you up but Blaine stopped me, he got all possessive about it. He insisted it wasn't because you two had a "thing" or anything.'

'Er no,' I said, feeling uncomfortable. I remembered that night vividly, getting stuck in the elevator with Blaine. Who knew several months later we'd be living together? Anyway, back to the point. 'We hadn't... we got together weeks after that night.'

'Really? That doesn't explain his reaction though... unless you were his patient or something,' he added casually.

A chill went through my body and my heart quickened. The look I was giving him was all the confirmation Simon needed. He laughed. 'Oh god... you _were_ his patient... oh this is awesome, I'm gonna give Blaine _so_ much grief for this.'

'Please don't,' I said quickly.

Simon waved his hand dismissively. 'Oh don't worry, Blaine and I tease each other all the time. It's just harmless fun. I fucked a married Professor once and Blaine was still reprimanding me over it well after graduation. He was a massive prude in college and-'

'Excuse me,' I interrupted, walking past him and out of the kitchen, feeling as though I was about to throw up.

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

'...and just because he has a British accent it doesn't automatically mean he's gay,' Nick said, looking at David. It was pretty fun watching them argue over a cartoon character.

'Yeah but surely-'

'Blaine?'

I turned around at the sound of my name to see Simon standing there. 'Hey.'

'I think I might have upset Kirk,' Simon said, looking guilty.

'What do you mean might have?' I asked, feeling nervous. I looked around the room trying to spot Kurt, but he wasn't anywhere. Where the hell was he?'

'Well...'

'What have you done Simon?'

'Nothing really. We were talking and I realised I recognised him from that night out at The Loop, then I put two and two together and worked out you were his therapist and-'

'Oh god, what did you say to him?' I asked, my heart beating fast.

Simon shrugged. 'Just that I was going to tease you over it.'

I sighed. 'Right... that's ok. Um, Kurt's pretty sensitive over this sort of stuff so whatever you do, please _don't_ say anything to anyone else.'

'Of course I won't,' Simon promised.

I quickly introduced Simon to Nick and David, even though they'd met a few times before. Then I left them to it to go and find Kurt, wherever he was. For a moment I was worried he may have left the apartment, but I found him sitting on the bed in our room, head hung low. I closed the door behind me to give us some privacy and he looked up at the sound.

'Go away Blaine.'

'No.'

'Go back to your friends.'

'No,' I said again and I sat down beside him. 'Hey, it's ok.'

'No it's not,' Kurt sobbed as I put my arm around him.

'Simon's an idiot, take no notice of him.'

'But I'll be a l-laughing stock. All your f-friends will think I'm a freak.'

'No they won't.'

'Yes they will. I should just leave and-'

'Don't be absurd, you're not going anywhere. Everyone is here to see you.'

'They just want free food and alcohol,' Kurt muttered.

'Come on, you don't believe that,' I said. 'All your family, friends, and my friends adore you.'

'But I'm a stupid freak-'

'You're _not_ a freak. Kurt, listen to me, nobody will think anything because they won't find out.'

'Yeah sure,' Kurt laughed humourlessly.

'They won't Kurt, honest to god.'

'H-how would you possibly know?'

'Because I know.'

Kurt sighed. 'Well that hardly fills me with confidence. Simon's probably out there right now telling everyone how we met and what a weirdo I am.'

'Look, I know Simon seems a bit... loud, but I promise you with all my heart that he won't say a word to anybody. He even told me so. He was concerned that he'd upset you.'

'You believe that?'

'A hundred percent. I've known him ten years. Of course he'll privately tease _me_ about it for the rest of our lives but that's as far as it will go. He's actually a really good friend to have... if you refuse to hook up with him.'

Kurt laughed at that. 'He's quite good looking.'

'Oh, do you want his number?' I teased and Kurt blushed.

'No, I'm not saying I _like_ him, I just wonder why the two of you never dated.'

'Simple really. I didn't want a one night stand, and he didn't want a relationship. So we compromised and became best friends instead. I could never date him even if he did grow up one day and want to settle down. It would be weird, like going out with my brother.'

'Well if you trust him…'

'I do.'

'I guess that's ok then.'

'Good,' I smiled.

'I'm really sorry I freaked out,' Kurt said quietly.

'Don't be, I completely understand,' I said and kissed Kurt on the lips.

'I just don't want people knowing I've had therapy. Of course Dad, Carole and Kip know, but... I don't know, I'm not ashamed, but people will just make assumptions on why. I don't want to be a talking point.'

'I know you don't. I'll tell Simon that you had a phobia of guys and that I cured you on the spot,' I said and Kurt giggled, rolling his eyes at me. 'What? I think that's totally believable.'

'You're such a doofus,' Kurt smiled. 'Should we get back to the party?'

'Only if you're ready.'

'I am... and I should probably say sorry to Simon.'

'There's no need, I'll have a word with him. It's him that should be sorry. He doesn't think before he speaks.'

'Do you think he disapproves?'

'Of the doctor client thing?'

'Yeah,' Kurt whispered, looking a bit worried.

'Of course not, this is the guy who has slept with countless married men. He has absolutely no morals whatsoever. To be honest he probably thinks I'm much cooler now.'

Kurt laughed and we had one more kiss before I took his hand and led him out of the bedroom. We returned to our guests in the living room, who were all chatting and laughing and it was a lovely thing to see. Kurt began talking to some old school friends and Sam came up to me, smiling.

'Hi, you've got a lovely apartment here Blaine.'

'Oh thanks, that's mainly down to Kurt. Apparently it was too minimalist when he moved in.'

Sam laughed. 'Yeah that sounds a lot like Kurt.'

'So how are you? How are things with-'

'I ended it,' Sam interrupted, knowing that I was going to ask about him and Craig.

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. He was a jerk and I was too blind to see it.'

'Not all guys are like that you know. He just wasn't the one for you.'

'I know, but it doesn't stop it hurting,' Sam said, smiling sadly.

'Oh of course not. Everyone needs to give themselves time after a break up regardless of who ended it and why.'

'Maybe I should just become celibate? You get less heartache that way.'

'True. But can I suggest something?'

'Sure,' Sam nodded.

'Feel free to tell me if I'm out of line, but if it's a long term relationship you're after, perhaps don't go looking for it whilst at work? Being a model, you're always going to attract attention, but unfortunately a lot of it will be from shallow guys without a brain.'

Sam thought for a moment. I was starting to think that I should have kept my mouth shut when he spoke. 'You're absolutely right, and I do want to meet someone special. Maybe cupid will come up with the goods next time?'

'I'll drink to that,' I laughed.

'Can I have everyone's attention.'

I turned around at Burt's voice and the noise in the room went quiet. I caught Kurt's eye from across the room and we smiled at each other, then Kurt shrugged and gestured to his Dad to say he had no idea what he was doing.

'Thanks everyone... so we're all here to celebrate Kurt and Blaine moving in together. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that Kurt and Blaine deserve all the happiness in the world and we're thrilled they've decided to make a home and a future together. So if you can all raise your glasses. To Kurt and Blaine.'

'Kurt and Blaine,' everyone echoed and I swallowed a lump in my throat as Kurt looked close to tears and went over to hug his Dad.


	29. Chapter 29

_~BLAINE'S POV~_

The party was a great success despite the little dip at the start with Simon's big mouth and inability to be tactful. He apologised to Kurt and the two ended up getting on really well which was nice to see, although mainly laughing about me and my hair. The night concluded with a New Directions v Warblers sing off, which would probably have sounded much better if we were all sober but was a lot of fun nonetheless. Burt, Carole and Kip were the judges but in the end refused to choose a winner and declared it a draw, obviously because the Warblers were best and they didn't want to upset Kurt right?

Although it was well past midnight, Kurt and I were doing the last of the washing up in the kitchen knowing it would take three times as long if we'd just left it until tomorrow. Kurt received a text and he dried his hands on a towel before having a look.

'Oh my _god_.'

'What is it?' I asked in alarm, abandoning a glass I was drying up. Kurt was staring wide eyed at his phone. 'Kurt?'

'Sam's just text to say thanks for a great night and that he had a make out session with Simon in our guest room.'

'_What_?' I gasped, taking the phone from Kurt to read the text myself. It was all there in black and white. I sighed. 'I told Simon to stay away from him. I can't believe he's done this.'

'You warned him off Sam?'

'Yeah, he was practically stripping Sam naked with his eyes as soon as he arrived.'

'Aww that was thoughtful of you,' Kurt smiled.

'Well, it didn't work did it? Looks like it went in one ear and out the other.'

'But they're both grown adults Blaine, I'm sure Sam knows what he's doing.'

'Does he though? He's literally just broken up with a guy who cheated on him. He's vulnerable.'

Kurt shrugged. 'Maybe that's how some people cope with break ups, they go and hook up with a stranger to make them feel desirable. I'm not saying it's right but… everyone's different.'

'But Simon can be a right bastard, and I'm saying that as his friend. If Sam even has one tiny thought that something may develop there he's in for a big wakeup call.'

'You can't protect people all the time; you have to let them make their own mistakes.'

'I guess. Will you at least warn him that Simon's a player?'

'Of course I will,' Kurt said, taking his phone back and typing out a text to Sam. I was about to go back to the drying up when my own phone began ringing. I felt angry when I saw it was Simon calling.

'Simon? What was the one thing I told you not to do?'

'Well hello to you too.'

'Well?'

'I'm in love Blainey.'

'Of course you are. Why did you have to go after Sam?'

'What? How did you know about that?'

'Because he's just text Kurt.'

'Oh... did he say anything about me?'

I shook my head. Kurt was watching me, trying to guess what was being said on the other end of the phone. 'No he didn't, now why did you go after him?'

'I didn't go after him... Blaine I swear.'

'Then how on earth did you end up defiling my guest bedroom?'

'Hey, we only made out.'

'And how is that not going after him?'

'Basically we chatted for a bit and then later I came out of the bathroom and Sam was waiting for me. He kissed me and... well you know the rest. God Blaine, he's so amazing and his body is to die for. Did you know he was a model?'

'Look, Simon, just be careful ok? Be honest with him; don't promise something you can't deliver. He's not in a good place at the moment.'

'Ok ok, I get it. He's been hurt. But I've never met anyone like him.'

'You say that about all your conquests.'

'It's different this time.'

'You always say that too. Have you ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?'

'Yeah I know, I'm a slut, but I'll prove you wrong this time.'

I laughed. 'That's a day I'd love to see.'

'Anyway, thanks for a great evening, it was beyond hilarious seeing you sing.'

'It was a once in a lifetime treat.'

'Well you say once...'

'Oh god, you didn't record it did you?'

'Of course I did, it was epic. You were eye fucking Kirk and everything.'

'I hate you so much right now.'

'Yeah well I- Oh I'm getting a text, talk soon bye.'

The line went dead and I pulled the phone away from my ear. 'He hung up, I think Sam was texting him.'

'What did he say?' Kurt asked.

'The usual, he's in love and has never met anyone like him blah blah blah.'

'Hopefully one day he'll say that and it will be true.'

'Yeah,' I laughed. 'Well I guess we just leave them to it now.'

'So have you never had a one night stand?' Kurt asked me, not quite meeting my eye.

'No. It's just never appealed to me. When I came out Cooper sat me down and gave me an excruciatingly embarrassing lecture about sex and not throwing yourself around.'

Kurt laughed. 'Oh my god, I'd have loved to see that. I bet you were all cute, wide eyed and blushing bright red.'

'It was the worst half hour of my life.'

'But his words really stuck huh?'

I smiled. 'Yeah they did... you know, I'm gonna sleep so well tonight.'

'Me too. But it was a great night wasn't it?'

'The best,' I replied, closing the gap between us and kissing Kurt.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, broke the kiss and then whispered into my ear, 'How would you feel about letting me _ravish_ you tonight?'

A gasp escaped from the back of my throat, I shivered all over and my cock became instantly hard. Kurt laughed at my reaction as he pulled back to look at me with lust filled eyes.

'I er um...' I stuttered and Kurt smirked, then teasingly ran his tongue slowly along his bottom lip. He looked very pleased he'd rendered me a mumbling mess. I hadn't expected Kurt to say it and I was in a total state of shock and pure arousal.

'Well I'll take your silence as a no then,' Kurt said and he went to walk off but I grabbed the front of his shirt forcefully and attacked his lips. Needless to say the washing up still wasn't done by the morning.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

The past two weeks had sailed by since our moving in party. Blaine and I were in our blissfully happy bubble living together and I was slowly forgetting the life I had before him. Nothing pleased me more than getting home from work and waiting for Blaine to get back. I know I sound like a broken record but I was just so amazed by how my life had changed. It truly felt like the only way was up.

Just after I got home from work one afternoon I received a rather intriguing text from Jeff. _Hi Kurt, I know it's really short notice but would you please please please meet me this evening? We could go for coffee. It's really important. Jeff :)_

_Sure, how about 18:30 at the Lima Bean? K__Thank you! I'll see you then. Jeff_

I decided not to ask why, assuming that Jeff would have said in his original message if he wanted me to know upfront. But I couldn't wait to find out what it was about. It was Nick and Jeff's anniversary in a week, perhaps some sort of surprise Jeff wanted help with?

When Blaine arrived home just before six and walked into the bedroom to see me getting dressed rather than in the kitchen cooking dinner, he eyed me suspiciously. 'Going somewhere?'

'Yeah sorry,' I apologised. I went up to him and gave him a kiss and a hug before giving him an explanation. 'I know I was going to make a chicken salad tonight but something's come up.'

'That's ok. So where are you off to? Have you got a hot date?'

'To meet Jeff,' I laughed and Blaine's eyebrows rose up in surprise. 'Yeah I know we're not exactly best friends or anything, but he text me a little while ago wanting to see me. It's important apparently, probably to do with their anniversary. Maybe he thinks you'd just blab to Nick or something.'

'Well that's weird,' Blaine laughed.

'What is?' I asked, feeling a little hurt. Was it so strange that Jeff and I could hang out on our own together?

'Nick called me at lunchtime today asking if we could meet up this evening. I'm meeting him at a bar at half seven.'

Well that certainly did make things weird. 'Really?'

'Yeah,' Blaine nodded.

'Odd.'

'Very odd.'

'Coincidence?'

Blaine shrugged. 'Maybe.'

'I wonder what's going on. Do you think they know about each others plans?' I asked.

'I don't know. Maybe Jeff didn't want to be home alone tonight so invited you out because he knew I'd be with Nick?'

'Hmm, possibly. It seems strange Jeff wouldn't mention it in his text though if he knew Nick was meeting you. Should we double check with them?'

Blaine thought for a moment whilst he removed his tie and threw it on the bed. 'I think we should just see what happens when we meet up with them. Perhaps ask where the other is and see what they say.'

'Ok. How did Nick sound when you spoke to him?'

'Um... distracted now I think about it. I was in line for coffee at the time so wasn't paying a lot of attention.'

'I hope they're ok.'

'Yeah me too. It probably is just something silly about their anniversary party. Maybe they're both planning on singing a song?'

'Or they're ensuring we're both out so they can rob us.'

Blaine laughed. 'Well at least we'll know where to send the cops.'

'Also, I got a phone call from Rachel today. She's in town this weekend, is it ok if I spend the night at her Dad's?'

Blaine smiled at me so lovingly and took one of my hands in his. 'You are so adorable and you know you don't need to ask. Sounds fun, will it just be the two of you?'

'I think Mercedes and Tina are coming too, but they haven't confirmed yet. Are you sure you're ok with it?'

'Of course I am,' Blaine laughed. 'I might go and see my parents or see if any of the Warblers are about. I think I'll survive.'

'I'll text you loads.'

'You better.'

* * *

><p>At just after six thirty I walked into The Lima Bean to find Jeff sitting at a table waiting for me, his hands holding a cup of coffee. He looked glum and not his usual chirpy self which worried me a bit. This wasn't a guy who was excited about celebrating twelve years of happy memories with Nick in a weeks time.<p>

'Hi,' I said and he looked up to give me a small smile.

'Hi Kirk, thanks so much for coming. Can I get you a coffee or something?'

'No no, I'll get it,' I said as Jeff was about to get up.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah. I'll be back in a minute.'

I got in the line to get a coffee, my mind racing with why Jeff wanted to see me. Also, why Nick wanted to see Blaine. From Jeff's demeanour it didn't seem as though it would be good news like planning a romantic gesture. With my coffee in hand, I returned to Jeff and sat down opposite him.

'I'm really sorry for dragging you out on a week night, but I didn't know what else to do.'

'It's ok,' I replied with a smile.

'I know Blaine and I have been friends for over a decade, but he's also friends with Nick and I just...'

Jeff tailed off with a sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair. He looked really tired, as though he hadn't been sleeping properly. So this _was_ about Nick then? Oh god I hope they hadn't broken up, they were the perfect gay couple to look up to. What if Blaine has to pick between the two? Shit, why am I even having these thoughts right now? I should say something.

'I take it something has happened between you and Nick?'

'Not as such,' Jeff replied, taking a sip of his drink.

'Jeff... what's going on?'

'Well... I don't know, that's the thing. He's not really been himself.'

'In what way?' I asked.

'He's been distant lately, distracted... he's not been interested in um... you know.'

'Right and um... do you two usually do that a lot?' I asked awkwardly. I can't believe I was talking about sex with Jeff. Thank god he was too distracted to notice the blush on my cheeks.

'At least twice a week. And he keeps searching around the house for something, and when I ask him what it is he says nothing.'

'Have you tried confronting him?'

Jeff shook his head sadly. 'I'm scared of what the answer will be.'

'I can understand that. So where's Nick tonight?'

Jeff rolled his eyes. 'Working late apparently.'

So Jeff had no idea Nick was with Blaine right now. I was torn between wanting to let him know where Nick was and thinking I should mind my own business. If Nick didn't want Jeff knowing where he was maybe there was a genuine reason for it. But there was definitely something going on.

'What if he's ill... or seeing someone else?' Jeff said in a panic. 'Oh god, I don't know which one would be worse. How horrible is that?'

I reached out and took Jeff's hand. 'Hey, try not to jump to any conclusions. Maybe Nick is stressed with work at the moment and doesn't want to burden you? Maybe he's rehearsing a performance for your anniversary party next week? There could be a hundred different reasons. You know him better than anyone, do you really think he would deliberately hurt you?

Jeff shook his head. 'No.'

'Perhaps wait until your anniversary. If things continue beyond then you really should have it out with him.'

Jeff smiled. 'You're right. You know, it's so good to talk this through with someone. I've been going mad.'

'Sometimes a situation seems so much worse in our head. I guess we're programmed to think negatively. But I'm sure everything will be just fine.'

Thanks Kirk, I really appreciate it.'

'Anytime. Now tell me about your party plans.'

* * *

><p><em>~BLAINE'S POV~<em>

At just before seven thirty Nick walked into the bar, spotted me waiting at a table for him and walked over. 'Hi, thanks for agreeing to meet up at such short notice.'

'No problem, anytime' I smiled, handing him over a beer as he sat down.

'Thanks for this, I need it.'

'Bad day?' I asked, after Nick had taken a long swig.

'Something like that.'

'So what's happening with you? Why did you wanna meet up?'

Nick gave a huge sigh. 'Blaine... I've never been so stressed and nervous in my whole life. I can't eat, I can't sleep... I'm going crazy.'

I was completely confused. 'I don't understand, you're stressed about a party?'

Nick laughed. 'No, not about the party. Well not really.'

'Then what?' I asked, wondering what on earth it could be. Oh god, I hope he wasn't sick or something and wondering how to tell Jeff. I don't think I'd be able to cope.

'This.' Nick pulled a small velvet box out from inside his jacket and opened it up to show an impressive and expensive looking engagement ring. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank fuck for that.

'Wow,' I gasped.

'This is the reason I'm a complete wreck at the moment,' Nick chuckled.

'You're proposing to Jeff?'

Nick nodded. 'In front of everyone.'

'Oh my god, that's _so_ amazing,' I gushed. 'It's about time too.'

'I know. Well we can do it all legally now. I didn't see the point in just getting engaged and not actually marrying for years and years.'

'Aww you're so romantic.'

'Thanks.'

'But why are you so worried though? You've been together twelve years, you live together and are madly in love. Jeff will say yes and then you'll both annoy the hell out of everyone else for months whilst you plan the best gay wedding ever.'

Nick laughed and it was good to see him finally relax a bit. It looked like he was finally glad to talk about it with someone. 'I don't know... what if he says no? What if he hates being surprised in front of our guests? What if I mumble and can't get my words out? What if our parents hate the idea and-'

'Nick, stop,' I said, taking his hand. 'I've known you what feels like forever, and believe me everything is going to be fine. It's natural to be nervous but I know in the moment you'll be completely focused and the only thing that matters is you and Jeff.'

'You really think so?'

'I know so.'

'Would you make sure I don't drink too much on the night? I'm not sure I'll be able to tell the difference between dutch courage and getting wasted.'

'Of course,' I laughed. 'I'll be by your side the entire time.'

'And would you be my best man?' Nick smiled.

I was speechless for a moment. 'Oh my god, _really_?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you sure you want me?'

'Come on Blaine, I wouldn't want anyone else. You were the one that made me ask Jeff out in the first place remember?'

'I think I told you to grow a pair and stop being a dick.'

'Exactly. So?'

'Of course I will, I'd be honoured.' We both stood up and had a man hug before sitting back down again. 'So where's Jeff now?' I asked.

Nick shrugged. 'At home I suppose. He thinks I'm working late.'

'Do you think he has any idea what you're planning?' I asked, wondering why on earth Jeff needed to see Kurt so urgently. Maybe he was planning to propose as well. How funny would that be? I couldn't wait to compare notes with Kurt later.

'I don't think so. He has noticed me being a bit on edge though.'

'Well you don't to worry him too much; you might end up having to reveal your intentions. Just try and relax, think about Jeff and nothing else.'

'Thanks Blaine, you're the best.'

'I know,' I replied and we both laughed.

'So Blaine, when are you going to propose to Kirk?'

I couldn't help blushing. 'Shut up and drink your beer.'

'Come on man, you've obviously thought about it. You've gone bright red.'

'Yeah I've thought about it. That's all you're getting.'

'I hate you. I'm going to ask Wes to be my best man instead.'

I gasped. 'You wouldn't dare.'

Nick smirked. 'Try me.'

'Ok,' I sighed. 'Well…'

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I got home first, beating Blaine by about ten minutes, but it felt like hours, the anticipation killing me. But as soon as he walked into the living room, smiling, I relaxed and knew instantly everything was going to be just fine. Blaine sat next to me on the sofa and pulled me into a deep kiss. As his tongue entered my mouth I couldn't help moaning indecently which made him chuckle. Well what did he expect taking me by surprise like that? He pulled back, smirking and very pleased with his work.

'What was that for?' I asked, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

'No reason,' he shrugged and he took my hand in his. 'So, who's gonna go first?'

'You go,' I replied, wanting to know why he was so happy.

'Well... Nick is in a bit of a panic at the moment because... he's planning to propose.'

'Oh my God.'

Blaine laughed at my shocked expression. 'He's asking Jeff during their party.'

'Bless him, I bet he's really nervous. Oh I'm so happy for them. The proposal's going to be _so_ good. I bet I cry.'

'I bet I cry too.'

'Do you think we should record it?'

'Yeah that's a great idea. Then we can show their kids one day.'

'You think they'll have kids?' I asked.

Blaine nodded. 'I think so. Probably not until their thirties though.'

'Aww they would make great parents.'

'And guess who Nick asked to be his best man?' Blaine asked proudly, giving me a little wink.

'Oh wow, that's amazing,' I gushed giving Blaine a hug.

'Thank you.'

'I can't wait to hear your speech. I'll definitely be recording that.'

At the mention of doing a speech, Blaine's face fell. 'Oh yeah, I have to do a speech… fuck.'

'You'll be fine,' I giggled. 'Anyway, I'm so glad tonight turned out to be something good.'

'Me too. Oh, so what did Jeff want to see you about?'

'He's worried about Nick because he's been acting weirdly. He's got it into his head that Nick might be cheating on him or hiding an illness.'

'Poor Jeff,' Blaine sighed. 'But just think, in a few days time he'll be the happiest guy in the world.'

'Has Nick got the ring yet?'

'Yeah, he showed me. It's beautiful.'

'So you don't think we need to do anything further? I did suggest to Jeff to wait and see if Nick's behaviour continued past their anniversary.'

'Yeah I don't think we should rock the boat. Their anniversary is only a week away and I think talking things through with Nick will probably have calmed him down a bit. I guess Jeff didn't feel comfortable in confiding to me about his concerns?'

I could see a slight flicker of hurt in Blaine's eyes, but I think Jeff seeking me out was the best thing to do. 'I think he wanted an outside opinion. You, Wes and David are their best friends and Jeff probably felt he'd get a fairer hearing from someone else. He was really scared, I don't think being laughed at and told to stop being silly would have helped.'

'I guess that's true,' Blaine smiled. 'Even with my career I probably would find it hard to be subjective with those two. The thought of them splitting up makes me feel sick.'

'Aww, that's so sweet.'

'Don't tell them I said that,' Blaine laughed. 'I'd never hear the end of it.'

'This is gonna be such a great week. We're getting a cat, I get to meet Cooper at last and then we'll witness Nick and Jeff get engaged. I can't wait.'

'It's gonna be awesome,' Blaine beamed. 'Just so you know, when the wedding arrives, feel free to seduce Nick's best man.'

'Oh I will,' I whispered. 'And not just at the wedding.'

'Is that a threat or a promise?' Blaine asked, his eyes full of lust.

'Both,' I smirked and then leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

><p>Life really couldn't get any better than this precise moment. What was it about pets that they were so endlessly fascinating and calming for the soul? Joey was sat on one end of the sofa and the newest member of our family, a tabby cat we named Cookie, was sat at the other. Blaine and I agreed that dogs should have a human name and cats a weird name. They were having a staring competition and it was hilarious to watch. At one point Cookie sneezed which made Joey jump up in fright and me wish I'd been recording it to show Blaine when he got in from work.<p>

It was Friday and the day before Nick and Jeff's anniversary party. Blaine and I were ridiculously excited knowing what Nick was planning to do. Cooper was flying in from LA tonight so I would be meeting him for the first time tomorrow before we all headed to the party together.

But tonight Blaine and I had planned a quiet night in with a bottle of wine and a couple of movies. I was just wondering how long he would be when my phone started ringing. It wasn't a number I recognised.

'Hello?' I answered.

'Kurt?'

'Yeah speaking.'

'It's Blaine's Dad... something's happened.'


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Firstly, I apologise profusely for the evil cliff-hanger at the end of the last chapter (I'm sorry, I just can't help myself!) Although this chapter is quite difficult (nobody will die btw) I hope you enjoy it nonetheless and there's a new twist… Cooper's POV!

* * *

><p><em><strong>~COOPER'S POV~<strong>_

I got the phone call before I even picked up my suitcase from baggage reclaim. I answered the phone call from my Dad enthusiastically, thinking that my parents just wanted to know if I'd landed and was on my way.

I was supposed to be coming home for the weekend to see my family and meet Blaine's boyfriend for the first time and have a good old part and Nick and Jeff's, but instead I was sitting in the back of a taxi on the way to the hospital, the future completely unknown and up in the air.

My brain just didn't know how to process what was happening so had switched onto autopilot. I'd even managed small talk with the taxi driver about a recent baseball game as though everything was alright with the world. How wrong was that? But how can you go from being deliriously happy one moment to being utterly distraught the next?

Even as I got out of the taxi, looked up at the hospital, walked through the entrance, waited for the elevator and arrived at the intensive care floor, I was still refusing to believe it was true. It couldn't be. It was just a joke, my baby brother was going to jump out from behind a corner and then we'd all laugh, go home and carry on with our lives.

But of course that didn't happen.

I walked slowly down the corridor, delaying the inevitable. But as soon as I saw my Dad, standing and leaning back against a wall with his head hung low, I had to swallow a lump in my throat. _Be strong Cooper_. Blaine wouldn't want me moping about, wouldn't want me breaking down, he'd want me looking after our parents, looking after Kurt, and keeping their spirits up.

'Dad,' I said quietly and he turned to look at me, a small smile appearing on his tired and pale face.

'Cooper.'

We put our arms around each other and didn't move for at least a minute. We said all we needed to in that hug, that we were glad to see each other, that everything was going to be ok, that Blaine was going to be fine.

'Has there been any more news?' I asked once we parted and Dad shook his head.

'Not since we called you, he's still in the OR.'

'Well no news is good news right? It means whatever they're doing is working.'

'I really hope so son.'

'Where's Mom?'

'She...' Dad stopped briefly and took a deep breath. 'Your aunt arrived about half an hour ago to take her home. She was in no fit state to be here.'

'Poor Mom, I know Blaine's my brother but he's her son... her child. I can't imagine how she feels.'

'I know, it's heart breaking for a mother.'

'You too Dad, we all know much you love Blaine.' Dad had to fight back the tears then, so I changed the subject. 'Um... what about Kurt, is he here?'

'There,' Dad said quietly, pointing over to Kurt, who was sitting on a chair at the end of the corridor and staring at the floor. He looked so lost and broken, my heart ached for him. 'He hasn't said a word poor thing. Just sits there. I wish there was something we could do for him.'

'What about his family? Shouldn't they be here for them?'

'Well there's his Dad I guess, but we wouldn't know how to contact him.'

'Leave it to me,' I said.

I walked over to Kurt and bent down in front of him. This was the guy who had stolen my brother's heart and I couldn't help feeling protective of him, despite this horrible situation being the first time we've met. He slowly looked up a little to meet my gaze, but it was as though he was looking straight through me instead.

'Hi Kurt, I'm Cooper.'

Nothing.

'Blaine's brother.'

Nothing.

'Does anyone else know you're here?'

Nothing.

'I really think you need to have your family here with you. Can I have your phone?'

Kurt blinked a few times. I had no idea if what I'd just said had registered with him at all. But he didn't say anything and didn't make a move to give me his phone, so I tried again, speaking a bit louder.

'Kurt, could I have your phone? I'd like to call your Dad.'

'They'll be hungry,' Kurt said quietly, completely baffling me.

'Sorry?'

'Hungry and...'

'I'm sorry. Who will be hungry?'

'Joey... and um...'

I turned to my Dad, who had come to stand nearer us. 'Is Joey Blaine's dog?'

'Yeah, they've got a cat as well.'

'I need to feed them,' Kurt said as I turned back to him. It was clear Kurt was completely in shock and acting strangely, I didn't need to have met him before to know that.

'It's ok Kurt, we'll take care of the pets for you. Can you give me your phone and keys to the apartment?'

'Phone?'

'Yes, and keys if that's ok?'

Kurt frowned, clearly not understanding fully what was going on or what was being asked of him, but after a few seconds of silence he slowly handed over his phone and keys. 'Thank you, I'll be back in a minute ok? And just remember, Blaine's a fighter... he always has been, and he always we.'

I patted Kurt on the shoulder and then stood up and went back over to my Dad who was looking worried about Kurt. 'Do you think he'll be ok?' he asked me.

'Yeah,' I nodded. 'The shock is bound to wear off soon, especially once we get some good news from the surgeons.'

'I guess so. One of us we'll have to call Nick and Jeff. It's that anniversary party tomorrow... well today.'

'I'll call them. We'll just make up an excuse. Blaine wouldn't want to ruin their day.'

'Are you sure that's a good idea?' Dad asked. 'They're his best friends.'

'Yeah well... they can hate us for it later but at least they get their special day. Nick's proposing.'

'What?'

'Yeah, Blaine told me. He would kill us for not allowing that to go ahead.'

'I suppose you're right.'

I looked down at Kurt's phone and smiled to see his wallpaper was a smiling photo of Blaine with his natural curls and holding up what must be their cat. It had been a long time since I'd seen Blaine's hair, as god intended. Swallowing a large lump in my throat, I then scrolled through Kurt's phone contacts until I came to 'Dad' and pressed call.

'What's Kurt's surname?' I asked Dad.

'Um... Hummel.'

It eventually went to voicemail, so I rung again but the same thing happened. Then I tried the number under 'Home' and sure enough after about fifteen rings a man answered, clearly having been woken up.

'H- hello?'

'Is that Mr Hummel?'

'Yeah this is Burt Hummel... w-what's going on? It's 2am.'

'I'm sorry... um, my name is Cooper, I'm Blaine Anderson's brother and-'

'Oh my god, is Kurt ok?' Mr Hummel was well and truly awake now.

'Yes he's fine Sir, it's... it's Blaine. He was involved in a car crash on the way home from work.'

'Oh no... is... is he ok?' I could hear the hesitation in his voice. What he was really asking was, is he dead?

'Well he... he's having surgery. He's got a head injury and they um... they're trying to relieve the pressure on his brain.'

'Oh jesus... I'm so sorry. Is Kurt there? Can I talk to him?'

'That's why I'm calling, Kurt's in shock. He really needs you.'

'Of course, I'll come straight away. Can I give you my number so you can text me the details?'

'Sure. I'm calling from Kurt's phone so I have your number already.'

'Right, I'll be there soon. Thank you for calling Cooper, and your brother is one of life's fighters.'

'He certainly is.'

I ended the call and sent Mr Hummel a text telling him which hospital we were in and what floor to come to. I could have just said over the phone but it's at times like this when details get easily forgotten.

'Is he coming?' Dad asked as I pocketed Kurt's phone.

'Yeah. Dad, you look shattered. Why don't you go home for a bit and get some sleep?'

Dad gave out a humourless laugh. 'Sleep? Good one Coop.'

'Well at least go and have a rest and a break from these depressing windowless corridors and harsh lighting. I'm here and I'll call you the minute anything happens. Blaine won't be out of surgery for at least another three hours.'

'I don't know,' Dad sighed. 'I'm his Dad, I should be here.'

'And you have been since 6pm. Look, go home, see Mom and after an hour or two you'll both be ready to come back before we hear any news.'

'Ok,' Dad nodded and then he looked over at Kurt. 'What about Kurt?

'I'll look after him until his Dad gets here.'

'Make sure you call me if anything happens, I mean in Cooper, even if it's only ten minutes from now.'

'I will, I promise.'

Dad gave me a hug, squeezing tighter than was necessary. I watched him go before sitting down on the chair next to Kurt. 'Your Dad's on his way.'

For a few minutes we just sat in silence. I didn't know whether Kurt was really listening or not, but I decided to start talking anyway. It distracted me from thinking about what Blaine was going through.

'I'm really sorry we're meeting for the first time like this... I was really looking forward to meeting the guy that has reverted my baby brother to a sixteen year old again... and I mean that as a compliment, whenever Blaine and I talk he can't shut up about you... I remember after your first official date he called me at silly o'clock in the morning going on about flowers...'

* * *

><p>It felt like I'd just closed my eyes for five seconds and then the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. But as I looked at the time (06:15) I mumbled, 'What the fuck.' It was Blaine so I decided I better take it rather than ignore it.<p>

'Somebody better be dead,' I answered, sounding irritable.

'Coop, I can't even explain how perfect Kurt is.'

This was why Blaine was calling me at the crack of dawn? To gush about how amazing Kurt was? The fact that he was my baby brother and I loved him to bits was what kept me from saying 'Fuck off,' and putting the phone down,

'Oh great, you want to analyse your date at _six_ in the morning? Are you mental or something?'

'Stop being grumpy, I need to talk about him. Everyone else would just put the phone down on me.'

'Why are you gays so needy?'

'Shut up.'

'So I take it Kurt is great, the date was great and life is great?'

'He's just _so_ amazing. He's so cute and adorable.'

'Uh huh.'

'We like all the same musicals and tv shows.'

'Uh huh.'

'He just completely gets me Coop.'

'Uh huh.'

'And when I took him home-'

'Woah, I don't wanna hear about your bedroom activities, I know how it all works thanks.'

'_Coop_, I took Kurt to _his_ home and gave him a goodnight kiss on the doorstep.'

'Prude,' I couldn't help saying and could practically hear Blaine's eye roll. He was such a gentleman, I was kind of proud though as I once gave him a long lecture on relationships and sex. I was so scared for him when he came out, I didn't want him to be taken advantage of.

'Do you think it would be silly to send flowers?'

'How would I know?' I laughed.

'I just really feel the need to let him know that our date was amazing and I can't stop thinking about him.'

'Why don't you just text him?'

Blaine sighed. 'But that's so impersonal... what do you think I should do? I don't want Kurt to be freaked out by it.'

'Blaine, just send him flowers and let me go back to sleep.'

'Yeah I guess so.'

'Dude, you know I'm happy for you, but I didn't get to sleep until three this morning so your chirpy post-date enthusiasm is hurting my head.'

'Then why did you pick up?'

'I was banking on someone being dead.'

'Coop.'

'Sorry, just being honest.'

'So what flowers do you think I should send?'

'Oh jesus, kill me.'

* * *

><p>'...He's just so happy with you. I've never known him feel so content with his life. I was starting to worry about him you know, I mean he was happy enough but there just wasn't anything lighting up his life. All he really cared about was his job... I understand you're feeling utterly horrible right now Kurt, but we both know Blaine. He'll be up and about again in no time, fretting over what bow tie to wear or getting excited over a new brand of hair gel. Don't give up hope; Blaine needs us... especially you. You're his future; it's you he lives for.'<p>

Ten minutes later a man and a woman came rushing down the corridor towards us, stopping when they saw Kurt, relief on their faces. Kurt's Dad immediately bent down in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders. 'Kurt, are you ok?'

'Dad,' Kurt whispered, choking back a sob.

'I'm here buddy,' Burt said, moving to sit on the chair on the other side of Kurt and hugging his son close.

I stood up, feeling as though this was a private moment for them. I walked over to the woman and gave her a weak smile. 'Hi, I'm Blaine's brother, Cooper.'

'Carole, Kurt's step mom. I'm so sorry to hear about Blaine, we're so fond of him. He's a lovely man.'

'Thanks, yeah he's pretty special.'

'Has there been any more news?'

'Not yet. We're waiting for the surgeon to finish.'

'That means it's all going to plan right?' Carole said and I felt like hugging her.

'That's what I thought.' I took Kurt's phone out of my pocket and handed it to Carole. 'Kurt's phone. Um... now you and Burt are here would it be ok if I went off for half an hour?'

'Of course,' Carole smiled. 'We have your number.'

'Kurt's been worried about his pets, I'm just gonna go and check on them and feed them.'

'Oh no no,' Carole replied, shaking her head. 'I'll do that, you stay here.'

'But-'

'No buts. Burt and I both brought our cars, I'll drive over to the apartment... it might actually be best if I take them home with me. It won't be a good idea for Kurt to be alone whilst Blaine's in hospital.'

'Are you sure? I don't want to cause you any trouble.'

'Of course, it's no trouble at all. Blaine's part of our family.'

'I guess you'll be needing these,' I said, giving Carole the keys to the apartment.

Carole spent a few minutes with Kurt, giving him a big hug and telling him everything was going to be ok, before leaving. I didn't know what to do with myself, stand or sit down? Stay still or pace the corridors? Kurt seemed somewhat comforted, cuddled up to his Dad with his eyes closed.

'How you doing Cooper?' Burt asked me.

'Honestly? I don't know.'

'I can see in your eyes how scared you are... it's ok to be scared.'

I swallowed deeply and took a deep breath. 'I've just been on autopilot. Blaine would want me to take control, to... to be the strong one.'

'Blaine wouldn't want his brother to take on more than he can handle,' Burt said and I nodded. 'But you've got to do what's right for you. Coping comes in so many different forms, just because someone appears ok doesn't mean they are.'

'Has Blaine been giving you one of his lectures?' I asked and Burt gave a small smile.

'Your brother's smart Cooper. He's smart enough to know there's too much waiting for him on this side of that door.'

Ok, so that went straight to me. I turned around and closed my eyes. _Don't cry_.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until 6am in the morning when the wait was finally over. I've never been a religious man, but had found myself praying on and off during the night, clasping my hands together tightly and praying I wasn't about to lose my little brother. So many things had been going through my mind, why didn't I come home more often? Was I a good brother?<p>

Blaine's surgeon came out of the OR, still dressed in his scrubs and looking tired. He must have been due to clock off several hours ago. We really didn't appreciate doctors enough and the miracles they're involved in every day.

He asked us all into a private room. There was me, my parents, Kurt, and his parents. The atmosphere was incredibly tense as we took our seats and waited with bated breath for the verdict. Kurt looked white as a sheet.

'Firstly, I apologise for the long wait you've all had,' he started. 'I know it's been a long night for you all. Blaine is just being taken to recovery at the moment.'

There were a lot of sighs of relief. 'Thank god,' my Dad said quietly and Burt kissed the top of Kurt's head and whispered something in his ear.

'Blaine sustained a head injury in the crash, no other injuries apart from some cuts and bruises. Although he was conscience when the paramedics arrived, it quickly became apparent he was going downhill fast. His speech was slurred; he was confused and got simple questions incorrect. He was scanned as soon as he arrived here and we found swelling and a blood clot on his brain. We've been successful in removing the clot; however the next 48 hours are going to be a tough ride for him. He's completely sedated to help his body recover and bring down the swelling in his brain. I don't want to give you all false hope, but we got to him quickly, he's young and it's highly unlikely, in my opinion, that he would suddenly get any worse.'

The surgeon took a moment to allow what he'd said to sink in before continuing. 'Now, there is always a small chance of complications and infection the longer he's kept asleep, so be rest assured we will not keep him sedated for the sake of it. As soon as the pressure levels have returned to normal we will begin the waking up process.'

'How long does that take?' I asked.

The surgeon looked reluctant to answer for a moment. 'Everyone is different, hours... days... weeks. There's no telling especially at this very early stage.'

'Is it possible Blaine could be...' my Dad began to ask, but trailed off, not being able to finish. The surgeon understood what he was asking though, could Blaine be brain dead? Could he wake up thinking he was only 12 or something?

'I can't give you a definite answer, but as I said before we got to him quick, which significantly reduces the chance of any long term damage. So those signs are good at the moment.'

'Can we see him?' my Mom asked, trying to hold back the tears.

'Not at the moment, I know that's not what you want to hear, but please believe we have Blaine's best interests at heart. He'll be in recovery for the next two or three hours which is a sterile area and then we should be able to move him to intensive care. So probably in about four hours. I would strongly recommend that you all take some time out, even if it's just to go home for a little while. Blaine will need you all to be strong for him.'

'If we talk to him, will he be able to hear us?' I asked.

'Maybe,' the surgeon smiled. 'The truth is we don't really know. But we would always encourage people to talk to the patient.'

'Thank you so much for saving our son's life,' Dad said.

'You're welcome,' the surgeon replied.

* * *

><p><em>~KURT'S POV~<em>

I couldn't wait to get home. Even just ten hours away from them, I missed them terribly. Maybe it was uncool in this day and age, but I loved my home life. A meeting after work meant I didn't pull up outside the house until 18:30. I went in, hung my coat up and went to find the two loves of my life.

In the living room, the lights were dimmed and the radio was playing very softly. Blaine was lying on his back on the sofa; George (named after the future King of Britain of course) curled up asleep on his Daddy's chest. I was so glad we'd decided Blaine was going to be the biological father, George's curls were the cutest thing in the world and looking into his eyes was just like looking into Blaine's. It made my heart melt every time.

'Hey,' Blaine said, noticing me watching them from the doorway.

'Hi,' I smiled.

I went over and knelt down in front of them and kissed George's forehead. He squirmed a little but stayed fast asleep. Then I looked up at Blaine and kissed his smiling lips.

'I'm jealous,' Blaine said.

'Why?'

'I don't get the first kiss anymore.'

I rolled my eyes. 'You're such a child sometimes.'

'I'm sorry I couldn't keep him awake; he was so tired poor thing. Mom said he wouldn't go down for his nap today because Joey and Cookie were being particularly entertaining.'

'That's ok,' I giggled. George was completely enthralled by Joey and Cookie, I guess for him it was like having real life teddy bears. 'At least it's Saturday tomorrow.'

Blaine beamed. 'I love weekends.'

'Well, so I guess it's just a quiet night in for the two of us then... I might just let my husband have his wicked way with me later... maybe I'll even ride you and-'

'Kurt,' Blaine gasped, stroking George's head. 'Not in front of the baby.'

I couldn't help laughing, Blaine was so cute. 'He's six months old and asleep.'

'Here,' Blaine said, carefully lifting George up.

I took him in my arms and stood up, just staring down at the adorable sleeping boy. Blaine got to his feet and stretched after being in an awkward position for too long. Then he walked up behind me, putting his arms around me and his chin on my shoulder.

'Sometimes I just can't believe he's ours,' Blaine said quietly.

'I know, he's so perfect. How did we get so lucky?'

'Kurt?'

'Mmm?'

'Kurt?'

'Yeah?'

'KURT?'

I jumped and my eyes flew open, my heart racing. I blinked a few times and focused to find my Dad staring at me from outside the car, holding the door open. It hit me like a ton of bricks. _Blaine_. _Hospital_. I felt like I was going to be sick.

'We're here Kurt. You ok?'

'Yeah, I just... I had a dr...'

'Dream?' Dad asked and I just nodded. Was it dream? Was there such a thing as a vision? It had seemed so real, I could even recall the smell of George's hair and-

_Fucking hell Kurt, get a grip._

I felt tears stinging in my eyes; I was feeling an overwhelming sense of grief for somebody that doesn't even exist. I was well and truly going out of my mind.

'Kurt? Are you sure you're ok? Do we need to call the doctor?'

'I just need some air,' I replied, getting out of the car and taking a few deep breaths of fresh cold air. The whole world was wrong and didn't make sense. My Blaine was lying in intensive care and not in my arms. He must be feeling so alone, and I was miles away. I couldn't do this.

'I have to go back.'

'What?' Dad asked, looking worried.

'I have to go back.'

'Kurt… you heard what the doctor said. Nobody will even be able to see Blaine for a while.'

'I don't care.'

'Please, just come inside. Try and have a bite to eat and a sleep on the sofa. Build up your energy.'

'No…please just take me back... I'll sleep in the corridor... just _please_.'

'Kurt, I-'

'What if it was Carole? Or Kip? Or me?'

I knew it was emotional blackmail, but I really didn't care. Dad thought for a moment before saying, 'Ok, let's go.'

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>… I would really love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, and I probably do deserve a lot of shouting at haha… so bring it on! I hope the change to Cooper's POV didn't seem too weird. Thank you so much to those who reviewed the previous chapter :) I really enjoyed reading your comments and I'm glad some people are interested in Sam/Simon… they will be back of course!


End file.
